Disclaimer: Takahashi Rumiko owns these wonderful characters, particularly
a certain silver haired, white clad dog demon *ahem* bishounen. . .
Author's Note: I love you guys! Really I do! To Sith, domo arigatou gozimasu for staying with me from the start! I promise there is some Sesshoumaru x Kagome fluff in the next chappie, plus a surprise in this one! XP I think I've emphasized enough how much they are supposed to dislike each other and how unconsciously they are starting to soften on one another. So, this one's for you, Sith! *hug* ^_^ Oh, and also (to those that care). . . I will be continuing Uncovering Humanity. . . Chapter 1 is already underway!
"___" = Dialogue
'___' = Thoughts
*___* = Special 'stuff'
Conflicting Desires
By Forsaken Tenshi
Chapter 6: The Newcomers
Later Kagome and Rin rinsed their hair in the bathroom and toweled their hair dry. By now Kagome's wounds had healed due to her special abilities and she was able to move about without the slightest amount of pain. Rin twiddled a short curl with her fingers, marveling its softness. She turned bright eyes on the priestess, who was combing her fingers through her waist length hair.
"Arigatou, Kagome-chan!" the eight year old piped with a large gap toothed smile.
"You are welcome, Rin-chan," replied Kagome affectionately. Kagome dressed into another silk kimono. This particular one consisted of a plain light pink kimono with a crimson obi. Honestly, she needed to get more priestess outfits! She couldn't fight demons in these clothes! She would talk to the dog demon later. "Would you like to show me your drawings now, Rin- chan?" she asked after she had finished pinning up her hair.
"Sure!" giggled the girl, grabbing the teen's hand and rushing off into the halls, Kagome in tow. They arrived at Rin's room, a spacious bedchamber with large, red curtained windows. In a corner stood a low table, on which untidy piles of paper, scattered brushes, assorted ink dishes, and blocks of black ink lay. Rin scuttled over to the table and grabbed a picture, hopping up and down with the paper in her chubby hands. Kagome walked over and gently took the drawing from the excited Rin. The picture was comprised of stick figures, yet she could tell who was who. There was Sesshoumaru, the tallest figure with a mass of hair. Then there was herself, standing next to Sesshoumaru, hair painted black and a smile on her face. There was Rin, who had the biggest smile of the group. Jaken was also in the picture; he stood solemnly with the Staff of Heads in his hand.
"It's beautiful, Rin-chan," complimented Kagome. Rin's reaction was a bright blush and an embarrassed giggle that made the shrine maiden's heart melt.
"Arigatou, Kagome-chan!"
Kagome regarded the hyperactive child fondly. After a bit of mediation, Kagome spoke, "Rin-chan, I am going to practice my archery, okay?"
"Okay, Kagome-chan. Can Rin come with you?" Rin's brown eyes sparkled with hope.
Kagome sadly shook her head. "Gomen, Rin-chan, I don't want you to get hurt if I happen to have an accident of sorts," the priestess explained.
The light flickered in Rin's eyes for a fraction of a moment before re- igniting to an even brighter degree. "Okay, Kagome-chan! Rin can go and bug Jaken-sama!" With another little giggle Rin pattered off to find the "bug eating" Jaken.
Kagome smiled after the girl. Really, she could just be overwhelmingly cute at times. What happened just now happened to be one of those times. Heaving a contented sigh, Kagome proceeded to the dojo, where the weaponry was stored. She opened the door to find Sesshoumaru brandishing a long sword. He seemed to be fighting some unknown, unseen enemy. Beads of sweat trickled down his lean, unclothed chest and arms. The muscles of his upper body rippled with each graceful, arching sweep of the blade.
Suddenly Kagome shook herself, blushing dreadfully. 'What _am_ I doing?!?' she thought, panicking slightly. 'I am _not_ going for him!' She shook her head, as if to dispel her pondering. Resolutely she stepped in and picked up the bow and arrows from the other night. Without so much as a glance at the practicing demon, Kagome left the dojo.
After making sure the priestess was gone, Sesshoumaru stopped his training. His sweaty chest heaved up and down from exertion, and he panted in a manner not unlike a dog, with his tongue hanging out slightly. He stood there, the sword balanced on its tip, his clawed fingers gently supporting the hilt. He placed the sword back on a rack on the wall and strode over to a small bench, where his attire lay neatly folded. He dressed quickly and, using his nose, followed the scent of the priestess.
His keen sense of smell led him outdoors to the training grounds. He silently stood there behind the shelter of a few flowering bushes, watching her shoot arrow after arrow after arrow. Her skill and grace with the weapon still amazed him. He saw her stiffen and drop her bow to her side. Her face was unreadable.
"I know you are there, Sesshoumaru," she called flatly.
Knowing it was no good hiding from her, the demon revealed himself to her. He folded his arms across his chest and studied her intently. She refused to look at him.
"To what do I owe this great honor?" she asked, sarcasm once more spiking her voice.
Sesshoumaru involuntarily bristled. "Do not use that tone of voice with me, wench," he snapped back.
Kagome had been having a fairly good day up until that point. Besides the incident with that strange demon, she'd had fun with Rin. And now this arrogant dog demon had to spoil it for her! Yes, she was pissed. She definitely did _not_ like the thoughts that would float through her mind every time she saw him. After each run in, she'd strive to convince herself that she still hated him and always would, but each attempt proved less and less convincing with each passing second. And so, confused, she turned her frustration on the cause of it all. Sesshoumaru. That tall, proud demon that stood before her.
"What tone of voice?" she asked in feigned innocence, "I haven't said anything rude or the like."
The demon lord growled. "Don't play games with me, wench. In every game that I've ever played in, I've always emerged the victor, and the loser has always died by my hands."
Kagome quirked an eyebrow. "Well if that's the case, then I don't intend to lose."
Sesshoumaru hid a smirk. "But I, Sesshoumaru, have _never_ lost. And know, wench, I don't intend to break my record."
'Yes,' he thought crisply, 'I will most definitely win this game.'
Kagome eyed the demon warily. "We shall see," was all she said. With practiced care, she lifted the bow and notched an arrow, aiming for the target. She resumed her shooting session. As she released yet another arrow, a strange expression crossed her face. Sesshoumaru raised an eyebrow at her. With a gasp she hurriedly left for the castle, slinging the bow across her chest and not acknowledging the demon lord's presence as she left. Sesshoumaru glared after her. 'He's here,' he thought darkly.
Kagome scurried through the labyrinth of hallways, her mind whirling dizzily. 'He's here. . . he's finally here!' was the only seemingly coherent thought in her mind. Her heart pounded in eager anticipation, and she slightly panted with the effort of running. Honestly, she seriously needed to get out of this place! But then. . .
How would Rin react? To Kagome, Rin was the embodiment of innocence, something so extremely hard to find these days. And Kagome cherished that innocence in Rin. It was what had made her so endearing. Kagome's heart lurched as her mind supplied a picture of Rin on the floor, weeping. Perhaps she could take Rin back with her to her village? Would Sesshoumaru mind? Probably.
Kagome stopped to catch her breath behind a corner. And that's when she heard him. His voice. Gruff, but caring. Just like she remembered.
Deciding to be playful, Kagome hid behind the corner, controlling her breath. She withdrew her aura to make detection harder for the half demon. She bit back a squeal when he poked his silver topped head into the hallway. His eyes flicked one way, then the other. Kagome was just about to rush out and hug him when he walked into the open, holding the hand of. . . Kikyou.
Kagome pressed her back against the hidden section of the wall, eyes welling up with tears and lips trembling. 'Inuyasha. . . how could you?!?' Her breath came in ragged gasps and her heart squeezed painfully in her chest.
"Where do we go now, Inuyasha?" asked Kikyou, now at the youthful age of twenty-one.
"Well, where else, Kikyou? We find my half brother!" the half demon replied with a derisive snort. Suddenly he froze, his sensitive nose quivering. "I smell. . ." 'Kagome. . . ?'
Kagome had fled. As fast as her legs could carry her. Anywhere. Away. Away from him, from the hurt he had inadvertently caused. Bitter, silent tears fell from her eyes, leaving a sparkling trail of water droplets on the floor. Her mind spun in erratic, endless cycles, chanting the same words over and over again: 'I thought you loved me!'
Once in the safety of the back gardens, Kagome knelt into the soft, springy turf, struggling to regain her self control and poise. It would most definitely _not_ do for the demon lord to see her in this condition. So far she had shown him the exterior, the cool, detached priestess that she was. He had not seen the other side of her, the side that yearned to love and be loved in return, the side that overflowed with joy at Rin's every smile, the side that wanted to protect Rin's innocence from every corruption of the world. At least, she hoped he hadn't seen it.
She used the familiar feeling of hate towards Sesshoumaru to make her self- control increase. But it wasn't hate any longer. It had transformed. Now, it was more akin to dislike and confusion. Yet the simple image of the demon lord was enough to pull her wits together. She wiped the tear streaks off her face with the sleeve of her kimono and schooled her face into a neutral expression. She knew she would have to face Inuyasha sooner or later, so why not now, when she still had her composure?
With deliberate steps, Kagome re-entered the castle. She would face him. Even if her heart was already shattered by what she saw. She would go and confront him, one-on-one, say what she had on her mind, and drop him out of her life forever. Oh yes, she would have regrets, but this decision she instinctively knew was for the better.
She found Inuyasha with his previous girlfriend, Kikyou, in the main hallway, speaking with Sesshoumaru. Rin stood near the demon lord, intently studying the two people. One she remembered from his past visits, the other was new to her. Jaken stood behind Sesshoumaru, silent as he watched the repeated proceedings.
Kikyou stood, proud and straight, just as Inuyasha had described her. She was a beautiful person; her features were perfectly proportioned with her delicately shaped face. She wore the traditional priestess outfit, and carried a bow and a quiver of arrows over her shoulders. A hand was entwined with the half demon's. Both she and the half demon shot loving glances at the other.
Kagome had arrived just as the two demons nodded heads with each other, signifying the end of the couple's visit. The teen steeled her will and called, "Inuyasha."
The half demon froze, ears twisting towards the sound of her voice. All eyes focused on her, and Kagome felt her resolve quaver. Yet she stood firm.
"Kagome?" asked Inuyasha timidly, as if he had been a child caught disobeying his parent's rules. His gold eyes dilated slightly in alarm, and he visibly tensed. Kikyou rubbed her free hand on his shoulder, calming him down.
All the words that she had wanted to say died on her lips and her throat constricted, making any speech impossible for her. Even though her face was smooth and calm, her eyes revealed her inner turmoil. 'How could you do this to me?' her eyes asked, pleading, demanding an answer.
Inuyasha ducked his head. "Fancy meeting you here, Kagome," he said tersely, lifting his head but not meeting her eyes.
Kagome nearly broke down. Yet she held herself together by sheer will power. "The same to you, Inuyasha," she replied in a monotone voice. Her gaze switched to Kikyou, who also wore an expressionless mask. Yet Kagome could plainly see the jealousy that burned in her eyes. "A pleasure meeting you, Kikyou. Inuyasha has told me much about you."
Kikyou responded in kind. "The pleasure is all mine, Kagome." Her lips curved in a faint smile that never reached her eyes.
Suddenly the tension was too much for Kagome. She excused herself and retreated to the comforting embrace of nature. The priestess sat quietly in the back gardens, under a towering sakura tree. Only then did she allow herself to cry. She pressed against the trunk, finding small comfort in the solidity of the tree.
Rin had left. Gone, to the meadows, eager to pluck flowers. Jaken had been sent to watch her. Sesshoumaru, with his hands free, stood from afar, watching the priestess weep. He sensed the swirl of her emotions quite keenly. Yet there were too many for him to decipher. Pain. Anger. Betrayal. Frustration. Humiliation. Sorrow. Embarrassment. Dejection. Shame. Longing. Wanting. Needing. Hatred. Love. The list went on and on. So, rather than give himself a headache trying to label each feeling, Sesshoumaru delved into her mind. All demons had telepathic capabilities. It was only a matter of whether or not one utilized that ability. Most demons, especially the lower kinds, had no idea they even possessed that trait. Even his half-wit half brother had some, although, in Sesshoumaru's mind, he was probably incapable of using it. And then there were the exceptions, such as this puny human girl that sat sobbing against a tree before him.
As he used his mind's eye to gaze into her hers, he found a memory of hers that repeated over and over again.
*Kagome's flashback*
"Kagome."
"Yes, Inuyasha?"
A blush. "I. . . you're. . . you're beautiful, Kagome. . . you remind me. . . of Kikyou."
Surprise. "Really? Was she a friend of yours?"
A pause. Hesitation. "Yes, a really good friend."
A giggle. "I'll take that as a compliment."
A low, contented growl. "I'll protect you for ever, Kagome. I promise."
A happy sigh. "I believe you will, Inuyasha."
A hug. "I love you, Kagome."
A swift, chaste peck on the lips. "And I you, Inuyasha."
*End flashback*
Kagome's mind reeled. Back then, she had not known the underlying implications of his words. But now they came back and whip lashed her full force, a harsh, cruel stab at her heart. 'He took me. . . because I resembled his _girlfriend_. . . or rather, _ex-girlfriend_, Kikyou. . .' She sniffled and rubbed her eyes. 'I was just a replacement all along. . . and I thought he had meant it! I was so stupid for even believing in him! I should have looked into his mind when he said that. Probably images of his wonderful _Kikyou_ were floating through his mind! But _no_! I was too head over heels for him and I respected him too much to do such a thing! Stupid, idiotic me!' Through all the mental ranting a thought crept into her mind. Her stiletto. An end to everything. Even though she quailed at this line of thought, her determination to go through with it became increasingly stronger.
Abruptly she got up and left, heading for her room. Curiously, Sesshoumaru followed her. She had so many secrets, so many puzzles that ate away at him. Sesshoumaru had read the thoughts that were flowing through her mind and didn't like them.
'But perhaps,' he reasoned, 'She has more sense than all those others. She certainly is better, considering how she responded to my test.'
She entered the room and closed the door. Then she checked the windows to ensure they were shut. Heaving a deep breath, she drew the knife from her obi and unsheathed it.
She felt as though there were no point in going on. Before, Inuyasha's love was all that had sustained her. Now that it was gone, there was nothing to support her. Even though her mother and brother were there, only Inuyasha understood her the way she wanted to be understood. Her mother and brother never had the enormous responsibility of guarding the Shikon no Tama, much less what it took to be a priestess. Inuyasha had, before Kikyou, lusted after the jewel. He knew how it drew demons from everywhere. And that was why Kikyou had left it with another priestess and traveled abroad, studying nature and dumping Inuyasha in the process. Kikyou, then nineteen, couldn't stand the pressure.
The Shikon no Tama was passed about, until it lay in the hands of Kagome's mentor. After she had passed away, the Shikon no Tama was handed over to Kagome to guard at the tender age of fifteen. Now, she, like Kikyou, wanted to throw it away. Slowly, Kagome was cracking under the pressure.
Sesshoumaru, standing outside her door, read this train of thoughts in her mind. He felt pity towards the girl for having to carry such a burden at such a young age. However his blood froze when his sensitive ears picked up the next few words she uttered.
"The Shikon no Tama be damned," she whispered as she skillfully twirled the blade in her cold, numbing hands. She closed her eyes as she sent a final prayer to her family and sent the dagger on a deadly arc towards her heart.
The throbbing pain never came. Kagome pried an eye open to see the tip hovering above her breast, a clawed hand latched tightly onto her wrist. Her eyes traveled up the arm to the owner. White silk sleeves. Abundant silver hair. Cool amber eyes. Kagome paled. 'Kami, please don't let it be. . .' Sesshoumaru.
"What did you think you were doing, wench?" he growled. She couldn't! Not now! Not when so many answers regarding her lay unanswered!
Anger surged in Kagome's blood and she viciously yanked the knife towards her unprotected chest.
~*~*~*~
FT: Konnichiwa, minna-san! CLIFFY!!!!
Sesshoumaru: *eagerly* So the wench dies?
Kagome: *whacks Sesshoumaru on the head* The hell I'm not going to!
Sesshoumaru: Well, you dying, wench, will make my life _so_ much easier!
Kagome: *snidely* And what of Rin?
Sesshoumaru: . . .
FT: Um, anyways, review! ^_^;;; *hides from angry mob of reviewers*
~*~*~*~
Author's Note: I love you guys! Really I do! To Sith, domo arigatou gozimasu for staying with me from the start! I promise there is some Sesshoumaru x Kagome fluff in the next chappie, plus a surprise in this one! XP I think I've emphasized enough how much they are supposed to dislike each other and how unconsciously they are starting to soften on one another. So, this one's for you, Sith! *hug* ^_^ Oh, and also (to those that care). . . I will be continuing Uncovering Humanity. . . Chapter 1 is already underway!
"___" = Dialogue
'___' = Thoughts
*___* = Special 'stuff'
Conflicting Desires
By Forsaken Tenshi
Chapter 6: The Newcomers
Later Kagome and Rin rinsed their hair in the bathroom and toweled their hair dry. By now Kagome's wounds had healed due to her special abilities and she was able to move about without the slightest amount of pain. Rin twiddled a short curl with her fingers, marveling its softness. She turned bright eyes on the priestess, who was combing her fingers through her waist length hair.
"Arigatou, Kagome-chan!" the eight year old piped with a large gap toothed smile.
"You are welcome, Rin-chan," replied Kagome affectionately. Kagome dressed into another silk kimono. This particular one consisted of a plain light pink kimono with a crimson obi. Honestly, she needed to get more priestess outfits! She couldn't fight demons in these clothes! She would talk to the dog demon later. "Would you like to show me your drawings now, Rin- chan?" she asked after she had finished pinning up her hair.
"Sure!" giggled the girl, grabbing the teen's hand and rushing off into the halls, Kagome in tow. They arrived at Rin's room, a spacious bedchamber with large, red curtained windows. In a corner stood a low table, on which untidy piles of paper, scattered brushes, assorted ink dishes, and blocks of black ink lay. Rin scuttled over to the table and grabbed a picture, hopping up and down with the paper in her chubby hands. Kagome walked over and gently took the drawing from the excited Rin. The picture was comprised of stick figures, yet she could tell who was who. There was Sesshoumaru, the tallest figure with a mass of hair. Then there was herself, standing next to Sesshoumaru, hair painted black and a smile on her face. There was Rin, who had the biggest smile of the group. Jaken was also in the picture; he stood solemnly with the Staff of Heads in his hand.
"It's beautiful, Rin-chan," complimented Kagome. Rin's reaction was a bright blush and an embarrassed giggle that made the shrine maiden's heart melt.
"Arigatou, Kagome-chan!"
Kagome regarded the hyperactive child fondly. After a bit of mediation, Kagome spoke, "Rin-chan, I am going to practice my archery, okay?"
"Okay, Kagome-chan. Can Rin come with you?" Rin's brown eyes sparkled with hope.
Kagome sadly shook her head. "Gomen, Rin-chan, I don't want you to get hurt if I happen to have an accident of sorts," the priestess explained.
The light flickered in Rin's eyes for a fraction of a moment before re- igniting to an even brighter degree. "Okay, Kagome-chan! Rin can go and bug Jaken-sama!" With another little giggle Rin pattered off to find the "bug eating" Jaken.
Kagome smiled after the girl. Really, she could just be overwhelmingly cute at times. What happened just now happened to be one of those times. Heaving a contented sigh, Kagome proceeded to the dojo, where the weaponry was stored. She opened the door to find Sesshoumaru brandishing a long sword. He seemed to be fighting some unknown, unseen enemy. Beads of sweat trickled down his lean, unclothed chest and arms. The muscles of his upper body rippled with each graceful, arching sweep of the blade.
Suddenly Kagome shook herself, blushing dreadfully. 'What _am_ I doing?!?' she thought, panicking slightly. 'I am _not_ going for him!' She shook her head, as if to dispel her pondering. Resolutely she stepped in and picked up the bow and arrows from the other night. Without so much as a glance at the practicing demon, Kagome left the dojo.
After making sure the priestess was gone, Sesshoumaru stopped his training. His sweaty chest heaved up and down from exertion, and he panted in a manner not unlike a dog, with his tongue hanging out slightly. He stood there, the sword balanced on its tip, his clawed fingers gently supporting the hilt. He placed the sword back on a rack on the wall and strode over to a small bench, where his attire lay neatly folded. He dressed quickly and, using his nose, followed the scent of the priestess.
His keen sense of smell led him outdoors to the training grounds. He silently stood there behind the shelter of a few flowering bushes, watching her shoot arrow after arrow after arrow. Her skill and grace with the weapon still amazed him. He saw her stiffen and drop her bow to her side. Her face was unreadable.
"I know you are there, Sesshoumaru," she called flatly.
Knowing it was no good hiding from her, the demon revealed himself to her. He folded his arms across his chest and studied her intently. She refused to look at him.
"To what do I owe this great honor?" she asked, sarcasm once more spiking her voice.
Sesshoumaru involuntarily bristled. "Do not use that tone of voice with me, wench," he snapped back.
Kagome had been having a fairly good day up until that point. Besides the incident with that strange demon, she'd had fun with Rin. And now this arrogant dog demon had to spoil it for her! Yes, she was pissed. She definitely did _not_ like the thoughts that would float through her mind every time she saw him. After each run in, she'd strive to convince herself that she still hated him and always would, but each attempt proved less and less convincing with each passing second. And so, confused, she turned her frustration on the cause of it all. Sesshoumaru. That tall, proud demon that stood before her.
"What tone of voice?" she asked in feigned innocence, "I haven't said anything rude or the like."
The demon lord growled. "Don't play games with me, wench. In every game that I've ever played in, I've always emerged the victor, and the loser has always died by my hands."
Kagome quirked an eyebrow. "Well if that's the case, then I don't intend to lose."
Sesshoumaru hid a smirk. "But I, Sesshoumaru, have _never_ lost. And know, wench, I don't intend to break my record."
'Yes,' he thought crisply, 'I will most definitely win this game.'
Kagome eyed the demon warily. "We shall see," was all she said. With practiced care, she lifted the bow and notched an arrow, aiming for the target. She resumed her shooting session. As she released yet another arrow, a strange expression crossed her face. Sesshoumaru raised an eyebrow at her. With a gasp she hurriedly left for the castle, slinging the bow across her chest and not acknowledging the demon lord's presence as she left. Sesshoumaru glared after her. 'He's here,' he thought darkly.
Kagome scurried through the labyrinth of hallways, her mind whirling dizzily. 'He's here. . . he's finally here!' was the only seemingly coherent thought in her mind. Her heart pounded in eager anticipation, and she slightly panted with the effort of running. Honestly, she seriously needed to get out of this place! But then. . .
How would Rin react? To Kagome, Rin was the embodiment of innocence, something so extremely hard to find these days. And Kagome cherished that innocence in Rin. It was what had made her so endearing. Kagome's heart lurched as her mind supplied a picture of Rin on the floor, weeping. Perhaps she could take Rin back with her to her village? Would Sesshoumaru mind? Probably.
Kagome stopped to catch her breath behind a corner. And that's when she heard him. His voice. Gruff, but caring. Just like she remembered.
Deciding to be playful, Kagome hid behind the corner, controlling her breath. She withdrew her aura to make detection harder for the half demon. She bit back a squeal when he poked his silver topped head into the hallway. His eyes flicked one way, then the other. Kagome was just about to rush out and hug him when he walked into the open, holding the hand of. . . Kikyou.
Kagome pressed her back against the hidden section of the wall, eyes welling up with tears and lips trembling. 'Inuyasha. . . how could you?!?' Her breath came in ragged gasps and her heart squeezed painfully in her chest.
"Where do we go now, Inuyasha?" asked Kikyou, now at the youthful age of twenty-one.
"Well, where else, Kikyou? We find my half brother!" the half demon replied with a derisive snort. Suddenly he froze, his sensitive nose quivering. "I smell. . ." 'Kagome. . . ?'
Kagome had fled. As fast as her legs could carry her. Anywhere. Away. Away from him, from the hurt he had inadvertently caused. Bitter, silent tears fell from her eyes, leaving a sparkling trail of water droplets on the floor. Her mind spun in erratic, endless cycles, chanting the same words over and over again: 'I thought you loved me!'
Once in the safety of the back gardens, Kagome knelt into the soft, springy turf, struggling to regain her self control and poise. It would most definitely _not_ do for the demon lord to see her in this condition. So far she had shown him the exterior, the cool, detached priestess that she was. He had not seen the other side of her, the side that yearned to love and be loved in return, the side that overflowed with joy at Rin's every smile, the side that wanted to protect Rin's innocence from every corruption of the world. At least, she hoped he hadn't seen it.
She used the familiar feeling of hate towards Sesshoumaru to make her self- control increase. But it wasn't hate any longer. It had transformed. Now, it was more akin to dislike and confusion. Yet the simple image of the demon lord was enough to pull her wits together. She wiped the tear streaks off her face with the sleeve of her kimono and schooled her face into a neutral expression. She knew she would have to face Inuyasha sooner or later, so why not now, when she still had her composure?
With deliberate steps, Kagome re-entered the castle. She would face him. Even if her heart was already shattered by what she saw. She would go and confront him, one-on-one, say what she had on her mind, and drop him out of her life forever. Oh yes, she would have regrets, but this decision she instinctively knew was for the better.
She found Inuyasha with his previous girlfriend, Kikyou, in the main hallway, speaking with Sesshoumaru. Rin stood near the demon lord, intently studying the two people. One she remembered from his past visits, the other was new to her. Jaken stood behind Sesshoumaru, silent as he watched the repeated proceedings.
Kikyou stood, proud and straight, just as Inuyasha had described her. She was a beautiful person; her features were perfectly proportioned with her delicately shaped face. She wore the traditional priestess outfit, and carried a bow and a quiver of arrows over her shoulders. A hand was entwined with the half demon's. Both she and the half demon shot loving glances at the other.
Kagome had arrived just as the two demons nodded heads with each other, signifying the end of the couple's visit. The teen steeled her will and called, "Inuyasha."
The half demon froze, ears twisting towards the sound of her voice. All eyes focused on her, and Kagome felt her resolve quaver. Yet she stood firm.
"Kagome?" asked Inuyasha timidly, as if he had been a child caught disobeying his parent's rules. His gold eyes dilated slightly in alarm, and he visibly tensed. Kikyou rubbed her free hand on his shoulder, calming him down.
All the words that she had wanted to say died on her lips and her throat constricted, making any speech impossible for her. Even though her face was smooth and calm, her eyes revealed her inner turmoil. 'How could you do this to me?' her eyes asked, pleading, demanding an answer.
Inuyasha ducked his head. "Fancy meeting you here, Kagome," he said tersely, lifting his head but not meeting her eyes.
Kagome nearly broke down. Yet she held herself together by sheer will power. "The same to you, Inuyasha," she replied in a monotone voice. Her gaze switched to Kikyou, who also wore an expressionless mask. Yet Kagome could plainly see the jealousy that burned in her eyes. "A pleasure meeting you, Kikyou. Inuyasha has told me much about you."
Kikyou responded in kind. "The pleasure is all mine, Kagome." Her lips curved in a faint smile that never reached her eyes.
Suddenly the tension was too much for Kagome. She excused herself and retreated to the comforting embrace of nature. The priestess sat quietly in the back gardens, under a towering sakura tree. Only then did she allow herself to cry. She pressed against the trunk, finding small comfort in the solidity of the tree.
Rin had left. Gone, to the meadows, eager to pluck flowers. Jaken had been sent to watch her. Sesshoumaru, with his hands free, stood from afar, watching the priestess weep. He sensed the swirl of her emotions quite keenly. Yet there were too many for him to decipher. Pain. Anger. Betrayal. Frustration. Humiliation. Sorrow. Embarrassment. Dejection. Shame. Longing. Wanting. Needing. Hatred. Love. The list went on and on. So, rather than give himself a headache trying to label each feeling, Sesshoumaru delved into her mind. All demons had telepathic capabilities. It was only a matter of whether or not one utilized that ability. Most demons, especially the lower kinds, had no idea they even possessed that trait. Even his half-wit half brother had some, although, in Sesshoumaru's mind, he was probably incapable of using it. And then there were the exceptions, such as this puny human girl that sat sobbing against a tree before him.
As he used his mind's eye to gaze into her hers, he found a memory of hers that repeated over and over again.
*Kagome's flashback*
"Kagome."
"Yes, Inuyasha?"
A blush. "I. . . you're. . . you're beautiful, Kagome. . . you remind me. . . of Kikyou."
Surprise. "Really? Was she a friend of yours?"
A pause. Hesitation. "Yes, a really good friend."
A giggle. "I'll take that as a compliment."
A low, contented growl. "I'll protect you for ever, Kagome. I promise."
A happy sigh. "I believe you will, Inuyasha."
A hug. "I love you, Kagome."
A swift, chaste peck on the lips. "And I you, Inuyasha."
*End flashback*
Kagome's mind reeled. Back then, she had not known the underlying implications of his words. But now they came back and whip lashed her full force, a harsh, cruel stab at her heart. 'He took me. . . because I resembled his _girlfriend_. . . or rather, _ex-girlfriend_, Kikyou. . .' She sniffled and rubbed her eyes. 'I was just a replacement all along. . . and I thought he had meant it! I was so stupid for even believing in him! I should have looked into his mind when he said that. Probably images of his wonderful _Kikyou_ were floating through his mind! But _no_! I was too head over heels for him and I respected him too much to do such a thing! Stupid, idiotic me!' Through all the mental ranting a thought crept into her mind. Her stiletto. An end to everything. Even though she quailed at this line of thought, her determination to go through with it became increasingly stronger.
Abruptly she got up and left, heading for her room. Curiously, Sesshoumaru followed her. She had so many secrets, so many puzzles that ate away at him. Sesshoumaru had read the thoughts that were flowing through her mind and didn't like them.
'But perhaps,' he reasoned, 'She has more sense than all those others. She certainly is better, considering how she responded to my test.'
She entered the room and closed the door. Then she checked the windows to ensure they were shut. Heaving a deep breath, she drew the knife from her obi and unsheathed it.
She felt as though there were no point in going on. Before, Inuyasha's love was all that had sustained her. Now that it was gone, there was nothing to support her. Even though her mother and brother were there, only Inuyasha understood her the way she wanted to be understood. Her mother and brother never had the enormous responsibility of guarding the Shikon no Tama, much less what it took to be a priestess. Inuyasha had, before Kikyou, lusted after the jewel. He knew how it drew demons from everywhere. And that was why Kikyou had left it with another priestess and traveled abroad, studying nature and dumping Inuyasha in the process. Kikyou, then nineteen, couldn't stand the pressure.
The Shikon no Tama was passed about, until it lay in the hands of Kagome's mentor. After she had passed away, the Shikon no Tama was handed over to Kagome to guard at the tender age of fifteen. Now, she, like Kikyou, wanted to throw it away. Slowly, Kagome was cracking under the pressure.
Sesshoumaru, standing outside her door, read this train of thoughts in her mind. He felt pity towards the girl for having to carry such a burden at such a young age. However his blood froze when his sensitive ears picked up the next few words she uttered.
"The Shikon no Tama be damned," she whispered as she skillfully twirled the blade in her cold, numbing hands. She closed her eyes as she sent a final prayer to her family and sent the dagger on a deadly arc towards her heart.
The throbbing pain never came. Kagome pried an eye open to see the tip hovering above her breast, a clawed hand latched tightly onto her wrist. Her eyes traveled up the arm to the owner. White silk sleeves. Abundant silver hair. Cool amber eyes. Kagome paled. 'Kami, please don't let it be. . .' Sesshoumaru.
"What did you think you were doing, wench?" he growled. She couldn't! Not now! Not when so many answers regarding her lay unanswered!
Anger surged in Kagome's blood and she viciously yanked the knife towards her unprotected chest.
~*~*~*~
FT: Konnichiwa, minna-san! CLIFFY!!!!
Sesshoumaru: *eagerly* So the wench dies?
Kagome: *whacks Sesshoumaru on the head* The hell I'm not going to!
Sesshoumaru: Well, you dying, wench, will make my life _so_ much easier!
Kagome: *snidely* And what of Rin?
Sesshoumaru: . . .
FT: Um, anyways, review! ^_^;;; *hides from angry mob of reviewers*
~*~*~*~