Disclaimer: For the disclaimer, warnings, etc., please see the first chapter.

Black

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Chapter 5 - Family Ties

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Remus knew what love was like now.

Love was happy, giddy, a wonderful feeling that made one feel as if one was floating on air. Love was being completely blind to everyone else except for one's lover, completely unaware of anything else in the universe except that one special person. Love was like a sea, and Remus was drowning. But he liked it. The waters of this sea were particularly sweet.

He was attracting a lot of odd glances lately, mostly from his parents and sister at the moment, who were eyeing him suspiciously as he sat gazing dreamily across the room at the calendar on the wall, eating porridge without noticing what it was.

his mother asked. Er - Remus?

His gaze switched to her, his eyes rather glazed, a foolish smile on his face. Yes, Mum?

Are you feeling okay? Mrs. Lupin had been worried about her son since the other day, when they had returned from Bristol to find him ill and lying on the sofa. Perhaps it was something serious?

I'm... just lovely, Mum, he breathed, getting up to put his porridge bowl in the sink. I'm off.

He shouldered his schoolbag and drifted out the door.

Mr. Lupin chuckled, ruffling the pages of his paper. I think I know what's going on. He's in love.

Mrs. Lupin and Serena stared at him.

Think about it, Mr. Lupin smiled. He's totally out of it, can't keep his mind on anything, and can't stop smiling. I'll bet you he's found himself a girl he fancies.

Oh, Devereaux - Mrs. Lupin sighed and began gathering up the dishes. He's a little young...

He's sixteen. It's about time he got interested in the fairer sex.

Devereaux... not in front of Serena....

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Remus had to fight an urge to skip and dance to school that day, he was so happy. His mind was on nothing but Sirius, and the night they had spent together. It had been two days ago, and even though he and Sirius hadn't seen each other since, Remus was still delirious with joy. The worries he had had over Sirius' meeting with Williams had been totally forgotten.

Until he arrived at school. The students were gathered in clusters, whispering to each other; curious, Remus approached Lily, James, and Grace.

What's going on?

You haven't heard? Lily asked, her green eyes wide. My God, Remus, it's in all the papers -

I haven't been reading the paper lately, Remus said. What's wrong?

Well - yesterday - Augustus Williams was - was -

Was what ?

He was found outside the play park, Grace said in a hushed voice. Someone killed him.

Remus gasped, horrified. Who killed him?

They don't know, James muttered. No clues at all.

Remus bit his lip. It was true he had hated Williams, had desperately wished at times that the bloke would just go away and leave him alone but - dead ? Murdered? No, he hadn't wanted that at all! Suddenly, he remembered that Sirius had been going to meet Williams... no! Sirius wouldn't have killed him!

I bet you'd like him gone, wouldn't you?

Sirius' words rose unbidden to his mind, and Remus suddenly felt very weak and shaky.

Remus? You okay, mate? James, Lily, and Grace were looking at him with concern.

I'm all right, Remus lied, faking a small smile. It's just... so unexpected....

James nodded vigorously. I wonder who he ticked off bad enough to get killed?

So do I, Remus said softly.

---

It was impossible for Remus to concentrate on his lessons that day. He took off running after school, hoping and praying to find Sirius. He had to talk to him, had to make sure Sirius hadn't killed Williams. He loved Sirius completely and helplessly, and knew his lover couldn't do something that bad, but he had to ask...

He skidded around a corner, narrowly missing a collision with a baby in a pram, and hurried up the street on his way to Baker's. He didn't care if he barely knew the way - he'd find Sirius -

He came to an abrupt halt at the park gates. He had just barely caught a glimpse of black - could it be?

Remus jogged down the path, ignoring the old ladies who smiled at the almost-comical sight of the young man with the bulging bag on his back. He didn't see anyone remotely resembling Sirius, though he did see a cluster of bobbies standing outside the fence, talking and taking pictures.

He stopped to catch his breath beside a small group of trees. As he stood there, panting and clutching a stitch in his side, the smell of cigarette smoke drifted to him, out of the trees.

Remus pushed through a few low-hanging branches to find himself in a small clearing. The trees had grown in a ring around a large patch of grass with a boulder in the middle. On the boulder sat Remus' lover, smoking a cigarette.

Remus dropped his bag and ran forward to throw himself into his lover's arms. Siri -

Remmie? How did you find me? Sirius asked in surprise.

Remus hugged him tightly. It doesn't matter. Did you hear ? Williams is dead - someone killed him, probably the same night you were supposed to fight him!

Yeah. I heard. Sirius ran his fingers through Remus' tawny hair.

I was so scared - I thought you - he - Remus sobbed.

Take it easy. You thought I had something to do with it?

Yes.... I... know you couldn't kill anyone but... I still...

Sirius rubbed his back. I'll tell you the truth, Remus. I came to the park and waited for him, but he didn't show up. I must have smoked half a pack of cigarettes, but he never arrived. I figured he got cold feet, so I went home.

Remus sniffled.

Really really. I've got no time for blokes who are all talk but no show, Sirius said.

Remus looked up at him. Sirius' hair was falling over his left eye, completely covering it; the effect was rather odd. Remus reached up to brush it out of the way.

Hey - Remus - don't- Sirius protested, but he was too late. Remus brushed the hair away from his face and gasped - the flesh around Sirius' left eye was dark purple and puffy.

Oh, Siri ! What happened ?

Sirius shook his hair back over his eye.

It certainly doesn't look like nothing!

I just - bumped into the door in the dark, okay? Last time I get up without turning on a light.

But -

Remmie... just leave it alone. Please?

Remus bit his lip, almost reluctantly letting it go - but something else caught his eye. A dark spot peeking out from the sleeve of Sirius' trenchcoat. Remus pushed the sleeve up carefully and gasped - a large bruise had spread an inky stain across his lover's forearm.

Remmie -

Are you sure this is just a bump? Remus whispered, looking up at him. You couldn't have hurt yourself this bad bumping into a door!

I - am - FINE, Sirius insisted, wrenching his arm out of Remus' grasp and pulling the sleeve back over the bruise. For the last time, leave it alone!

It's not - because of - Williams, is it? Remus couldn't help asking.

No. I told you, I didn't see him at all the other night. I just hurt myself getting to the bathroom, okay?

Remus sighed. But he could tell Sirius was lying. The bumping-into-a-door' story was an old, old ruse. Maybe Williams hadn't beaten him up, but it looked as though someone had.

Sirius snuffed out his cigarette and stood. Look, Remmie... I'd better go.

Remus couldn't help but feel hurt. Maybe, perhaps, Sirius was regretting ever telling Remus he loved him? Regretted ever having sex with him? Maybe he thought Remus was too nosy to be his lover anymore....



The... the other night.... did - you're not regretting - I mean - never mind. Remus turned away, his face and ears burning, bending to pick up his bag.

Sirius' arms were around his waist in a second. You think I regret making love to you? he breathed in Remus' ear, making him shiver.

I -

I meant every word I said, Sirius whispered, kissing the side of Remus' neck. I love you... and I don't regret a thing... I'm not hurrying off to avoid you.

Remus went limp with relief. He leaned back into Sirius' arms, his eyes closed. Then why are you hurrying?

My family's back.

From Germany?



Remus turned around to face Sirius. Then can I meet them?

Sirius said sharply. He softened his tone at the shocked expression on Remus' face. No. I.... don't think it's a good idea, Remmie. They aren't... in the best of moods right now. You know... tired from traveling and all that. His eyes didn't quite meet Remus'.

Oh.... okay. Remus didn't pursue it. Whenever you think it's time, then.

Sure thing. I'll see you around, love. Sirius kissed his cheek and was gone.

---

Sirius slipped into his house and kicked off his boots, fishing his pack of cigarettes from his pocket as he hung up his trenchcoat. The telly was on in the parlour, meaning his father was probably in there, watching the news. Totally unwilling to meet his father face-to-face yet, he went into the kitchen instead.

His mother had her back to him, preparing something at the counter. Beef stew or some other low-budget, easily-prepared dish. His mother was not much of a cook, and sometimes Sirius was glad they were pinched for money - kept his mother from buying expensive ingredients and ruining them. He opened the fridge and poured himself a glass of milk.

Tell your father it's time to eat, Mrs. Black ordered as he put his glass in the sink. Sirius sighed, stuck his cigarette back in his mouth, and trudged down the hall to the parlour.

He stopped in the doorway to survey his father, who was sprawled on the couch, eyes fixed on the telly. Cépheus Black was a simply enormous man, six-foot-four and over two hundred pounds. Most of his bulk was due to muscle; Sirius could tell anyone that his father was in his prime. Unconsciously, his hand drifted to his bruised wrist and rubbed it.

Da, time for dinner.

About time, Mr. Black growled, getting up and switching off the telly. He brushed past Sirius, wrinkling his nose. His walrus moustache bristled. And put out that fag. Last thing I want to smell at the table is those bloody things.

Sirius snuffed it out in the ashtray in the hall. Normally, he would have smoked at the table no matter what his father said; but today was a good day to follow orders. His father had been in a wretched mood ever since his return from Germany and problems at work weren't helping things any. Sirius had been trying to keep a low profile since then. Mr. Black had a violent, easily-stirred temper, and Sirius and his brother Regulus were the general recipients of his wrath. It was safer to do what you were told and keep quiet.

Dinner was silent that night. Nobody dared rouse Mr. Black, not when they observed the way his moustache was bristling over his bowl of stew. Mrs. Black handed around bread and margarine; Sirius and Regulus refrained from kicking each other under the table and minded their table manners. All went well - or as well as a Black family dinner could go - until dessert.

Sirius was just finishing his helping of raspberry crumble and was on the verge of asking if he could be excused when his mother got up to pour his father a second cup of tea. A loud roar from Mr. Black made Sirius jerk his head up from his dessert; Regulus had frozen in the act of reaching for the sugar bowl. Mr. Black was holding his arm, looking livid.

Stupid witch, he snarled, striking his wife so hard across the face that she staggered, nearly spilling the hot water from the teakettle onto herself. Is it really that hard, eh, to pour a cup of tea, that you have to burn me?

It was an accident, Da, Regulus whispered, receiving a slap to the face for his troubles. Cépheus was on his feet now, breathing heavily. The burn on his arm was hardly serious; a little aloe cream and he'd be as right as rain. But Sirius knew this had been building ever since his father's return; it had been only a matter of time before the stress wore him down enough to start punishing his family.

He put down his fork and got to his feet. His father's furious black eyes turned to him, as if inviting him to have a go; but Sirius was silent, carrying his plate to the sink. He crossed the kitchen and took the kettle from his mother, setting it down on the stove. He paused on his way out and looked back at his father, fishing his cigarettes out of his pocket. Take it easy, Da.

I told you not to smoke those here -

I know. I'm taking it outside, Sirius said calmly. Raising his voice would only make his father angrier. When no one replied, he headed outside.

He slumped down on the front steps, lighting a cigarette and looking up at the stars. He could hear his father shouting at his mother. A single tear ran down his cheek. He wiped it away impatiently. It had been like this all his life; his father was nothing but a brute who used force to keep his family in line, and his mother clearly regretted ever marrying him but was too proud to divorce him. Sirius supposed it could have been worse; his father could have been a drunk, or his mother could have abandoned her sons in an orphanage someplace. But on the other hand, maybe Sirius would have been better off in the orphanage...

This was why he didn't want Remus to meet his family. He was deeply ashamed of them, and it only seemed worse when you compared them to Remus' parents. He was a little jealous of his lover, having parents who loved him so dearly and didn't hit him or his sister. He sighed, running a trembling hand through his hair as his mind returned to the other night. Williams. He had killed the bloke. Murdered him. He barely remembered doing it. It had been like something he had done in a dream, totally unreal. The headlines in the paper the next morning had shocked him badly, bringing back only the vaguest memories.

What was he going to tell Remus? And how much did the police know? He could have left all kinds of evidence behind. Remus would surely be furious, especially after finding out Sirius had lied to him. More than likely, he would refuse to see Sirius ever again. Sure, he had hated Williams, but Sirius knew Remus would never wish for anyone to die . He wouldn't want to be touched or held by someone with blood on his hands.

I won't tell him, then, he thought fiercely. If... anything happens... if the police come after me... I'll convince him to run away with me. We'll... hide, or something... I won't ever let him know what I did. I'll tell him I'm being set up... win his sympathy... anything. But there's no use worrying about it right now. I'll wait until something shows up. If anything does.

That decided, he snuffed out his cigarette and went inside. The arguments had subsided; the telly was back on, perhaps a little louder than necessary, but at least they weren't fighting anymore. As Sirius trudged up the stairs and down the hall to his bedroom, he noticed his mother's door was closed. She had probably gone to bed early, as she so often did on the nights when her husband was more easily annoyed than usual. Either that, or Cépheus had beaten her so badly she had no choice but to stay in bed to recover. Lord knew that had happened often enough.

He stripped down to his boxers and slipped between the covers. He wished he had Remus with him. Having Remus curled up in his arms, his small, warm body pressed close, had made him happier than he ever remembered being. But no... he wasn't going to bring Remus here. Not with his father around, anyway.

Sirius stayed awake until nearly eleven, unable to sleep. He trembled helplessly when he heard his father's heavy footsteps on the stairs - that sound had struck terror into his heart for as long as he could remember, and he knew Regulus was probably just as frightened. Both boys had served as their father's punching bags when their mother wasn't around to take the blame. Sirius could vividly remember when his father had been laid off from his job - Sirius had been ten, Regulus six. Cépheus had come home, unusually silent. His sons had been playing with their toy cars in the hall (one of the very last times Sirius could ever remember getting along with Regulus, too), and had made a bit of a mess. Not one an ordinary parent would get fussed about, but it had capped off Mr. Black's furious mood. In the blink of an eye, Sirius found himself flying the length of the hallway, only to collide painfully with the small table the telephone stood on.

The pain had been enormous; he lay still, gasping and struggling not to cry, only to look up in time to see his father hit Regulus across the face hard enough to draw blood. Regulus had lost a tooth as well, Sirius recalled. And when his mother came hurrying out of the kitchen to put a stop to it, her husband had punched her in the throat. He had most likely been aiming for her face, but in his blind rage had missed by quite a lot. Mrs. Black had had a difficult time catching her breath, and such a large bruise appeared on her throat later on that she had to wear high-collared dresses and blouses for nearly three weeks.

Sirius was used to abuse. He was used to getting hit, used to being beaten. He went limp with relief as he always did when his father's steps stopped at the top of the stairs, glad that there would be no late night lecture' about the dangers of smoking. He rubbed his bruised wrist again, unconsciously. His father usually preferred talking with his fists rather than his mouth.

There was no way he could let Remus know... ever.

He closed his eyes and drifted off into an uneasy sleep. When he woke up the next morning, his pillowcase was damp with tears.

To Be Continued...

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(A/N : I must address another issue here. Sex. I know some of you out there might be hoping for a detailed, graphic, totally droolable sex scene, with no holds barred and nothing exempt, and I wouldn't mind one either... but I just can't bring myself to do it! I'm just too shy! I can't even begin to write anything really naughty. Personally, I think keeping the sex toned down a bit gives the whole story a touch of class, and besides, if you wanted to read graphic kinky Siri/Remmie sex, I'm sure you'd have no trouble at all finding something right up your alley. (Please don't take that the wrong way!) But don't abandon me because of my inability to write juicy sex scenes! I promise, I'll stick to the semi-lemony tame stuff! And I'll keep this story coming!! Thanks so much for all your support!

And to think this entire story was inspired by a single picture of Sirius I drew when I was bored... if you ask nicely, I might email it to you.)