Well, everybody has ran off and left me. Grandpa left as fast as he possibly could to get away from us. Can't blame him. Andrew finally went back to his own apartment. Mom and Dad are off on a "retreat". So I got left here with Uncle Xander and Anya. I wasn't sure why they needed to retreat, but now my mind is full of all sorts of lovely images. The dialogue that follows happened this morning after they left:
Me: Why did Mom and Dad go on a retreat?
Xander: They wanted to…uh…bond and…
Anya: Oh Xander you can't do anything! They left so they could have lots and lots of sex whenever they wanted.
Me: Oh.
Thank you Aunt Anya. I am scarred for life. So, let's get my mind off the subject. My search for an activity is not going well. I have ruled out anything to do with music. I have no rhythm. And the Drama Club is all full. I can't draw for beans, and I couldn't win a chess game to save my soul. At this rate, the only group that will accept me are those vampire worshippers down at the Sunset Club. And they're really scary. All they do is play violent music and wish they would burn in sunlight. Weirdos. And yes, I am sure you're wondering how I knew vampires burned in sunlight. Thank Ham. He's been helping me research. Translation: He's been doing my research for me. Hey! I could join the occult club! It's not like I have to be into any of that stuff, I just need to show up and nod. Would Mom and Dad let me? Do I have to tell them? Wish that stupid band could see me now. Not telling my parents about extracurricular activities, I am one bad bad-ass!!!! Oh ow, I stabbed myself with my pen…
Later
All in all, it was a good day. I didn't write so much, because I was actually having what those mortals call "fun". Uncle Xander and I played poker. Not only am I $20 richer, I made Uncle Xander cry! Anya, for all her faults, burns meat surprisingly skillfully and orders one mean pizza. Now for the rest of the night, it's just me and Monty Python. (Thank you to Uncle Giles for the DVD set) I'm actually in an awesome mood. Too bad I can't have such a fun weekend without the knowledge my parents are have probably been screwing each other all day. Oh. Shoot. Now I'm going to have very disturbing dreams.