"Jenny?"
"Baby…"
"Nibble, come on…" I opened my eyes slowly to see everybody hanging over me. Everybody including: Mom, Uncle Xander, Anya, Aunt Willow, Faith, Uncle Giles, Uncle Angel, and Dad. Dad! I scooted away from his worried face, trying to hide behind a pillow. I knew it was irrational. I knew he could still see me. But I had to get away from him. I wanted to distance myself as far away as I could. His face, now normal, drooped, and he backed away. Mom put a hand on his arm and gave him a light kiss on the cheek.
"What…is…going…on…" I asked, staring at them, suspicion now overtaking the pain in my head. Why did Dad look all freaky?
"Bloody…" Dad began, rubbing his head thoughtfully, "Where to…well…Buffy, you do it." Mom rolled her eyes and stepped forward.
"You see, honey. We're not, exactly…what we appear."
Later
Back in the journal. My head is spinning, so I think I'll write this down to try and figure it out. Mom is the Slayer. It's her duty to kill evil stuff. Like vampires and demons, which, by the way, really do exist. Uncle Giles used to be her Watcher, which means he trained her and stuff, but he got fired and then Mom quit. So they just fought demons on their own. Faith is a Slayer too. Even though there's only supposed to be one. Which I don't really get. Anyway, Aunt Willow isn't just a Wicca, she's a real witch. At least I know now why the Wizard of Oz upset her so much. She's done all sorts of cool stuff, even brought Mom back from the dead. Anya used to be a demon. But she isn't anymore. She lost her powers. And her tact. Uncle Xander is still a normal guy. At least one thing hasn't changed. And here's the answer to the Daily Double. Dad is a vampire. So is Uncle Angel and Aunt Dru. All three of them are soulless blood-sucking fiends. Well, they used to be. None of them are blood-suckers anymore, and Dad and Uncle Angel both have souls. Didn't ask. And we've had some severely twisted relationships going on. Here's the list.
Jenny's List of Twisted (Sometimes Incestuous) Relationships
Angel Drusilla: Uncle Angel made Aunt Dru a vampire. But first he drove her insane. Nice guy, huh? Well, they were going for a while, until he got bored of her. Which led to…
Spike/William Drusilla: Turns out Dad is actually that "William the Bloody" guy Ham keeps talking about. Well, Uncle Angel was sick of Aunt Dru, and Aunt Dru was sick of being ignored, till she met Dad when for some odd reason he was wandering in an alley. She turned him into a vampire and they were together for like, a century.
Angel Buffy: Yeah, Mom was Uncle Angel's first girlfriend after he got his soul. Then she…ick ick ick…slept with him and he lost the soul. He turned evil, tried to kill all of my other Aunts/Uncles until Mom killed him. But he came back. This boy doesn't die easy. But they couldn't be together, cue violins, so he went to live in L.A.
AngelSpike/WilliamDrusilla: Warning=love triangle. When he was evil, Uncle Angel liked to flirt with Aunt Dru who had always adored him in some sick way to make Dad jealous and grumpy. Which it did.
Spike/William Buffy: The only lasting relationship here. Mom and Dad. Just like Ham said. Dad came back and forth causing havoc and generally trying to kill Mom. Then he realized he loved her…had a very sick obsession phase…and then she realized she loved him back and the rest led to me.
Jenny's List of Things That Make A Lot More Sense Now
Andrew-Turns out he murdered his best friend and was egged on by Warren-dude. Who was actually "The First". Then his friend kept coming back to haunt him, though it wasn't really him, it was "The First" again, which was this evil thing that could take the form of any dead person. Mom defeated it. Big surprise. Dad vs. Uncle Angel-Apparently Dad is still mad at Uncle Angel for a. coming between him and Aunt Dru and b. sleeping with Mom. Lots of pent up frustration. Dad vs. Mr. Wood-Dad killed Mr. Wood's mom who was the Slayer at the time. Fun, huh? Name: Nikki Wood. Where "Nikki's boy" comes from. Also turns out Mr. Wood and Dad did duke it out! The First had a way to make Dad savage vamp monster thing, and Principal Wood convinced Uncle Giles to let him kill Dad. Also now seeing Uncle Giles in whole new light. Obviously though, Dad won. He let Wood live. What a sweetie. Mom and Dad "excursions"-Turns out Dad doesn't suck after all! He can't help all his weirdness, he's a vampire! And when he and Mom go out, their demon-fighting which would explain the bruises and cuts. Yay for Dad! I gave him a big hug when I found this out. He was happy. Dad knowing about guys-Using his vampire skills, Dad can-prepare for ick factor-smell guy on me. How gross is that? Dad's car windows-He can drive without worrying about burning in sunlight! Dad lives in basement-Above substituting "live" for "drive" Youth thing-Why Dad, Uncle Angel, and Aunt Dru for that matter, look so goddamn young! They don't get older! Aunt Dru as a whole-Uncle Angel murdered her entire family. Yeah, that could make a person a little zany. And that dress she was wearing too. Uncle Giles' books-A guy who knew about demons and stuff for a living should have a rather extensive library of demon and stuff books. Why everyone in the whole freakin' town knows Mom-she saved them at one point or another. Barbie-fying success-Uncle Angel couldn't see that his hair was pink because he doesn't have a reflection! But that also leads to…Jenny's List of Things That Make Less Sense Than Before
1. How does Uncle Angel gel/Dad bleach his hair without a reflection?
2. Mom died? Why does nobody tell me these things?
3. Why does Mom work in a high school if she battles evil?
4. How did Aunt Willow become a witch in boring old evil Sunnydale?
5. Why is Uncle Xander part of the "Scoobies" if he doesn't have any power?
6. Why does Anya hang over Uncle Xander? She's supposed to hate men.
7. THE BIG ONE: Where did I come from? Ham Fact: Vamps can't have children.
As you can see, there is lots of things I have to wonder about. Though I am happy I have some answers. And that my family isn't insane, just a collection of supernatural beings. With the exception of Aunt Dru for the insane part. But everything is fairly peachy. Only problem is how to not tell anybody. Because I have been ordered not to tell anyone about anything. Also there's the big gross thing that about half of my family drinks blood out of mugs. Maybe you wonder why I just believe all this. Well, there are several reasons.
Reasons to Believe
I knew strange stuff happens in this town. Now I really know. I've seen waaaay too many unexplained deaths at school not to wonder if there's something supernatural going on. The whole thing is way to crazy to be made up. Truth is stranger than fiction. It's nice to have an explanation that covers up everything weird going on in your life. (Hey nasty kids in 3rd grade, my dad didn't come to the father-child pancake breakfast cause he would be more fried than the pancakes! And he can kick all your dads' asses! So there!)I'm obviously having no trouble adjusting. My life is cool now! I'm not a totally directionless freshman loser! I'm the product of a family of SUPERHEROES!!!!!