Routine-4
A/N- Mind you It is 6:30 A.M and I Haven't slept in twenty one and forty six minutes. So please bare with me.
I sighed loudly and started towards the portrait, thinking. What did Dumbledore want? Was it because I had boxed Snape? Well he deserved it. Slimy bastard. I shuddered at the thought of his long fingers pinching my ass again. And again. The moment just kept on coming back. I could feel the blood rush out of my face as I paled. I was shaken out of my thoughts when I walked right into something. Or rather someone. "Watch where you are going Mr. Lupin. As your friends have so graciously" Wow was that a look of unbridled anger? Or disappointment? Well, anyhow… "pointed out, you should go get properly dressed before accompanying me to the headmasters office. Off you go, you've got all of two minutes to become decent." I heard the tone of mockery and even, gasp shock horror! Playfulness in our dear old Minnie's voice. Urgh. What has this school been reduced to?
Shuddering at my own thoughts, I bolted as fast as I could upstairs. Sneering to no one as the laughter of my friends reached my ears. Ha ha funny. Make fun of the werewolf who unwillingly, or rather was unassuming at the reaction he would get by walking on the wild side. I wanted a different reaction, and woo-boy. Did I ever get it. The eyes all the eyes. God how I hate eyes… the stares, the whistles, and whispers. Sheesh it was enough for any person to go insane from! I shook my head rather violently as I bent over my trunk pulling out a pair of plaid pajama bottoms, and an overly large white t-shirt. Getting into them quickly I raced down the stairs, not bothering to cover my feet, I was used to the cold floor anyways. My friends were still laughing at my expense, or so I thought, when I tripped into the common room, my own foot caught on the hem of my pajama pants, pulling them and my boxers down dangerously low. I could feel the color rush back to my face as I hitched them up again. "See you guys later… If I'm not mauled by G.B" I said quirking an eyebrow as I headed back over to McGonagall. "Sorry, Professor. Hope I didn't delay you too much." I tried to ignore the quiet sniggers of the group as I headed out of the portrait hole, BEHIND McGonagall. Ugg, I would NOT want anyone like her behind me.
The trip was silent, except for when I tripped again, this time landing on my ass. Successfully pulling down my pants and boxers again. "You've got to be more careful Mr. Lupin. Maybe if you pulled the drawstring on you pajama bottoms you wouldn't trip over them so much. Hurry up and get off the floor. Dumbledore said it was urgent." She said trying to keep her somewhat stern appearance. Pah! Stern… Haven't seen that side in ages, mostly because she favors us Gryffindors. I pity her, because she came in during my second year, and had no warning of our little habits to pull pranks. Now thats aPity. We stopped in front of the gargoyle that concealed the stairs to Dumbledore's office. Been here too many times to be surprised the 'springing to life' act the stone figure put on every time someone mentioned a really rather random sweet. What was up with Dumbledore anyhow. If anyone else had figured out the trend they could just randomly spout off names of candy and eventually get the right one. Such a nutter that we all trust with our lives. But hey, there's no use In arguing he's a kind hearted nutter. Climbing the spiraling staircase with a faint smile on my lips, I stopped when I started getting dizzy. Good, I'm at the top landing. I hesitated in raising a fist to knock, but before I could even let one knuckle even rap at the oak, a voice from within startled me. I practically jumped before reaching out and grabbing the long curved bronze handle. Pushing it down I drew in a long sharp breath as the door swung open, almost without any force from me. Weird.
Anyway, I stepped into the large round office, and my smile simply just fell off my face when my eyes locked onto one of Severus Snape's. The other had swelled shut. Whoops. Ha, the bastard deserved it… "Ah, good evening Mr. Lupin, usual seat?" Dumbledore's ever twinkling eyes assessed my outfit. Shrugging I sat down in the seat I always sat in. Couldn't be a trip to Dumbledore's office without sitting in the same seat. People keep on telling me I have OCD. No of course not, I just liked consistency. I can't go more than five minutes without looking at my watch, if I had it. My right hand was clasped around my left wrist where my watch would be. Damnit. Forgot it. My intones were rudely interrupted by the nutter. "Mr. Lupin. I have heard a story, or rather a complaint from Mr. Snape, saying that you attacked him. As I can see he does have a black eye and a bloody lip. Would you like to explain your side of the story?" Oh how I wanted to go over there and give Snape another black-eye at the snide and yet again longing smirk was giving me. "Well, I plead self defense in the fact that Snape has been sexually harassing me all day."
I spat suddenly outraged. Wow how random, but I've learned to live with the mood swings. Better they came when I could actually use them to my advantage. "Sexual harassment! HA! You wish Lupin." "I have the fucking bruises to prove it Snape. You pinched my ass so hard it'd be bruised 'til next week!" I shouted standing up, yet again outraged, furious, etc. Ah, I forgot to watch my language. But I don't really care. I felt sort of violated… after what he'd been saying about me last year, he had no right to come on to me. None at all. "Language Mr. Lupin, and I assure you, we won't be needing to see the bruises. Can you also explain what exactly Mr. Snape has done today?" Hmm… Did I want to lose my dignity…pah. What dignity? I'm a marauder, I gave that up the second I became friends with Sirius. Or just get the bloody tosser in trouble. We both vote choice number two.
"Well, at first it was just him staring at me, but in divination not only did he pinch my uhm butt, but made snide sexual remarks, and even sent me a note with inappropriate suggestions on it. It was only a matter of time when I actually boxed him. He placed his hand on my ass for the last time. I swear if he even looks at me the wrong way I'll make sure he'll need to spend a week in the hospital wing." I blame my words on the full moon. Really I do. Not my fault it's tomorrow. And believe you me, werewolves aren't always tired before full moons, we can get a little bit wild and rather rambunctious at times. We only get tired AFTER the full moon. "Now now Mr. Lupin calm down. I assure you that if Mr. Snape ever does do anything unmoral against you, He will be punished. Now both of you, I suggest you go back to your dormitories before anyone misses you." I had never sat back down, and Snape jumped up almost as quickly as I had. "What? He doesn't get punished for assaulting a student? Great side with the bloody werewolf. Father was right, this place is going to the dogs."
What a pity. His father may not be able to see the asshole ever again. "You sexually assaulted me first Snape. You're even lucky nothing is broken. Yet, or even disconnected." I snapped. Ouch, that would rather hurt wouldn't it. I even saw Dumbledore flinch slightly out of the corner of my eye. Damn I'm good tonight. "Well… but…" The stupid asshole sputtered. "Goodnight gentlemen. Next time I won't let either of you two off so easily." Heh. Well. Mission accomplished sort of. Snape would most likely get off my case after my last threat, and if he didn't. Well then he'd see what it'd feel like to no longer possess certain parts that it took to actually be labeled a man. Nodding more in relief, I turned and ran out of the office, not wanting to have to talk to the bastard anymore than I had to. Once I was a good few corridors and staircases up, I stopped to catch my breath. That was certainly… weird. Well actually, that was just something that hadn't happened. To me anyway. Walking casually back to the common room, I headed McGonagall's advice and tied the drawstring of my pants, after I tripped, yet again, but this time, I happened to trip into an unfortunate third year Gryffindor girl.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I always thought James was the clumsy one, but I guess not." I offered my hand down to her after standing up myself. She glanced up at giggled loudly. Pulling herself up with my hand she nearly knocked me back onto my ass as she ran away as if I were Voldemort myself. Dodgy little girl… Shrugging I started back on my journey to the Common Room. Muttering the password, I got a weird look from the portrait. "Not going to apologize for you last comment? I assure you, you aren't going in until you do. That really hurt my feelings." The fat l;ady said sobbing. Oh bull freaking shit. Why me? Why does this happen to me? "I-I'm sorry. You aren't fat, in fact you'd be the one I would ask to be my girlfriend if you weren't a portrait…" What in the name of Anor had just come over me? I'm shallow sometimes, or maybe it's just the wolf, but she was ugly with a capital UG. "Y-you mean it?" I nodded. Smiling through her 'tears' she swung open and let me in the common room. "Thank bloody fucking Merlin." I swore loudly, not caring about the little ears hearing me swear. Fuck them all right now for all I cared.
"Oh, but I'd rather not fuck merlin..." Unsurprisingly, THEY were all still there, bar Sirius. I glared at them all for laughing at me before. "So, how'd your little 'date' go Remmie? Did you and Minnie have a grand old time?" Peter asked snickering. "Or did you and Minnie have a good 'trip' rather?" Ooh, his little rat ass was mine. "Bugger off Peter." I muttered sitting down on the unoccupied end of the couch, as far away as I could get from them. "Oh, went that bad did it? Rotten luck mate, maybe you could always ask her to the next dance. You two would look smashing dancing with each other." James said joining in on the Remus bashing. God they were both going to pay…. Just wait. Oh ha, how spiteful I can be. "Picture perfect couple Remus, I have to admit" For the first time in five years, I stuck my tongue out, at Jessi. "Just as good of a couple you and Og would be." I retorted. Og was the caretaker, very very very UGLY and revolting. More like Snape's type.
"And what is this? 'Everyone poke fun at Remus day?' Why wasn't I notified? And where the hell is Sirius?" "My Aren't we full of questions Mr. Lupin." Well, that answered my question as to where Sirius was. Apparently he had nicked some food from the kitchens. Dropping the food onto the table, he sat between Wormtail and I. I glared at him. Still bothered about being laughed at. "So what did Dumbledore want? I mean besides you, seems like everyone else wants a piece of you now a days. Pity, there won't be any left for Minnie once Sevvie is done."
I laughed. Oh how I laughed in his face. "He's going to be missing one important piece to whatever unlucky whore he ends up marrying if he touches me again." I spat angrily. I was dead serious on taking up home surgery, or rather Hogwarts surgery. Nothing but me, him and a bloody hacksaw. I got strange looks. "Seriously? Remus isn't that going a wee bit too far to threaten him in that way?" James said voice wavering slightly. I watched in amusement as my three best friends crossed their legs at the same time. "Oh, I have no problem in dealing with the source of my problems, and I wouldn't hold back when emphasizing my point. Push me too far and you get dealt with accordingly." Lily and Jessi were red from laughing at James', Peter's, and Sirius' faces. They looked appalled that I could threaten anyone's manhood. Well, serves them right. Make fun of me, and you get pay back. "I'm off to bed again. You dare try to disturb me, and Snape's personal rearrangement will have to wait. You three will be first." I sneered mockingly as I stood back up and moved to the stairs. I flashed them a sic kingly sweet grin before saying in a sing song voice, "Goodnight!"
A/N and yes Og is a real canon character
A/N- Mind you It is 6:30 A.M and I Haven't slept in twenty one and forty six minutes. So please bare with me.
I sighed loudly and started towards the portrait, thinking. What did Dumbledore want? Was it because I had boxed Snape? Well he deserved it. Slimy bastard. I shuddered at the thought of his long fingers pinching my ass again. And again. The moment just kept on coming back. I could feel the blood rush out of my face as I paled. I was shaken out of my thoughts when I walked right into something. Or rather someone. "Watch where you are going Mr. Lupin. As your friends have so graciously" Wow was that a look of unbridled anger? Or disappointment? Well, anyhow… "pointed out, you should go get properly dressed before accompanying me to the headmasters office. Off you go, you've got all of two minutes to become decent." I heard the tone of mockery and even, gasp shock horror! Playfulness in our dear old Minnie's voice. Urgh. What has this school been reduced to?
Shuddering at my own thoughts, I bolted as fast as I could upstairs. Sneering to no one as the laughter of my friends reached my ears. Ha ha funny. Make fun of the werewolf who unwillingly, or rather was unassuming at the reaction he would get by walking on the wild side. I wanted a different reaction, and woo-boy. Did I ever get it. The eyes all the eyes. God how I hate eyes… the stares, the whistles, and whispers. Sheesh it was enough for any person to go insane from! I shook my head rather violently as I bent over my trunk pulling out a pair of plaid pajama bottoms, and an overly large white t-shirt. Getting into them quickly I raced down the stairs, not bothering to cover my feet, I was used to the cold floor anyways. My friends were still laughing at my expense, or so I thought, when I tripped into the common room, my own foot caught on the hem of my pajama pants, pulling them and my boxers down dangerously low. I could feel the color rush back to my face as I hitched them up again. "See you guys later… If I'm not mauled by G.B" I said quirking an eyebrow as I headed back over to McGonagall. "Sorry, Professor. Hope I didn't delay you too much." I tried to ignore the quiet sniggers of the group as I headed out of the portrait hole, BEHIND McGonagall. Ugg, I would NOT want anyone like her behind me.
The trip was silent, except for when I tripped again, this time landing on my ass. Successfully pulling down my pants and boxers again. "You've got to be more careful Mr. Lupin. Maybe if you pulled the drawstring on you pajama bottoms you wouldn't trip over them so much. Hurry up and get off the floor. Dumbledore said it was urgent." She said trying to keep her somewhat stern appearance. Pah! Stern… Haven't seen that side in ages, mostly because she favors us Gryffindors. I pity her, because she came in during my second year, and had no warning of our little habits to pull pranks. Now thats aPity. We stopped in front of the gargoyle that concealed the stairs to Dumbledore's office. Been here too many times to be surprised the 'springing to life' act the stone figure put on every time someone mentioned a really rather random sweet. What was up with Dumbledore anyhow. If anyone else had figured out the trend they could just randomly spout off names of candy and eventually get the right one. Such a nutter that we all trust with our lives. But hey, there's no use In arguing he's a kind hearted nutter. Climbing the spiraling staircase with a faint smile on my lips, I stopped when I started getting dizzy. Good, I'm at the top landing. I hesitated in raising a fist to knock, but before I could even let one knuckle even rap at the oak, a voice from within startled me. I practically jumped before reaching out and grabbing the long curved bronze handle. Pushing it down I drew in a long sharp breath as the door swung open, almost without any force from me. Weird.
Anyway, I stepped into the large round office, and my smile simply just fell off my face when my eyes locked onto one of Severus Snape's. The other had swelled shut. Whoops. Ha, the bastard deserved it… "Ah, good evening Mr. Lupin, usual seat?" Dumbledore's ever twinkling eyes assessed my outfit. Shrugging I sat down in the seat I always sat in. Couldn't be a trip to Dumbledore's office without sitting in the same seat. People keep on telling me I have OCD. No of course not, I just liked consistency. I can't go more than five minutes without looking at my watch, if I had it. My right hand was clasped around my left wrist where my watch would be. Damnit. Forgot it. My intones were rudely interrupted by the nutter. "Mr. Lupin. I have heard a story, or rather a complaint from Mr. Snape, saying that you attacked him. As I can see he does have a black eye and a bloody lip. Would you like to explain your side of the story?" Oh how I wanted to go over there and give Snape another black-eye at the snide and yet again longing smirk was giving me. "Well, I plead self defense in the fact that Snape has been sexually harassing me all day."
I spat suddenly outraged. Wow how random, but I've learned to live with the mood swings. Better they came when I could actually use them to my advantage. "Sexual harassment! HA! You wish Lupin." "I have the fucking bruises to prove it Snape. You pinched my ass so hard it'd be bruised 'til next week!" I shouted standing up, yet again outraged, furious, etc. Ah, I forgot to watch my language. But I don't really care. I felt sort of violated… after what he'd been saying about me last year, he had no right to come on to me. None at all. "Language Mr. Lupin, and I assure you, we won't be needing to see the bruises. Can you also explain what exactly Mr. Snape has done today?" Hmm… Did I want to lose my dignity…pah. What dignity? I'm a marauder, I gave that up the second I became friends with Sirius. Or just get the bloody tosser in trouble. We both vote choice number two.
"Well, at first it was just him staring at me, but in divination not only did he pinch my uhm butt, but made snide sexual remarks, and even sent me a note with inappropriate suggestions on it. It was only a matter of time when I actually boxed him. He placed his hand on my ass for the last time. I swear if he even looks at me the wrong way I'll make sure he'll need to spend a week in the hospital wing." I blame my words on the full moon. Really I do. Not my fault it's tomorrow. And believe you me, werewolves aren't always tired before full moons, we can get a little bit wild and rather rambunctious at times. We only get tired AFTER the full moon. "Now now Mr. Lupin calm down. I assure you that if Mr. Snape ever does do anything unmoral against you, He will be punished. Now both of you, I suggest you go back to your dormitories before anyone misses you." I had never sat back down, and Snape jumped up almost as quickly as I had. "What? He doesn't get punished for assaulting a student? Great side with the bloody werewolf. Father was right, this place is going to the dogs."
What a pity. His father may not be able to see the asshole ever again. "You sexually assaulted me first Snape. You're even lucky nothing is broken. Yet, or even disconnected." I snapped. Ouch, that would rather hurt wouldn't it. I even saw Dumbledore flinch slightly out of the corner of my eye. Damn I'm good tonight. "Well… but…" The stupid asshole sputtered. "Goodnight gentlemen. Next time I won't let either of you two off so easily." Heh. Well. Mission accomplished sort of. Snape would most likely get off my case after my last threat, and if he didn't. Well then he'd see what it'd feel like to no longer possess certain parts that it took to actually be labeled a man. Nodding more in relief, I turned and ran out of the office, not wanting to have to talk to the bastard anymore than I had to. Once I was a good few corridors and staircases up, I stopped to catch my breath. That was certainly… weird. Well actually, that was just something that hadn't happened. To me anyway. Walking casually back to the common room, I headed McGonagall's advice and tied the drawstring of my pants, after I tripped, yet again, but this time, I happened to trip into an unfortunate third year Gryffindor girl.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I always thought James was the clumsy one, but I guess not." I offered my hand down to her after standing up myself. She glanced up at giggled loudly. Pulling herself up with my hand she nearly knocked me back onto my ass as she ran away as if I were Voldemort myself. Dodgy little girl… Shrugging I started back on my journey to the Common Room. Muttering the password, I got a weird look from the portrait. "Not going to apologize for you last comment? I assure you, you aren't going in until you do. That really hurt my feelings." The fat l;ady said sobbing. Oh bull freaking shit. Why me? Why does this happen to me? "I-I'm sorry. You aren't fat, in fact you'd be the one I would ask to be my girlfriend if you weren't a portrait…" What in the name of Anor had just come over me? I'm shallow sometimes, or maybe it's just the wolf, but she was ugly with a capital UG. "Y-you mean it?" I nodded. Smiling through her 'tears' she swung open and let me in the common room. "Thank bloody fucking Merlin." I swore loudly, not caring about the little ears hearing me swear. Fuck them all right now for all I cared.
"Oh, but I'd rather not fuck merlin..." Unsurprisingly, THEY were all still there, bar Sirius. I glared at them all for laughing at me before. "So, how'd your little 'date' go Remmie? Did you and Minnie have a grand old time?" Peter asked snickering. "Or did you and Minnie have a good 'trip' rather?" Ooh, his little rat ass was mine. "Bugger off Peter." I muttered sitting down on the unoccupied end of the couch, as far away as I could get from them. "Oh, went that bad did it? Rotten luck mate, maybe you could always ask her to the next dance. You two would look smashing dancing with each other." James said joining in on the Remus bashing. God they were both going to pay…. Just wait. Oh ha, how spiteful I can be. "Picture perfect couple Remus, I have to admit" For the first time in five years, I stuck my tongue out, at Jessi. "Just as good of a couple you and Og would be." I retorted. Og was the caretaker, very very very UGLY and revolting. More like Snape's type.
"And what is this? 'Everyone poke fun at Remus day?' Why wasn't I notified? And where the hell is Sirius?" "My Aren't we full of questions Mr. Lupin." Well, that answered my question as to where Sirius was. Apparently he had nicked some food from the kitchens. Dropping the food onto the table, he sat between Wormtail and I. I glared at him. Still bothered about being laughed at. "So what did Dumbledore want? I mean besides you, seems like everyone else wants a piece of you now a days. Pity, there won't be any left for Minnie once Sevvie is done."
I laughed. Oh how I laughed in his face. "He's going to be missing one important piece to whatever unlucky whore he ends up marrying if he touches me again." I spat angrily. I was dead serious on taking up home surgery, or rather Hogwarts surgery. Nothing but me, him and a bloody hacksaw. I got strange looks. "Seriously? Remus isn't that going a wee bit too far to threaten him in that way?" James said voice wavering slightly. I watched in amusement as my three best friends crossed their legs at the same time. "Oh, I have no problem in dealing with the source of my problems, and I wouldn't hold back when emphasizing my point. Push me too far and you get dealt with accordingly." Lily and Jessi were red from laughing at James', Peter's, and Sirius' faces. They looked appalled that I could threaten anyone's manhood. Well, serves them right. Make fun of me, and you get pay back. "I'm off to bed again. You dare try to disturb me, and Snape's personal rearrangement will have to wait. You three will be first." I sneered mockingly as I stood back up and moved to the stairs. I flashed them a sic kingly sweet grin before saying in a sing song voice, "Goodnight!"
A/N and yes Og is a real canon character