Nadako: Fufoo...
Bakura: ....?
Nadako: *sigh sigh* I'm just going to cut this little A/N short. I have nothing really to say...
Bakura: Wait no! I want to say something!
Nadako: ....alright...
Bakura: ....
Nadako: Well?
Bakura: Huh?
Nadako: You...wanted to say something?
Bakura: uh...
Nadako: *patience waning* well?
Bakura: ^^' You're going to hate me for this but.. I only said that so you would keep the A/N going... I just love it when I get to be the guest speaker here. *grin grin*
Nadako: *twitch*.. alright.. you just wasted my precious time.. OUT OUT OUT! *kicks Bakura*
Bakura: o.o I just hate it when she does that... I always end up in that horrible palace. *soaring through the air*

Palace of Disclaimers:

Bakura: @.@ *dazed*
Disclaimer1: *sigh*.. what did you do this time?
Disclaimer2: *reads note attached to Bakura*.. crap.. I think Nadako-chan wants him to stay here.. *horrified look*
Disclaimer1: No way! This story is centered around him..
Disclaimer2: But what if she decides to change the plot and keep him here?!
Disclaimer1: Then she'd be hunted and killed by all those Bakura fans, and she'd have to change her story title...
Bakura: =.= *large bump on head*....don't tell me.. I'm in the Palace of Disclaimer- *SCREAM*... *sigh*.. who keeps doing that?
Disclaimer2: Doing what?
Bakura: Screaming...
Disclaimer2: What scream?
Bakura: The scream you always hear when you say "Palace of Disclaimers"-
Disclaimer1: *screaming into microphone*
Bakura: *shakes head* Forget it.. I'll just say the disclaimers.... 'Nadako-Mika doesn't own Yugioh' LET ME OUT!
Disclaimer2: Sure thing! *kicks Bakura out the door* XD
Bakura: o_o...



Bakura's Annoyed- What Will He Do?
Chapter 6: Prepare for Battle!
By: Nadako-Mika




"Oh, Yami!"
"No! NO! Stay back! NOO!"

"Eat it!"
"No!"
"Come on, Mariku!"
"No!"
"*frowns*...*sniffle* why-?"
"GET THAT SPOONFUL OF SUGAR AWAY FROM ME, MALIK!"

"*click click* Wow.. that's a nice purse..."
"Yeah. Gold studs and everything."
"Ya think they would break off easily? The large studs I mean..."
"Not sure. Guys like me don't need purses."
"Come one, Kaiba. Just give me your opinion."
"*sigh* Buy it if ou want... Here, I'll add it to the shopping cart."
"^____^"

Bakura sat quietly on the couch, his eyebrows contantly twitching involuntarily. The events surrounding him seemed to hit every nerve in his mind. Yuugi chasing Yami.... Malik trying to stuff his yami full of that toxic substance they humans call 'sugar'.... and Anzu talking in a civilized tongue to Kaiba. His brow twitched again. This was one hell of a party...

The tomb robber sighed as he turned his attention back to the video game his hikari and Jounouchi were playing. The two were absorbed within the game itself; some kart racing game, Bakura wasn't sure of the title. He found it amusing, though, that the object of the game was to race around some weird land in little go-carts that hardly fit the character, and then try to beat your oponent by chucking turtle shells and bombs, eating mushrooms to go faster, or flinging banana peels to slow your oponents. Ryou was currently in the lead.

"Hey! That's not fair! I didn't even see that comin!" Jounouchi complained.

"You weren't suppose to..." Ryou retorted, eyes glued to the television screen.

Bakura soon grew bored of the game. Jounouchi had demanded a rematch five times in the same setting, and each time Ryou beat him again. His eyes darted around the room, desperate to find something to occupy his time. Something large, thick and blue caught his eye. The Big Blue Book of Anger Management! He wondered what lessons the gracious book would enstow upon his little and shrunken mind...

((- Bakura: HEY!
((- Nadako: What?
((- Bakura: Stop insulting me would you?
((- Nadako: ppft.. insulting you? Naw.. I was just stating a true fact!
((- Bakura: *twitch*
((- Nadako: *COUGH* moving along now...

"Let's see.... boredom...boredom..," his finger trailed through the index at the back of the book. "AH-HAH! Lesson 10!" he cried out triumphantly before flipping quickly through the pages.

Lesson 10: Feeling a Little Bored?

Ahh.. so you're bored.. Poor Baby...*sarcastic*. What's the matter? Couldn't find anyone to torture? Couldn't steal the Pharaoh's puzzle? Aww...why not? Is it because the pharaoh's too smart for you? Does your puny brain not function well enough to snatch a simple ornament from around his hikari's neck?

Bakura twitched yet again. This author was really getting on his nerves...

Anyway, that's besides the point. We are gathered here.. er.. no not to marry two couples... but we are gathered to make suggestions on what to do when you (the yami) suddenly grow bored.

1. Run on a Killing Spree

This book does suggest ways to prevent killing.. but only for your hikari. This book will never mention anything about NOT killing other innocent pedestrians. So go torture and torment to your hearts delight! Don't know how or who to kill? Well.. let's...*echoing voice* CONSIDER THE FOLLOWING:

- Killing strangers are a good thing... especially if it's a stranger your hikari doesn't know.. You don't want to be lectured on 'don't you dare kill another innocent mortal' again do you? Didn't think so...

- Consider killing your victim with your claws- huh? what do you mean you don't have claws? Your nails are sharpened enough to be considered claws no?...What do you mean you don't know?! Look at your god-damned nails! Yes... yes.. pointy, it's pointy. Hey, no... don't- *sighs* poke yourself with your nails.. Yes.. I warned you. Now you're bleeding.. go clean up first, then we'll continue the lesson...

Bakura quickly rushed to the bathroom, insearch for the first aid kit. He worked to wrap up his bloodied arm, all the while muttering, "...Ra damned nails.. I should really consider trimming them..."

Welcome back. Now.. your 'claws' would be the best suggestion to killing a victim. Why? Well... it's slow and painful for one.. and don't you just love it when their blood covers your hand? What?! What do you mean 'NO'? I thought you were blood-crazed. *huff* Oh.. you're not a 'vampire'... Well I know what you do to your hikari.. Admit it.. you love blood.. you love your hikari's blood. Don't deny it! Hah! *mocking tone* "That's a different story" my ass.. Alright...moving along...

2. Don't feel like killing?

What do you mean you DON'T FEEL LIKE KILLING?!!? Are you insane?! Wait.. don't asnwer that.. of course you're insane.. *cough* I meant to ask.. ARE YOU SANE?! What kind of a yami wouldn't like to kill? No, you leave the pharaoh out of this! He has enough on his mind. Like what you ask? Well..er..like...like.. Saving the world!

"Feh.. What kind of a yami would want to SAVE the world? We prefer world domination or destruction." Bakura said.

*COUGH* MOVING ALONG! Well. If you don't like killing you could just SIT at home while becoming annoyed at everything that's happening around you. Yes, I do mean those arrogant fools running around your home chasing each other...

Bakura looked up from the book to see Yami dash by, closely pursued by his hikari. As he was lowering his eyes back to the book, another figure raced past. Mariku was being chased by a sugar-crazed hikari...

Don't feel like being annoyed? Well.. SUCK IT UP! You really have no choice. It's either sit and be mad, or go out there and join the festivities. I doubt you would want to help the pharaoh's hikari chase his yami, right?

There's really nothing you (the yami) can do in such a situation. It was your fault to begin with. How so? If I recall correctly, YOU were the one who approved of your hikari's little party. What's that? You say you had no choice? Of course you had a choice! There is such a word as 'No'. HEY- don't argue with me! I'm the all mighty book of anger management! By the powers enstowed upon me...I shall bring forth your hikari and- scared yet? Feh.. alright, that concludes this lesson. Go on and waste your time reading the rest of the book.

Bakura slammed the book shut, eyes filled with furry. The book didn't help much... it just fueled his anger. "So much for Anger Management..." he muttered before chucking the book into the roaring fireplace. Who lit the fire was a mystery, considering the fact that it was a hot summer evening and there was no need for extra heat.

He stood up, looking quite proud of himself when realization dawned on him. If he wanted to keep Ryou alive, he needed that book! Acting quicky without much thought, Bakura reached into the fireplace and yanked the book out of the roaring flames, ignoring the fact that his skin was starting to burn... He sighed in relief when he saw the book had no burns (which was pretty awkward). Suddenly his hands hurt. He looked down to see that his skin was starting to blister and was burned from the fire. Bakura twitched and looked down at the book. How was it that the book, completely composed of wood and paper, not burn.. yet his own skin burned from a moments of exposure to the heat. He shook his head and used the ring to heal his wounds.

'Maybe some coffee will help calm my nerves, you know what they say: A cup of coffee and you won't get lofty!' Bakura blinked, 'Whatever THAT means...'

So the annoyed yami trudged his way to the kitchen, in search of some coffee to rid himself of his...loftiness... He was reaching for the cupboard door when-

"Hi Bakura!" someone called out, clinging itself onto his back.

"Yuugi..." Bakura said, his face painted with annoyance.

"Have you seen Yami?" the boy asked in a honey coated voice. However, Bakura knew the true Yuugi behind that innocent mask. A monster, pure evil.. alright, not so much evil, but he had a highly annoying personality.

"No." Bakura answered in a monotone voice.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"REALLY sure?"

"Of course."

"REALLY, REALLY sure?"

"Why would I know the where abouts of your dear yami?"

"Because you Yamis have all got to stick together!"

"Feh... Yamis? I wouldn't classify YOUR other half as a yami..."

Yuugi only blinked stupidly at that comment. He looked blankly at Bakura, thinking for a moment. "Alright.. Then have you seen my Other Self?"

Bakura's brow twitched once more. He felt a sudden urge to fling the little body clinging onto his neck through the glass windows. "No... now get lost! He's probably hung himself behind the bathroom door again."

Yuugi gave the cutest of smiles and hopped off Bakura, much to the Yami's relief. "=3 Okay!" he said before scurrying off in search for his other self.

Bakura muttered a few egyptian curses towards Yuugi and reached for the cupboard again. He opened it, expecting to find the ground coffee, but instead-

"EEK!" something cried from behind the cupboard door.

"Yami! What the heck are you doing NOW?!" Bakura asked, slightly surprised to see the former pharaoh hiding in the cupboard.

"Hiding from that hikari of mine," Yami answered as he got out of his hiding spot and hopped off the counter. "I swear-"

"You do? *huff* That's surprising"

Yami glared at the other, "I was going to say.. that Yuugi would go to no ends to catch me.."

"Oh YAMI!" a familiar voice called from another room.

"O.O Oh shit! Must run! Must hide!"

Yami started running around in circles, panicking. Bakura couldn't help but snigger, bemused by the pharaoh's sudden behavior. Maybe he should consider that little hikari of Yami's as a possible weapon...

"Where to hide?! Where to hide?!"

"May I suggest," Bakura started amusement filling his voice, "The bathroom door? Hanging yourself was a great way to hide." He sniggered.

But Yami didn't seem to hear Bakura. As soon as he heard Yuugi's footsteps drawing closer, he dashed out of the kitchen and hid under the couch. Bakura only shook his head before turning his attention to the coffe maker.

"Now how do you work this thing?..."

----------------------------------------

"I'll be safe here..." Mariku muttered to himself as he crouched behind a rather large bush. He froze as he saw his sugar-high hikari pass the kitchen window.

He heard snoring behind him and looked back, only to face a fence. 'That's funny... I thought fences didn't snore..I never knew they slept...' he thought stupidly. Then it hit him... maybe there was something BEHIND the fence that was snoring... He peered over the fence, carefully watching the kitchen window incase his hikari walked by again. There was a...

"..A dog.." he stated, venom dripping in his voice.

*sudden drumroll*

Mariku suddenly stood straight up, forgetting about being hidden from his hikari's view. He somehow had quickly changed, for his clothes now consisted of army boots, camaflouged pants and jacket, and a thick war helmet with bits of leaves sticking out of it. He stomped his foot and saluted to no one in particular.

As quickly as he stood, he ducked again, so only his large helmet and his lavender eyes could be seen behind the fence. He glared at the canine and muttered, "Let the battle commence!"

From his jacket pocket he whipped out a notebook and pen. Mariku started to scribble something down...

Battle Log:
War Against Enemy Canine.
Day 1 - 20:14 past midday.

Enemy dog has been spotted. He seems to be unaware of my presence. Type of enemy? Large dog, baring sharp teeth, seems absolutely ruthless...Known best as....the POODLE. Best be careful.

Plan A: Sneek up on enemy, injure his right, back leg. Then run and hope for the best. Let the plan begin!

Must find a weapon.. weapon.. possible injuring weapon.. HAH! A wooden stick! It shall do nicely! ........careful now.. quietly sneek up. Remember your training General! O.O since when did I promote myself to general? No I'm still a soldier. Soldier Mariku! Yes.. that's it. Carrying on with the plan...

Oh! Step right! Must avoid any twigs. Careful where you tread.. may be hidden bombs. Yes! reached enemy headquarters. Enemy in range. Target locked.. and... fire- NO! He has seen me! GARGH! Plan failed.. must retreat! RETREAT MEN! RETREAT! Mustn't look back. ARGH! I looked.. enemy is growling menacingly, it's giving chase. What's this? Stopped by a chain hung around it's neck? HAH! You can't get ME! XP

Huh? What's that sound? OH NO! Enemy 2: sugar-high hikari has arrived on the battle field! Must be allied with enemy canine! Need to hide!

Malik came out the back door, skipping slightly in his step, a disturbing smile plastered on his face. He looked around, trying to catch sight of his yami, but his eyes ended up falling on a small poodle in the neighbor's backyard.

He hopped over the fence and walked over to the dog, reaching out to pet it. Before he touched it, a voice called out.

"MALIK! Don't go near that hell hound! It'll tear your arm off!" Bakura called from the kitchen window.

"Don't worry about it Bakura!" Malik called back, "It's only a poodle!" Ignoring Bakura's warning, Malik reached down to pet the dog again.

Bakura shook his head and sighed. 'What he doesn't know is that poodles are known to be viciously agressive.. and this poodle is no different...'

The dog's eyes snapped open and it growled at Malik. The boy merely blinked and stared. It wasn't until the poodle snapped it's jaws at Malik, that he ran quickly back towards Ryou's house. Malik closed the door behind him and cluctched his behind. "That thing almost took a chunk out of me.." he said meekly.

Out in the neighbor's yard the dog had fallen back to sleep. But something moved behind the tool shed. Mariku's snigger could be faintly heard. He placed a hand over his mouth to muffle his laughter. Taking out his 'Battle Log', he prepared to write in it the events that just passed...

*ahem*.. Plan A backfired... Turns out enemy 2 is in no alliance with canine enemy, quite the oppsite. Enemy currently tranquil and unmoving. Must plan out next attack....

------------------------------------------------------------

Nadako: *blink* I don't think that turned out very funny...
Mikalai: No.. I don't think so either. How could that be?
Nadako: Meh.. I'm not in a humorous mood... But.. If you the reader think it hilarious, then I'm glad ^-^.

Thank you to the following readers for reviewing!: (I'm too lazy to comment...sorry.. XD)

Dreamy-Eyes1
Misura
Ryou Bakura Obsessor
Kinsako
Mina-chan AMD
SilverWinter
Saturn Imp
Hedi Dracona
sdrive
labyrinth of chaos
BlueMew
Princess Hallie
Tommy'sPonyGirl
Peace Writer
Windswift

Nadako: O.O This is by far the most reviews I've gotten for this story. I THANK YOU ALL! Now don't forget to reivew ^.^ Ja!