Chapter Three
Disclaimers: I DON'T OWN COWBOY BEBOPFaye just sat there, watching Spike read the letter over and over again. She couldn't do anything.
Her nightmare was going to become a reality. Her whole world was crashing around her.
Spike couldn't believe it. Julia was alive. His body slid to the floor his mind trying to accept the new information.
He looked at the letter and then turned to Faye.
"Spike are you okay?" Faye touched his shoulder but he just moved her hand away.
He looked at her with anger in his eyes.
"If I had gotten home later, you wouldn't have shown me the letter right?" Faye turned her head
away. She couldn't answer him.
"Damn it Faye! Answer me!" He grabbed her chin so that they were face to face. Faye continued
to gaze at him. She was silent. She didn't know what to say. Spike pushed her away from him.
He bowed down his head and turned around.
Faye slowly stood up. "What am I suppose to do? I didn't want you to leave me." She was
speaking so softly that Spike almost didn't hear her. "What was I suppose to do, when the only
thing you think about is her? We've been married for two years and I thought we were happy but I guess not.
" She walked slowly to their room and shut the door.
Spike looked at the door. He didn't know what was happening. He loved Faye, but he couldn't get over Julia.
She was his first love, and she was still apart of him. He didn't know what was happening to them. He didn't mean to
yell at Faye. It was just, he didn't know. He would have never dreamed that Julia would be alive. After a few months
after her death, he thought that he had finally come to terms with it. Apparently he didn't. Things were not going his way.
He walked into the guest room and tried to get some sleep with tears in his eyes.
Faye didn't want to get out of bed. Her eyes were red and puffy and her head hurt. She didn't want to face Spike.
She slowly got out of bed and walked into the kitchen. He was there with his back facing her.
"Spike?" Faye slowly walked towards him. "Are you still mad at me?"
Spike turned around, his eyes looking past her. "Look, I can't talk right now. I have to go work. We'll talk when I get back home.
He turned around and drank the rest of his coffee, put his jacket on and without a single good bye, he walked out the door.
She didn't know what to do anymore. Her life was crashing around her and she couldn't stop it. She stared at the door many
minutes after it had been shut. She fell asleep on the kitchen floor. Yes, she would wait until he got home and they would talk.
She wasn't going to let their relationship fall apart.
Faye awoke to the sound of the front door opening.
"Spike is that you?" She got up and walked towards the door.
Spike sat down on the sofa and looked at her, and gestured her to sit down on one of the chairs across from him.
He noticed her eyes were slightly puffy and red. Suddenly, an overwhelming feeling of guilt passed through him but he just
shook it aside.
"Faye, about yesterday, I'm still mad at you, but I understand why you would have wanted to destroy the letter."
Faye made a sigh of relief.
"So…if you understand…then you aren't going to meet up with her?" Her eyes looked questionably at Spike.
"I understand, yes, but I'm still going to meet with her. I know you don't understand, but there is still apart of her in me.
I need to see her in order to know what my feelings are." Spike looked at pleading her to understand.
She looked down at her hands, rubbing them together. "Why Spike? What do you mean you need to know what your feelings are?
Are you telling me the whole time we were married you didn't know how you felt?" She threw her hands up in the air.
"I'm not saying that. Look, you just don't understand. When we were married, I still had feelings for Julia, but she was gone,
and so my feelings for you became stronger."
By now their voices had risen and were close to shouting. "So your telling me you only married because she was gone
and I was there! What about the vows we took? What about the love we had!" She was frustrated. She wanted to rip her hair out.
"When we got married, I married you out of love. I just need to know what my feelings are. Things are different."
They are both standing now shouting at each other.
"You married me out of love? Are you sure about that? For all I know you just used me. Your precious Julia was gone
and I was the only one there. How do you not know how you feel? She was dead for two years. We lived happily together.
What happened? Just forget about her. Come one Spike, what are you feelings for me?"
Spike was getting angry. She didn't understand what he was going through.
"Look Faye! You just don't understand what I'm going through right now. You're not even trying. "
"I am trying. But how can you not be certain about your feelings after what we've been through. We've been through
so much, and still your not sure. I just don't know what to think anymore."
"Please Faye, just try to understand where I'm coming from and be rational…"
"You want me to be rational! When you were depressed, who took care of you and made you happy again? ME!
When you were sick who took care of you! ME! When you needed someone to talk to, who listened to your problems?
ME! I did everything for you, I gave you my love and my soul and now your telling me you don't know how you feel?"
"I'm grateful for what you've done but the truth is I don't know if I love you anymore or not!"
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