THE MIND & THE ENDLESS
By Alisha Barron

"But where shall wisdom be found? And where is the place of understanding? Man knoweth not the price thereof; neither is it found in the land of the
living ... for the price of wisdom is above rubies."
THE BOOK OF JOB, chapter 28 verses 12, 13, 18

'''D is for lots of things"
John Dee, All Fools' Day 1989

"Wake up."

A hooded figure appears be for you. Dressed in the style of the Franciscan monks of the Middle Ages. A book held in bony alabaster white hands. The book is chained to an equally bony wrist. The manacle encircling his wrist shines with the polished gleam of steel. The book is open before him held by the white chained hand. The other hand, finger pointing, follows the words with the single mindedness and determination of a kindergartener learning to read. He looks up towards you as if noticing you where there for the first time. The cowl of his hood looks down at you as if studying a rather interesting insect. you see the hooded mans eyes, he is blind, yet his unseeing gaze is more piercing than any other. A strained smile twisting his pale face, looking like a knife slash across his face. You stare into unseeing eyes.

"Wake up."

Suddenly your vision blurs and the scenes change as if on a movie set. Unexpectedly you are surrounded by a clydescope of colours. A living tie dye tapestry. A girl, no a woman, no a woman-child swims towards you in the multicolour sea. "Hullo," she says in a giggling child like voice. "Who are you?!? do you want to play" You make no response, but suddenly she pulls out a bubble wand and starts to blow bub... no not bubbles but rather butterflies. You smile despite yourself. You try to focus on this vibrant adolescent, but find your vision as well as your mind in a fuzzy haze. Her hair is the colour of ... no wait... you realize it keeps changing. Long, short, thick, thin, blond, brown, red, and purple? Her hair seems to move on its own, like it was alive, independent of the body attached to it. The hair having confused you enough as it is to make your head hurt, you try to focus on her face. But that to seems to change every second too. From old to young to ugly to beautiful to innocent to devious. But her eyes, yes her eyes, one blue one green, echoing of something you can never know. "Bye" she says smiling with the innocents of youth. You almost don't want her to go.

"Wake up."

Then mist is swirling around your feet like a thick soup. The world seems to become dark, closing in around you in a suffocating oppressive noose. You fall to the floor in a panicked attempt to get away from something that can only be in your head. The floor seems to move beneath you in the surging way of waves, but something runs over your hand. You start like it had burned you; you pull your hand close to your body as if that would protect you from what ever it was. You peer in to the fogged haze that is now swirling around your whole being. The mist clears a little so as you can see onto the blackened floor. Rats. Rats every where. Rats covering the floor like a thick moving carpet. You scream in horror, shock, and disgust and jump to your feet in a vain attempt to distance yourself from the crawling rodents. "Mined the rats." A scratchy sombre voice says behind your ear. You turn only to be met with the grimacing face of an ugly old crone. Her nude squat form seems to be the only thing you can take in. Her body though hideous has a strange draw to it. Like a car crash and you just can't for the life of you look away. The crone turns from you to look into a mirror that you could have sworn was not there a moment ago. You see a young child of undetermined sex, whose has barely crested the shores of youth, sitting on a bed, tears streaming down it's face, a razor blade in hand. A blade that looks as if it may have been pried from the plastic jaws of a bic shaving razor. The hag with impassioned eyes looks on. She brings a ring near her face. The ring in question looks like a fish hook wrapped around her finger, but with a much more sinister look to it... The ring now touching her cheek, she turns to you and says "Time for you to go" Then gouges the hook into her cheek pulling down wards ripping the flesh from her face. At that exact moment the youth in the mirror takes the razor blade and slashes down upon its own wrists with a look of pure euphoria on its face. You cry out to both of them trying to stop and console at the same time. But neither hear you. Your world again starts to shift and blur, while the tears of another's pain is still hot on your face.

"Wake up."

"Now, now there is no reason for you to cry" A voice whispers in your ear. A voice that is filled with the promise of every wish you've ever had. A voice that drips with the sensuality of your dream lover. Your vision focuses but just barley. The only thing you see now is the creature before you, everything else seems unimportant. You feel your blood pumping faster, like when you laid eyes on your very first crush. The creature is neither male nor female but rather seems to radiate androgens sensuality. It is dressed in a pristine white suit, smelling the sweet scent of a blood coloured rose. It doesn't even glance your way. You are utterly transfixed.

"Do you Desire me?" It asks raising exquisite golden eyes to you. You think you hear the hint of a mocking tone but choose to ignore it in favour of your beauties gaze. Your only response is a breathy yes that is ripped from your thought. The creature looks into your eyes and takes a step closer. You hold your breath in juvenile anticipation. The rose still held between its delicate cream coloured fingers. The creature hands you the flowerer and step back from you. You feel your eyes prick with tears, but this time not with tears of sorrow but of joy. It looks into your eyes once again; you open your mouth to confess your love to this beautiful being. But you watch as the creatures sensuous mouth splits into a smile, and then rich laughter pours from its lips. Rich mocking laughter. You stare in horror at your one true love as it laughs at you with the amusement of a cruel child. The creature turns from you and melts into the shadows, leaving you there with your wilting rose and its laughter echoing around you.

"Wake up."

Rage. It swells and surrounds you, like some great sea that sucks you down into its depths. You look around and notice you are now in the ruins of some city. The broken smouldering buildings stand around you like a concrete forest, smoke billowing out from roof tops blackening the sky itself. You hear the screams of children, and smell the chard flesh of their parents. You are horrified by the sight of it, and yet it gives you a grim satisfaction that others are in as much pain as you. The wound in your heart still fresh and bloodied. You smile; the destruction is some how soothing. You see and feel the Fenris Wolf lope across the endless billowing orange clouds, its own maw open and grinning with delight. You shudder. You feel the satisfaction you once felt slip away as fear grips you as you realise the gravity of the situation. Something catches your eye. A man... no a giant of a man sitting on a bench out side a ruined building. He sits there looking at nothing and mindlessly witling away at something. A great sword is propped up next to him. You approach the enormous man cautiously, wary of that great weapon. He looks up at you his bearded face breaking into a wide welcoming grin. "Come, come, sit" He says in a loud booming voice, at the same time moving the giant sword and patting the bench. You accept simply because you feel you can not refuse the large man's request. You sit looking down at whatever it is he's working on. The scenery that swells and moves with a life of its own seems not to affect the giant at all. You peer closer at what the man is looking at and realise to your horror that it's a human bone. You look back at the great friendly faces. "You should go... You don't belong here." He whispers to you, even though there is no one around to listen in. You nod, looking into the great man's sad grey eyes and get up to leave. You give a little wave to the man on the bench, he waves back.

"Wake up."

A cliff over looking the sea, wind swept shores and grassy planes. It feels like a dream. You're standing there surveying the surreal landscape, you see a man over looking the cliff staring out at the sea. Black robes billow around the lone figure, the wind blowing his black unruly locks. He looks sad. Skin as white as freshly fallen snow, just like all the others you've met. He turns to look at you with eyes as black as moonless night where the stars shine bright as suns. His whole eye is black no white, no pupil, no iris, just black. You now stand beside him, you don't know how it happened you don't remember walking towards him, you are just there, like in a dream. An alabaster hand cups your face tenderly, like that of a lover, he looks deep into your eyes and you see the stars twinkling from the depths of his own black eyes. He gives you a sad smile. "It's time to wake up" he says, and you feel hot fresh tears fall.

"Wake up."

You wake up. You're lying down in your bed. Some one is standing over you, wearing a grin that could block out the sun. She is as pale as all the others, with jet black hair and heavy black make up. Her eyes seem to shine just for you. You smile back at her. She stands up and you see the great silver ankh hanging about her neck. She's dressed in a black tank top and black jeans. She offers you her hand, you take it, and she smiles at you once more. She's so beautiful. And you hear the sound of wings.