A/N: I have no idea where this chapter came from. I had something completely different planned out but as I was writing this popped out. Hope you like it!

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Chapter 12: Follow the Man

Three days later things were back to normal in the loft, or as normal as life could be when you lived in a place with no food, no heat, and five crazy bohemians.

"Mark have you seen my underwear?" Collins called from his bedroom, where he was packing to leave for MIT.

"Last time I wore it I put it back!" the filmmaker called back from the living room.

Collins replied by throwing a schoolbook at him from the doorway; it hit him in the stomach, causing him to fall off the couch.

"I did the laundry Collins, it's on my bed," Maureen said, coming out of her room and trying to put her mascara on while walking. Collins retreated into the next room while Maureen pounded on the bathroom door.

"Benny if you don't get out of there in two seconds I'm breaking the door down!"

"I think he broke my glasses," came Mark's voice from the floor.

"Benny!" Maureen yelled, banging on the door with her fists.

The door opened while Maureen was still attacking it, and her fist collided with Benny's head.

"Ow!"

"Well you could have told me you were opening it," Maureen said, pushing past him and rushing to the mirror where she finished putting on her mascara.

" If you leave a mark I swear…"

Maureen responded by slamming the door.

"How do you deal with her?" Benny asked Mark, who was still examining his glasses.

"Knowledge. At times like these you smile, nod and go 'yes dear, of course dear, whatever you say.' and if she says she wants to kill you you respond with 'yes dear, if that will make you happy.' and if she attacks you with a spork and tries to castrate you you run as fast as humanly possible because she will do it."

Benny looked nervously at the bathroom door.

"Found it," Collins said triumphantly, coming out of Mark and Maureen's room with an armful of clothes.

"I can't believe you're actually leaving tomorrow," Benny said as Collins walked past him.

"Yeah I know. I'm gonna miss you guys."

"So stay," Mark said, finally getting up from the floor, "Don't go to MIT, stay here. You have a good job here, a good life."

"Yeah, but I'm not happy. I mean don't get me wrong, I love you guys and all but, I just don't feel complete."

"So what makes you think going to MIT and leaving us all behind will make you feel complete?" Benny asked.

"I don't know," Collins said after a moment. He continued to fold clothes and put them neatly in his suitcase as he spoke, "I guess… I just hope there's more to life. More than this."

"What more do you want? You have friends, a job, a home."

"But I'm not happy!" Collins said, a bit louder than he had meant to, "I guess it doesn't matter, maybe I don't deserve to be happy."

"Of course you deserve to be happy, everyone deserves to be happy," came a voice from the doorway. All three men turned to see a tired and pale Roger leaning against the doorframe. He had gotten worse, now he couldn't go a day without getting a fix, but no one was making an argument anymore.

Collins smiled and patted the corner of his bed, indicating that Roger should come join them.

"I mean it, if anyone deserves to be happy it's you," Roger continued, "you've done so much for all of us."

"What do I do? I do what any friend would do, I listen, I give advice, so what?"

"Oh please! Collins stop being so hard on yourself," Mark said, putting a shirt in the suitcase.

"You guys just don't understand. I need something," Collins said quietly.

"What?" Benny asked impatiently, "What is so important that you have to leave everything you know behind?"

"I just don't feel complete. I don't want to be alone."

"You're not alone," Roger said, "You've got us."

          "It's not the same," he said, not taking his eyes off of the clothes he was folding, "I'm dying. I know it may not seem like it but I am. I just don't want to die alone. You all have someone to live for, and I guess I just want that too."

          Everyone was silent for a while, no one really knew how to respond to that. Everyone kind of took Collins for granted, he was always the steady one who never felt pain but was always there to listen to another's pain.

          "Listen I know what you mean," Mark said tentatively.

          "No you don't!" Collins snapped, causing the others to exchange nervous glances, "You don't understand because you have someone Mark. You have Maureen, and Roger you have April, and Benny you have Alison. Don't you understand? I want that too! I want to be able to come home and be greeted by someone who I know loves me unconditionally, someone who will stand by me until the world comes to an end."

          With that he shoved some more clothes into his suitcase and let out an angry breath. It had become obvious that Collins really didn't want to talk about it anymore, so the three slowly shuffled out and left him alone to finish packing. They nearly collided into Maureen who had been listening through the door.
          "What's going on?" she asked after pushing Benny into the opposite wall for running into her.

          "Just leave Collins alone for a little bit okay?" Mark said gently, glancing at the closed door.

          "But why-"

          "Trust me," and tentatively, Mark put his arm around his girlfriend, feeling slightly guilty as he did so. The couple walked slowly into the living room, leaving Roger and Benny alone outside Collins's room.

          "What was that about?" Roger asked.

          "You heard him. He just needs time I guess, give him some space, he'll come around."

          With that, Benny retreated into his room to finish getting ready for work. Roger walked into the living room where Mark and Maureen were sitting together on the couch and grabbed his coat.

          "Where are you going?" Maureen asked, taking her head off Mark's shoulder.

          "Out for a walk, I might stop by April's."

          Mark nodded, giving a short smile to his friend. Putting on his jacket, Roger stepped out the door.

          "I'm worried about Collins," Maureen said quietly, snuggling closer to Mark.

          "Yeah, I think he'll be alright, he's just feeling lonely," Mark stared at the door, he knew Roger's 'walk' was to get more smack, yet he was doing nothing.

          "You okay?" Maureen asked.

          "What? Yeah I'm fine, just thinking."

          "About what?"

          "Roger."

          "Ok, Mark, honey, for future reference, when your girlfriend asks you what you're thinking about, it is not a good idea to respond with the name of your best male friend."

          "Well would you rather I said Jennifer?"
          Maureen eyed him suspiciously, "Who's Jennifer?"
          "I dunno, but her name's not Roger."

          Maureen smacked him hard in the chest, "You're terrible!"

          Mark kissed her gently before getting up and reaching for his own coat.

          "Now where are you going?"

          "I'm sorry Mo, but I can't sit here and do nothing. He's my friend, I'm not gonna let him hurt himself like this."

          Maureen smiled proudly as Mark walked out the door. "That's my boy," she whispered.

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          "How much this time?"

          "Roger!"

          "Same as always, I like you."

          "Roger!"

          "Fine, here."

          "Roger!"

          "Hang on, what?"

          Mark ran up to his friend, panting.

          "Mark, what are you doing here?"

          "You can't- do- this," Mark forced out.

          "I can do whatever I want. You're wasting your time. I thought you had stopped bothering me about this." Roger said forcefully, trying to hand the money to the dealer. Mark grabbed his arm.

          "Roger please. Just try and control yourself, please," Mark had this pathetic pleading look in his eyes that caused Roger to both feel bad and want to crack up laughing.

          "Who's this?" the dealer asked, becoming impatient.

          Roger looked from Mark to the smack in his hand. Slowly he handed the money to the dealer and put the smack in his pocket. Mark shook his head and stared at the ground.

          "Come back anytime, you know where I'll be"

          "Yeah thanks," Roger said, grabbing Mark's arm and leading him away.

          "What the hell are you doing?" Roger asked once they were a safe distance away.

          "I don't know," Mark muttered, still staring at the pavement, "It seemed like a good idea at the time."

          "Yeah well it's not. Mark why can't you leave me alone, let me live my own life?"

          "Because I can't! I don't know why, it's just… I know this sounds pathetic, but I don't want to see you get hurt."

          "Yeah I know, we've been through this remember?"

          "Roger-"

          "Just drop it okay! I don't care, I really don't! This is what I want Mark, I'm happy, so just leave it alone."

          Roger stormed off down the street, leaving Mark standing alone on the street corner. He pulled his coat closer to his body, feeling the cold air sting his cheeks.

          Maybe I should just go home, he thought bitterly. It was obvious Roger wasn't going to listen, if anything Mark's repeated attempts to make him stop were fueling him.

          "Well well well," came a voice from behind him. Mark wheeled around to see the face of the dealer who had sold the drugs to Roger a little while ago.

          "If it isn't the little hero? How you doing hero?" he asked icily.

          "Leave me alone," Mark said.

          "There's no need to be rude. How bout I fix whatever's bothering you?" he held out a bag of white powder, one identical to what Roger had just bought. Mark took a step backward.

          "There's nothing to be afraid of. Come on hero, how 'bout it?"

          Mark shook his head.

          "No? Are you sure? Just ask your friend, he loves it, come on."

          "No. Leave me alone, I'm fine."

          Mark was spared more problems when another man came running up to make a purchase. Mark slipped away quickly and hurried down the street, shaking.

          "Hey sweetie, where are you going in such a hurry?"

          Mark jumped and looked around to see a pretty drag queen watching him from on top of a wall, where he had a pickle tub balanced between his legs like a drum.  Mark didn't respond.

          "Are you okay? I didn't mean to scare you like that."

          "Yeah I'm fine."

          "You look terrible."

          "Thanks"

          "I'm sorry!" the drag queen said gently, moving the pickle tub to one side and moving towards Mark, "I didn't mean it like that. You just look like something's bothering you."

          Mark was silent.

          "I'm Angel," he said, extending a hand.

          "Mark," he replied, "Look thanks for being concerned but I don't feel like talking."

          Angel smiled, "Hey I know, the last thing I'd want to do is discuss my problems with some random stranger. So why don't you tell one of your friends?"

          "Because my problems all have to do with them."

          Angel nodded, "Ah. Well I'd be happy to offer you some advice if you want."

          "No thanks. I'll be fine, I'm just a little shaken."

          "I saw you talking to that guy, the dealer."

          "You know him?"

          "I date him."

          Mark's eyes widened, "Really?"

          "Yeah. He doesn't know that I know, but I've been watching him whenever I get the chance, trying to see whose lives he's destroying besides his own."

          "Do you use-"

          "No!" Angel said quickly, shaking his head, "I'd never do that. And I'm glad to see you don't either. You've got a strong will."

          "Yeah, one stronger than Roger's at least," Mark said under his breath.

          "What?"

          "Nothing. It's just my friend who uses. I tried to get him to stop and he wouldn't and then that guy decided to follow me and see if he could gain a new customer."

          "I'm sorry. I wish I could help you, I really do."

          "I know, it's okay. I'll be fine."

          "You sure?"

          "Yeah, thanks."

          "No problem."

          Mark began to walk away when Angel ran after him.

          "Mark!"

          "Yeah?" he said, turning around.

          "If you ever need advice, come find me."

          "Thanks. Angel?"

          "Yeah?"

          "You seem like a strong person. So why not tell your boyfriend what's going on? It'll probably fix a lot of problems."

            Angel smiled, "I would, but I don't know if he's ready yet. But I'll keep it in mind. Thanks."

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Free sporks to anyone who got the reference to Today for You: Proof Positive!