Sparkleworks, like every other pony in Ponyville, had heard this sort of
thing from Wishawhirl before, and wasn't holding her breath for magic
powers. Wishawhirl was obsessed with the old stories about Dream Valley,
ponies with magical properties, and the mythical Rainbow of Light. This
miraculous "Self-Amplifier" was simply the latest in a long series of
potions, sprays, and other gimmicks to "restore the magic of our
ancestors." Occasionally, through a lucky accident, these had proved to
have some actual useful property, like the one liquid that turned out to
significantly prolong the life of cut flowers or the particularly nasty
tasting but curative potion with which baby ponies were now threatened
regularly. Once or twice, disaster had loomed in the introduction of the
invention, as in the Horn-Welding machine designed to turn any pony into a
magical unicorn by bonding an artificial horn to his or her forehead. In
these cases, Kimono, the reigning Record-Keeper, could usually talk him out
of implementing whatever plans he had, though in the case of the Horn-
Welder, Alpha Sunny Daze herself had been forced to simply put her hoof
down and forbid its use. Most often, however, the inventions had no effect
except inducing shrieks of laughter, derisive jeers, and laughing
admonitions to give it up. Stubborn or crazy, Wishawhirl never seemed
discouraged by these episodes, but returned to his workshop to think up a
new scheme.
Although always a bright and innovative pony, Wishawhirl hadn't always been a crazy, obsessive one. The problem seemed to have begun a few years ago, after he attended a lecture by Kimono on the significance of Birthbrands, the unique symbols every pony bore on one side of their hindquarters. Sparkleworks hadn't gone to the lecture, of course, so she didn't know exactly what put the nonsense in his head. She did know that Wishawhirl became a laughing stock immediately thereafter by claiming that he and his sister, because they were both what he dubbed "air ponies" (by virtue of the pinwheel and bubble symbols that graced their rumps), must have the power to float. There followed much blue-in-the-face breath-holding and intense concentration as he tried to levitate himself several times a day, and a series of disasters from jumping off tall objects and claiming to get "air time." Even Bubblecup, normally a very easy-going and unselfconscious young pony, had been embarrassed and reluctant when her big brother had encouraged her participate in the delusional displays. When he was finally forced to admit that his magic powers weren't up to snuff, he devoted himself to locating Dream Valley and finding out why magic powers were apparently gone from Ponyland, refusing to accept the generally held view that only unicorns (also in absentia) could perform magic. He pestered Kimono for time in the library archives and access to the oldest records in the castle, set up the beginnings of his research workshop, and produced his first flop, the Birthbrand-Doubler. He had quickly gone from a promisingly attractive and good-natured young stallion to a reclusive and distracted, though still attractive, young stallion.
However, the shortage of Ponyville stallions in general, and of bright-eyes handsome ones with dashing royal-blue hair in specific, meant that he nevertheless received quite a few callers. Even, thought Sparkleworks in frustration, if he didn't have the common courtesy to get his air-rump off his ladder and say hello to a particularly good-looking one. And her friends. Although, she considered, he was probably he was simply overwhelmed by her beauty and charm, especially since he spent so much time puttering around alone in this cottage, and thereby made so shy he felt the need to escape her dazzling presence. She had that effect on a lot of men, and was often forced to, well, trap them into dates, for lack of a better turn of phrase. Ah, beauty. A blessing and a curse. In this case, she would have to feign interest in this Self-Amplifier until she could lure him into a romantic dinner. She would also have to outmaneuver her friends, particularly Dazzle, who was as painfully single as herself. Mittens might flirt, but she would be unlikely to compromise her hold on her très cool sweetheart, Snowflake. And Wysteria...where was Wysteria? She must have been left behind at the Café somehow. She was just so quiet. Although in this case it was one less doe-eyed competitor.
"You see, I was pondering my old Birthbrand-Doubler not so long ago," Wishawhirl was explaining to the ponies finding their way to the center of the room." And I got to thinking, maybe the missing Rainbow of Light is the key, maybe we need some kind of rainbow-processing before we try the doubling, and then it hit me! A crystal!"
He chuckled in delight, shaking his head, "It seems so obvious in retrospect, doesn't it? I mean after all, aren't all rainbows really rainbows of light? Ha, ha!"
Sparkleworks wasn't sure she got the joke. She and her friends tittered nervously. Bubblecup had the anxious look of a student who is confused despite trying very hard to listen well. Wishawhirl resumed his lecture.
"See, the crystal is the key, though these information-gathering and amplification devices are very important, too, of course." He indicated the mess below him. "But the crystal itself has some very unusual properties. For one thing, its entire structure is aligned in parallel. Very important, you see, so that all the ends of the crystal formation can be found on these wide, flat ends: here and here. All except this part here on the edge, this is grown in a complicated closed fractal pattern. It took me weeks to grow a satisfactory one in the lab. So, around at this end I attached these devices here, to feed signals into the crystal where they are processed through the fractal, to then travel on the parallel line to the other side here, where they emerge from the crystal having been rainbow- processed AND amplified."
"What's amplified?" interrupted Bubblecup.
"Intensified," replied Wishawhirl, "Made bigger and louder and better. More of everything you started with."
Sparkleworks was confused, too. She craned her neck up, searching the crystal. "What is it that you started with exactly?" She immediately regretted the question. Stupid, stupid. Better to just keep smiling silently than admit you don't understand.
"Ah, an excellent question!" exclaimed Wishawhirl to her surprise, "I was just getting to that. The data being collected is you!"
"Me?" Sparkleworks was startled.
"Well, you know, you, me...whoever we happen to be Amplifying. Sound, appearance, smell, so forth...I figure we just need to take whatever magical part of our nature we have left latent in ourselves and intensify it, rainbowify it, and project it back out onto that same pony, you see!" He whooped with glee. "Isn't it inspired?"
"Fantastic," said Dazzle, nodding enthusiastically.
"Would you like to be the first to try it, Razzle?" he offered in delight.
"Dazzle," she corrected. "Dazzle Surprise."
"Yes, of course. Sorry. Wouldn't you like to know what that Dazzle can really do?"
"I could already show you a Surprise," she said slyly.
"R-really?" he stammered. "Is that so?"
Sparkleworks considered butting in as a volunteer to regain control of the conversation, but couldn't help but remember the Horn-Welder.
"You've worked so hard on this," she remarked, instead. "We certainly wouldn't want to rob you of your moment of glory. You should be the first."
"Besides," chimed in Bubblecup doubtfully, "it might hurt."
Although always a bright and innovative pony, Wishawhirl hadn't always been a crazy, obsessive one. The problem seemed to have begun a few years ago, after he attended a lecture by Kimono on the significance of Birthbrands, the unique symbols every pony bore on one side of their hindquarters. Sparkleworks hadn't gone to the lecture, of course, so she didn't know exactly what put the nonsense in his head. She did know that Wishawhirl became a laughing stock immediately thereafter by claiming that he and his sister, because they were both what he dubbed "air ponies" (by virtue of the pinwheel and bubble symbols that graced their rumps), must have the power to float. There followed much blue-in-the-face breath-holding and intense concentration as he tried to levitate himself several times a day, and a series of disasters from jumping off tall objects and claiming to get "air time." Even Bubblecup, normally a very easy-going and unselfconscious young pony, had been embarrassed and reluctant when her big brother had encouraged her participate in the delusional displays. When he was finally forced to admit that his magic powers weren't up to snuff, he devoted himself to locating Dream Valley and finding out why magic powers were apparently gone from Ponyland, refusing to accept the generally held view that only unicorns (also in absentia) could perform magic. He pestered Kimono for time in the library archives and access to the oldest records in the castle, set up the beginnings of his research workshop, and produced his first flop, the Birthbrand-Doubler. He had quickly gone from a promisingly attractive and good-natured young stallion to a reclusive and distracted, though still attractive, young stallion.
However, the shortage of Ponyville stallions in general, and of bright-eyes handsome ones with dashing royal-blue hair in specific, meant that he nevertheless received quite a few callers. Even, thought Sparkleworks in frustration, if he didn't have the common courtesy to get his air-rump off his ladder and say hello to a particularly good-looking one. And her friends. Although, she considered, he was probably he was simply overwhelmed by her beauty and charm, especially since he spent so much time puttering around alone in this cottage, and thereby made so shy he felt the need to escape her dazzling presence. She had that effect on a lot of men, and was often forced to, well, trap them into dates, for lack of a better turn of phrase. Ah, beauty. A blessing and a curse. In this case, she would have to feign interest in this Self-Amplifier until she could lure him into a romantic dinner. She would also have to outmaneuver her friends, particularly Dazzle, who was as painfully single as herself. Mittens might flirt, but she would be unlikely to compromise her hold on her très cool sweetheart, Snowflake. And Wysteria...where was Wysteria? She must have been left behind at the Café somehow. She was just so quiet. Although in this case it was one less doe-eyed competitor.
"You see, I was pondering my old Birthbrand-Doubler not so long ago," Wishawhirl was explaining to the ponies finding their way to the center of the room." And I got to thinking, maybe the missing Rainbow of Light is the key, maybe we need some kind of rainbow-processing before we try the doubling, and then it hit me! A crystal!"
He chuckled in delight, shaking his head, "It seems so obvious in retrospect, doesn't it? I mean after all, aren't all rainbows really rainbows of light? Ha, ha!"
Sparkleworks wasn't sure she got the joke. She and her friends tittered nervously. Bubblecup had the anxious look of a student who is confused despite trying very hard to listen well. Wishawhirl resumed his lecture.
"See, the crystal is the key, though these information-gathering and amplification devices are very important, too, of course." He indicated the mess below him. "But the crystal itself has some very unusual properties. For one thing, its entire structure is aligned in parallel. Very important, you see, so that all the ends of the crystal formation can be found on these wide, flat ends: here and here. All except this part here on the edge, this is grown in a complicated closed fractal pattern. It took me weeks to grow a satisfactory one in the lab. So, around at this end I attached these devices here, to feed signals into the crystal where they are processed through the fractal, to then travel on the parallel line to the other side here, where they emerge from the crystal having been rainbow- processed AND amplified."
"What's amplified?" interrupted Bubblecup.
"Intensified," replied Wishawhirl, "Made bigger and louder and better. More of everything you started with."
Sparkleworks was confused, too. She craned her neck up, searching the crystal. "What is it that you started with exactly?" She immediately regretted the question. Stupid, stupid. Better to just keep smiling silently than admit you don't understand.
"Ah, an excellent question!" exclaimed Wishawhirl to her surprise, "I was just getting to that. The data being collected is you!"
"Me?" Sparkleworks was startled.
"Well, you know, you, me...whoever we happen to be Amplifying. Sound, appearance, smell, so forth...I figure we just need to take whatever magical part of our nature we have left latent in ourselves and intensify it, rainbowify it, and project it back out onto that same pony, you see!" He whooped with glee. "Isn't it inspired?"
"Fantastic," said Dazzle, nodding enthusiastically.
"Would you like to be the first to try it, Razzle?" he offered in delight.
"Dazzle," she corrected. "Dazzle Surprise."
"Yes, of course. Sorry. Wouldn't you like to know what that Dazzle can really do?"
"I could already show you a Surprise," she said slyly.
"R-really?" he stammered. "Is that so?"
Sparkleworks considered butting in as a volunteer to regain control of the conversation, but couldn't help but remember the Horn-Welder.
"You've worked so hard on this," she remarked, instead. "We certainly wouldn't want to rob you of your moment of glory. You should be the first."
"Besides," chimed in Bubblecup doubtfully, "it might hurt."