Amber Eyes

Chapter 13: Gone

Summary READ THE STORY!!!

I sat and wept by his side, waiting for him to wake up, if ever. I never left his side, never. If the nurse, Megumi, hadn't forced me to eat, I probably would have starved to death, but that was fine with me. I would die next to him if she had let me. I would have gladly, after all, it was my fault that he was there in the first place, no matter how hard Megumi tried to tell me that it wasn't.

She may have been trying to cheer me up, but the only thing that could help me now, was Kenshin's beautiful smile. (A/N that would cheer me up too drool) Megumi had asked me to go home many times before, after Kenshin staying when I had a head wound, how was I to be able to go home and leave him there? Did she put him through that much trouble? Saying he should go home? All I knew is that after a while it began to get annoying and I felt like I wanted to slap her so that she would shut up. She sure cared enough about her patients and about their visitors thats for sure.
I felt worse every time I looked at him. Seeing him weak on the bed, unable to open his eyes or even speak to me, I wanted to puke after a while. So finally, I just stopped looking at him. If I ever took my head out of the sheets, I would look at the wall, making sure not to look at his unconcious eyes. I wasn't sure how much sleep I got while I sat there with him, not really quite sure if I got any sleep at all.

Every once in a while I would dose off but I don't exactly call it sleep when you can hear the people talking about how sorry they were for you. Don't feel sorry for me, I thought, Kenshin is the one dying. Thats when it ocurred to me, Kenshin.. was dying. As those thoughts went through my head tears flowed out my eyes like never before. How am I going to survive without him? Without noticing that my thoughts were being spoken aloud, I sobbed "Why can't I die, why does he suffer because of me? I want to die right n- " something stopped me from finishing my sentence.

Somehow Kenshin had put a finger over my mouth, like he had done so many times. His eyes were still closed, his body unmoved besides the one hand that was keeping my mouth shut. To this day I don't know how he could manage that, not in the condition he was in.
No one was in the room when the sudden movement caused me to go speachless. For some reason I didn't want to tell anyone about the experience, even if I did, they probably wouldn't believe me anyways. It was my secret, well, unless Kenshin remembered the action taking place. That action meant a lot more than just not to say what I was thinking. It meant that there was still a chance, that Kenshin still had a little strength left in him. It meant that I had to look at him, and I did.

I started to notice that color was returning to his cheeks, yet he was still paler than normal. My feelings completely changed about the condition he was in, he was going to be okay, he would still be there if I went to sleep. So I did. I took a long rest, and dreamed of him.
I dreamed that Kenshin was alive and awake. That he was holding me in his arms as he caressed my skin. He was saying that it was okay and that he was always going no matter what I did. That dream suddenly turned into a nightmare.

I was holding him as he held me, then I felt something wet on my chest. I looked down and saw blood, Kenshin's blood. A stunned look was on his face as he fell backwards, thats when I saw the murderer. It was another red haired man, he had golden eyes.

He was a lot like Kenshin, but he had a scary face, as if he were proud of what he had done. Tears poured out of my eyes, I would swear that it was real. The man pulled Kenshin out of my arms, as I tried so hard to keep him there, he looked at me and laughed, thats when I figured out who it was. It was Kenshin's father, he had come back to make my life even more miserable. Kenshin muttered his last words as he slowly closed his eyes "Kao...ru."

I woke up in a puddle of my own tears. Kenshin was still by my side, his hand was still in mine as I had left it. Thank goodness. He is still here, it was only a dream. I knew that I had been dreaming, but I had to see him to make sure. It never occured to me that I had been woken up by someone unil Megumi caught my attention. "You were calling Mr. Himura's name, I rushed in thinking something was wrong." I wasn't used to hearing someone call him 'Mr. Himura.' I had always heard Kenshin.

I don't think I ever even said his last name. I was about to be Mrs. Himura and I had never said his last name. I picked up his hand and kissed his palm, I had to kiss him, if not in anyway but on his hand.

When my lips touched his hands I felt some kind of movement, it was if he was waiting for me to kiss him. Waiting for me to show him that I loved him. His hand clasped around mine as I was holding it. Megumi saw it this time, she was stunned. A thought struck me, would he wake up if I really kissed him? I doubted it very seriously, but for some reason I had to try. I reached up and gave him a little kiss on the lips. Something I felt something come into my mouth, he was kissing me back. It surprised me, making me fall backwards. He was still asleep, why did I even bother trying? the tingle was still on my lips, oh yeah, thats why. That was a perfectly good reason to kiss him. (A/N any reason is good to kiss Kenshin lol)

I was to scared to go back to sleep. That dream horrified me too badly, there was no way I was going to sleep that way again. Besides that, the feelings of him leaving this world had come back to my mind. I refused to wake up and see that he was gone.

Later on I figured out that I had to sleep. If Kenshin saw me awake, looking like I had, then he would feel bad. That was the last thing I wanted. So I went to sleep so that I would look more presentable in case he came back. I still had some bad dreams, and I still had to look at Kenshin when I woke up from them, but that was part of life. One day, I didn't see his unconcious body lying before me. I didn't see him at all. I was alone, nothing in my hand, no one at my side. "Kenshin?" someone touched my shoulder, then, before I was able to turn around, that person covered my eyes.
"Guess who?"