A/N: From our previous chapter, the two rival yamis find themselves in a hopeless predicament: Everyone LOVES Barney! scream What will happen now? You wonder. shrugs Who knows. They could very well be chopped into tiny pieces and fed to the notorious purple skinned dinosaur's little goldfish! Or.. they could find a way out.. XD
Yes yes, like every other fic-o-mine states: I AM VERY...VERY VERY VERY VERY Sorry. xx I'm working on more fics now! Why? dunno, just a phase. I haven't written in a LONG time and I feel I need to write things out. =) Most of these ideas have come from daydreams and thoughts, by the way. 0 Either that or they've really happened. Oo No, the loving Barney thing didn't really happen. I just threw that in for the fun of it XD
....And what ever is going to happen in THIS chapter never happened in real life.. sees little mini people running about er.. yeah..
Disclaimer: Pfft, I don't feel like saying it. Just refer back to those other eight chapters =3
Bakura's Annoyed- What Will He Do?
Chapter 9: Chibified!
By: Nadako-Mika
Where we last left off, Bakura was being painfully dragged up the stairs by Yami. Why is that? Well.. Seeing as Bakura was first gagged up and tied by Barney worshippers.. you could make your own conclusions. So, let's see what our two favorite Yamis are up to, hm?
"You could have avoided that table leg you know!" Bakura screeched at Yami. His previous cut - the one Yami had so generously gave Bakura when he smashed the vase over the Thief's head - had now increased, swelling in the process.
Yami, however, ignored the enraged spirit beside him as he peered through the window on the second floor. He watched as his Hikari and countless others searched the streets for any signs of the infamous purple dinosaur. He raised a brow questioningly as he saw Malik peering into the neighbor's mailbox. His other brow joined the first as he watched Jounouchi pick up a small garden rock to look under it. Yami sweatdropped as he saw Yuugi barking orders to the others; ranting and raving about the importance of finding their purple hero.
Bakura, on the other hand, failed to notice the events that were taking place outside. "And why did you have to hit those doors on the way in as well?! If I didn't know better, I'd say you did it on purpose!" He was still complaining...
Yami rolled his eyes in annoyance. 'Well of COURSE I did it on purpose, baka!'
"Yami lied! Barney's not out here! Let's get him!" a voice cried from outside.
Yami's ears pricked up at the sound of thumping on the stair case. They were closing in...
"You know how many bruises I have now?" Bakura kept complaining, oblivious to the danger that awaited them if they stayed put. "You could be a little kinder to your fellow yami-"
"SHUT UP TOMB ROBBER! We're about to be caught by Barney loving teenagers and you're worried about my extremely cruel deeds I've done to you?!"
Bakura's eyes widened as he listened more carefully to the sound of thumping footsteps from angry Barney followers.
Suddenly, the door was thrown open as a frustrated and angry Yuugi (such a rare sight..) stormed in. "Where are you Bakura? Yami? I know you're in here! You're in here somewhere, I'm sure of it!" he called out loudly. He walked around the room slowly, looking under Ryou's bed (they were in his bedroom..I forgot to mention that) and checking out the window to make sure the two hadn't escaped. The only place Yuugi didn't check was the closet.
Yuugi turned to leave when Ryou pointed out, "Yuugi? You haven't checked my closet yet."
The pint sized reincarnation of the all-mighty Pharaoh waved it off. "I know they're not stupid enough to hide in there, it would be too obvious. They must have jumped out the window, let's go check." he said. And off they went..
Well, apparently the two Yamis were stupid enough to hide in Ryou's closet. If one were to open the closet door, they would find two rival Yamis, whose faces were deathly white with fear, huddling in a corner and holding on to each other for dear life. What a sight... not very pleasant, mind you.
The two waited for a sign which announced the departure of their Hikaris and friends. They knew the mob had gone when they heard the all dreadful... BARNEY song! The two undead spirits breathed in deeply, sighing in relief. This is where the 'holding on to each other for dear life' part clicks into their brains.
"GET OFF OF ME YOU SNOB OF A PHARAOH!" Bakura cried, thus earning him a sharp smack on the face.
"Shush, you fool! Do you really want the others to find us?" Yami growled. Bakura quickly shook his head 'no' in response.
"Well?! What are we going to do now?" Bakura barked at Yami, though keeping his voice to a whisper.
Yami pondered for a moment, planning an escape. "Well," he started, "We could always jump out the window and make a mad dash for the streets."
Bakura disagreed. "Sorry, but I don't feel like breaking any bones, or crashing into the trees."
Yami rolled his eyes in annoyance. "Well then, oh mighty tomb robber.. What do YOU suggest we do?" he asked in a snide manner, "Shall we burst through the door and hope our Hikaris and Barney crazed friends won't notice us?" Sarcasm clearly lined his voice.
Bakura however, didn't seem to notice the sarcasm. Thus, answering stupidly, "No idiot. Of course they'd catch us if we were to burst through the hallway." Yami fell down (anime style) when he heard that response. Bakura took no notice, only continuing in his pondering. "I know! We'll... consult the Big Blue Book Of Anger Management!!!"
"The what?"
"The Big Blue Book of-"
"Yeah, yeah. I heard you the first time!"
"Then why ask?"
"..nevermind.."
Wow... the Big Blue Book of Anger Management is back! After what seemed like forever, Bakura finally uses it! Let us see what advice the great book shall provide for the two yamis...
Lesson 13: Bwuahaa.. the number 13, how ironic- Oh yes! The chapter title.. ahem Damn, ran out of space for the title.
Yami blinked as he read the chapter title. He raised one questioning brow and looked at the white haired yami beside him. "Where the heck did you get this?" Bakura only shrugged it off.
Well. Now you know you and your companion are on the brink of ultimate DOOM! doom doom doom..doom Let me try and guess the current situation you're in: Your Hikari and friends have suddenly become Barney crazed fans; who, I might add, want to torture and kill you two even if it is against Barney's teachings. Well, may I suggest jumping out the window and making a mad dash for the streets?
"Nope.. The tomb robber doesn't want to 'break any bones'."
No? Darn, that would have been a good way out. Hm.. this may sound idiotic, but it may actually work.. Why don't you burst through the door and hope your Hikaris and Barney crazed friends won't notice you?
The two Yamis looked questioningly at each other. Why was the book repeating everything they had said?
Alright. So you don't like those suggestions. Well, you're on your own, buddy. This is a tough little situation you got yourself in. What this book can do for you now is only to give you tips and advice:
Tip 1: Don't think those Barney fans are all into friendship and all that Anzu junk. They're nothing like those nice little bunny lovers. These crazed people will hunt down and chop your heads off at the first Barney insult they hear. Insult their leader, and you're dead!
Bakura gulped, remembering the little song he made up a while ago infront of his Hikari. "Oops?.."
Tip 2: If your friends have already started singing the Barney Song, then it's too late to bring them back. They've been infested! Okay, no, not exactly INFESTED. More like.. cursed. Yeah! That's it...CURSED! So, every curse comes with a counter spell. FIND IT.
Tip 3: No one knows about the Barney counter spell, so you're on your own.
Tip 4: In 48 minutes of Barney love, victims of the curse will become.. CHIBIS. How horrible..
Tip 5: Another tip would be nice, wouldn't it? Well, sorry guys. No more advice, we ran out .
Well, that's all we can do for you at this moment. We wish you the best of luck soldier! I salute you!
Bakura shut the book and threw it in an abandoned corner of the room. "A lot of help that brought.." he grumbled. "We might as well turn ourselves into those crazy people.. WHY MUST THE GODS TORMENT US?!-"
"Shhh!" Yami hushed, clamping his hand over Bakura's mouth. He at first struggled in his arch enemy's grip, but stopped his futile attempt of escape as he heard....
....You guessed it...
CRYING! - and not just any cry. It was... oh the horror... a CHILD's cry. Which can only mean one thing: The ice cream truck will come by in twenty minutes. Best get your money ready.
"Is that the music of an ice cream truck I hear?" Bakura asked, sticking his head out the window.
Yami pulled the Tomb Robber back inside the room, then hit him across the head. "You idiot! Don't you hear the incessant wailing of little children, coming from your own home?!"
The pharaoh and recieved a stupid blink and a cocked head from the other. "Yeah? So?"
"Didn't you read what the book said? About.. Chibis? cringes"
"Pfft, you listen to THAT old thing?
Yami started to smack his head against the wall. "How can you explain the crying from downstairs?"
Bakura simply shrugged. "Ryou's babysitting?"
At this point, Yami started his daily frustration dance. A daily ritual which involves him, the floor, a bed, some junk, and anger. Do YOU wish to be like Yami and do the frustration dance? crowd cheers Well! To start off, toss some junk around- lamps, pencils, scrap paper, glass mugs, whatever else you can pick up -being sure to avoid hitting the murderous fiend currently standing beside you. The second step is to throw yourself on some random bed and jumping up and down screaming and cussing (just make sure your parents aren't around). The last and final step of the dance is to throw all of yourself onto the ground and throwing a tantrum. Wail, scream, kick, act like you were four. Don't know if you're doing it properly? Take a look at our favourite Yami over there.
And thus, Yami danced. Danced, danced. He seemed to do this quite often around Bakura, although the thief couldn't quite figure out WHY.
'Curses. The idiot's doing that thing again. I hope he doesn't touch Ryou's guitar- oh wait.. it's trashed. Great, another week of glaring and cursing from Ryou. Some innocent hikari he is..' thought Bakura.
Now, we go into Yami's thoughts...bwuahah..: 'It's not FAIR! It's not FAIR! It's not FAIR! It's NOT. It's NOT. It's NOT! Why do I always have to deal with the idiots? Why can't I ever deal with normal, living people? I don't care if I'm dead, I WANT TO BE AROUND NORMAL LIVING PEOPLE! boo-hoo...'
Okay! Let's NOT go into the pharaoh's thoughts again...
"Yami! SHUT UP! You..You... BABY!" Bakura yelled.
And just at that moment, the door to the bedroom was flung open. Both Sennen Spirits stood staring at the person who had opened the door. Or rather, a CHILD. The youngster held onto a stuffed toy, shapped like an oddly familiar purple dinosaur. The little boy had oddly familiar white hair as well...
"Bakuwa? Yami? I'm hungry..." The kid announced, leaning against the door for support.
Bakura and Yami exchanged glances, both trying to figure out who this child was, and what he was doing here. Then it clicked...
"RYOU?!"
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A/N: Well.. that took a long while to write. I've been trying to finish this chapter for months now! I'm sorry it's short, it's the best I could do for now. The next chapter should come out in about a month. Kick me in the butt if I DON"T get it out by then.
Thank you to: Windswift , BlueMew, Misura , Ryou Bakura Obsessor , Peace Writer , Rei Akita , Mina-chan AMD , Nari-chan SND , Melony Mutou , sdrive , SilverWinter , labyrinth of chaos , Mooncinder , Zenryo , hieilover2004