"So, that's it?" Doyle asks, unable to stop the doubt from seeping into his voice. "It looks like a kid's video game."
The top of the headset resembles a helmet before it loops down. And the goggles that go over the eyes, still connected to the rest of the headset, are blackened out. Doyle can't help feeling cynical.
"Hey, all the great things look simple to simple minds."
Steve talks like he is quoting something but it is either an original Steve or Doyle just doesn't know the source. Either way, he doesn't really care.
"I just slip this on? And I can see anyone?"
"Not just see. It is more than that. I can't really explain it in words, but you'll get it."
Doyle runs his hand over the smooth helmet again and questions, not for the first time, if all of this is really happening.
"Well! I guess I'll just leave you alone now. People and their Views can be really personal. Especially on their first time." Steve jesters towards the door. "Be seeing ya."
Doyle watches the only creature he knows in all of this dimension leave. Follows Steve with his eyes from one end of the building to the other. One end of Angel Investigations offices to the other. One end of Doyle's new home to other.
Steve called it mental projection. Said that Doyle's memories and warmest feelings of being well, home led to his new home. So to see Doyle's new home be Angel Investigations offices. Even he hadn't realized he felt that strongly about the place.
Doyle slowly picks up The View. It is lighter than he would have expected. Shouldn't the power it seems to possess weigh it down? Steve said that the hardest part of the process was deciding who to watch first. Doyle couldn't disagree. Would it be his mother, probably not even yet told of her son's death? Would it be Harry, hopefully happy and safe with the memories of all the good times they shared together? But Doyle seemed to be only an observer as his traitorous mouth whispers, "Cordelia Chase."
And he had just enough time to wonder about his mouth's loyalty when the hands had decided to switch sides and work for the enemy as well, before he was launched into The View.
Cordelia likes the soft sound her ballpoint pen makes rubbing against the magazine. The new trendy clothes may be out of her price range now, but their looks are not immune to the powers of her pen. She focuses on finding the perfect outfit, focuses only on finding the perfect outfit, which the magazine has to offer and pretends that later she'll buy them. Pretends that not affording it is the biggest problem in her life.
"Food's here."
Cordelia looks from Angel to the takeout box in his hand. Silently puts down her magazine and pen, marking the spot for later, and goes with Angel to his kitchen below the office.
They eat without much conversation. Cordelia doesn't ask why Angel is eating with her and Angel doesn't ask Cordelia why she doesn't go home. Neither seems to taste the food.
After the table has been cleared, Angel goes to his bedroom. Wordlessly, Cordelia produces the pillow and blanket from where she left it and the cleaned area on the floor. Mentally, she has begun to call it her spot. A far cry from her old life but now everything, with the exception of her magazine subscriptions, seems to be.
The floor is cold and still a little dusty. Cordelia thinks of her clean, warm bed in her apartment. But that won't do. Because thinking of her apartment means remembering that Doyle got her the perfect place. And that makes her think of Doyle. Doyle is gone and can't come back ever again.
Cordelia closes her eyes to shut out the world and vainly hopes that it will affect her thoughts too. A bird cries in the distance and she honestly isn't sure if it's confused or she is. Working for a vampire hasn't helped her sense of bedtime. The bird is still crying when she wakes up. Of course, it may be a different one, but she doubts it. Pain and sorrow can not just be transferred.
"Morning." Angel's voice behind her doesn't scare her anymore. "
Is it?"
"Um... its bright out. With, you know, the sun."
"So that's a yes?"
"Yes." Cordelia nods. "Okay."
So they begin the day again. Work on the same cases as the day before, walk the same circles around each other. Cordelia circles the same magazine and dreads having to go home to her haunted apartment that night. They both ignore the same pain from missing Doyle.
The work day ends as unofficially as it began. Angel wonders away and back, producing take-out menus. He drops them on her desk, silently telling her to choose what they'll be eating tonight.
The thought of a second night's food pulls Doyle back to reality. With a sift movement, he reaches up and yanks The View off of him. For a moment, everything looks too bright. Watching through Cordelia had been strange for many reasons; only one being that everything had a dim glow to it. Here the same offices seem less harsh and more pleasant. Things fall back into place, from what Doyle can tell.
Most of his mind is still back at the Angel Investigations in LA. It had been sad to see Angel and Cordy unable to move on when Doyle was handling everything okay, considering. He felt a stab of guilt for causing them pain but a sharper one for being almost glad to see it. To know he is missed, that he made that big of an impact during life, gave him a sicken sense of pride. Which only makes him feel worse.
"Right then," Doyle begins, talking to himself. "Food it is."
Slowly, Doyle comes to his feet. His legs don't feel any more unused than usual. Steve's comment about no time floats back to him in heaven. Having nothing to do an eternity in which to do it, Doyle lets himself out of the familiar building. There is another elevator directly outside the doors. Putting one foot slowly in front of the other, keeping his eyes on the elevator at the same time, he lets himself into the little metal shaft.
"Which button do you want?"
Doyle turns to face the voice behind him. He wonders he has lost his ability to sense others in a room or if everyone here is just really good at sneaking up on him.
"Uh, I'm really not sure." The girl, the first one that Doyle has seen since his arrive that looks human, smiles. "Newbie?"
"Guess so."
"You'll get used to everything soon enough. Here elevators are, like, the only transportation you'll need." Her brown eyes look Doyle up and down. He tries to pretend he isn't thinking about Cordelia.
"Where can I get food? Good food?"
"Everywhere here has good food. Perfectly made for everyone's tastes. You'll love whatever you eat. But you know you don't have to."
"I don't have to like what I eat?"
"No, you don't have to eat. We don't need it. But it is enjoyable. And there is no harm it now. No chance to gain weight or be unhealthy."
The girl takes a step towards Doyle while she talks and he can small her light perfume. He wouldn't have that people in heaven needed to use perfume but he isn't complaining. For once, he really isn't thinking about Cordelia.
"Do you know the level system yet?" Doyle shakes his head. "Floor 1 is food. Floor 2 is sports. 3, entrainment. 4, nature. Level 5 has all the famous places on Earth that people never got to go see but always to. 6 has all the schools, libraries, and knowledge centers. 7 allows for social gatherings of mental projections and Viewings. Whatever you want, you got. It's kinda nice."
He nods, she makes it sound it. "What about the other ones?"
"Don't worry about those. No one uses the rest without special direction. 8 and up is only for the staff. You know, someone has to work to keep things up to this level. And L, or Lobby, is only for picking up and bringing in the new ones as they arrive."
A glimpse of the endless white nothing returns to Doyle's mind. That is what they call the Lobby? "Oh," he says, like his head isn't spinning. "Oh."
The girl laughs. "I know it must sound like a lot, but you'll remember the floor soon enough. It isn't really that hard."
"Oh." Doyle stares at the panel before him. "I guess it'll be level 1 then."
The girl smiles again and Doyle goes right back to thinking about Cordelia. "Great. Why don't I join you? I know all the best places to eat." Doyle ignores the part of his brain that remembers her saying everything was had the best place to eat and nods. "That'd be great."
= = =Amanda= = =