He starts marking his time by how long until he can use The View again.
It feels like an addiction, like it is wrong, but no one else seems to have a problem with it. In the beginning of his stay, it hadn't been like that. Doyle knows that he's grown more attached to The View as his time, basically alone, has gone on. He blames it on the fact that he only has one person he can talk to here, one person that he can call a friend.
The first thing that Doyle discovered through talking with the girl over a breakfast meal on that first day was that she actually had a name. The name, as it turned out, was Lisa. The second thing he learned was that he enjoys spending time with her much more than he ever did with Steve. The third thing he learned was the only one that disappointed him. It was that she was not human, but a demon.
"Why does that bother you? This is a demon heaven." She had asked on that first day, swirling some milk into her coffee mug.
"I know that. But I was hoping that, every once and a while, maybe a human or two slipped in. One that, you know, understood about demons. And fought the good fight."
"Missing someone?"
Doyle's hand had tightened around his mug of coffee. He could have lied, could have acted brave and say no. She hadn't known him at the time so it would have been easy for him to reinvent himself as strong and withdrawn. In the end, though, he went for the truth. "Aren't we all?"
Lisa had nodded; he remembers her brown hair falling down from its bun to lay on her shoulders.
"It is why The View is so popular."
His eggs were still hot, even though he'd ignored them to talk, so he had scooped a forkful into his mouth. He remembers questioning if that was what heaven is really all about. Always having warm eggs and watching those you miss.
Doyle isn't quite sure his view of it has changed. Lisa will sometimes say that he just wants to be miserable. She might be right. Heaven is great, if you can spend it with someone.
The only one Doyle has is Lisa and, while she is friend, Doyle can't see as anything more. Always watching her sister, Alexandra, and her husband Alem'ra Jua; Lisa is hardly trying to dissuade Doyle from becoming too attached to The View. Doyle knows that Lisa and her sister are completely assimilated into the human culture in looks and actions. Alem'ra Jua; however, is a practicing Chaos Demon. Doyle just hopes that it isn't Angel that ends up killing him.
This leads him to think about Angel. What is Angel doing now? Is he with Cordelia? Doyle just has to find out.
He has seen her transfer from a beautiful, overly confident actress to the demon fighting woman she is now. Time is marked for him through how much she has grown. How much has changed in Angel Investigations marks time for him. When he is honest to himself, he can admit that the addition of Wesley so soon after his own departure did hurt. To see him fit in where Doyle had to leave due to an expected case of death? It hurt no matter how much he tried to ignore that part of himself.
But Wesley had changed. Doyle may not have physically been there to see it, but he has watched from The View. Seen all there is to see. Is Wesley with Cordelia right now? Are they on the job with Angel? With Gunn? With that new girl, Fred? Last thing Doyle had seen was the four of them taking care of the baby. Angel having a baby still concerns Doyle but he can't seem to stop wanting to watch what happens.
He finds the headset right where he left it. Runs one hand lovingly across its smooth black surface. It feels as welcoming as always. Grabbing the end of it, Doyle pulls it over his head in the familiar jester. He leans forward and whispers, "Cordelia Chase."
The sweet smell of baby powder fills the room. It isn't the smell that bothers her; it is the fact that the powder has managed to get everywhere.
Men! Leave them to clean a baby and all they do is create a mess!
"Boys. What happened here?" She can keep her voice calm.
Wesley and Gunn slowly turn towards her. They both have spots of white dashed across random areas of clothing and faces. One of Wesley's glasses is almost completely white. As she spoke, they both winced.
"I hope you don't think that I'm cleaning this up," she told them, still keeping her voice sound calm with effort.
Both men seemed to shrink back before her. It was too cute. Let them think she is trying to contain anger when she is really trying to keep in the laughter.
Cordelia let her eyes leave the funny site of Wes and Gunn to find Connor sitting on the floor. He lies on top of several blankets covered in fresh, white powder.
"Come here, baby." She croons as she picks him up.
Her fingers are turning whiter by the second but she doesn't mind. Cradling Connor protectively in her arms, she turns towards Wes and Gunn again.
"This is the last time either of two try to change a diaper."
"Fine by us!" Gunn responses, smiling.
Men!
Cordelia tightens his arms around Connor and turns her back to her friends. She can already hear the shuffle of things behind her as they attempt to clean up their mess. She can't wait to tell Angel. She'll replay it all to him, lying on his bed with Connor in between them. Lazily, she'll retell how messy Wes and Gunn got themselves. He will smile and regret missing it. Then he'll go all protective and threaten to never leave Gunn or Wes with his son again.
Cordelia smiles to herself as she sees it happening in her head.
Her head. Her head HURTS.
"Vis-ion!" She screams before the pain really slams her skull.
Someone's taken the baby from her but she only half notices. There is too much blood. Blood and blood and blood and maybe a body under all of it. A figure above it. Find a location. Find a location. Find a –
Doyle slips off the The View. He hates having to see Cordy having a painful vision. He still feels a guilty for causing her pain. It was for the best, he knows this; even she knows this. But he still feels guilty whenever she suffers through visions.
And lately she seems to be having more and more painful ones. He watches her when even Angel can't. At home, when she is still suffering from the pain hours after the vision has come and left.
"Boo."
Doyle isn't surprised to see Lisa sitting on his couch, swinging her legs a little as she watches him. He has waited as she used The View and she has waited as he has many times before.
"Have a good Viewing?"
"I guess." Doyle shrugs. "I wish I were there."
Lisa nods.
"How is she?" He doesn't need to ask who Lisa means.
"Same. She's forgotten about me."
And he really hadn't meant to answer with that. Or with that much bitterness in his voice.
"No one could forget about you. I bet she remembers you at every vision."
"Yeah, she probably curses my name at the end of every vision."
"Well, you'll never know if you never stay in The View till the end." Lisa has a point but Doyle isn't ready to admit that yet.
"Want to see a movie?"
Lisa rolls her eyes. She's told him several times that she hates his way of changing the conversation when he is uncomfortable.
"Yeah. I want to see that one we were talking about the last time we went out."
They always talk like this. It gets kind of hard to keep tract of how long ago a conversation happened when time doesn't exist.
"Sounds like fun. Let's go."
He is doing it all too quickly. Doyle knows this. Moving out too quickly just proves what Lisa already knows. But if she already knows, then why try to change his ways? Lisa is rolling her eyes but she is also standing up. They walk to the elevator together. Doyle leans forward and pressing the button marked 3.
===Amanda===