AN: i don't own the Ducks and the song by bowling for soup
"The library will be closing in 15 minutes." the librarian calls out. I look at my watch, "quarter of eight" I say to myself. "Hey Averman, wanna go to Mickey's?" Goldberg asks, "I could go for a root beer float." he rubs his stomach. "Yeah, we don't have to be at the dorms till 10" Ken adds. "Sure why not" I say as I pack my bag. From the library we walk a block to Mickey's diner. "Hey guy's what day is it?" I ask. "It's Monday" Ken says. "Unfortunately" Goldberg frowns as he plops in a booth. I smile a little, ever since junior year started, every Monday it was routine for me, the Kenster and Goldie to go to the library after practice till 8 and head to Mickey's Diner for a root beer float. "Hello boys what can I get for you?" The waitress asks. "The usual Nona" I say to her. "Alright three root beer floats" she smiles takes our order. I longingly look at our waitress, her name was Kristen Mitchell, and everyone called her Nona for some reason. She along with Goldberg and Portman were in my theater class, she was real pretty with long dark hair, almond shaped brown eyes and smooth butterscotch colored skin. Nona was basically the typical punk girl in this preppy school; teased hair and piercings that continued on to god knows where, she was known as an outcast; to me she was perfect in my book. "Hey Nona, nice two-way" a punk looking guy says from the counter. "Averman what's a two-way?" Ken asks.
8 o'clock Monday night and I'm waiting
To finally talk to a girl a little cooler than me
Her name is Nona she's a rocker with a nose ring
She wears a 2-way, but I'm not quite sure what that means
"I have no idea" I reply. "It's probably satanic or something" Goldberg stars tearing up a napkin, "Ask Fulton and Portman maybe they know" he snickered. I roll my eyes and see Nona carrying a tray with our order. "Wow she's real pretty" I think to myself, "actually she's not pretty, she's a goddess" I smile. "Three root beer floats for you boys" she puts a glass right in front of us. "Thanks Nona" Ken and Goldberg say in unison. "You're welcome; uh hey Goldberg what did I miss in theater class today?" she asks. "Eh something to do with Hamlet talking to a skull" he replies. Why Goldberg, why did she ask him what happened in class and not me, what am I invisible or something?
And when she walks, all the wind blows and the angels sing
But, she doesn't notice me
In class I sit at a table with my fellow Duck mates. "Class I want you all to pick a partner and act out a fight sequence to perform in front of everyone Friday" Mr. Smith our teacher says. I look over to Nona, maybe she could be my partner. I smile at her and to my surprise she smiles back at me. As I get up Goldberg pulls me down, "Hey partner which one should we practice first, the 'slap' the 'hair pull'." "How 'bout the 'strangle'!" I say bitterly. "Ahh a little more advanced" he pats my back. I look over Nona's direction, Portman sat next to her. "Great" I shake my head. "Than it's settled, for out skit I get to beat you up" Goldberg wrote in his notebook. "Huh what" I come back to reality. "Yeah, you're the big meannie head bully and I'm the little nerd that beat's you up" he said. "But, but, but..." "Sorry Averman, ya snooze ya loose" he chuckled and headed to the auditorium. The class separated into different parts of the room. I watched Nona and Portman closely; it was kind of funny to see a 6 foot bash brother being taken down by a 5 foot nothing girl. "Ms Mitchell, let's not get carried away with WWF mumbo-jumbo" Mr. Smith passed them by. There was still half an hour till class ended, most of the class saw sitting around goofing of, a short amount was doing homework that should have been done the night before, Goldberg and Portman were sitting nearby talking about the upcoming Blake game on Friday, I was watching Nona, she had head phones on and was bobbing her head rapidly with her eyes fixated on something on the floor.
Cause she's watching wrestling
Creaming over tough guys
Listening to rap metal
Turntables in her eyes
"Averman, hey Averman" Portman shook me roughly, "Class is over man." I put my glasses on and got up, my eyes still starring at Nona; she looks at me and I melt. "Hey Nona's coming this way" I say to Goldberg. "So" he says. "So I think I'm gonna ask her out" I blurted out. My fellow mates laugh at me. "I hate to say this Averman buddy but Nona's not your type" Goldberg put his arm around me. "And what does that mean?" I ask. There was a slight pause "She's goes for guys more like Portman" He put it lightly, Portman nodded "Hey what is that suppose to mean?" he stopped and grunted. "I mean is that she likes the bad boy's" he shielded himself from the big enforcer. "Whatever you guys" I ignore them and walk towards her. I had this image of that scene where two people are running towards each other with their arms stretched out ready to hug each other. I imagined it was me and her doing that, I start to walk a little faster, than realty struck me as someone plowed me over. It felt like Fulton and Portman checking me into the boards during practice. "Damn it" I mumble. "Hey buddy are you alright?" someone asks. "I'm fine" I picked myself up and walk to the back of the auditorium and head towards my locker.
It's like a bad movie; she's looking through me, if you were me than you'd be,
Screaming, "someone shoot me," as I fail miserably,
Trying to get the GIRL ALL THE BAD GUYS WANT...
By this time Goldberg and Portman are joined by the rest of the Ducks. "Yeah, so he's waking towards her and BAM! Gets knocked over by a guy carrying a tuba" someone says, of course most of the guys laugh. I sake my head and bang my head against my locker. "Hey if you wanna blow some steam listen to some hardcore music" a heavenly voice says. I whipped around and it was Nona, "I mean when I get frustrated or get really pissed off, say at my parents, I listen to music." "Thanks" I rub my head. "You know you're kinda cute..." she paused, "For a hockey player." I gave her a blank stare, was she insulting me or complementing me? "I don't know if I quite follow" I say. "Well you're a jock right?" "No" "A Nerd?" "N-no" "Than what are you?" she asked. My head was still pounding from the locker. "I-I I'm Lester Averman" I responded. She laughed at me, why was she tho? Apparently banging my head and questioning me afterwards was funny, probably a science project to see if the brain could react after an impact. "You know what I also do," she leans against the locker next to me. "I light up a joint down a 40" she licked her lips. I was hypnotized by her lips I wanted to kiss her, she's so hot. Nona got up and placed her hand on my shoulder, I was pined against the lockers. "We should hang sometime" she got close to me. "Yes, yes we should" I scream in my head. "Hey Nona" a guy calls out. It was one of her punk rocker friends. "What Dave" she yelled.
She likes the Godsmack and I like Agent Orange
Her CD changer's full of singers that are mad at their dad
She said she'd like to score some refer and a 40 oz
She'll never know that I'm the best that she'll never have
Inches I was inches away from her face and with a snap of finger she bounced away with her hair bobbing towards that Dave guy who had dyed orange hair just like mine. I bash the back of my head against my locker. "I take it Nona said no" Fulton evilly grinned. I shake my head and walk away from my teammates who were laughing.
And when she walks, all the wind blows and the angels sing
But, she'll never notice me
Nona and Portman stood on the stage practicing their skit; she was very convincing when she tried to struggle away from him. "Let me go you cad!" she yelled and slapped him, "No one grabs me like that" Nona tackled him down. Portman looked like he was going to cry, it's funny. "Excellent practice you two, Miss Abbots, Miss Loraine, you guys are up next" Mr. Smith checked off his clip board. Portman sat next to me and Nona sat at the end of the row in front of us. She put her headphones on and started bobbing her head like she did yesterday.
Cause she's watching wrestling
Creaming over tough guys
Listening to rap metal
Turntables in her eyes
"Class this is your free time before you present your final skit to me on Friday, pleas use it wisely" our teacher says. "So I was thinking of asking Orion to but me on center ice for the game" Goldberg says. "Dude you're defense, you're much better behind the wings" Portman said. "Averman what do you think?" he asks. "Goldie, you're the goalie, you can't switch positions" I reply. Than something caught my eye that Dave guy sat next to her, he had a scruffy face with his hair spiked on the top and a rat tail looking thing on the back of his head. As the guys were talking about hockey I inch forward to hear what they are saying. "I'll be racing this weekend, and I've got tickets" he held them out in front of her. "Alright I'm there" she smiles. "Look at that guy he looks like a red-neck wannabe" I say in disgust.
She likes them with a mustache
Racetrack season pass
Driving in a Trans Am
Does a mullet make a man?
At practice I hung around the bash brothers. "I mean what does this guy have that I don't?" I cynically said. "For starters, he probably doesn't get plowed over by a tuba" Fulton laughed. I glared at him. "What he means is that he's a tough guy" Portman reasoned. "Yeah like us" Fulton added. "Second, he probably listens to hard core music" He casually says. "Like us" Fulton added again "Right; third he doesn't look like a prep." "But I'm not a..." "Ap bap bap listen to what the guys say" Russ interrupted and stood next to me. "He dresses like, like" Portman paused trying to thinking up some words to say. "Like us" Fulton said. They grunted and bashed their bodies against each other. "So what you're telling me I gotta be like you guys?" They all smiled at me. "Unbelievable" I skated away. I looked up and there she was my rocker goddess, Nona. I skate towards her "Nona" I call. "Hey" she waved wildly. As I approach her I suddenly collided with one of the bash brothers. "Sorry dude" Fulton says. "Hey Nona what are you doing here?" Portman asks. "I was gonna ask you about or skit" she replied. Just my luck, she was here to see Portman. I roll my eyes and shake my head "Someone shoot me" I mumble.
It's like a bad movie; she's looking through me, if you were me than you'd be,
Screaming, "someone shoot me," as I fail miserably,
Trying to get the GIRL ALL THE BAD GUYS WANT...
We all got ready back stage that afternoon to perform for Mr. Smith and our fellow classmates. "Thank you Mr. Portman and Miss Mitchell, next up Miss Abbots, Miss Loraine" Mr. Smith said. I stood behind the curtains next to Goldberg. "Who's next?" I ask. "Dave and Kyle, and than us" Goldberg read the time sheet. "Where's Nona?" I ask. In the dressing room" Portman said from behind, "Speaking of can you get my jacket from the dressing room, great you're a pal" he roughly patted my back and watched the two girls fight on stage. I sighed; it was dark and I couldn't tell which room his jacket was in. I walked in the door to my right; my heart stopped, there was Nona. She was wearing hot pink fishnets, a change from her usual black or purple. She was twisting her hair in dread locks while putting on a white blouse and a plaid skirt. She looked up in the mirror and saw my reflection. "Oh-mi-gosh Averman what the hell?" she whipped around and clutched her hand over her chest. "Nona I-I-I didn't mean to see you" I was frozen, I really wanted to leave but I couldn't move. She walked up to me and made a fist which came in contact with my stomach.
There she goes again with fishnets on
And dread locks in her hair
She broke my heart I want to be sedated
All I wanted was to see her naked
"Averman are you alright?" I hear a faint voice. My vision was blurry and the room looked like it was spinning; I could hear a loud thumping like I was at a metal concert. I turn my head slightly to see that Dave and Kyle on stage, I could also see Nona watching from the curtains. Portman tries to help me up. "I-I I'm fine" I struggle. "You sure" Goldberg asks. "Perfectly" I try to hide the pain I feel in my stomach. "What happened?" Portman asks. "Nona punched me". I lean against the wall. I could see the two ducks hold back their laughter.
Now I'm watching wrestling
Trying to be a tough guy
Listening to rap metal
I storm out of the auditorium with ten minuets left in class and sit outside to collect myself. The bell rang and I saw the kids in my class head out for the weekend. I see Nona walk away with Dave and hop into his Ford." I laugh bitterly, and look at the moped my parents got me for Christmas. "Damn it he's got everything the girl, the car he's even got facial hair! What could be worse?" I roll my eyes and sigh.
Turn tables in my eyes
I can't grow a mustache and
I ain't got no season pass
All I got's a moped
Sure enough in the locker room I of course was the topic of discussion instead of the Blake game we just won. "This is a nightmare" I close my eyes and walk out. "Averman watch it" I bumped into Julie, she had a fist in the air and burst out laughing, "Sorry Averman" she held herself, everyone roared out in laughter even Orion laughed a little. I had three attempts to talk to Nona and every time I've tried I always ended up on my ass. Why her, why do I have to like her? "Why, why me, please someone shoot me!" I moan.
It's like a bad movie; she's looking through me, if you were me than you'd be,
Screaming, "someone shoot me," as I fail miserably,
Trying to get the GIRL ALL THE BAD GUYS WANT...
Why can't I get with her? "Because she's Nona and I'm not her type, she's the girl all those guys like Dave want." I remind myself.
Cause she's the girl all the bad guys want
"The library will be closing in 15 minutes." the librarian calls out. I look at my watch, "quarter of eight" I say to myself. "Hey Averman, wanna go to Mickey's?" Goldberg asks, "I could go for a root beer float." he rubs his stomach. "Yeah, we don't have to be at the dorms till 10" Ken adds. "Sure why not" I say as I pack my bag. From the library we walk a block to Mickey's diner. "Hey guy's what day is it?" I ask. "It's Monday" Ken says. "Unfortunately" Goldberg frowns as he plops in a booth. I smile a little, ever since junior year started, every Monday it was routine for me, the Kenster and Goldie to go to the library after practice till 8 and head to Mickey's Diner for a root beer float. "Hello boys what can I get for you?" The waitress asks. "The usual Nona" I say to her. "Alright three root beer floats" she smiles takes our order. I longingly look at our waitress, her name was Kristen Mitchell, and everyone called her Nona for some reason. She along with Goldberg and Portman were in my theater class, she was real pretty with long dark hair, almond shaped brown eyes and smooth butterscotch colored skin. Nona was basically the typical punk girl in this preppy school; teased hair and piercings that continued on to god knows where, she was known as an outcast; to me she was perfect in my book. "Hey Nona, nice two-way" a punk looking guy says from the counter. "Averman what's a two-way?" Ken asks.
8 o'clock Monday night and I'm waiting
To finally talk to a girl a little cooler than me
Her name is Nona she's a rocker with a nose ring
She wears a 2-way, but I'm not quite sure what that means
"I have no idea" I reply. "It's probably satanic or something" Goldberg stars tearing up a napkin, "Ask Fulton and Portman maybe they know" he snickered. I roll my eyes and see Nona carrying a tray with our order. "Wow she's real pretty" I think to myself, "actually she's not pretty, she's a goddess" I smile. "Three root beer floats for you boys" she puts a glass right in front of us. "Thanks Nona" Ken and Goldberg say in unison. "You're welcome; uh hey Goldberg what did I miss in theater class today?" she asks. "Eh something to do with Hamlet talking to a skull" he replies. Why Goldberg, why did she ask him what happened in class and not me, what am I invisible or something?
And when she walks, all the wind blows and the angels sing
But, she doesn't notice me
In class I sit at a table with my fellow Duck mates. "Class I want you all to pick a partner and act out a fight sequence to perform in front of everyone Friday" Mr. Smith our teacher says. I look over to Nona, maybe she could be my partner. I smile at her and to my surprise she smiles back at me. As I get up Goldberg pulls me down, "Hey partner which one should we practice first, the 'slap' the 'hair pull'." "How 'bout the 'strangle'!" I say bitterly. "Ahh a little more advanced" he pats my back. I look over Nona's direction, Portman sat next to her. "Great" I shake my head. "Than it's settled, for out skit I get to beat you up" Goldberg wrote in his notebook. "Huh what" I come back to reality. "Yeah, you're the big meannie head bully and I'm the little nerd that beat's you up" he said. "But, but, but..." "Sorry Averman, ya snooze ya loose" he chuckled and headed to the auditorium. The class separated into different parts of the room. I watched Nona and Portman closely; it was kind of funny to see a 6 foot bash brother being taken down by a 5 foot nothing girl. "Ms Mitchell, let's not get carried away with WWF mumbo-jumbo" Mr. Smith passed them by. There was still half an hour till class ended, most of the class saw sitting around goofing of, a short amount was doing homework that should have been done the night before, Goldberg and Portman were sitting nearby talking about the upcoming Blake game on Friday, I was watching Nona, she had head phones on and was bobbing her head rapidly with her eyes fixated on something on the floor.
Cause she's watching wrestling
Creaming over tough guys
Listening to rap metal
Turntables in her eyes
"Averman, hey Averman" Portman shook me roughly, "Class is over man." I put my glasses on and got up, my eyes still starring at Nona; she looks at me and I melt. "Hey Nona's coming this way" I say to Goldberg. "So" he says. "So I think I'm gonna ask her out" I blurted out. My fellow mates laugh at me. "I hate to say this Averman buddy but Nona's not your type" Goldberg put his arm around me. "And what does that mean?" I ask. There was a slight pause "She's goes for guys more like Portman" He put it lightly, Portman nodded "Hey what is that suppose to mean?" he stopped and grunted. "I mean is that she likes the bad boy's" he shielded himself from the big enforcer. "Whatever you guys" I ignore them and walk towards her. I had this image of that scene where two people are running towards each other with their arms stretched out ready to hug each other. I imagined it was me and her doing that, I start to walk a little faster, than realty struck me as someone plowed me over. It felt like Fulton and Portman checking me into the boards during practice. "Damn it" I mumble. "Hey buddy are you alright?" someone asks. "I'm fine" I picked myself up and walk to the back of the auditorium and head towards my locker.
It's like a bad movie; she's looking through me, if you were me than you'd be,
Screaming, "someone shoot me," as I fail miserably,
Trying to get the GIRL ALL THE BAD GUYS WANT...
By this time Goldberg and Portman are joined by the rest of the Ducks. "Yeah, so he's waking towards her and BAM! Gets knocked over by a guy carrying a tuba" someone says, of course most of the guys laugh. I sake my head and bang my head against my locker. "Hey if you wanna blow some steam listen to some hardcore music" a heavenly voice says. I whipped around and it was Nona, "I mean when I get frustrated or get really pissed off, say at my parents, I listen to music." "Thanks" I rub my head. "You know you're kinda cute..." she paused, "For a hockey player." I gave her a blank stare, was she insulting me or complementing me? "I don't know if I quite follow" I say. "Well you're a jock right?" "No" "A Nerd?" "N-no" "Than what are you?" she asked. My head was still pounding from the locker. "I-I I'm Lester Averman" I responded. She laughed at me, why was she tho? Apparently banging my head and questioning me afterwards was funny, probably a science project to see if the brain could react after an impact. "You know what I also do," she leans against the locker next to me. "I light up a joint down a 40" she licked her lips. I was hypnotized by her lips I wanted to kiss her, she's so hot. Nona got up and placed her hand on my shoulder, I was pined against the lockers. "We should hang sometime" she got close to me. "Yes, yes we should" I scream in my head. "Hey Nona" a guy calls out. It was one of her punk rocker friends. "What Dave" she yelled.
She likes the Godsmack and I like Agent Orange
Her CD changer's full of singers that are mad at their dad
She said she'd like to score some refer and a 40 oz
She'll never know that I'm the best that she'll never have
Inches I was inches away from her face and with a snap of finger she bounced away with her hair bobbing towards that Dave guy who had dyed orange hair just like mine. I bash the back of my head against my locker. "I take it Nona said no" Fulton evilly grinned. I shake my head and walk away from my teammates who were laughing.
And when she walks, all the wind blows and the angels sing
But, she'll never notice me
Nona and Portman stood on the stage practicing their skit; she was very convincing when she tried to struggle away from him. "Let me go you cad!" she yelled and slapped him, "No one grabs me like that" Nona tackled him down. Portman looked like he was going to cry, it's funny. "Excellent practice you two, Miss Abbots, Miss Loraine, you guys are up next" Mr. Smith checked off his clip board. Portman sat next to me and Nona sat at the end of the row in front of us. She put her headphones on and started bobbing her head like she did yesterday.
Cause she's watching wrestling
Creaming over tough guys
Listening to rap metal
Turntables in her eyes
"Class this is your free time before you present your final skit to me on Friday, pleas use it wisely" our teacher says. "So I was thinking of asking Orion to but me on center ice for the game" Goldberg says. "Dude you're defense, you're much better behind the wings" Portman said. "Averman what do you think?" he asks. "Goldie, you're the goalie, you can't switch positions" I reply. Than something caught my eye that Dave guy sat next to her, he had a scruffy face with his hair spiked on the top and a rat tail looking thing on the back of his head. As the guys were talking about hockey I inch forward to hear what they are saying. "I'll be racing this weekend, and I've got tickets" he held them out in front of her. "Alright I'm there" she smiles. "Look at that guy he looks like a red-neck wannabe" I say in disgust.
She likes them with a mustache
Racetrack season pass
Driving in a Trans Am
Does a mullet make a man?
At practice I hung around the bash brothers. "I mean what does this guy have that I don't?" I cynically said. "For starters, he probably doesn't get plowed over by a tuba" Fulton laughed. I glared at him. "What he means is that he's a tough guy" Portman reasoned. "Yeah like us" Fulton added. "Second, he probably listens to hard core music" He casually says. "Like us" Fulton added again "Right; third he doesn't look like a prep." "But I'm not a..." "Ap bap bap listen to what the guys say" Russ interrupted and stood next to me. "He dresses like, like" Portman paused trying to thinking up some words to say. "Like us" Fulton said. They grunted and bashed their bodies against each other. "So what you're telling me I gotta be like you guys?" They all smiled at me. "Unbelievable" I skated away. I looked up and there she was my rocker goddess, Nona. I skate towards her "Nona" I call. "Hey" she waved wildly. As I approach her I suddenly collided with one of the bash brothers. "Sorry dude" Fulton says. "Hey Nona what are you doing here?" Portman asks. "I was gonna ask you about or skit" she replied. Just my luck, she was here to see Portman. I roll my eyes and shake my head "Someone shoot me" I mumble.
It's like a bad movie; she's looking through me, if you were me than you'd be,
Screaming, "someone shoot me," as I fail miserably,
Trying to get the GIRL ALL THE BAD GUYS WANT...
We all got ready back stage that afternoon to perform for Mr. Smith and our fellow classmates. "Thank you Mr. Portman and Miss Mitchell, next up Miss Abbots, Miss Loraine" Mr. Smith said. I stood behind the curtains next to Goldberg. "Who's next?" I ask. "Dave and Kyle, and than us" Goldberg read the time sheet. "Where's Nona?" I ask. In the dressing room" Portman said from behind, "Speaking of can you get my jacket from the dressing room, great you're a pal" he roughly patted my back and watched the two girls fight on stage. I sighed; it was dark and I couldn't tell which room his jacket was in. I walked in the door to my right; my heart stopped, there was Nona. She was wearing hot pink fishnets, a change from her usual black or purple. She was twisting her hair in dread locks while putting on a white blouse and a plaid skirt. She looked up in the mirror and saw my reflection. "Oh-mi-gosh Averman what the hell?" she whipped around and clutched her hand over her chest. "Nona I-I-I didn't mean to see you" I was frozen, I really wanted to leave but I couldn't move. She walked up to me and made a fist which came in contact with my stomach.
There she goes again with fishnets on
And dread locks in her hair
She broke my heart I want to be sedated
All I wanted was to see her naked
"Averman are you alright?" I hear a faint voice. My vision was blurry and the room looked like it was spinning; I could hear a loud thumping like I was at a metal concert. I turn my head slightly to see that Dave and Kyle on stage, I could also see Nona watching from the curtains. Portman tries to help me up. "I-I I'm fine" I struggle. "You sure" Goldberg asks. "Perfectly" I try to hide the pain I feel in my stomach. "What happened?" Portman asks. "Nona punched me". I lean against the wall. I could see the two ducks hold back their laughter.
Now I'm watching wrestling
Trying to be a tough guy
Listening to rap metal
I storm out of the auditorium with ten minuets left in class and sit outside to collect myself. The bell rang and I saw the kids in my class head out for the weekend. I see Nona walk away with Dave and hop into his Ford." I laugh bitterly, and look at the moped my parents got me for Christmas. "Damn it he's got everything the girl, the car he's even got facial hair! What could be worse?" I roll my eyes and sigh.
Turn tables in my eyes
I can't grow a mustache and
I ain't got no season pass
All I got's a moped
Sure enough in the locker room I of course was the topic of discussion instead of the Blake game we just won. "This is a nightmare" I close my eyes and walk out. "Averman watch it" I bumped into Julie, she had a fist in the air and burst out laughing, "Sorry Averman" she held herself, everyone roared out in laughter even Orion laughed a little. I had three attempts to talk to Nona and every time I've tried I always ended up on my ass. Why her, why do I have to like her? "Why, why me, please someone shoot me!" I moan.
It's like a bad movie; she's looking through me, if you were me than you'd be,
Screaming, "someone shoot me," as I fail miserably,
Trying to get the GIRL ALL THE BAD GUYS WANT...
Why can't I get with her? "Because she's Nona and I'm not her type, she's the girl all those guys like Dave want." I remind myself.
Cause she's the girl all the bad guys want