Amber Eyes
Chapter 25: Pain in Paradise
Summary: Kaoru's last thoughts as she dies.
I couldn't move, couldn't speak, I didn't know if I could do anything. Everything suddenly got cold, but I felt no pain. I saw Kenshin pail and suffering and the only thing running through my head was, "Why?" Why was I dying? What did I do? Kenji, Kenji needs me, I can't just give up, I can't.
I reached my hand out towards the sky, I felt hot tears of anger stream down my face. Anger caused by the man who is separating me from my son and my husband, but obviously Kenshin didn't see me move.
Kenshin slowly got up, I no longer saw mercy in his eyes, only pure anger and hatred. I had never seen Kenshin like that. Never. I no longer wanted him to be like that, but I felt a sudden depressed emotion. Like nothing was there anymore, like nothing mattered. Not sad really, more like, like everything was going to be okay, like I had no need to worry anymore. My life just fluttered by as I lay there, cold and still.
It seemed as though everthing was going in slow motion, I could see Kenshin walking, and I reached out to him. I saw my hand in front of my face, but no matter how close I got to him, I never touched him. He was just too far away. I spoke to myself ignorantly, not really realizing what I was talking about. Nothing made any sense, I wanted to scream as I saw scenes of Kenshin carrying me home after I was ill, scenes of him smiling talking to me, when he proposed to me. I saw more though, I also saw Megumi and Sano, them with their baby, Misao, Yahiko, Aoshi. I saw all of them, and I knew then, I was dying.
I stood, or at least I thought I did. I looked at my lifeless body below me, then at Kenshin walking towards his father. "Die, just die already." Kenshin was so....so angry. So mad about my death. I heard his inner voice crying, sobbing. I could hear it inside my head. I wanted to sooth him, just to touch him and tell him I'm okay, but it was impossible, he wasn't listening to anything even if I could speak. All he knew then was anger.
"Why?? I haven't died yet! She shouldn't be dead!"
"Your son is next." By that time I actually felt like that man should indeed die, no matter what the consequences, no one, at all, will threaten my son after my death.
"I don't think so. I think you are." His eyes were glowing yellow like I had never seen. They seemed like a revengeful flame, seeking some kind of food to burn. It's prey? Maashi. Maashi was going to die, and I was to be no help, after all, Kenshin could do that on his own. Before I knew it Kenshin was gone. He had disapeared before me, and when he apeared again, his sword was in the side of a mass murderer.
Of course Maashi wasn't going to go down so easily, Kensin barely dodged his next attack. Kenshin did need my help after all, so I did sooth him, I reached inside of him and told him, that I was here. That I was always next to him, and this time I would give him my skills, so I did. Somehow I reached out to him and got him to learn the Kamiya Kashin style, to use it as I did. Since his father only knew the Hiten Mitsurugi style, he knew nothing of what Kenshin was doing.
With the combination of Kenshin's speed and my fighting style, we were, in short, whipping his butt. And he knew it. But Kenshin couldn't keep up this fighting for much longer, not in this condition. It was a perfect time for my original move. So I told it to Kenshin, and I used it through his body.
I was heading straight towards him when he brought up his sword and disapeared, so I did the next step and I jumped, high, aimed and headed straight for the ground, where he stood. It landed right on target, and Maashi was close to death. I didn't kill him though, no I am not as cruel as he. I am not going to let him die, nor was Kenshin.
When the battle was over, it was time to go. I said my final good- bye to my love and gave him a message to Kenji. I wanted him to know that I loved him, and I wish that I could stay, but shortly after, it became dark, and I could no longer see his face, I once again, heard him sob. I wanted to cry myself, but I somehow couldn't.
I was brought into darkness, only seeing black only feeling cold air. I wasn't sure where I was, then I saw a small path way, and decided to follow it.
At the end of the long and curved path, was a small tunnel, filled with light, even though I never go anywhere without knowing where first, I was crawling through the tunnel before I had a chance to think about it. On the other side, were my parents. My father held out his hands to me, and said "Welcome home Kaoru."
I was home, as much as I wanted to be with Kenshin and Kenji, I was home. Kenshin would be here someday, I knew that, but besides that, I had met someone Kenshin had once told me about. Tomoe.
She was tall and pale faced, with great manners. She was always so quiet, she only spoke when spoken to. Even though we weren't on earth anymore, I still slept and ate. It was a lot like being on earth, except no more pain and sadness. It was perfect, except Kenshin.
I would look down on him sometimes, I would see him crying over me, I would see Kenji taking his first steps. I was having pain in heaven. Is this possible? Is it possible to be in grief while in paradise? All I knew was that I felt that.
When Kenji spoke his first words, when Kenji started speaking in complete sentences, when Kenshin was sent a pink slip from school saying that his son had been talking in class. Kenji was growing up without me, and Kenshin was all alone dealing with the stages of life.
A small child who always needed care, a fun pre-teen, a teen-ager. Kenji went to prom without me being there to fix his outfit,(A/N: If they had prom...?) or to tell him he was growing up, I wasn't there on his wedding day, let alone his first date, I didn't see him graduate, or have a child. I was left out in all that. And I thought heaven was supposed to be perfect.
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I am finished finally. I hope you enjoyed my story very much. I know that the ending is kinda bad in more ways than one. Like how it sucked as in my literary skills. Anyways, there is no lesson to be learned. It is just a good story to read. I am glad to have had so many reviewers for this story, and I am glad that so many have read it. I would like for people to read my other stories such as my songfics and Trigun stories, and I would also like you to please review them. Thank you again, --Dark Pyro Angel