A/N: You know what, I feel like such an idiot. I just realised that for the past two chapters, the title has read "Learning To Play Nice". You see, that was the original title, before my friend helped me out (that is, she helped me think of a better one…). Agh. Why didn't anyone tell me! I feel like such a humongous fart. :) But never mind that, *stares hard above at title*, this one reads the correct one! Haha, read on!
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Chapter 4*~*~*~
Ginny really still had no idea who was to be her lucky recipient of the "Coach Ginny Weasley Into The Baddest Girl That Hogwarts Has Ever Seen". In short, CGWITBGTHHES. In shorter, she needed a teacher. Fast.
In fact, as she mused over her as-yet-undone homework, now would be a good time. If she planned to hook a guy in let's say, by the end of her fifth year, now would the perfect time to start her "training", as she liked to call it.
But it really wasn't her fault, if all the boys she knew, were all either too volatile, innocent, or just plain unsuitable for the possibly daunting task.
*~*
Draco shuffled back nervously a step. Perhaps, it was the wrong time.
Indeed it was. And it was, for him to retreat at least. His foot caught on the rough flagstone, and he stumbled back. Of course, this was done with the utmost grace possible, in such a situation. You see, Malfoys never stumble. They merely happen to decide that they need to appear more plebeian, to blend in with the commoners, hence the need to appear to have faults, or so says the 'Malfoy Commandments for Dummies' in rule number 186.18.36.15.
And to keep in accordance with this rule, (to which the punishment was most unpleasant, as claimed by other older members of the Malfoy clan), Draco was most smug, when he managed to contain the great surprise that threatened to work onto his face, like a piece of toast begging to be eaten, when Luna "Loony" Lovegood suddenly turned around, her bulbous eyes bulging merrily away at him.
She opened her mouth, as if to say something, then closed it, raising her hand to tuck her straggly blond hair behind her ear. Draco eyed that hand nervously, as she ran it through her hair, pushing the strands behind her ear. He wondered if she ever washed behind her ears. There was a popular Muggle myth, that said if the behind of one's ears were dirty, potato plants could start growing there. And he really didn't care to find out. Plus, potatoes were disgusting little plants that ought to be blasted out of this universe.
Draco cleared his throat confidently, as he ran through his beforehand-prepared speech mentally. It was a sure winner, the speech was. It was one whopper of a speech that was guaranteed to blow the socks off every girl. Or so Blaise Zabini claimed, as he handed over this sure-fire, tried-and-test formula to Draco. Draco hoped fervently that this warranty didn't backfire.
He just knew how much his fist would ache after knocking out more of Blaise's teeth.
"Well Luna, spif-"
The barmy girl interrupted him. She dared to interrupt the great Draco Malfoy! Obviously, she didn't know the meaning of the word manners. How… unrefined. Draco knew he had to do something, or at least complete the first sentence of his memorised speech!
On the other hand, who knew what this loony bugger could do. Draco decided to keep silent, hoping that it was a wise move.
"Draco is it not? Ah well, you woke me from my sleep. I was in the big wasteland. You do know, that the great wizard Bloke Bush, discovered that most people thought that Dreamland actually existed, when in actual fact it is a huge wasteland. And I saw a Crumpled-Horn Snorkack. It was just brilliant, the blue sunlight glinting off its purple scales. Ah, and the beauty of the scales! They were purple with yellow polka dots…"
The crazy one trailed off, her eyes glazed over, as she propped her chin dreamily on her hand. Draco scratched his chin, wondering if this was the time to finish his speech to this total whacko. These kind of decisions were generally harder to make, considering his target audience was one who slept with her eyes open. It certainly was fishy, pun not intended. However, he was spared that decision, when Luna abruptly swung her face upwards, her enormous eyes staring distantly into his grey ones.
"Ah yes… I do hope I didn't interrupt you from anything. I daresay you'd like to continue whatever you were saying just now? Perhaps I could be of service."
Caught off-guard with this comment, Draco blurted out in his haste. "I'd like to ask you out to Hogsmeade."
Luna stared back serenely, her lips fixed in a faraway smile. "I'd love to…"
Draco decided then and there to go back to his dorm later, and kill a goat. "Great! Um, I'll meet you… at um…"
"However, I must say, despite the fact that most people say you are very good looking, I fail to see what's so appealing about those nice shiny blond locks, and those pretty eyes…"
Draco was perplexed, but let her continue. Instead, Luna stood up, her skirt seeming to float around her thin frame, her hair flopping about her face.
"So I'd have to decline. And I must say, no one really wants to go out with a mean person like you…"
To his great shock and chagrin, Luna then wandered off, absolutely lost in her own purple and yellow-polka-dotted world. Now, Draco was most annoyed, and an annoyed Malfoy is never a good one.
He spun around angrily, and stalked down the length of the Ravenclaw table, ignoring the funny stares he was receiving. How dare she reject a Malfoy? No one did that, unless they had a death wish! This girl seriously needed some lessons in terror, and boy, she needed one heck of a psychologist.
As he neared the end of the table, once again, to his huge embarrassment, he tripped over another jutting flagstone, this time not managing to keep his balance, and he fell over.
*~*
Ginny heard a crash coming from behind her, and she turned around in curiosity. Who was that inconsiderate dolt? He was interrupting her plans!
She stared out at the Ravenclaw table, where the fuss seemed to be coming from. What exactly was going on? She saw a mussed blond head pop up from the mass of bodies and limbs. An unwitting first-year Ravenclaw turned around absently, and asked, "Hey are you okay?"
A seemingly most irate Draco Malfoy suddenly caught up the front of the boy's robes, pulling him out of his seat up to his eye-level, snarling, "My dear boy, I am never okay. In fact, I am always fine and dandy. Do you have a problem with that?"
Wooot. Looked like someone got up from the wrong side of bed today. Ginny munched slowly on her roll. This looked like to be a real drama today.
The Ravenclaw's eyes widened, and he stammered nervously, his hands clutching at his assailant's hands gathered at the front of his robes, "Oh no… um… Nothing. Absolutely nothing."
Malfoy's eyes narrowed into glittering slits of malice, and he sneered, "Thank you. Now back off, and let me continue walking."
He then dropped the Ravenclaw unceremoniously on the floor, and stalked off in a huff, his shoes clicking against the stones rhythmically, as the teachers started from the head table. The first-year huddled in a heap on the floor, whimpering piteously, as his housemates gathered comfortingly around him. Vaguely, Ginny made out the soft murmurs.
"It's okay, Picket. Malfoy's just one mean asshole."
"Malfoy's so bad! How could he do that to poor, innocent Picket!"
"C'mon Picket. Cheer up!"
Ginny rolled her eyes. For Ravenclaws, they sure weren't that bright.
She had a sudden thought, an impulsive flash of inspiration. The Ravenclaw had mentioned… "Malfoy's so bad". She squealed in joy, clapping her hands together, earning her another funny look from Colin.
That was her ticket to big-time badness!
Now if she could only get Malfoy to agree to help her…
*~*
Draco stormed out of the hall, fuming mad. It did feel good to take his anger and mortification out on the first-year though. He smirked in self-satisfaction, leaning against the wall, breathing heavily.
He heard footsteps behind him, and he turned around, glaring instinctively at the approaching person.
Why why, it was little Virginia Weasley. And why the heck did she have this huge blinding grin on her face? He raised an eyebrow.
She grinned a bit more, and he thought she was starting to look a little silly now, what with that huge smile and all. What a nutter. Great, he just had to choose a nutter to pursue as his first goal. He had to be screwed in this thinking, and Draco mentally beat his head against the wall.
He spat out coldly, "Is there something you want Weasley? If it's me, you're not getting me."
Ginny beamed exultantly, "Well you hit the nail right on the bloody head Malfoy! I want… you."
Draco stared. Perhaps he was hallucinating.
Ginny elaborated, "You see, I need something… um… and you um… can um… possibly… helpmeoutwiththat."
Draco's eye twitched. "In English please."
Ginny sighed gustily, "Please don't ask me why, but I would like to learn to be bad, and I think you'd be a great teacher."
Draco's eye positively jumped. "You want me to teach you to be what?"
Ginny blushed a furious red, and nodded quickly.
He had to be hallucinating. Maybe the crazy house-elves added some extra ingredients to the bacon. Draco rubbed his face, quickly thinking over the pros and cons.
If anyone found out, it would definitely be the end to his reputation. Big Bad Malfoy, teaching Sweet Innocent Weasley. Scandalous, it was. Besides, he would be tainted so often with Weasley filth.
On the other hand, this little… excursion would help him catch the fish that was Virginia Weasley. Besides, if he succeeded, he would be more than just stained with Weasley filth. He would be doing it with her. Plus, it was almost certified to be great fun, at the Weasley's expense.
He had another great idea. Perhaps, while he was educating her in the ways of bad-dom, she could help him out in the good department! Boy, was he brilliant.
Pleased with his quick thinking, Draco exhaled, and answered with a carefully added amount of suitable scorn, "Only if you help me with something."
*~*
References:
I must confess, that Muggle myth thing isn't really a myth. I just remember what Enid Blyton wrote about in one of her stories for kids. :D That was a long long time ago, when I was still young and impressionably innocent. A very long time ago.
And purple with yellow polka dots is ganked from my friend, which incidentally, is her favourite colour(s). :D
*~*
A/N: This is the longest chapter I've ever posted! Woot. Go me go me! :) And I typed it out in just one hour! Well, hope you enjoyed that. :D R/R please, you know the drill! :)
Oh yes, and the person who guesses what Draco was saying to Luna when she cut him off gets um, I don't know. I don't have anything to give. How about the next chapter dedicated to them? :)
These people I 3:
Chryz Go away. You know I don't do D/Hr. And you got your D/G action at last. If you can call that action. Hurhur. And you of all people should know how busy we are going to be! Update soon indeed. :)
SnoOza I don't think the teachers would understand. Hahaha. Ooh ooh ooh! FLAME FLAMEEE! *evil crazed glint in eye* Gimme the penname first! :D
Nichole Malfoy You got Draco! And Ginny too! Thanks for reviewing! :)xPlayer Haterx Thank you for the compliment! :D
bigreader Careful you don't do that too often. Might be bad for the facial muscles. :D Haha just kidding. And yes, hope you enjoyed the last bit. :)
Ranting Idiot Glad you like the humour. And yes I know that Draco and Ginny are terribly OOC. But you see, this is a humour fic. :D Hope you aren't too offended or anything. Thanks for reviewing!
Adie It's okay to be impatient. :D If not I wouldn't update. Haha. Thanks for reviewing! And isn't this chapter longer?? :P Hurhur.
Cithara Thank you! :) *gets down to writing more*
Writer Gurl4 Thank you so much. :P
Yingiexiangie Blurb! I like Colin too! It should sound familiar… I did send it to you before you know. :D Hahaha. Thanks for reviewing darling! I love you too!!! 3
I love you people! Lots and lots. You know, without you guys reviewing, I really wouldn't be bothered to update at all. Haha.