This is going somewhere....I swear it. I just have to get through a couple
of more chapters before the real fluff begins. Trust me, it'll be worth the
wait. At least I hope it will be. Also, this chapter has turned into a
mini song fic. I couldn't help it...
Disclaimer: I do not own Cowboy Bebop or Sheryl Crow's "Strong Enough"
A Life Full Of Saturdays - Strong Enough To Be My Man
Faye held on tighter to her slender arms as the cool wind from the north of Mars flew down. The night had just been getting too weird for her liking as she danced with Spike in order to keep away from Vicious. She didn't have the right to do that, and she knew it, but she just couldn't let herself let him go off to meet death. Things were too perfect at that moment to be ruined by a sadistic man with dreams of killing his former best friend. And the night had ended with Chuck Sukimoto leaving with his posse and disappearing into the night scene of clubs and bars. So much for bounty hunting. Spike hadn't been much company after Vicious' reappearance and chose to remain silent for the rest of the night. Faye could understand, at least she thought she could. She shook her head vigorously behind Spike. No, she couldn't understand. She didn't know what it was like to be betrayed by your best friend, lose the love of your life, and vanish from a deadly mafia of sinister men. And even if she did experience something along those lines, it's not like she could remember them. She shivered once more as she watched Spike invoke in a cigarette break. She didn't even think he noticed her presence, so imagine her surprise when he discarded his tuxedo jacket and dropped it upon her bear shoulders.
"You should've brought your jacket."
"I forgot." It was the only thing Faye could manage to say as she wrapped the man's coat tightly around her frame. He was so distant now. And the distance wasn't the kind that daydreamers persue. Spike was in a deadly daze that he couldn't get out of until his blood lust was taken care of. They walked up to the Swordfish side by side, only this time, when Spike held out his hand to help Faye up into the ship, she refused.
"Aren't you coming?"
"No. Actually, I thought i'd get a drink before I headed back to the Bebop."
"Have it your way.", Spike huffed. Faye backed up as the Swordfish took off from sight. Faye sighed and proceeded to walk back to the ritzy bar she had spotted inside the room where she and Spike had danced. She sat herself square in the middle and ordered a vodka on the rocks. Before she knew it, a large figure was sitting beside her, ordering the exact same drink.
That voice. It was the same voice that had led her to discover Gren's secret. It was the same voice that was still able to send chills down her spine every time she heard it. Her eyes widened, yet she managed to keep her cool as the bartender slid her drink over to her.
"Hello Faye."
"Vicious." Out of the corner of her eye, she could see him grin. She bit her tounge from giving the monster a verbal lashing. She still blamed him for the death of Gren. Gren. She had never before felt so safe, so carefree, as if she had no problem in the world with letting her walls down, then she had with that man. He didn't involve her in his problems and treated her with care. If he had lived through his personal ordeal, there was no telling how their friendship could've evolved. They were similar in that they were both lonely. Faye not having a past to live by and Gren not being able to live a normal life period.
"I take it you're still bitter?"
"What do I owe the pleasure of your presence here tonight?" Vicious set down the small glass and peered down into the alcoholic beverage.
"I am offering you freedom. Join the Syndicate and forget about everything. Create a new life. Leave Spike to his miserable demise."
"What makes you think I give a damn about you or that lunkhead?" She signaled for another drink. She would need as many as possible after this confrontation.
"I saw the way you held him while dancing. The clinging, the need, the want you have for him." Faye remained quiet. She didn't want to hear all this for the man was speaking the truth. She wanted nothing more than to pause life for that moment just so she could hold Spike. "Even now, as I speak of him, your mind wanders back to a few hours ago. You wouldn't have to live in Julia's shadow if you joined forces with me." Faye gulped down the last of her vodka and stood to leave.
"I have to go now."
"Think about what I said, Faye." Faye lowered her head so the silver haired demon couldn't catch the tears forming in her kelly eyes. She signaled for the Redtail and in less than five minutes, her ship had landed and opened its cockpit like a loyal dog. Faye's heart was heavy. Never before in her life had she ever have to make a decision that could make or break two people. If she joined the Syndicate she would be free from the reign Spike had placed on her the moment he laid his mismatched eyes on her. On the other hand, she would betraying Gren, herself, and Spike. Gren died by Vicious' hand and he had almost killed both her and Spike. Plus, Vicious was Spike's sworn enemy, and she, his silently pronounced comrade. Faye entered the Bebop with a forlorn look hanging over her features. It was so noticable that even Jet was afraid to question her whereabouts. She threw her body onto her bed, crushing her pillow with head and nails.
God I feel like hell tonight
Tears of rage I cannot fight
I'd be the last to help you understand
Are you strong enough to be my man?
She couldn't do it. She couldn't just go out and leave behind everything she had worked for up until now. Tears now trailed down her cheeks and she sat up to face the wall, letting her violet locks free of the pins that held it up. Her head was pounding and it wasn't from the alcohol. She couldn't replace Julia. She never could. But she wanted to so badly.
Nothing's true and nothing's right
So let me be alone tonight
Cause you can't change the way I am
Are you strong enough to be my man?
Lie to me
I promise i'll believe
Lie to me
But please don't leave
She wasn't the golden haired beauty that haunted Spike's dream and every waking moment. She was Faye. The hard-luck, violet haired, green eyed, woman with an attitude who rarely let her emotions show. A soft knock brought her from her thoughts and she quickly tried to hide the evidence of her woes.
"Who is it?"
"It's Spike. I need that jacket back. Are you at least half decent?" Faye managed a smile and opened the door for Spike. She was met with a worried, yes worried, frown.
"Were you crying?"
"No. I....It's nothing. Just allergies." She handed Spike the ebony coat, only now, he was sitting on her bed and facing the wall like she had done a few moments ago.
"You're a bad liar. Look, Faye about tonight..." She gulped. She felt like a teenager being dumped and Faye Valentine was not one to be dumped.
"No it's okay Spike. I know what is expected of you. Nothing more than friendship. I understand."
"Do you?" What did he mean by that? "Look Faye, tonight could have been a close encounter with death and in the next few weeks, I may not be around for awhile. I have to take care of this vendetta." No not like this. She didn't want him to leave. Not for the silly reason of chasing his past.
I have a face I cannot show
I make the rules up as I go
It's try and love me if you can
Are you strong enough to be my man?
When i've shown you that I just don't care
When i'm throwing punches in the air
When i'm broken down and I can't stand
Would you be man enough to me my man?
Tears were now falling freely and she lunged herself at the cowboy, fists balled up and pounding on his chest. She had never attacked him from pure frustration before, and she didn't like it. But who was he to tell her now, after all this time, that he wasn't sticking around.
"Damn you Spike Spiegel! You're so selfish!! So damn selfish! Don't you dare tell me this!! Don't you dare!!" The punches were thrown and Spike finally caught one in each hand, staring intently into Faye's face. He had never seen an outburst from her like this. Why start now? Unless she cared more than she let on. Faye collapsed against Spike's chest, unto which he set her gently down on the bed. He peered over his shoulder once more at the woman before turning to leave. She would have one more chance to see before he left her completely...
Lie to me
I promise i'll believe
Lie to me
But please don't leave
It was two days later that Ed knew the location of a waterfall in Faye's video of her thirteen year old self. They had ventured out and even managed to find some information but nothing re-logging Faye's memory. She now placed her head agaisnt the tile of the shower stall, longing to remember. But it wasn't...there isn't....
'That may stay like that if you never change it.' Who...
'If you're bored than you're boring - and you're not a boring girl Faye.' Who are you...?
'A life full of Satudays...'
'Love you hun.'
'Love you too Dad.' Daddy...
'I was at my brightest moment when YOU WEREN'T AROUND!!' You weren't around....you never were. Daddy...
'I'm probably driving everyone around me crazy. Sorry I don't mean to.' Come back to me...
As if lightning had struck at that moment and turned on a little light bulb in Faye's mind, memories came rushing back. The accident, her fight with her mother, her father twirling her around in the park, her cheeleading days in junior high, home...
She rushed over to the brick home she had grown up in as fast as she could, only to find a pile of rubble where the abode had once stood. Hopeless. She found where she belonged and she couldn't go back to it. Unless this wasn't where she belonged.
~Flashback~
"Home is where the heart is..." Spencer and Faye sat on a dock watching the sun fade over them. They had just graduated highschool and knew that their lives were on a whole new path.
"What the hell are you talking about Spenc?" She lightly nudged him but he remained serious.
"I mean, we all think that home is where you live. Not me. When we were neighbors, and shared our first kiss. That was home. That's where my heart still is." Faye blushed at his recollection of that day.
"Look Faye. I don't how we'll end up, but I do know this. For some crazy I think that me and you aren't meant to be. But it's odd, I can see the man's face, I just don't quite know who he is. Funny thing is, he looks just like me. And I feel....no I know.....your home is with him...."
~End~
The Bebop. Home is where the heart is and in twenty four hours Faye would watch her home, heart, her life walk away from her. Spencer had shown her more than she knew at that time. Not only was he speaking of Spike, but he was speaking of everything. The Bebop, Ed, Ein, Jet, and Spike. Faye stared up at the amber glow of the sunset. I mentioned before that fate has a funny way of working things out. They make your life a complicated soap opera before giving you the plot that brings it all together. Faye's plot was set before her and as the sky became lit up will millions upon billions of stars, Faye was able to catch the dimming a of a certain star. You can't predict death. You can come close but life always manages to tweak that one nerve and screw it all up. She had one second chance and she would be damned if she would lose it now...
And now.....a song for all of you - My bologna has a first name, it's O-S-C-A-R. My bologna has a second name it's M-A-Y-E-R. Oh I love to eat it everyday and if you ask my why i'll saaaaaayyyyy - Cuz Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A!
Disclaimer: I do not own Cowboy Bebop or Sheryl Crow's "Strong Enough"
A Life Full Of Saturdays - Strong Enough To Be My Man
Faye held on tighter to her slender arms as the cool wind from the north of Mars flew down. The night had just been getting too weird for her liking as she danced with Spike in order to keep away from Vicious. She didn't have the right to do that, and she knew it, but she just couldn't let herself let him go off to meet death. Things were too perfect at that moment to be ruined by a sadistic man with dreams of killing his former best friend. And the night had ended with Chuck Sukimoto leaving with his posse and disappearing into the night scene of clubs and bars. So much for bounty hunting. Spike hadn't been much company after Vicious' reappearance and chose to remain silent for the rest of the night. Faye could understand, at least she thought she could. She shook her head vigorously behind Spike. No, she couldn't understand. She didn't know what it was like to be betrayed by your best friend, lose the love of your life, and vanish from a deadly mafia of sinister men. And even if she did experience something along those lines, it's not like she could remember them. She shivered once more as she watched Spike invoke in a cigarette break. She didn't even think he noticed her presence, so imagine her surprise when he discarded his tuxedo jacket and dropped it upon her bear shoulders.
"You should've brought your jacket."
"I forgot." It was the only thing Faye could manage to say as she wrapped the man's coat tightly around her frame. He was so distant now. And the distance wasn't the kind that daydreamers persue. Spike was in a deadly daze that he couldn't get out of until his blood lust was taken care of. They walked up to the Swordfish side by side, only this time, when Spike held out his hand to help Faye up into the ship, she refused.
"Aren't you coming?"
"No. Actually, I thought i'd get a drink before I headed back to the Bebop."
"Have it your way.", Spike huffed. Faye backed up as the Swordfish took off from sight. Faye sighed and proceeded to walk back to the ritzy bar she had spotted inside the room where she and Spike had danced. She sat herself square in the middle and ordered a vodka on the rocks. Before she knew it, a large figure was sitting beside her, ordering the exact same drink.
That voice. It was the same voice that had led her to discover Gren's secret. It was the same voice that was still able to send chills down her spine every time she heard it. Her eyes widened, yet she managed to keep her cool as the bartender slid her drink over to her.
"Hello Faye."
"Vicious." Out of the corner of her eye, she could see him grin. She bit her tounge from giving the monster a verbal lashing. She still blamed him for the death of Gren. Gren. She had never before felt so safe, so carefree, as if she had no problem in the world with letting her walls down, then she had with that man. He didn't involve her in his problems and treated her with care. If he had lived through his personal ordeal, there was no telling how their friendship could've evolved. They were similar in that they were both lonely. Faye not having a past to live by and Gren not being able to live a normal life period.
"I take it you're still bitter?"
"What do I owe the pleasure of your presence here tonight?" Vicious set down the small glass and peered down into the alcoholic beverage.
"I am offering you freedom. Join the Syndicate and forget about everything. Create a new life. Leave Spike to his miserable demise."
"What makes you think I give a damn about you or that lunkhead?" She signaled for another drink. She would need as many as possible after this confrontation.
"I saw the way you held him while dancing. The clinging, the need, the want you have for him." Faye remained quiet. She didn't want to hear all this for the man was speaking the truth. She wanted nothing more than to pause life for that moment just so she could hold Spike. "Even now, as I speak of him, your mind wanders back to a few hours ago. You wouldn't have to live in Julia's shadow if you joined forces with me." Faye gulped down the last of her vodka and stood to leave.
"I have to go now."
"Think about what I said, Faye." Faye lowered her head so the silver haired demon couldn't catch the tears forming in her kelly eyes. She signaled for the Redtail and in less than five minutes, her ship had landed and opened its cockpit like a loyal dog. Faye's heart was heavy. Never before in her life had she ever have to make a decision that could make or break two people. If she joined the Syndicate she would be free from the reign Spike had placed on her the moment he laid his mismatched eyes on her. On the other hand, she would betraying Gren, herself, and Spike. Gren died by Vicious' hand and he had almost killed both her and Spike. Plus, Vicious was Spike's sworn enemy, and she, his silently pronounced comrade. Faye entered the Bebop with a forlorn look hanging over her features. It was so noticable that even Jet was afraid to question her whereabouts. She threw her body onto her bed, crushing her pillow with head and nails.
God I feel like hell tonight
Tears of rage I cannot fight
I'd be the last to help you understand
Are you strong enough to be my man?
She couldn't do it. She couldn't just go out and leave behind everything she had worked for up until now. Tears now trailed down her cheeks and she sat up to face the wall, letting her violet locks free of the pins that held it up. Her head was pounding and it wasn't from the alcohol. She couldn't replace Julia. She never could. But she wanted to so badly.
Nothing's true and nothing's right
So let me be alone tonight
Cause you can't change the way I am
Are you strong enough to be my man?
Lie to me
I promise i'll believe
Lie to me
But please don't leave
She wasn't the golden haired beauty that haunted Spike's dream and every waking moment. She was Faye. The hard-luck, violet haired, green eyed, woman with an attitude who rarely let her emotions show. A soft knock brought her from her thoughts and she quickly tried to hide the evidence of her woes.
"Who is it?"
"It's Spike. I need that jacket back. Are you at least half decent?" Faye managed a smile and opened the door for Spike. She was met with a worried, yes worried, frown.
"Were you crying?"
"No. I....It's nothing. Just allergies." She handed Spike the ebony coat, only now, he was sitting on her bed and facing the wall like she had done a few moments ago.
"You're a bad liar. Look, Faye about tonight..." She gulped. She felt like a teenager being dumped and Faye Valentine was not one to be dumped.
"No it's okay Spike. I know what is expected of you. Nothing more than friendship. I understand."
"Do you?" What did he mean by that? "Look Faye, tonight could have been a close encounter with death and in the next few weeks, I may not be around for awhile. I have to take care of this vendetta." No not like this. She didn't want him to leave. Not for the silly reason of chasing his past.
I have a face I cannot show
I make the rules up as I go
It's try and love me if you can
Are you strong enough to be my man?
When i've shown you that I just don't care
When i'm throwing punches in the air
When i'm broken down and I can't stand
Would you be man enough to me my man?
Tears were now falling freely and she lunged herself at the cowboy, fists balled up and pounding on his chest. She had never attacked him from pure frustration before, and she didn't like it. But who was he to tell her now, after all this time, that he wasn't sticking around.
"Damn you Spike Spiegel! You're so selfish!! So damn selfish! Don't you dare tell me this!! Don't you dare!!" The punches were thrown and Spike finally caught one in each hand, staring intently into Faye's face. He had never seen an outburst from her like this. Why start now? Unless she cared more than she let on. Faye collapsed against Spike's chest, unto which he set her gently down on the bed. He peered over his shoulder once more at the woman before turning to leave. She would have one more chance to see before he left her completely...
Lie to me
I promise i'll believe
Lie to me
But please don't leave
It was two days later that Ed knew the location of a waterfall in Faye's video of her thirteen year old self. They had ventured out and even managed to find some information but nothing re-logging Faye's memory. She now placed her head agaisnt the tile of the shower stall, longing to remember. But it wasn't...there isn't....
'That may stay like that if you never change it.' Who...
'If you're bored than you're boring - and you're not a boring girl Faye.' Who are you...?
'A life full of Satudays...'
'Love you hun.'
'Love you too Dad.' Daddy...
'I was at my brightest moment when YOU WEREN'T AROUND!!' You weren't around....you never were. Daddy...
'I'm probably driving everyone around me crazy. Sorry I don't mean to.' Come back to me...
As if lightning had struck at that moment and turned on a little light bulb in Faye's mind, memories came rushing back. The accident, her fight with her mother, her father twirling her around in the park, her cheeleading days in junior high, home...
She rushed over to the brick home she had grown up in as fast as she could, only to find a pile of rubble where the abode had once stood. Hopeless. She found where she belonged and she couldn't go back to it. Unless this wasn't where she belonged.
~Flashback~
"Home is where the heart is..." Spencer and Faye sat on a dock watching the sun fade over them. They had just graduated highschool and knew that their lives were on a whole new path.
"What the hell are you talking about Spenc?" She lightly nudged him but he remained serious.
"I mean, we all think that home is where you live. Not me. When we were neighbors, and shared our first kiss. That was home. That's where my heart still is." Faye blushed at his recollection of that day.
"Look Faye. I don't how we'll end up, but I do know this. For some crazy I think that me and you aren't meant to be. But it's odd, I can see the man's face, I just don't quite know who he is. Funny thing is, he looks just like me. And I feel....no I know.....your home is with him...."
~End~
The Bebop. Home is where the heart is and in twenty four hours Faye would watch her home, heart, her life walk away from her. Spencer had shown her more than she knew at that time. Not only was he speaking of Spike, but he was speaking of everything. The Bebop, Ed, Ein, Jet, and Spike. Faye stared up at the amber glow of the sunset. I mentioned before that fate has a funny way of working things out. They make your life a complicated soap opera before giving you the plot that brings it all together. Faye's plot was set before her and as the sky became lit up will millions upon billions of stars, Faye was able to catch the dimming a of a certain star. You can't predict death. You can come close but life always manages to tweak that one nerve and screw it all up. She had one second chance and she would be damned if she would lose it now...
And now.....a song for all of you - My bologna has a first name, it's O-S-C-A-R. My bologna has a second name it's M-A-Y-E-R. Oh I love to eat it everyday and if you ask my why i'll saaaaaayyyyy - Cuz Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A!