Chapter Three: Terrible Twos
A/N: I know that they act more like four year olds in this, but I'm trying! Just pretend that they are really smart two and a half year olds.
***
Gordo's POV
Lizzie was a fast learner. Soon she began to talk as well as I could. Everywhere we'd go, she'd shout: 'Look-it, Da-id!' By age two we both could say our 'v's, but Lizzie refused to call me David. She said that 'Da-id soundeds betterer.'
Along with her constant blabbering, Lizzie learned how to get into mischief. She loved messing stuff up. I remember this one time when we were almost three...
"Da-id, we *hafta* eat cookies. Me hungry!" She whined.
I frowned. "Me too. I haven't ated since one thirty o'clock." (A/N: I'm serious, I know some kids who actually say 'one thirty o'clock'. It's hilarious!)
"Let's go tell Terry."
We ran into Lizzie's living room, where Terry, our babysitter was watching her soaps on TV. "Terry, me and Da-id are hungry!"
"Please! No! Come on Ashley! Don't let him do that to you... Brian's so much better looking..." She started yelling at the television set.
We exchanged confused glances. I went up to her and pulled on her pant leg. "Te-reeeeee!" I whined.
"Don't break up! He's just setting you up!" She responded.
I ran into the kitchen, where Lizzie was waiting for me. "She won't listen."
Lizzie smiled as a grin covered her face. "Ooh, let's make some cookies all my ourselves! It's easy. I see Mommy doing it a lot, and me thinks we can make some too!"
Now, if I was only a little older, I'd realize how bad of an idea this was, but hey, I was only two and a half. "Okay."
Lizzie walked into the living room once again. "Terry, what do me and Da-id needs to make cookies?" She asked.
"Flour, sugar, three teaspoons of baking powder... oh, great. She fell for him. Can't she see that he's just doing so he can break her and Brian up?" Terry started yelling at the television again.
Lizzie bounded back into the kitchen. "She said we needs flowers, sugar, and three tea spoons of powder."
"Where can we get flowers?" I asked her, eyeing the window. "Ooh, lookie!" I pointed outside where some daisies were growing in a garden.
"Let's go!"
We ran outside, and pulled out of the ground four flowers. The garden looked horrible by the time we came inside. "Ooh, pretty flowers." Lizzie said.
We climbed up onto the counter using a chair. "Ooh, I know this part! Mommy always does it. She put the flowers in that thingie!" I pointed at the blender.
Lizzie stuffed all the flowers into the blender. "Okay, now we need sugar."
I looked at Lizzie weirdly. "What's *that*?"
"Mommy always uses this white stuff when she makes cookie." Lizzie pointed at the salt. "She calls it 'sugar'."
Soon the salt shaker was in the blender, too.
"Now what?"
"Three tea spoons." Lizzie made a face. "This is hard."
"Wait, mommy and daddy drink that yucky tea stuff! And my daddy always uses a teeny spoon to mix up his tea!" I picked up a plastic fork laying by the sink. "There. Tea spoon."
"But we needs three of 'em."
I picked up two more silverware spoons out of the sink and stuffed them into the blender. "Three."
"Powder! Oh! I know this one! Mommy always puts powder on me after I take a bathie!" Lizzie smiled.
"Me too!"
We slowly inched our way off the counter, once again using the chair so we didn't fall, and hobbled toward Lizzie's room, where a box of Johnson's baby powder was lying on the floor. We picked it up and ran into the kitchen again, tossing the box into the blender. And then we waited.
And waited.
And waited.
"Maybe it wants some water." Lizzie suggested, so we poured cupfuls of water into the blender, hoping that our cookies would be done.
But it didn't move.
"Hmmm... Mommy always pressed buttons." I said, staring at the five buttons that lined the blender. "Then the cookies got made."
Lizzie curiously pressed a button.
The blender started whirring, shooting water up into the air, along with clopped up flowers. The salt shaker and silverware were making awful clanking noises. Soon Lizzie and I were drenched in a gross mixture of water and baby powder.
"AHHHHH!" Lizzie screamed. "Make it stop! Stop it!!!!"
We both started crying right there on the counter, with the blender still running, and water dripping onto our heads from the ceiling.
Terry ran into the kitchen. "Oh, god, what did you guys do!?" She yelled, pulling the plug out of the outlet.
Everything stopped. Even our crying.
Lizzie bowed her head and stuck her lower lip out. "Sorry." She trembled.
Terry looked at me, expecting an answer.
"Sorry."
That was just one of the many 'sorry's to come.
A/N: I know that they act more like four year olds in this, but I'm trying! Just pretend that they are really smart two and a half year olds.
***
Gordo's POV
Lizzie was a fast learner. Soon she began to talk as well as I could. Everywhere we'd go, she'd shout: 'Look-it, Da-id!' By age two we both could say our 'v's, but Lizzie refused to call me David. She said that 'Da-id soundeds betterer.'
Along with her constant blabbering, Lizzie learned how to get into mischief. She loved messing stuff up. I remember this one time when we were almost three...
"Da-id, we *hafta* eat cookies. Me hungry!" She whined.
I frowned. "Me too. I haven't ated since one thirty o'clock." (A/N: I'm serious, I know some kids who actually say 'one thirty o'clock'. It's hilarious!)
"Let's go tell Terry."
We ran into Lizzie's living room, where Terry, our babysitter was watching her soaps on TV. "Terry, me and Da-id are hungry!"
"Please! No! Come on Ashley! Don't let him do that to you... Brian's so much better looking..." She started yelling at the television set.
We exchanged confused glances. I went up to her and pulled on her pant leg. "Te-reeeeee!" I whined.
"Don't break up! He's just setting you up!" She responded.
I ran into the kitchen, where Lizzie was waiting for me. "She won't listen."
Lizzie smiled as a grin covered her face. "Ooh, let's make some cookies all my ourselves! It's easy. I see Mommy doing it a lot, and me thinks we can make some too!"
Now, if I was only a little older, I'd realize how bad of an idea this was, but hey, I was only two and a half. "Okay."
Lizzie walked into the living room once again. "Terry, what do me and Da-id needs to make cookies?" She asked.
"Flour, sugar, three teaspoons of baking powder... oh, great. She fell for him. Can't she see that he's just doing so he can break her and Brian up?" Terry started yelling at the television again.
Lizzie bounded back into the kitchen. "She said we needs flowers, sugar, and three tea spoons of powder."
"Where can we get flowers?" I asked her, eyeing the window. "Ooh, lookie!" I pointed outside where some daisies were growing in a garden.
"Let's go!"
We ran outside, and pulled out of the ground four flowers. The garden looked horrible by the time we came inside. "Ooh, pretty flowers." Lizzie said.
We climbed up onto the counter using a chair. "Ooh, I know this part! Mommy always does it. She put the flowers in that thingie!" I pointed at the blender.
Lizzie stuffed all the flowers into the blender. "Okay, now we need sugar."
I looked at Lizzie weirdly. "What's *that*?"
"Mommy always uses this white stuff when she makes cookie." Lizzie pointed at the salt. "She calls it 'sugar'."
Soon the salt shaker was in the blender, too.
"Now what?"
"Three tea spoons." Lizzie made a face. "This is hard."
"Wait, mommy and daddy drink that yucky tea stuff! And my daddy always uses a teeny spoon to mix up his tea!" I picked up a plastic fork laying by the sink. "There. Tea spoon."
"But we needs three of 'em."
I picked up two more silverware spoons out of the sink and stuffed them into the blender. "Three."
"Powder! Oh! I know this one! Mommy always puts powder on me after I take a bathie!" Lizzie smiled.
"Me too!"
We slowly inched our way off the counter, once again using the chair so we didn't fall, and hobbled toward Lizzie's room, where a box of Johnson's baby powder was lying on the floor. We picked it up and ran into the kitchen again, tossing the box into the blender. And then we waited.
And waited.
And waited.
"Maybe it wants some water." Lizzie suggested, so we poured cupfuls of water into the blender, hoping that our cookies would be done.
But it didn't move.
"Hmmm... Mommy always pressed buttons." I said, staring at the five buttons that lined the blender. "Then the cookies got made."
Lizzie curiously pressed a button.
The blender started whirring, shooting water up into the air, along with clopped up flowers. The salt shaker and silverware were making awful clanking noises. Soon Lizzie and I were drenched in a gross mixture of water and baby powder.
"AHHHHH!" Lizzie screamed. "Make it stop! Stop it!!!!"
We both started crying right there on the counter, with the blender still running, and water dripping onto our heads from the ceiling.
Terry ran into the kitchen. "Oh, god, what did you guys do!?" She yelled, pulling the plug out of the outlet.
Everything stopped. Even our crying.
Lizzie bowed her head and stuck her lower lip out. "Sorry." She trembled.
Terry looked at me, expecting an answer.
"Sorry."
That was just one of the many 'sorry's to come.