Routine-2

By: SquishyGamgee May 31 2004

[A/N just so you know, I'm making it so that Lily and Jessi know that Remus is a werewolf… for my own special reasons ;-)]

I was rethinking my situation with my shirt as I walked into the Great Hall amongst catcalls and low whistles. I got inappropriate stares and looks of want. And that was just from McGonagall! I tried to ignore all of the commotion about my shirtless nature, but it was getting unbearable. I threw down my fork loudly, and it clanged against my plate. "I'll see you guys later, the level of immaturity has risen to a point where it is astounding that anyone can even feed themselves." My short tirade ended when I stood and strode out of the hall, now amidst the glares of the school. Sheesh make up your minds people, do you like me or hate me?

I hurried up to the North Tower where we were to have Divination in approximately… twenty-one minutes. I sighed as I heaved myself onto on of the overstuffed poufs, as far in the back as I could get. I started to scribble randomly on a piece of paper until words formed and turned into a very disturbing poem. I looked at it until I heard footsteps outside of the classroom, I quickly shoved the paper into my bag so no one could see it. I shifted uncomfortably when he walked in. Feeling his eyes on me until he sat down in front of me. Thank all the Valar and Valier for sitting in the back. A piece of paper flew in my direction from his seat. I opened it, and it read: Remus, I like what I see; too bad it would be indecent to see more. Meet me at the lake at nine tonight if you want. ;-)

I almost threw up right there. I could taste the bile in my mouth. Swallowing hard I threw another piece of parchment, hitting him square in the back of the head. I really wanted to call Ralph on the big white phone right then. It was uncomfortable silence until some other Slytherins started coming into the room. They talked quietly to Snape and ignored me thankfully, well except for the usual glares, but I could tell that some of those weren't seated with the usual hatred, but with an appraising look. Shuddering I turned my back to them and waited for Peter, the other two marauders were taking Arithmancy, believe it or not.

I sighed in relief when I felt Peter tap me on the shoulder to get by. He sat on the pouf next to me. I shoved the piece of parchment that Snape had flung at me into his hands. He read it and I saw him blanch. His usual happy expression was contorted in disgust. Running his long fingers through his blonde hair. I could hear him scribble hastily on the paper.

Mr. Wormtail would like to throw up for the second time this day.

Mr. Moony say that Mr. Wormtail should get in line.

Mr. Wormtail shakes his head with disgust. He cannot believe the nerve of Grease Boy. He would also like to ask Mr. Moony if he replied.

Mr. Moony nods and says that he told G.B that he'd rather fuck a Balrog up the ass then get within a ten mile radius of G.B again.

Peter burst out laughing so loud that their batty old Divination teacher, Madam Raedell, stopped class, whatever they were doing. "Excuse me Mr. Lupin and Mr. Pettigrew. I now volunteer you both to come up here and let me read your palms as a demonstration." We got up groaning slightly, and I unfortunately had to pass by Snape. I kept my head up high and ignored him, but I yelped out and jumped when I felt someone pinch my ass. "Snape! Do that again and I'll KILL you!" I hissed at him. "Looking forward to it." He said silkily back. Shuddering violently I continued on up to the front of the room.

"Ah, Mr. Lupin, you first." Raedell said as I crossed my arms over my chest. I was surprised that she hadn't told me to put my shirt back on. but I could automatically tell why. I shuddered slightly when I offered my palm unresponsively to her. Smiling seductively she announced only loud enough so he could hear, "You have a long and choppy love line Mr. Lupin, you will make and break many hearts over your lifetime." I opened my mouth to say something, but decided against it. I yanked my hand back and walked calmly back to my seat, only pausing briefly to kick Snape hard in the shins for staring at me again.

The rest of that class went by too painfully slow for me. I had to kick Snape again when he came up to my table. "Hey Lupin… You know I know about your condition and I had one eensy little question. Does your kind do it doggy style? Because I'm always game to try new things." My mouth dropped open. Sputtering I stood up. "Ten why don't you try this? I'm sure you haven't tried it before." I kicked him so hard in the nuts that he doubled over. Raedell looked up and asked what was the matter. "Oh nothing," I answered, "Snape here needs to use the bathroom really bad." I shoved him, disgusted at having to touch him, away from me.

I ran out of the north tower when the class was over. I suffered through History, which was relatively boring as usual. Nothing did happen besides the note that was shared between the guys and Lily and Jessi.

Jessi: How was Divination guys?

Remus: You don't want to know. Really… I think I need to use a memory charm on myself.

Peter: I wouldn't blame you buddy x.X That was traumatizing just to watch!

Lily: Was it that bad?

James: Grease Boy again?

Sirius: Do I have to kill him?

Jessi: don't go killing anyone until we know what he did. And why did you say again James?

Peter: He kissed Remus…

Jessi: I'll kill him.

Remus: Im touched but… in Divination he passed me a note… to go meet him somewhere, because he'd like to see more of me and ugg… and when Raedell called us up to the front, he pinched my ass! It was disgusting and everything I said he made a snide perverted comment back! He even dared t ask me… I cant even say it… for that I kicked him in the nuts.

Sirius: …what did he say?

James: …I'm, going to throw up…

Lily:…I'm with you, some one give me a bucket.

Jessi:… I'll kill him and then resurrect him and then kill him again! He's mine…

Peter: Do you want me to say it Remus? You seem too traumatized to say it.

Remus: Please…

Peter: Well Grease Boy [G.B] had the nerve to come to our table and ask Remusif he knew if werewolves do it doggy style, and if he was interested in teaching him [Remus teaching G.B] Valar that was priceless the look on his face when you kicked him… but Im sorry that he traumatized you.

Sirius: Lets start an angry mob!

James: Grab your fire! Its sure to catch rapidly onto his hair!

Lily: Hey Jessi babe, do you still have that pitchfork from your costume in third year?

Jessi: Yes… I see where that is going… transfiguring it.. Heh. His skanky greasy ass is ours. He isn't going to live to his eighteenth birthday.

The class ended there, and on the way out Jessi tripped Snape, He fell flat on his face. For good measure I kicked him again before leaving him behind. My new 'posse' as some would call it were laughing when they stepped on his back to get out of the room. We all retired to the common room, and being exhausted I stretched lazily across the couch, making it so there were less chairs than people. Sirius sat on my stomach and peter on my legs, giving the chairs to Lily, James, and Jessi. I groaned loudly in protest to the extra weight. I rolled over and they tumbled off, I started to flail as Sirius wrapped his arms around my waist. I fell on top of them, James looked like he was about to piss himself. Lily told us not to move as she dug something out of her bag. I heard a click and saw a flash. She took a picture. Jumping up, forgetting there were two people under me I jumped on top of Lily amidst her laughing and shrieks of unwillingness to give up the film. I gave up but didn't move off of her lap. "Oi! Remus get off my girlfriend!" James sounded scandalized. I wrapped my arms around her neck and she continued to laugh. "She like me better! She's my girl now." I could see a fleeting look of jealousy on Jessi's face, but my back being to James I mouthed to her, play along…

"Of course Lily likes Remus better. Just look at him. So sculpted and tall and tan…" Lily said trailing off staring at my chest. "He's also smart, and tries at school, not to mention he's alluring with the fact that he actually likes to talk about things besides quidditch." Jessi added smiling. James sputtered, sounding scandalized. "Fine be that way. I hope both of you are happy." I laughed when I got up. "Its ok Jamesie-poo. I'll leave your girlfriend alone. Besides, I like Jessi here more."

I said that without realizing it as I sat down, when she gave me a funny look I answered it with a questioning, "What?"