A/N: Here's the posting schedule: All week I write, then I post only on weekends. OK? By the by…I HAVE A SPIKE MAGNET! YAY!!!!
Things are definitely weirder around here since Aunt Dru came along. I know, I thought it was impossible too. You see, my Aunt Dru is, how can I say this nicely? A card-carrying, union member loony. She has no shred of sanity whatsoever! All she ever does is wander around the house and play with her dolls. Which are, you may as well know, all blindfolded. And in varying states of decay. Many don't have both ears. Uncle Giles says she's just "disoriented". Yeah sure. The first thing the godmother I had never met said to me was, "You've got a smoking duck on your head. Quack quack it says." She's British, like Dad and Uncle Giles. But she has the most drifty voice you've ever heard. It's constantly changing pitch and she sways when she talks. Maybe she's a druggie. Probably. Mom doesn't seem to like her. She's always trying to stay out of the room Aunt Dru is in, and actually making Dad do stuff. At night, anyway. Dad and Uncle Angel are the Conflicto-men. Dad seems both thrilled to see her, and unhappy. Uncle Angel seems very unhappy, but secretly thrilled. Opposite sides of the same coin. That's a really weird saying. Can't let my mind wander….
"Is that a diary pet?" I spun around to see Aunt Drusilla hovering in my doorway, smiling that mindless smile. Today she's wearing a pair of Mom's jeans and one of Dad's old t-shirts. Somehow she looked more at home in the antique dress.
"Not exactly," I told her, discreetly closing my journal and sliding on top of it. Dru clucked her tongue and waggled a finger at me, still smiling widely.
"Now, now. You can't keep secrets from your Aunt Drusilla. I know. I always know," she drifted off, staring blankly into space. Now I was feeling uncomfortable.
"Yeah. You know, I think I hear Mom calling for you," I urged. She turned her head slowly and stared at me without comprehension. Then, ever as slowly, she nodded.
"I need to find some tea for Miss Edith. She has been improving and we must reward her, mustn't we?" She floated out of the doorway and I heard her drift down the stairs.
She is sooo freaky. Makes me really nervous. The way she stares at you with those big, bright eyes. It's almost like she knows things about you that you can't tell anyone else. Or not. I think she's affecting me. The whole "I always know" thing has got me jittery. But Aunt Dru really is shaking things up at our house. I heard Mom and Dad arguing when they thought I was listening to my Walkman.
"You let him invite her into our home?! How could you do this? What about Jenny?" Mom had demanded.
"You heard what Fluff told us. Your beloved Captain Cardboard has been fiddling with my Dru and-"
"Your Dru? Oh, so suddenly you're all protective and affectionate? And you told me that was over," she growled.
"It is over! I just meant, I know what she's going through right now. Dru was never equal to you Sunshine," he put his arms around her and the argument was over.
See how things are with them? So apparently Dad and Aunt Dru were, horror of horrors, "involved". Spare me the gooky details, please. So yeah. I'm just happy it's Friday. Bronze night! I'm finally going to get out of this crazy house. A whole group of girls is coming. Cat, some of her dance squad, me of course, and Cat thinks Snap might show! Ooh, cue high-pitched girly squeals! But right now, I'm thinking about what to wear. I was thinking blue jeans, not too tight, not too baggy, with this funky lavender chiffon midriff over a black tee. Sexy, huh? With those boots Faith lent me! Perfect! Yikes, better start getting dressed!
I descended the stairs, a picture of female goodness. Let Snap show, I'm gonna blow him away! Now, just have to wait for Faith to show up and I'm outta here!
"Hey Nibble," I tensed and turned to see Dad standing in the kitchen doorway, "Faith called to tell you she couldn't make it tonight." My head spins, I moan with unhappiness. How could she do this to me? And here comes Aunt Dru, from the living room.
"I'm bored," she whined, resting an arm on Dad's sleeve, "Give me something to do, sweet Willy." Sweet Willy? Back off auntie, this man's taken. Dad looks from Dru to me and back again. Then he grins widely and puts an arm around Aunt Dru.
"Don't you worry Dru. We're going dancing. Just give us a minute luv, and we can all go to the Bronze." NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
We are at the Bronze, luckily no one has come yet. I haven't seen Dad or Aunt Drusilla yet either. After that car ride, I'm not surprised if she's throwing up. Dad is probably the worst driver I've ever seen. But then again, it might have something to do with the fact someone "mysteriously" spilled black paint over all the windows. I'm just hoping that paint got "spilled" over the license plate too. I don't want anyone to know it was us with all those mailboxes. And the street light. And the "Drive Safely!" sign. Wait, here come people. Tell more later.
"So I said to him, I really couldn't care less if-" One of Cat's dance friends stopped in the middle of her very amusing story and began to drool into her soda, "Oh my god. Girls, don't look now but the hottest guy in the world is in our little club." Everyone cautiously peeks onto the floor and voices their agreements. I, of course, sat with my back to the dance floor so I can't turn around and look without being really obvious. Damn.
"Oh god, he's fine!"
"But it looks like he's got someone with him."
"You can look now Jen, he turned away," Cat urged. I slowly turned around, preparing myself for some goodness of the male kind.
"He's right there, by the speaker on the left," one girl pointed out. I gazed over there and choked. Guess who? Totally decked out in black leather, with a (thankfully) tastefully simple silver chain around his neck is, thank you lady luck, my father. With Aunt Dru waltzing around him like a total hippie. She's got another red ensemble, pleather skirt with halter. Stolen from Mom's closet I would think. Dear lord why do you hate me? And now I'm filled with disgust. My friends are crushing on my dad. Shudder, shudder, ewwwww. Oh no, coming this way. What do I do? What do I-
"Hey pet, having a good time?" He smiled, Dru still swaying slightly off tempo. All my friends melt in their stools. God is this gross.
"William, I want to dance…" Aunt Dru sang, waving her arms fluidly.
"Hi! I don't think I've seen you around here, I'm Cat," My poor, poor friend. You love a man who is WAY too old for you.
"William," he shook her hand and I saw her shiver involuntarily. He always did have really cold hands. Funny-story girl decided to ask the question I had been dreading.
"So, how do you know Jenny?" It was all I could do not to squeeze my eyes shut and wish to disappear. I kept my eyes open and wished to disappear. Here it comes, the big one. My cover is blown.
"Oh, we go way back. Anyone want a drink? Dru and me were just heading over," I could not believe my ears. He kept the secret! He didn't betray me and toss me to the evil wolves of high school! Maybe he doesn't suck so much after all.
"But I don't want a drink, William. I want to dance," Aunt Drusilla whined, tugging on his sleeve pathetically. Dad rolled his eyes to make the girls giggle then turned to me.
"Say luv, do you want to stay and dance with Dru?" As my friends all turned to look at me he gave me a "do-what-I-say-now-or-I-blow-this-whole-thing-wide-open-and-humiliate-you-for-the-rest-of-your-existence" look.
"Sure. Grab me a Pepsi." I carefully led Aunt Dru back onto the dance floor and she smiled brightly at me.
"Now the cherubs are happy and we can all bathe in peace," she said with out a hint of sarcasm or humor. I would now like to thank all the powers that be she didn't say that in the presence of my friends. Who have no idea my house is an undercover insane asylum.
Quite a night. I can scarcely believe Dad didn't tell everyone we were related. I'm in such a good mood, I postponed mixing hot pink dye in with Uncle Angel's hair gel. So he should be singing praises too. Hey, I just realized I haven't said one thing about what I look like in here. Fancy that. Guess that means I'm getting less superficial. But, I might as well tell you because, haven't got anything else to write about tonight. Okay, thankfully, I didn't inherit Mom's adorable blonde look. I've got kinda caramely-ish hair. Which must be Dad's color underneath all the dye. My eyes are kind of nondescript "dark". Sorta brown, sorta hazely, sorta black-ish. And I'm average height. So while I'm not petite like Mom is, I don't really tower over people. So that's me. Nondescript and all that. I'm bummed that Snap never showed. Not that I would dare even talk to him with Dad around. Talk about over protective! He can somehow even tell if I sat next to a guy science lab! He's like psychic or something. Well, now I'm tired. So I'm going to take my normal, nondescript bum to bed. Good night.