Nadako: Whee! I'm Back!
Seto: You were away?
Nadako: For a bit...
Seto: *blink*
Nadako: XD Gomen-nasai sdrive! I just started nineth grade this year, and the teachers are tougher than ever... ¬¬ I need to work hard so I can pass the provincals this year and head towards High School! XD
Seto: Lame excuse...
Nadako: -BONK- *holds up meat mallet*
Seto: +.+
Mikalai: You know hikari... You'll lose more casts that way...
Nadako: ^^ I know...it's just so fun to torture them though!
Mikalai: *shakes head* =_=
Disclaimers:
Bakura: *hides* No way in hell are you going to stuff me at that palace again!
Malik: *walks behind Bakura*.....*kicks him*
Bakura: *flies off* O_O
Malik: XD
Bakura: -THUMP-...@.@ Where am I?
Disclaimer1: *blink* Oh why, it's nice to see you again Bakura-san!
Bakura: O.O *runs* NOOOO! *crashes into locked door*... Nadako does not own Yugioh... *door opens* =.= *runs out*
Bakura's Annoyed- What Will He Do?
Chapter 4: FOOD EQUATIONS! Keep the liquor away!
By: Nadako-Mika
Bakura huddled in a corner of the living room, obviously frightened. He jumped at every noise. When the crowd cheered in the football game on television, he fell onto the ground face first, covering his head as if expecting an earthquake or hail storm. When Anzu yelled furiously because she couldn't get any shopping done online, he squealed like a mouse and scampered up the wall. He was...paranoid...
"I'm okay...I'm okay..." he kept repeating to himself, "I'm not frightened, the great tomb robber is never frightened..NEVER! MWUAHAHA-" ¬¬ You're suppose to be frightened right now... "Oh..."
He was headed towards the kitchen to get a drink when the door bell suddenly rang through out the house. Bakura, still paranoid, bolted up the stairs from the sudden noise. He ran into his Ryou's room and locked himself in his hikari's closet. He panted as his eyes darted around the darkness.
"*laughs uneasily* Nothing can get me now...NOTHING!"
Bakura screamed girlishly as the doors of the closet were flung open. Mariku covered his ears from the horrible noise.
"..AHHHHH~HHH! *gasp gasp* AAHHHH- *muffled*"
"GEEZE Tomb Robber! You thinking of becoming a fire alarm or something?" Marik yelled as he muffled Bakura's cries.
"*pant pant*...*pant*...Oh its only you...*sighs*"
"*nod nod* I came up here when I saw you bolt up the stairs as the bell rang," Marik explained, "What's up with you? First you duck for cover as the television cheers. Then you squeak and ran into the wall when Anzu yelled out. And now...you're hiding in a closet?"
Bakura grumbled.
"I think you need to see a psychiatrist..." he noted the murderous look on the other's face, "..Or..maybe you should read a book on how to...eh.. 'Get Better'."
The tomb robber thought for a moment. Psychiatrist? Should he go see one? Nah...the person would just be killed in a matter of seconds. Anger problem...he had an anger problem, and would kill anyone that pissed him off. An idea struck Bakura (surprisingly).
"The Big Blue Book Of Anger Management!" He called out happily.
Marik blinked and stared dumbly. "What are...you talking about?"
Bakura darted out the room, almost skipping...happily. He came back in the same manner and held in his hands the oh so brilliant book. He leaned in on Marik. "PsSt...can you keep a secret?" he whispered suspicously.
Marik edged away slightly. Maybe Bakura's gone psychotic again. "Uh..Yeah, I guess so," he answered cautiously. The Egyptian boy shuddered as he saw Bakura grin widely. This didn't happen any day of the week...
"Great!" Bakura exclaimed. He thrust the heavy book into Marik's hands. "This...might help!"
"Help...what?"
"Everything!" Bakura's smile brightened, "Just name a problem and look it up in the table of contents or index!"
Marik open the book and landed on the page index. He searched for his 'problem', then shuffled through the pages trying to find the chapter. He suddenly stopped and seemed to be reading. Bakura slowly peered over the yami's shoulder.
Lesson 7: Simple Equations
Though this lesson may seem boring, it is actually quite important...if you want to survive. *scary music*....*cough* Alright, anyways.... Through out this lesson we will be looking at hikari+food combinations. It is important to know the reactions of the foods eaten by a hikari, as it may be deadly...or just annoying. The following chart gives a brief outline of common reactions from everday foods:
Food............................Reactions
Broccoli......................Healthy Hikari
Carrots.......................Healthy Hikari
Celery........................Healthy Hikari
Anything Baked................Happy Hikari
Take-out......................No Effect
Caffiene......................Long Night Ahead of You
Hard Candy...................Headache (yours, not your hikari's)
Gum..........................Loud Popping noises
Liquor.......................Good Luck....You'll need it
"*blink* Marik...?"
"Yes?"
"What exactly were you looking for?"
"I was trying to find a cure for a sugar crazed Malik..." Marik explained.
As you can see from the chart, anything containing sugar or alcohol results in a bad reaction. And anything containing wel...nothing but natural foods, results in a peaceful day. Now, why don't we try out some of equations with this table? Just answer the questions to the best of your ability. The answers are on the next page.
1. Hikari + Broccoli (don't cheat! The answers are in the chart dimwitt!)
"Hikari eating Broccoli makes a Healthy Hikari!" the two yamis said in unison.
Very good! Now for the second question.
2. Hikari + Take-Out
"Oh Gee... That's a tough one..." Marik said. He earned a smack in the head by Bakura.
"You Dumbass! The answers are in the chart! Hikari eating Take-Out has NO EFFECT!" Bakura said.
Alright. This seems easy doesn't it? Well lets take it to the next level then. Each question will be of a combination of foods. And you have to predict, to the best of your abilitly, what may happen. This is going to be a multiple-choice quiz, so get out writing material. Do you understand? Yes? No? Yes? Good. Let's begin:
1. Hikari + Caffiene + Hard Candy=
(a) You sleeping through the night and ignoring your huge headache
(b) Banging your head against the wall throughout the night
(c) No Effect
2. Hikari + Baked Goods + Carrots=
(a) Dead Hikari
(b) Carrot Cake and Happy Hikari
(c) No Effect
3. Hikari + Gum + Hard Candy=
(a) Headache from Chewing sound and Candy effects
(b) Choking Hikari
(c) No Effect
4. Hikari + Liquor + Hard Candy + Caffiene=
(a) PARTY!
(b) You talking to yourself
(c) No Effect
"You got all the answers down?" Bakura asked his companion.
"*nod nod* You can flip the page now."
Alright! You have finished the little quiz. Your score will determine if you will live long enough to see the next sun or not. The answers are as follows:
1. answer: (b)
If you chose (a)...You're lucky to be able to sleep through the noise...
2. answer: (b)
If you chose the other answers...you're a complete idiot!
3. answer: (b)
For those of you who chose (a)...you're on the right track, but think about how a hikari is suppose to chew gum with candy in his mouth. he'd choke on the gum while trying to swallow the candy!
4. answer: (b)
You'd become insane with all the commotion!
"What did you get?" Marik asked Bakura.
"Three out of four... you?"
"One out of four."
Test Scores:
1 out of 4: You need help...You need to hide the chocolate and sugar from your hikari!
2 out of 4: *shakes head* You try to stop your hikari...but just hiding the candy won't help...you have to FORCEFULLY stop him!
3 out of 4: You're alright. You definitely have some control over your hikari.
4 out of 4: WHOO! You are in complete control of your hikari's diet! Congrats! You will die soon for your hikari is getting tired of your rules. He'll use his Hikari Powers on you VERY soon! Give me a call when you're about to die!
That ends our lesson for today!
"*blink* That was strange... Where did you get this book anyways?"
"Eh..I stole it from the market."
"^^;; Wait 'til I tell Yami about this book! I'm sure he'd like to use it! He always said something about his hikari being...well..hyper I think or was it drunk?"
Bakura waved his arms around furiously, "NO NO NO! You must NOT tell anyone else about this book! It can...It can be..our little secret..." He said.
Marik blinked in confusion, "Why don't you want others to know?"
"Do you know how BAD it would look if you were caught reading a book on ANGER MANAGEMENT?!"
"Yeah...I guess..."
*sniff sniff*
"Bakura?..."
*sniff sniff*
"What...are you doing?"
*sniff sniff* " I smell food.... I smell...PEPPERONI PIZZA!!! WHOO HOO!" he dashed down the stairs and almost crashed into his hikari, who just paid the delivery boy for the pizza. "Pizza! GIMME GIMME!"
"Gimme Gimme Never Get. Don't you know your manners yet?" Yami mocked as he opened on of the boxes. He twitched angerly as he saw the pizza. "GAHH! Green Peppers! THOSE EVIL EVIL PEOPLE!" He opened the other boxes and found the exact same thing. "*growl* They did this on purpose! I know they did! They're mocking me...they put red peppers on purpose too!"
A light snickering was heard out the kitchen window. All heads turned towards the direction of the sound. The delivery boy was sitting outside watching the scene. He stopped laughing as he felt eyes glaring into him. "Ah-haha- Huh?....OH shoot!" He dashed off.
Yami immediately bolted out the door. "I'll get you delivery boy! I'll get you if it's the last thing I do!!!"
----------------------
When Yami had gotten back from his Delivery Boy Hunt, everything started to settle down. Everyone, except Anzu who was still on the shopping site, was settled down watching a movie. There were occasional shouts of frustration from Anzu. They were watching an old horror movie. It had the usual plot, some demon was ressurected and only a few kids could save the world from it's destruction. They were getting to the suspenseful part; the pretty girl was being stupid and decided to head down to the dark basement, alone, to check out some creepy noise. She was just opening the door at the bottom of the stairs when...
A sudden bang was heard from outside. Not from the movie. Someone was banging against the door to the Bakura's residence. Bakura nearly had a heart attack when the first bang erupted. He was sweating right now and panting heavily trying to calm his heartbeat.
The group, minus Anzu who was still trying to shop online..., headed towards the front entrance. The hikaris were clutching onto their yami's for dear life.
"Ryou..." came Bakura's unusually cracked voice.
"Malik.." Marik called out.
"Could you please loosen on the grip? You're choking us." they said in unison. Both Malik and Ryou opened their eyes and saw that they were clinging onto their yamis' throats. They quickly slid off their backs and looked at them sheepishly.
"@_@ gah..." came Bakura's response.
"=_=..."
Another loud bang was heard and everyone jumped, again minus Anzu who is oblivious to the world around her. This time, the lock on the door snapped and the door was flung open. Everyone held their breath as the waited for the horrible demon to come after them...(too many horror films neh?) They all fell as they saw Kaiba rush in with his trusty suit case.
"What took so long?" Yami asked.
"Business Meeting," he said quickly, "Ryou, do you have a computer I could use? Preferably with an internet connection?"
Ryou nodded, "In the living room. But Anzu's-" Seto walked on, "-using it..."
They all just stood there, as if waiting for something big to happen. They didn't move until Jounouchi walked to the door and closed it. They heard a furious scream and a loud thud come from the living room. The group quickly rushed to the source of the noise and saw that Seto had pushed Anzu off the computer chair and had taken over the computer. He was now busy typing away on the keyboard and designing new projects for the company. Anzu in the meantime, was trying everything possible to get back onto the computer. Nothing she did worked. She even threatened to use make-up on him, but he didn't budge. Kaiba's eyes were fixed on the the computer screen.
Everyone watched, amused at Anzu's many failed attempts to gain control of the computer.
"Ryou?" Yuugi said, tugging on the taller boy's sleeves, "Do you have anything to drink around here?"
Ryou nodded in response. "There's a few drinks in the fridge if you want to help yourself."
Yuugi nodded and scampered off.
A few minutes into Anzu's Failed Attempts At Control, Yami noticed something missing. He looked around the room. "Where's Yuugi?"
"He went to get a drink," Ryou explained.
Yami's eyes widened, "By himself? Do you have any liquor in there?" he asked hurriedly.
Bakura's eyes widened like yamis. He remembered the chart in The Big Blue Book Of Anger Management. "Oh Crap!" he rushed off into the kitchen after Yami's hikari.
Yuugi was sitting on the kitchen counter, swinging his dangling legs childishly. Beside him was an empty bottle of vodka. His grin widened as he saw Yami...though, his grin was rather...strange...
"Oh no...." Yami groaned as he ran off to hide somewhere in the house.
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Nadako: WHEE! Another chapter finished! Wow...this one was quick! Only took me... 4 hours *tilts head and grins*
Yami: *whimpers*....you actually let Yuugi drink?!
Nadako: *nod nod* afraid so...*pats Yami* Sorry...
Yami: =( Now I have to deal with him at home....*sigh*
Nadako: Would you like to borrow the Big Blue Book of Anger Management? It does wonders!
Yami: *twitches nose* Does it look like I have an anger issue?
Nadako: From that 'Green Peppers' incident...yes.
Yami: *shakes head*
Nadako: *shrugs* Anyways. The next chapter might be a while! I need to think the plot over... And I still have other stories that I need to update ^^;; Review please! Ja!
Arigatou...
firedraygon97- Naw...I didn't make Seto come in all fancy... XD o well. Do I really torture Bakura too much?
Misura- Ah-haha...glad you like it. It felt weird to right that vase part... What do you mean Bakura's past darkened the mood? How did it?
Mihiko- Thanx for the review...and no...Bakura would never be stupid...I don't think so anyways...^^
labyrinth of chaos- ^0^ Yes...torturing Bakura is fun... though its not really torture right now. Just some humilation XD
sdrive- ^_^;; Sorry you had to wait. I got side tracked and was busy for a while. I had to update my other stories too ^^;; Hope you don't mind the wait for the next one...
Saturn Imp- Eh-hehe...Bakura Bashing...I didn't want to do that but..eh...*shrugs* I haven't read your story yet, But I'm going to soon. ^__^