Sorry, it's been ages, I really just can't be bothered. You ought to see the state of my other stories!
Foureyedsnail: Teehee, thank you blush however if I always wrote in first person I'd never get anywhere - I keep digressing. And, seeing as for some reason you've reviewed last chapter twice, I assume the second review WASN'T lost...
Thank you other reviewers:
DiggaDigga and ... uh, there weren't any others... bloody hell, you people!
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any character mentioned in the books, but Mal is mine, mine I tell you! Oh, yeah, and Battye... er... I reckon I'll have to give him hidden depths... yeah, hidden depths, that's it!
"Okay, so I still like practical jokes..." Harry opened his eyes, wondering at the words that had run through his mind. The dream, which was fading even as he grasped at it, had felt like someone walking through a library in his head, pulling out books and flipping through them until the shelves sucked them back in. It had been vaguely disturbing.
"Wake up, sleepyhead," Ron yelled, flinging open Harry's curtains, "We'll be late for breakfast!
The students waited outside the classroom. There seemed to be an inordinate amount of sniggering going on in the Slytherin group.
Hermione poked Harry in the ribs. "Here she comes! We should warn her, I bet they're up to something!"
Harry shook his head silently. As he did so, Mal approached, and an expectant hush grew over Draco and his friends. She put her hand on the doorknob...
Suddenly Hermione jumped forward. "Miss, don't go in there!"
Mal looked startled. "What? Is there something dangerous? Don't worry, I can take care of it." And with that she opened the door.
She was immediately showered with green and purple fire, which promptly began to eat through the floor and doorframe... but it seemed, where it fell on her, to cling harmlessly and burn brighter, as though it liked her. She looked up and raised her eyebrows. "Interesting," she commented, reaching down and beckoning to the fire on the floor, which immediately jumped to her hand. "Who thought of it?"
There was a general looking around and innocent smiling among the Slytherins. Mal shrugged. "Modesty? Very well then." She drew all the fire off herself - somehow it seemed reluctant to go - and tossed it over her shoulder. It immediately flew to Draco Malfoy, who shrieked and raised his hands. However, instead of burning him, it melted into his hands, momentarily turning them a sort of greenish purple.
"Ah," Mal said with a smile, "Well, it just goes to show. I didn't think you'd be the modest type from my first impression. Five points to Slytherin for ingenuity." She walked into the classroom.
The class gaped at her - which, as they were already gaping, caused some of them sever discomfort.
Mal turned quizzically. "Well? Aren't you coming in?"
"B-but..." Hermione said uncertainly, before Ron elbowed her in the ribs and gave her a warning glance. "Oh, fine then. Come on. I just wanted to know how she did it..."
The class trooped in, looking gingerly at the doorframe, which appeared to be intact, and sat down. Professor Battye was snoring at his desk.
Draco snorted. "Look at him, the big git. I don't know why Dumbledore hired him in the first place - all he does is sleep."
Mal turned around and said: "Mr Malfoy, I'll take those points I just gave you right back if you continue to show disrespect for a teacher. I'll have you know that Professor Battye was a top Auror in his day, and whatever his present condition as regards to consciousness he still has an exceptionally brilliant mind."
The class stared at Battye, who chose that particular moment to let out a tremendous snore.
"He was an Auror?" Ron said incredulously.
"A consultant Auror." Mal amended. "What, didn't you know about them? Yes, he was more like the Spanish Inquisition than the witch-hunters. Mainly did desk-work and interrogation - didn't like to get his feet wet, but he knew every obscure fact there was to know about dark wizards - other Aurors with specific assignments would come to him, ask him a question, he'd think a bit and then give them a solution, just like that. Amazing memory. He did experiments all the time, too. Does Wolfsbane works against werewolves all the time or just at full moon? Can a vampire live on sheep's blood instead of human blood, or at least blood from fresh corpses instead of living people? Just how much power does a curse lose when it rebounds off a shield? He even invented a device to measure magical intensity, I've got one here somewhere."
"Wow," Harry whispered to Hermione, "A consultant Auror? That's so cool."
"You know," said Ron thoughtfully, "He could be really helpful with homework - we just wake him up and ask him something, and he's bound to know it."
Hermione rolled her eyes, and raised her hand. "Miss, how many kinds of Aurors are there, anyway?"
Mal looked thoughtful. "Well, yes, some Defence students do tend to want to be Aurors... let me see... Okay, there's your basic go-get' em Auror, brave, smart, strong anti-curser, you know the lot. Then there's the previously mentioned consultant slash research Auror, who are often also Interrogators, good at bluffing, truth spells and stopping people from using magic - in the old days they'd sometimes use torture, too, but now of course they know that they can't do much to them Voldemort hasn't already done. Um, there are Seers there, working specifically to predict the next place a dark wizard will strike, oh and of course there are the Medics, who Heal fighting Aurors and make sure no-one dies on a simple job. They hang back in a fight unless they're really necessary, but they have to be able to deflect a curse with their back turned while up to their elbows in some- ones radioactive liver, so there's a lot of pluck necessary there as well as medical knowledge. That's about it, unless you count the beaurocrats, which I don't."
Ron, who had been caught up in the tale with the rest of the class, looked down and saw Hermione scribbling furiously. "Why are you writing this down?"
"It might come in handy."
"Now," Mal said brightly, "Everyone take out your homework. Come on, I'll take five points off anyone that doesn't hand it in."
Harry bit his nails. "Darn, I haven't finished mine."
"Oh, give it here," Hermione whispered impatiently. "Let's see... yes, and- there. That should do. You won't get full marks, mind," She added disapprovingly.
Harry grinned at her. "Thanks!"
Everyone had left. She walked to the desk he had been sitting at and scraped something off it, then shook Battye's shoulder. "Come on you deaf old bugger, we don't have any classes till after lunch."
Foureyedsnail: Teehee, thank you blush however if I always wrote in first person I'd never get anywhere - I keep digressing. And, seeing as for some reason you've reviewed last chapter twice, I assume the second review WASN'T lost...
Thank you other reviewers:
DiggaDigga and ... uh, there weren't any others... bloody hell, you people!
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any character mentioned in the books, but Mal is mine, mine I tell you! Oh, yeah, and Battye... er... I reckon I'll have to give him hidden depths... yeah, hidden depths, that's it!
"Okay, so I still like practical jokes..." Harry opened his eyes, wondering at the words that had run through his mind. The dream, which was fading even as he grasped at it, had felt like someone walking through a library in his head, pulling out books and flipping through them until the shelves sucked them back in. It had been vaguely disturbing.
"Wake up, sleepyhead," Ron yelled, flinging open Harry's curtains, "We'll be late for breakfast!
The students waited outside the classroom. There seemed to be an inordinate amount of sniggering going on in the Slytherin group.
Hermione poked Harry in the ribs. "Here she comes! We should warn her, I bet they're up to something!"
Harry shook his head silently. As he did so, Mal approached, and an expectant hush grew over Draco and his friends. She put her hand on the doorknob...
Suddenly Hermione jumped forward. "Miss, don't go in there!"
Mal looked startled. "What? Is there something dangerous? Don't worry, I can take care of it." And with that she opened the door.
She was immediately showered with green and purple fire, which promptly began to eat through the floor and doorframe... but it seemed, where it fell on her, to cling harmlessly and burn brighter, as though it liked her. She looked up and raised her eyebrows. "Interesting," she commented, reaching down and beckoning to the fire on the floor, which immediately jumped to her hand. "Who thought of it?"
There was a general looking around and innocent smiling among the Slytherins. Mal shrugged. "Modesty? Very well then." She drew all the fire off herself - somehow it seemed reluctant to go - and tossed it over her shoulder. It immediately flew to Draco Malfoy, who shrieked and raised his hands. However, instead of burning him, it melted into his hands, momentarily turning them a sort of greenish purple.
"Ah," Mal said with a smile, "Well, it just goes to show. I didn't think you'd be the modest type from my first impression. Five points to Slytherin for ingenuity." She walked into the classroom.
The class gaped at her - which, as they were already gaping, caused some of them sever discomfort.
Mal turned quizzically. "Well? Aren't you coming in?"
"B-but..." Hermione said uncertainly, before Ron elbowed her in the ribs and gave her a warning glance. "Oh, fine then. Come on. I just wanted to know how she did it..."
The class trooped in, looking gingerly at the doorframe, which appeared to be intact, and sat down. Professor Battye was snoring at his desk.
Draco snorted. "Look at him, the big git. I don't know why Dumbledore hired him in the first place - all he does is sleep."
Mal turned around and said: "Mr Malfoy, I'll take those points I just gave you right back if you continue to show disrespect for a teacher. I'll have you know that Professor Battye was a top Auror in his day, and whatever his present condition as regards to consciousness he still has an exceptionally brilliant mind."
The class stared at Battye, who chose that particular moment to let out a tremendous snore.
"He was an Auror?" Ron said incredulously.
"A consultant Auror." Mal amended. "What, didn't you know about them? Yes, he was more like the Spanish Inquisition than the witch-hunters. Mainly did desk-work and interrogation - didn't like to get his feet wet, but he knew every obscure fact there was to know about dark wizards - other Aurors with specific assignments would come to him, ask him a question, he'd think a bit and then give them a solution, just like that. Amazing memory. He did experiments all the time, too. Does Wolfsbane works against werewolves all the time or just at full moon? Can a vampire live on sheep's blood instead of human blood, or at least blood from fresh corpses instead of living people? Just how much power does a curse lose when it rebounds off a shield? He even invented a device to measure magical intensity, I've got one here somewhere."
"Wow," Harry whispered to Hermione, "A consultant Auror? That's so cool."
"You know," said Ron thoughtfully, "He could be really helpful with homework - we just wake him up and ask him something, and he's bound to know it."
Hermione rolled her eyes, and raised her hand. "Miss, how many kinds of Aurors are there, anyway?"
Mal looked thoughtful. "Well, yes, some Defence students do tend to want to be Aurors... let me see... Okay, there's your basic go-get' em Auror, brave, smart, strong anti-curser, you know the lot. Then there's the previously mentioned consultant slash research Auror, who are often also Interrogators, good at bluffing, truth spells and stopping people from using magic - in the old days they'd sometimes use torture, too, but now of course they know that they can't do much to them Voldemort hasn't already done. Um, there are Seers there, working specifically to predict the next place a dark wizard will strike, oh and of course there are the Medics, who Heal fighting Aurors and make sure no-one dies on a simple job. They hang back in a fight unless they're really necessary, but they have to be able to deflect a curse with their back turned while up to their elbows in some- ones radioactive liver, so there's a lot of pluck necessary there as well as medical knowledge. That's about it, unless you count the beaurocrats, which I don't."
Ron, who had been caught up in the tale with the rest of the class, looked down and saw Hermione scribbling furiously. "Why are you writing this down?"
"It might come in handy."
"Now," Mal said brightly, "Everyone take out your homework. Come on, I'll take five points off anyone that doesn't hand it in."
Harry bit his nails. "Darn, I haven't finished mine."
"Oh, give it here," Hermione whispered impatiently. "Let's see... yes, and- there. That should do. You won't get full marks, mind," She added disapprovingly.
Harry grinned at her. "Thanks!"
Everyone had left. She walked to the desk he had been sitting at and scraped something off it, then shook Battye's shoulder. "Come on you deaf old bugger, we don't have any classes till after lunch."