April 21, 2004

Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with JKR and do not take credit for her brilliant work. These stories are based on her characters, setting, and ideas. I would like to thank the webmasters of Harry Potter Lexicon and the authors to "Ultimate Unofficial Guide to the Mysteries of Harry Potter" for much needed reference.

Canon Note: I have started this story before the release of Order of the Phoenix. Some minor details, age, Quidditch position, relations, etc. may be off. I would like to keep my story somewhat close to canon and therefore try and incorporate new facts as the story progresses. (Roger will switch from Beater to Chaser later in the novel to be consistent with OOTP ...why are there not Beater Captains?).

Also Kaihn should be recognized and appreciated for buffing and polishing my rough drafts. Thanks a million!

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~ Appetite for Destruction ~

By: Phaedra
Editor: Kaihn Aelathali

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Elle Farnsworth: tall, slender, beautiful and blonde, and Cedric's new object of affection.  Cho fiddled with her mashed potatoes and often shot dirty looks at the Hufflepuff table. She could clearly see Cedric hand-in-hand with the blonde bombshell. Every moment Cho looked at the happy couple, pains shot through her stomach.  It was like a train wreck, but she couldn't look away.  Heidi took a glance at the couple and gently tapped Cho on the shoulder.

"Hey kid," she said, "you okay?"

"Of course!" Cho snapped. "Never better!"

The rest of Cho's friends stayed silent. They had been waiting for the 'HMS Cedric & Cho' ship to sail since the beginning of the year, but now it seemed to be permanently dry-docked.  Several moments of silence passed before Cho slammed her fork against the plate.

"What is so GREAT about Elle Farnsworth, anyway!?" Cho scoffed. "I see she's pretty . . . what about ME? Cedric is supposed to be in love with ME! Who is she anyway!?"

"I don't know, but Cedric did well with that one," said Roger with his eyes fixed on Elle.

"Roger, how could you?!" Heidi scolded Roger and pinched him, but he was so entranced with Elle, he barely noticed.

"She's a prefect too," said Roger, "she's smart, sweet, and her family's bloody stinkin' rich."

"Peh! I got Sickles! And I can afford a SharLer bag!"

Cho proudly displayed her expensive brown designer bag. SharLer, a talented witch artist, had figured out how to perform elaborate charms on simple bags to create very intricate designs.   Being the top in her field, her products were quite expensive, and owning one had become a status symbol in the witches' community.

"Um . . . Cho, that bag was last season," Marietta said with hesitation. "It's nearly spring and the new SharLer bags are out in select shops. This season, they're white with colored patterns. Like that one!" Marietta excitedly pointed at Elle's bag.

"MARIETTA!" Cho said slamming her purse on the bench.

"Oh, sorry!"

Roger sighed, eyes still fixed on Elle. "She is so perfect! I never saw ANYONE so captivating. . . OW! WHAT THE. . . !?"

Roger looked down at the turkey that had just slid down his face, then glanced at Cho.  Cho slammed away from the table and stormed towards the Great Hall's exit.  She shot a glance at Elle and her new bag on her way out, and her heart sank.  Her friends were right. She was beautiful. Her bag proved she had money, and her prefect badge seemed to shimmer with all the intelligence one could have.

"She's probably a dirty harlot . . . with. . . with SNIDGET SORES!"

Everything about the castle pestered Cho. Everywhere there were flags from each of the houses. But it was the yellow that stood out, the house that SHE was from. The thought of her and Cedric in the same house made the turkey in her stomach churn. They could easily sneak into each others rooms and . . .

"WWHRRRNGH!!"

Cho kicked the entrance hall open and jogged out to the lawn. She ran almost directionless, but her subconscious led her to a familiar place.  A safe haven; the garden by the Forbidden Forest.  It was the one place where she assumed she would be alone. With Spring approaching rapidly, she didn't mind staying outside in the beautiful weather either.  Once she realized where her feet had taken her, she pressed her hands against the garden walls looking for the trap door. She had been here before with Oliver. Cho remembered that this was the place where she shared her first romantic night with Oliver. He'd sent her a letter to meet her here. Maybe her memories of Oliver would help her forget Cedric.  She found the door and crawled inside the garden. She stumbled as she entered the garden, and looked up to see a bronze and blue tie.

"Jenna?"

Cho was surprised to see one of her closest friends out here alone. They normally did everything as a group and rarely ventured out by themselves. Jenna was just as surprised as Cho is. She couldn't hide the pinkness in her cheeks.

"What are you doing here?" asked Cho briskly as she brought herself up.

"I should ask you the same question," Jenna replied coolly. "How do you know about this place?"

"Stumbled upon it. I do fly a broomstick," Cho lied, taken aback by Jenna's sudden attitude.

"What have I done to piss her off. . .  unless . . . Of course!"   Jenna knew of this place because Oliver had taken her to the very spot when they dated. Cho could feel her blood boil. Her friend, a BEST friend, had lied to her about her relationship with Oliver! They weren't just friends! They had snogged!

"Okay, yes I admit I had somewhat of a crush on him, but . . . well . . . he is Quidditch, and I can't stand Quidditch! That's why, Cho! He spends more time on Quidditch than anything else! So, if you like to be second best to a lousy sport, then by all means go for it!"

Cho remembered Jenna's words from months ago.  Those words rang in her head as if a siren was pressed against her ears. Even worse, a vision of Jenna and Oliver in a lip-lock had burned into the back of her mind.  The thoughts that ran through her mind twisted her face into a monstrous frown. How could she be so naïve?!

"What do you need?" Jenna tried to hold on to her usual grace, but the same jealousy that gripped Cho poured over Jenna in waves. "Shouldn't you be out snogging with 'your Wood?'''

"My 'Wood?'" Cho rolled her eyes. "How very classy of you!  Such innuendos!  You know very well we broke it off!"

For a brief moment Jenna's disgusted face softened back to her usual pretty one and her eyes widened in sympathy. The breakup seemed like news to her. She set a cocky look to her face and pressed her tongue against the corner of her mouth.

"It was Quidditch, wasn't it?" Jenna pressed.

"You two were not JUST friends," Cho snapped.

"You couldn't stand being second!" she rose and towered over Cho. "His career comes first.  Period.  You to him, you are nothing next to Quidditch! NOTHING! You will NEVER be half the girl Quidditch is to him! Even if you did polish his wand . . ."

Cho's open palm shot out before she realized it and smacked hard across Jenna's cheek.  The sound was deafening in the quiet garden.  Cho did not relax her mangled expression, but she could not stop the tears from saturating her eyes. She hit Jenna's face so hard, that her head jerked to the side. Jenna touched her cheek and felt the skin starting to welt.

"How DARE you!" Cho voiced.

Jenna looked back at Cho, her eyes boring into Cho's.  Her fingers still grazed her fire-engine red cheek.  Though the same build as Cho, Jenna's extra six inches would usually make her intimidating, but not now.  Not to Cho, who looked every bit as fierce.  Cho's own best friend had lied to her and had the guts to imply that she was a floozy. They stood there with their eyes frozen on each other, waiting for the next to make a move. Cho felt her wand pressed against her thigh as she prepared to draw if the occasion called for it. Her hands shook in anger and she feared that even if she needed the wand, she wouldn't have the dexterity to hold it right. Her blood pressure rose dramatically with each passing second.  She felt like her temperature was speeding past "fever".  Every urge in her body, every fiber of her being wanted to reach out and strangle Jenna until she was no more.

Instead, she snorted at Jenna and turned on her heel.  She knew turning her back on Jenna right then was a risk, but she kept her ears open, ready to whip back around if Jenna moved.

"Fine! Don't face the truth!" Jenna shouted, but Cho kept walking, "Bury yourself in denial!  But you know what I'm talking about! You're not THAT damn stupid girl!"

Cho tried to zone out Jenna's words. They were worse than any physical assault she could throw at her. Most importantly, she was right about it because she had experienced it herself. She had him first. Cho managed to crawl out of the garden without looking back at Jenna. After she took three steps from the wall, she could hear Jenna wail at the top of her lungs and the sounds of rocks and sticks being thrown against the wall. Cho, frightened by the piercing sound, ran as fast as she could from the garden.

When she approached the lake, she saw her reflection in the glassy water. She looked like a mess. Several months ago, she would have considered herself eye candy but now she felt like an eye sore. It wasn't because of the puffy red eyes or the dirt on her cheeks from crawling. Something else was wrong . . . something beneath her skin. She knelt down by the water and cupped the cool liquid in her palm. She rinsed her face several times hoping not only to cool her eyes and clean the dirt, but to wash away whatever made her feel rotten. It didn't work.

She stared unhappily at her reflection when a dark figure clouded it. At first, she thought it was overcast and looked up at the sky. No, it was clear out. She looked back down at her reflection and only saw blackness. She pondered on why her reflection is dark until her heart jolted up to her throat. She knew what it was! A dementor! She jerked her head around, nearly straining her neck and saw a twisted creature engulfed in all black.

"DREW!" she scoffed and rose to her feet. "What are you doing in that get-up?" She looked at him from head to toe.

"What? This?" Drew looked at his clothing and shifted it on his body. "It's called a trench coat. And look . . ." he shifted the material away from his feet to reveal his new platform boots that were over-run with a series of buckles, straps, and chains, "New boots! Imported from America of all places.  Those ruddy American Wizards are obsessed with dressing in black leather and chains. It's the biggest crave in the Western Hemisphere. But I must say, the clothes suit me well."

Cho stared at the boots with her mouth hung to the floor and looked up at his face which was enhanced with black eyeliner. It was the tackiest thing in leather she'd ever seen!

"What in the name of Merlin possessed you to dress like that?"

"Reactions like yours. It's worth it.  And as strange as I look, this has actually lowered my profile."

Cho clenched her fists and squeezed her eyes shut. She could not believe her day! Proven less than mediocre compared to that Elle Farnsworth, Jenna betraying her, and Drew mocking her with his foolish fads. She couldn't contain her frustration any longer. She blew up into a fury of rage and pounded Drew with her tiny fists. Of course, fists of a five foot tall girl had little effect on someone as big as Drew. She screamed and swore and smacked Drew, hoping to rid herself of this horror.

"Now, either you really don't like this style, or you really need to cool off…  I'll opt for number two."

Drew reached into his boot, and pulled out his wand.  Before Cho's eyes told her mind what it was, Drew flicked his wand and Cho was sent flying and landed in the lake with a loud splash.  Cho stood up in the shallow water, completely drenched. 

"Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of our 'Wet Witches' Robe' Contest…" Drew said dryly.

"You ruddy bastard!" she screamed.

She clenched her fists and rushed towards Drew again.  As soon as her feet hit dry land again, Drew flipped his wand once more, sending her somersaulting in the air and smacking her body on the water.  Cho quickly scrambled to her feet again, and with the most rage filled roar she could muster, charged Drew again.  Her hair was filled with weeds, shoes with muck, and her makeup trickled down her cheeks. This time, Drew let her get halfway between him and the shore before he flicked his wand again. 

 "Schoolgirl.  Lake Monster nearby with tentacles.  Be glad this is England and not Japan, Cho."

Cho landed flat on her back in the shallows again. She sat up, her eyes wide with shock.  She couldn't believe that he'd throw her in the water three times.  She looked at Drew, just sitting there impassively, with a slight smirk on his face.  She knew if she tried to attack him again, she'd end up back where she was now. 

"Are you ready to talk now, or should we wash, rinse, and repeat?" Drew asked.

Cho lowered her eyes and slowly trudged to shore, and sat down next to Drew, clutching her knees to her chin.  "I. . .  I'm sorry Drew. . . "

"Don't worry about it.  You're cooled off, I'm entertained and intrigued.  Works out fine by my count.  Now, would you mind telling me what self-inflicted psychological trauma you're trying to blame me for?"

"What do you mean self-inflicted?! I'm upset because of Cedric, and Oliver!"

"And you're trying to blame me for something caused because of them.  I see.  Interesting.  Would you care to expand on that, or are you going to leave me to guess at it on my own?"

"You know exactly what I mean Drew!  Don't play around here!  Oliver didn't love me, and Cedric did but he's had several girlfriends and has Elle Farnsworth now, and why did you have to show me that journal!  All it did was make me miserable!  I was happy with Oliver and you showed me that stupid book of yours and it messed everything up!"

Drew slipped out of his jacket and wrapped it around Cho.  "Ah, I see now.  Your mind is up to some usual defensive tricks, trying to pass off everything as being someone else's fault.  We'll make this easy; I'll just run down the list for you."

"List?  What list Drew?  What are you talking about?!"

"Believe it or not, I've been listening to what you said Cho.  Oliver didn't love you.  Cedric did.  And my journal.  So I'll go through them for you, one by one."

"But why should I listen to you about relationships, Drew?  I heard Heidi dumped you!  If you can't take care of your own, why should I trust you with mine?"

"Heidi didn't want me, specifically, just what I could do to her.  That wasn't a relationship.  Besides, have you seen my "replacement"?  Looks like he tried out to be one of Malfoy's lackeys and was rejected for being too stupid looking."

Cho's mind flashed to Crabbe and Goyle, and she quickly suppressed a giggle, instead asking, "What you could do to her?  What do you mean?"

Drew leaned over closely to Cho, and whispered a single word in her ear.  Cho's face turned red.  Her mouth opened, but no words came out.

"Now, if we've managed to re-establish my credibility as knowing what the hell I'm doing. . .  Oliver.  You're missing something there Cho.  He loved you.  Even worse, or better for you, I find it nauseating, but he was IN love with you."

"That can't be right!  Are you crazy!  It was always Quidditch Quidditch Quidditch with him!"

"So it would seem.  Thing is, Oliver just doesn't know anything about balancing priorities.  It's true that Quidditch is his future.  And while he's still here in school, working towards that future is and should be the most important thing in his life.  He just doesn't know that it doesn't need to bury everything else good in his life.  Thanks to his obsession with his potential future, not many people around here know he was in love with you.  But if you know how to watch people closely enough, you can see it just as clearly as I can see you, soaking wet right here in front of me."

Cho pressed her face into her knees, hiding her eyes.  "Then why, why did I just leave him?"

"Because he's an idiot that can't juggle his life right and that's neither what you need, nor what you want."

"Then what about Cedric?"

"I'm getting there.  He's even deeper in love with you than Oliver was.  More than Oliver ever could be, thanks to Mr. Wood's obsession with a game. But you also hurt him very badly, and repeatedly Cho."  Cho cringed, but remained silent.  "You led him on quite a few times, and every time he raised his hopes, you crushed them and went back to Oliver.  Deep down, you knew you had him waiting for you, but you were too afraid to leave Oliver for something you knew would be better suited to you.  And every time you got close to realizing it, your mind backpedaled and went right back to where it was comfortable, and thought it was safe.  Cedric wants you more than life itself, but he couldn't be expected to just wait and pine for you forever while you kept hiding under your Oliver-brand security blankie."

"I couldn't just leave Oliver!"

"Don't give me that line, Cho.  Yes, you could have.  You didn't, because you were comfortable.  You weren't in love anymore.  You still loved him, but you weren't in love with him, you were just comfortable.  It happens to most people; why do you think there are so many unhappy couples?  Right now, Cedric's comfortable again, and with someone who hasn't crushed his spirit repeatedly.  So he won't be leaving Elle for you, like you wouldn't leave Oliver for him.  You being available isn't enough, something else has to happen for those two to break up."

Cho tried to pull herself even more tightly together.

"And as for my book, I told it to show you who you were in love with.  Since you left Oliver, and you're so pissed off about Cedric, I take it the book showed you Cedric?"

Cho remained silent, holding herself tightly in a ball.

"I told you then, it just showed you what you needed to see.  What you needed to know.  To help you realize what needed to be done.  And apparently, what still needs to be done. . . Cedric's taken.  Can't do much about that, at least not if you have a conscience, which I know you do.  But you can quit yanking him around.  Don't give up on him, and keep your interest consistent instead of raising his hopes then treating him like a house elf.  Then it's just a matter of patience and waiting for the last piece to fall in place; the elimination of Elle."

"You're not making me feel much better, Drew." Cho whispered.

"Glad you decided to join the conversation.  For the record I wasn't trying to cheer you up.  If you wanted cheering up, you should have started by asking me to lie to you instead of pounding me with your fists.  Now come on, let's go." 

Drew stood up and held his hand out to her.  From beneath Drew's jacket, a small hand reached up and took it.  She kept her eyes on the ground, and meekly walked beside Drew towards the Great Hall, completely lost in thought. He said nothing to her as they entered the castle. He simply gave her a small hug and kiss on the forehead.

"Things will improve, luv.  One way or another.  And I can promise you that because not all of us have the same conscience you do."  Drew's lip curled into a grin as he shot Cho a subtle wink, turned on one heel, and walked away.

Cho slowly treaded to the Ravenclaw Wing alone. Her feet were as heavy as lead going up stairs. She could not believe how quickly her life turned around. She had everything. Everything she could ever want with boys and friends, and it was now all gone. She didn't even realize what she had until it was taken from her . . . no, until she had thrown it away. Cedric really loved her. Oliver loved her as well. But now she had neither of them. Not even a girl-friend to talk to that would understand. The only person that could understand, she had slapped in the garden.  She walked slowly into the Ravenclaw common room, and saw Jenna on the study table with her back turned to her. She tried to sneak past her, but the sloshing of her wet shoes did not allow a silent stride. However, Jenna continued her work and showed no acknowledgement of Cho's presence.

When she was in the clear, Cho dashed up the stairs and into the girl's bathroom. She fought her shivers and reminded herself that she would soon be in warm water. That's what she needed, a warm bubble bath. She stripped herself of her soaking wet robes and gathered her bath soaps. No one was using the tubs at the moment, since the middle of the afternoon was not typically when her housemates bathed.

'Good,' Cho thought to herself.

She couldn't imagine anything else that could possibly make her day worse. She turned on the faucets and poured liquid soap in the tub. She sat on the side and placed her hand under the running water and waiting for the tub to fill. When her bath was ready she charmed the windows shut to lock out any distractions. She sat in the tub with the bubble level above her shoulders. Taking baths was one of the few things that could make her feel better after rough days and today definitely called for one. She closed her eyes and let her muscles relax in the warm water and let the perfume calm her senses. Unfortunately for Cho, this sort of pleasure was temporary. Soon she would have to go back to reality and face Jenna and Cedric's relationship with Elle. But not now. Now was the time to relax and let the water wash away a bad day.

~*~*~*~

The next day was no better for Cho. It was bright and early in the morning and Cho was preoccupied in her first class, Potions with the Hufflepuffs. The weekend was almost here but she had to suffer the morning through her least favorite teacher and least favorite house members (at the moment) the cheery, bright, sunny Hufflepuffs. Although Elle wasn't in her class, she was a year older than Cho, all the kids in black and yellow were blots on the landscape. They reminded Cho of the 'golden couple,' Elle and Cedric. No doubt that they were going together to the upcoming Spring Ball. That thought depressed Cho even more. She never expected Cedric to take her when he mentioned it at the beginning of the year, but she had the slightest feeling that someone would take her.

She was beginning to doubt whether breaking it off with Oliver at this point was wise. She hadn't spoken to him after the incident. She would see him in the corner of Arithmancy class, but never looked in his direction. She was sure that he ignored her as well. Cho missed what she and Oliver had and couldn't help to think that she was a bit too hard on him. She thought for a moment whether she should talk to him again and try and get back together. After all, it seemed pointless with Cedric now. He was with Elle. So what if Drew made it clear to Cho that she loved him and he loved her and they are suppose to be together and live happily ever after! She was miserable at this stage. She would rather be in her comfort zone with Oliver than to chase a stupid dream.

Suddenly her potion started steaming and sputtered sparks. Then it started to make whistling sounds, attracting the attention of the whole room. Cho's thoughts had distracted her from her work, causing her to switch ingredients.  She peered over the rim of the cauldron and the steaming liquid exploded in her face. It wasn't hot or stinging. Actually, it felt like a splash of cool lake water . . . much like yesterday's toss in the lake. Cho wasn't injured, she just had a mess of milky liquid all over her face, clothes, and work station. When the class found that she wasn't hurt, they burst into laughter and pointed at poor Cho. It was mostly the Hufflepuffs that laughed at her. Her fellow Ravenclaws gave her disappointing looks for doing something so stupid. When she finished wiping her face, she looked up at Professor Snape peering over her with his arms firmly crossed.

"That's detention Miss Chang, for lack of common sense!" he sneered.

The Hufflepuffs tried to refrain from giggling. He narrowed his cold eyes at her and turned his heel.

"Shove it, you old greased hag." Cho whispered and slammed her napkin on the table.

Now the class fell silent. Such an outburst could be expected from Harry Potter or the Weasley twins, but not from Cho Chang! Snape froze in his tracks and twisted his neck around to glare at her.

"That's two more weeks, Chang! And I advise you to bring your Dragon Gloves! And FIFTY points from Ravenclaw!"

The class shuddered. If Snape ordered students to bring gloves to detention, then it was a clear sign that the person would be doing the most awful manual labor. When class ended, the students filed out quietly still traumatized by the task that Cho had ahead of her. Cho tried to rush out of class so she wouldn't have to stare at Snape's ugly face any longer. But that didn't stop the students from whispering and pointing behind her back. She couldn't even turn to her housemates since she lost them so many points. From losing at Quidditch, her fight with Jenna, and losing the house points, Cho quickly became the most disliked person in Ravenclaw.

~*~*~*~

That weekend Cho spent mostly to herself. Most of her friends who had significant others spent the day together in Hogsmeade for lunch and shopping. It never used to be annoying before, even when she wasn't with Oliver. Roger, Jenna, and Cedric made it seem like less of a 'couple's event.' But now, the two boys had girlfriends and she wasn't still on good terms with Jenna. The castle was fairly empty that week, so she used her free time to catch up in her schoolwork. She still wasn't brave enough to venture to the library, since she didn't feel like dealing with a single Hufflepuff today. She thought she was alone in the Ravenclaw common room, until she heard footsteps descending from the girls' dorm. She didn't feel like speaking to whomever it was, probably some silly first year, so she kept her eyes fixed on her book. The girl walked beside Cho and tapped her on the shoulder.

"Cho, can I speak with you." It was Jenna.

"Sure," Cho said quietly.

Jenna sat on the opposite side facing Cho. Cho looked up at her once and set her eyes back to her book. There was silence for several minutes.

"Cho, I. . . " Jenna started and Cho looked up. "I didn't mean what I said. . . you know. . . before in the gardens. I'm really sorry."

Cho closed her book, brought her knees to her chest and held them. She stared at Jenna for a moment and tried to study her face.

"I really shouldn't have acted that way. . ." Jenna went on. "It's just that . . ." she looked the other direction, "I was still. . ." she stopped there and sighed.

"Still in love with Oliver?" Cho finished Jenna's sentence.

Jenna still had her eyes fixed to the side and bit her lip. She looked back at Cho.

"I didn't want to tell you."

"Why?" Cho whined.

"It wasn't right! He was yours; he loved YOU and not me! It just hurt. But, it was wrong of me to let you know. Even more wrong to blow it up at you the other day."

"So . . . all this time . . . we bothered you? All the Hogsmeade trips, winter break, and lunches? I thought you were over him! I practically asked you before if it was okay for me to date him! Clearly it wasn't!  Why didn't you tell me?" Cho blurted but Jenna kept her cool.

"No, not really. It's not my decision who you or Oliver dates. And I am not still in love with him. I never really was. He was just . . .  a fun guy . . . until he became Quidditch captain."

"He still is fun."

"Of course!" Jenna stammered. "I don't doubt it. I guess I just . . . wanted him for something more, something that he couldn't give me. But he gave it to you."

Cho felt a knot tie in her stomach. She really did have something special with Oliver, and she had thrown it away. Jenna had a phenomenal beauty and great intelligence. AND she was the sweetest person to graze the face of the earth (except during her mood swings as Cho witnessed earlier in the week). Yet, Oliver would rather be serious with Cho over Jenna. Why? Jenna was near perfect and Cho looked like hogwash compared to her. But Oliver LOVED Cho. Cho suddenly realized that whatever it was, it was deeper than looks, intelligence, or grace. Oliver saw it, and Cedric saw it. She wished she knew what it was.

"I guess you could say," Jenna continued, "that I was a bit jealous of your relationship. I may have still felt a little something with Oliver. But, that's over now. And, you're far too good of a friend to lose over him."

Cho could have cried right then and there. Here was the one girl she looked up to, pouring her heart out on the table. She couldn't stay mad at Jenna forever.

"Why didn't you say anything before," Cho asked although she had an idea of what Jenna's answer would be.

"It wasn't appropriate for me to tell you. And, really, it wasn't a big deal. It wouldn't have been fair for you."

Cho thought about it, and realized that Jenna was right. She knew that Jenna couldn't help her feelings towards Oliver, but she had done the right thing to keep her distance from him while Cho and Oliver were dating. She studied Jenna's face a bit longer but already knew that she was genuine and warm.

"I'm really sorry," Jenna pleaded.

"I'm sorry for hitting you," Cho smiled.

Jenna smiled back. "I deserved it."

But, Cho sighed and frowned.

"What's wrong?" Jenna asked.

Cho was silent for a long time but Jenna waited patiently for a reply.

"It's just that. . ." Cho finally spoke, "I can't help to think that I might have made a mistake."

"By dumping Oliver?" Jenna asked.

"Yeah, I mean… he's graduating anyway and will probably move to the other side of the country."

"But that's not why you broke it off?"

"No, it wasn't that. I just started to feel something . . . for someone else. . ." Cho slowed her speech, not careful of what she slipped out. But she didn't mind. She trusted Jenna.

"Cedric."

"How did you know?" asked Cho.

"It's really obvious, Cho. He has this look in his eyes whenever he's around. Quite sickening actually." Jenna had her dry attitude back.

"Really?" Cho couldn't help but smile.

"Yeah. Of course! That rubber chicken Farnsworth, she's got nothing on you!"

Now Cho broke into laughter. The only laughter that she let out in weeks.

"Rubber chicken? How did you come up with that?" Cho giggled.

"She reminds me of a rubber chicken! Too much tanning charms does not do any good for your skin. And besides . . ." Jenna leaned in closer, "her designer SharLer bag is FAKE!"

"Fake? How can you tell?"
 
"Because, the design isn't perfectly linear. Only the Lady SharLer can do that.  Only she is that talented to conduct such intricate designs. Other witches try and copy but are still seriously flawed. You gotta watch for these things, Cho." Jenna boasted.

Cho felt a little better talking to Jenna. Even if Elle didn't have a true SharLer bag, she still had Cedric. Her Cedric.

"What do you know about Elle?"

Cho had to ask. After all, she was the same year as Jenna. Jenna pouted her lip and looked to the ceiling. She obviously had to think of this one.

"Well, she does come from a rich family. She didn't have to get a fake."

"Thanks Jenna," Cho felt a bit better about the fake bag.

"Uh. . . she is an only child, she modeled for Witch's Weekly. . ."

"So did you!"

"Yea, and like me, hates Quidditch," Jenna snapped. "And like you, dated Oliver."

"WHAT?!" Cho sputtered. "MY Oliver?! How could she? When? How did I not know?"

Cho went crazy while Jenna sat calm across her.

"What the bloody hell?" Cho yelled.

"What? You think Oliver waited seven years for your arse to show up?" Jenna smirked.

"AH! But he dated EVERY pretty girl in Hogwarts. Who ELSE!"

"Uh. . . Let me think. . . Leila, Jillian, Diane, Shania, Elle, me, and then. . . that makes you 'Lucky Seven'" Jenna giggled. "Now Cedric's picking up what Oliver left! It's hilarious. . ." Jenna again was not careful in her politics. "Oh. . . Cho I didn't mean . . . oops."

Jenna hung her head but Cho knew her intentions and was used to Jenna's crude speech.

"It doesn't sound like Elle is right for Cedric. She doesn't like Quidditch! Cedric and I used to scrimmage. We are BOTH Seekers. Cedric and I have so much in common. Such chemistry. And I couldn't help to think that he dated her for her looks," said Cho.

"Possibly, but it takes more than beauty for a guy to stay. Hard to tell with those two right now. It's only been a month. Most guys date gorgeous girls for one thing, though."

"What's that?" Cho naively asked and Jenna raised a brow.

"Tender, loving, care!"

"But, I'm tender and loving and caring!"

"Eh," Jenna blushed, "I bet you are Cho. . . I hope not yet," she whispered the last part to herself. "Look Cho," Jenna gasped and reached for Cho's hands, "Oliver may have been shallow in the past, but he turned to a beautiful young girl with such depth that he couldn't fall in love. Cedric is going through the shallow stage. You have to tread knee-deep water before you swim the ocean. He will someday reach you."

Cho felt better. Only by a little. The fact that Jenna was her friend again and gave her support raised her a little above depression. But, she only felt worse with the Cedric/Oliver issue. She still was not sure whether dropping Oliver was the right choice, but how could she ignore these new feelings for Cedric? She really liked them both. And they both meant the world to her. But she had to make a choice, and follow one road. However, her path looked dark and dim.

~*~*~*~

The weather started to heat up during April. Students discarded their scarves and thick winter coats. It was almost warm enough to splash around in the lake. Like the weather, the students had changed. Even Roger started to change. Having spent the winter working hard on himself, he'd grown more bulky and a bit taller and attracted many young girls. His new fan club annoyed Cho so much that she avoided him whenever they were present, which was all the time. Needless to say, she hardly saw him anymore. She saw Oliver in the hallways every now and then but, they did not converse. He still went out of his way to ignore her. She barely talked with Cedric too. He seemed so preoccupied with Prefect duties, school, and of course Elle. Jenna and Drew may have believed that Cedric was still in love with her, but Cho couldn't bring herself to believe it.

Every dinner, Cho's spirit faded. Mostly because she had to face Cedric and Elle holding hands across the table. She sat with her back facing the Hufflepuff table but could not help but to glance in their direction every now and then. They were always there during mealtimes, forcing Cho to lose her appetite and reject food. She had shed a several pounds over the past few months. One night, Cho could not sleep. Her body was demanding food and would be denied no longer. She put on her night robe and slippers and snuck downstairs to the kitchen. She tickled the pear on the painting to reveal the passageway. Inside there was a boy with his back facing to the door, obviously curbing his midnight cravings as well.

'Is that Cedric? Probably! Just my luck! Stuffing his fat face as usual!' Cho thought to herself, but she couldn't stand the hunger any longer. She was not going to let Cedric come between her and food. 'Okay, well, just run in . . . grab a turkey leg . . . and run out! He won't notice!'

Cho started to jog to the fridge, but slipped on a wet spot and smacked loudly against the floor.  The sound was deafening in her ears, there was no hope that Cedric hadn't heard.  She didn't want to look up. She was too embarrassed. All she saw were the feet of the boy walking towards her. She groaned at herself for being such an idiot.

"You all right, there?" said the boy in a strong Scottish accent as he extended his hand to help her up.

"O . . . Oliver?" Cho said feeling a bit relieved.

She would rather deal with Oliver than with Cedric, though she hadn't spoken to him in weeks. She accepted his hand and hoisted herself to her feet.

"What's happened to you? You look like a skeleton!" said Oliver.

"I've . . . been a bit stressed," Cho lied.

"Then I hope you came here to eat something and not to see me."

"How would I know you're here? If I were to look for you, the pitch would be the first place I'd look, even if the Quidditch season if over. By the way, congratulations on the cup. You deserved it. You worked hard."

"Thanks, Cho," Oliver sighed. "But, it's not over yet. I think I am in good standings for Puddlemere United, though nothing is official yet."

"I'm sure you'll be fine," said Cho reassuringly. "You're too good for them to reject you."

Cho reached in the fridge and grabbed the turkey leg she craved for. Oliver saw the size of the piece of meat and broke into laughter.

"Cho! That leg is bigger than you!"

"I felt like I haven't eaten in weeks."

"You look like it too."

"Thanks Oliver," Cho replied sarcastically and took a huge bit of the leg.

There was and awkward silence between the two until Oliver asked "Cho," she looked up, "do you think we just had bad timing?"

Cho placed the leg on the plate and wiped her fingers. She was starving and didn't need to deal with these sorts of questions at the moment, but deep down she needed to talk about them with Oliver. They both needed the closure.

"Probably," she whispered. "It's probably the age gap too. Well, I mean if you weren't graduating. It probably would have been better. Less pressure for time on my side at least."

"I understand," he replied, "but I have my goals and . . ."

"Yea I KNOW, Oliver," Cho interrupted. "I have goals too. And no one should give them up for an affair!"

"Affair?"

"It was different between us. I didn't mean for it to last as long as it did."

"Yea, neither did I. I just wanted something meaningful. Who knew we would have felt as strongly for each other as we did."

"When I first saw you, I fell in love with your face. It was pure physical attraction back then. I never knew we were going to feel the same way about each other too."

"Of course," Oliver laughed. "You weren't the only one that felt this way."

"We were good together weren't we?" Cho smiled. Oliver looked at his bowl.

"Cho . . . I have to ask," Oliver hesitated, "was it my busy schedule that broke us up?"

"No. Not really," replied Cho. "Honestly Oliver, it took some adjusting the first couple of months we dated. But I learned to be more independent. I found that I liked the space."

"Then what happened?!" Oliver gasped as a reached for her greasy hands.

Cho was irritated. She wanted, no, needed to eat.  Then they could talk. However, his eyes were desperate for an answer. Deciding to be a lady about it, she pulled back her hands and wiped the turkey grease from them. Oliver hands remained in the same spot. Cho had to think about her answer for a minute. For the past couple of weeks, she really did miss Oliver. But now after seeing him, she realized it wasn't HIM that she missed it was what they had together. A special bond that they only shared. True love that felt like it would have stopped the Universe. She swallowed hard. It all came clear to her now. Looking at Oliver, she realized that she could not have that same feeling with him again. His time was over. He retracted his hands and grazed coldness over his face. He then wiped off the mess that she left on his hands.

"You know what happened," Cho sighed and blinked hard.

"Of course," he scoffed, "you demanded so much attention. And no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't live up to it." He threw his hands up in the air in frustration, "I tried!"

"Oliver," Cho reached for his hands but he already retracted them to his chest, "it wasn't that! I just told you that I was happy. Very happy."

"Don't give me that answer, Cho."

"What do you want, then?" Cho was getting aggravated.

"I want the REAL answer!"

Cho sat dizzy staring at her turkey leg. She was so hungry that she would have told Oliver anything to get him quiet.

"All right! I like Cedric! It wasn't fair for you! Are you happy?" she pouted.

There was silence for several minutes and Cho took this time to finish her meat. She left the table for the fridge and brought back a glass of pumpkin juice. She met Oliver's eyes when she sat back down. He looked somewhat satisfied.

"I knew it," he finally said.

"You did?" Cho replied.

"Of course, I just wanted to hear it from you."

"What difference does it make?"

"Cho," Oliver whispered, "I'm not sure what difference it makes. It just feels better to hear you admit it."

"Yea," Cho said, "I guess you would."

"Well, it's better this way."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, the way I figure," Oliver sighed, "if I'm getting a Quidditch job far away, then there is no guarantees for us. And, it would just kill me to hear about you and Cedric." He advert his eyes and ruffled his brow. "It still would. . ."

"Oliver. . ."

"Well, if you really do like him . . . then I guess . . .  I would rather see you with him than . . . than with Flint or a Weasley."

Cho perked in surprise and at the same time shuddered at the sound of her paired with Flint.

"Bastard's with Elle now," she sighed.

"Elle? Elle Farnsworth?!" Oliver chuckled. "Bloke won't last a week!"

He continued to laugh at the idea. He seemed to adjust better now that Cho finally told Oliver the real reason of breaking up. He had his closure. They could now be friends.

"A week! It's been FOUR weeks!"

"You don't say?" Oliver furrowed his brows and thought hard. "Wonder what he's got that I don't . . . hmmm . . .  I got the Quidditch Cup so I'm the better captain, I'm definitely more handsome . . . he looks like a girl . . . and most importantly," Oliver grasped Cho's hands and smirked cockily, "they don't call me 'Wood' for nothing, do they girl?"

"Oliver!"  Cho shrieked and pulled back her hands. "That's wrong!"

"Seriously," Oliver said, "Elle isn't the kind of girl that you would want something serious with, if you know what I mean, Cho. She's about as loose as Jen . . ." Oliver tried to stop but it was too late.

"Jenna?"

"Er . . . Well," Oliver blushed.

"It's okay, she told me."

"I didn't mean to hurt her. She just . . . wasn't for me. Anyway Cho, the point that I'm trying to make is that guys want to snog with as many girls as they can before the settle with the right one."

"You sound like Jenna."

"She is a very intelligent girl . . . and creative. . ." he smirked and look to the side.

"Ah! Oliver!" Cho smacked him playfully.

"Sorry," he said. "But am I making any sense?"

"Yes," Cho sighed. "It's getting late. I think I'm going to bed."

Before Oliver could reply, Cho turned from the table and headed to the door.

"Cho?!" Oliver grabbed her arm. She turned and looked at him. "Please don't be a stranger."

Cho smiled. Her relationship with Oliver as his girlfriend may have been stressful, but she had a funny feeling that their relationship as friends would be fifty times better. She gave Oliver a warm hug, kissed him on the cheek, and left the kitchen.

"Goodbye Miss Chang," Oliver whispered to himself as he blinked hard to retract the tears that started to form. "You will always be my first love. . ."

When she returned to her dorm she found that Heidi was up and watering a dead plant.

"Heidi, what are you doing up so late," Cho asked.

"You're plant has been neglected for weeks, Cho," said Heidi as she lifted the wilted flowers. "I couldn't stand it anymore. I tried to charm it but there was nothing I could do. Well, I'm going to the potty and then getting something to drink," said Heidi as she left the room. "See you in the morning."

Cho looked upon the wilting flowers and felt as if her heart had shattered into a million pieces. They were the same flowers that Cedric risked his neck to give to her in secret. She remembered from Drew's journal that Cedric climbed a tree in the forbidden forest to pick these for her. They would bloom as long as he loved her, but now they hung to the table browned. Cho looked at the near dead flowers and felt as if her body froze. In frustration, she threw the vase to the other side of the room. The dead petals and stems soaked in water covered the dorm room floor. The vase didn't break, but rolled back and forth on the floor as if it were taunting her. Water spilled on the table dripped to the floor in a loud tone and heart pounding rhythm. She stared for a moment at the dead flowers swimming in the puddle of water straining for a last ounce of life. But to her they were as dead as Cedric's love for her.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

~*Phaedra Note*~

This chapter was harder to write than what I expected. I intended for this to be another short chapter, somewhat of a bridge between two big scenes. However, scenes just keep coming to me. That's what you guys want isn't it? Well, the story is now in April of their school year which means that the story is almost finished. So far, I'm planning to write a sequel and would post that up at the same time as I post the final chapter. I think I may lose the Cho-Oliver shippers since he is graduating and I don't see much reference to him in GOF. At least I can portray Harry through her eyes. Anyways, that's all brainstorming now. Let me know what you think when if you write me a review. Also, it would be nice if you let me know what you want to see. (This is also a test to see who has been reading my closing statements!)

Yes, I'm sure you're all pissed off of where this story is headed. Especially with the responses that I'm getting after the previous chapter. Remember . . . the story is NOT YET FINISHED!! J Almost there. . .

Look out for Chapter 15 – Tying the Knot! It's the long awaited Spring Ball and detention for Cho heats up.

0=|==Kaihn-note-tation

"What self-inflicted psychological trauma are you trying to blame me for?"  I love that line.  I also love the return of Drew, but I'm sorta biased in his favor. 

Not much longer left.  Will we have resolution this school year?  Or must we hang on until next year for the rubber chicken girl to go away?  Stay tuned, same Phaedra time, same Phaedra channel.