Lol, this is most likely the most farfetched Starcraft idea ever.I've had in a long time. But, you know, a couple chapters of humor won't hurt.
NOTE: IF They're are any spelling errors, I will correct them at a future time, please, it there are any, do not comment on them
A story in the new series SWS(Starcraft Western Series).
Disclaimer: I do not own Starcraft, or any of the Heroes, units, or structures, that may appear in here, other then those I may create.
Copyright: This story, and all others in the series, Copyrighted 2002, by BM&S Publishing Company
[A/N Feb, 2010: Various spelling, grammar, and technical errors fixed. Any remaining ones are likely there for the sake of dialect.
And I don't care what your interpretation of my title is. If you're anywhere near a good reader or writer, you should know that a title means little. Don't complain if I use a semi-dramatic title for a parody. It just makes you look pompous.]
PLEASE R/R!!!!!!!!
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The Legend of Marshall Raynor
Book-Master: *Clears throat* And now we begin our play; which is called:
"The Legend of Marshall Raynor"
Raynor: Me!?
Book-Master: SHHHHHHHH. This is brought to you by Zergly Whirly. Get rid of those pesky Zerglings rudding up your gardens
Ok. Act 1: Our story begins
*Curtain Rises, tacky western music starts playing*
DuGalle&Stukov:
Oh, gather round and sit a spell,
listen to the tale that we're gonna tell.
It's all about the rugged west,
and one who stands above the rest!
DuGalle: Well actually he doesn't stand above all the rest in the physical sense....
Stukov: OH, you stupid frog. Stop running your mouth and sing!
Nerves of steel, he knows no fear!!!
DuGalle: He just laughs when dangers near!
DuGalle&Stukov: He's the hero of the plains, and MARSHALL RAYNOR!
That's his name!!
Raynor: Me?
Book-Master: SHHHHHHH!
Raynor: I don't want to me Marshall...
Stukov: Oh dat's ok. You probably von't even make it through da desert anyvay.
Raynor: Desert!?
*Scene shows Raynor, Tassadar, Duke, and Zeratul, sitting in a wagon, pulled by Fenix (Remember, he's a dragoon now through the desert*
Zaretul: Water, WATER!
Duke: Coffee, COFFEE!!!
Tassadar: It's the end I tell you! We're lost! FRIED IN THE DESERT SUN!
Raynor: Uhh, Tassadar...?
Tassadar: SCORCHED! In the searing sand! We're... *Falls into water trough, emerging from beneath the surface a second later* parched, in a waterless, wasteland! We're... we're... Uh, does anyone have a towel?
Duke: Hellooooooo! IS anybody here?
Townspeople: OOOOO!!!
*People start running past them*
Raynor: Uh, excuse me, umm pardon me? Hello?
Zaretul: WOOOOAH there townsperson! *stops a local with his massive form*
Duke: We were wondering if you could tell us what's happening here.
*Whispering* We're in the play you know.
Townsperson: Better you then us. RUN FOR YOU LIVES!
Townswomen: Yeah, The "Zerg Thieves" are coming to town and we're off a runnin'
Townperson2: You best do the same! they're mighty ornry!
Raynor: OH dear, perhaps we should tell the Marshall
*Mengsk (The current Marshall) runs up*
Mengsk: Consider yourself told! *Shakes hand* Congratulations, you're now the official Marshall! *Runs off*
Raynor: ME? Marshall!?
Old Zealot: Yep, and whoever's Marshall has to stop them "Zerg Thieves".
Zeratul: Really? Well where does it say that?
Old Zealot: Well right here *Hands copy of play script* "The Legend of Marshall Raynor", that's you.
Raynor: M-m-Me?
*Approaching rumble*
*Dust clears to reveal large group of Zerglings*
Raynor: I see lot's of Zerglings, but no thieves…
*Zeglings split, one steps forward(NOTE: These are big zerglings)*
Evil Bob: You don't get the picture here fellas. We're not ZERG thieves, we're zerg THIEVES. Zerglings that steal things, 'comprendo'?
Raynor, Fenix, Tassadar, Zaretul, Duke: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH...
Raynor: OH, well in that case, we'll just run along. *starts walking away*
Evil Bob: Hate to break it to ya chum, but we got us a little problem.
Raynor: AHhhhhhh, you do?
Evil Bob: See, that badge makes you Marshall, and "Zerg Thieves" and Marshalls don't get along. RIGHT!? And since I'm Evil Bob, the worlds meanest "Zerg Thief"...... I'm gonna have too, trounce ya.
Raynor: Trounce? Is that anything like b-b-b-bounce?
Evil Bob: NAH! Let me show ya.
*Picks up one of his smaller henchmen, molds into a ball, bounces him a couple times and shoot him threw a hoop*
Evil Bob: That's bounce *Walks over to his henchmen(All but one run and hide, except a simple fool of a zergling)*
Evil Bob: *Stuffs him into his own cowboy hat, drops him, and then jumps ontop of him and lands hard* That's TROUNCE!
Duke: Would you have to trounce him if he weren't wearing the Marshall's badge?
Evil Bob: Probably not.
Raynor: *Tries to pull badge off* It's stuck!
Evil Bob: I guess it's Marshall-trouncing time *Begins walking behind the wagon, whistling*
Duke: I don't suppose you'd be satisfied with a hug instead?
Evil Bob: Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, NAH! *Kicks the wagon, causing it to zoom down the hill at top speed*
*Wagon Crashes into the Marshall's office, causing posters to go everywhere*
Zeratul: Hmph, doesn't like hugs. How rotten can ya get? I say we stand and fight!!! We'll teach this guy a lesson!
DuGalle&Stukov:
You got no chance to stand and fight, you better stay in bed!
DuGalle: He'll Trounce you left!
Stukov: He'll trounce you right!
DuGalle&Stukov: And square dance on your head!
Raynor: Uhh, perhaps we should try to h-h-hide…
DuGalle&Stukov:
You can try your best to hide, but 'member what we said!
DuGalle: He'll trounce you left!
Stukov: He'll trounce you right!
DuGalle&Stukov: And square dance on your head!
Tassadar: Run, RUN! WE CAN RUN!!!!
DuGalle&Stukov:
You may think that you can run, but Bob's a thorough bred!
DuGalle: He'll trounce you left!
Stukov: He'll trounce you right!
DuGalle&Stukov: And square dance on your head!
Tassadar: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! *Runs out the door screaming*
Stukov: Hmmm, vat's da matter vit him?
DuGalle: Oh, well, obviously doesn't appreciate fine music!
Hmmmmm, my play seems to be going into whack 00, wondering what's next?
HAHAHAHAHAHA, you'll just have to keep reading. REVIEW!!!!!!1
[fixing everything in this chapter took longer than I thought. I'll keep chipping at it. I'll be reformatting all the chapters to look like this one before considering finishing the fic off at a later time.]