Chapter Nineteen: College Dreams
A/N: I absolutely LOVE this chapter! I hope you guys do too. I've been waiting forever to write this! I'm so excited!! ^_^ OMG I got so many reviews for the last chapter! I think this is probably my most famous story, or maybe Romeo and Juliet is. But whatever... keep the reviews coming! I love the suggestions and help every now and then!
Ahhh, I'm so excited! My birthday is in one and a half weeks... February 19th. I'm finally, finally going to be twelve! Yes! ^_~
Oh, and from now on, the chapters aren't going to be yearly. The next chapter is over a lapse of time, kind of flashbacky, then after that is, like, three years later, then after that is like... four years, then six months, then like twenty years... yup... I'll tell you how would they are or whatever, though. Gosh, there are only 5 more chapters left, not including this one. I didn't think I'd write this fast! ^_^
Btw, in class, we're doing our autobiographies. It's really hard, but it's due in May. But if anyone has done this project before, please give me suggestions on how to get started because I am so confused. We have to write a chapter on every year of our life... hey, that's a lot like this story!! ~_~
***
Gordo's POV
After Lizzie and I got together again, it was time for our relationship to take a test.
Long-distance.
We knew for a fact that we couldn't possibly go to the same college, but we kind of wished we could. I mean, I applied to the big colleges, Harvard, Oxford, Stanford... basically all the Ivy League schools and other high rated ones. And Lizzie... she was trying as hard as she could to get into Hillridge University. We had to make a big choice, well, it's more like *I* had to make a big choice. It was either one of those schools, or just go to HU with Lizzie.
I knew she wanted me to stay. I wanted me to stay. But these schools were impossible to get into, and I was getting a full scholarship! I had no idea what to do, because I was almost sure that Lizzie and I would drift apart if we went to different colleges. But I couldn't pass this up. I didn't know what to do.
So I jumped for the easiest solution- marriage.
***
"Ugh!" Lizzie groaned. "University of California turned me down."
I smiled at her. "It's okay. You don't want to go there, trust me."
"Why, have you heard something?"
"No." I shrugged. "I just don't want you to go."
She looked at me sternly. "Ha-ha. That's not even funny, you know."
I chuckled. "How come you've gotten all your rejections and acceptions to all these colleges, and I've only gotten one?"
"Because I don't apply for ones halfway across the world."
I grinned at her.
Ever since Lizzie and I had gotten back together, we had a real relationship. Before, we thought the whole point of dating was making out. But it's not. You have to care about the other person, sympathize them, help them, treat them like you would treat the most important person in the world. It was funny how everyone else figured this out before us, but I guess a relationship can't always be perfect.
Before, kissing Lizzie was second nature. But now, we rarely ever kissed, and when we did, it felt like our first kiss all over. It was like eating chocolate all the time. You start to get sick of it, but if you have it occasionally, it somehow tastes better. And our relationship wasn't just, you know, two teens dating, but different. Like a husband-wife deal... without the wedding. We understood each other. We fought, but always got together.
My life was beginning to restore itself to perfect again.
Too bad I only could enjoy it for a few months.
"I hope Oxford turns you down." Lizzie said, tearing open another envelope. "And all those other big-shot colleges."
I looked at her. "*Lizzie*."
"Kidding." She giggled. "And anyway, if you were to get into an Ivy League school, there would be no way to stop you from going." She read the letter inside and grinned. "Ooh, I can go to HU!"
"HU...? Don't you think you can get into something better?" I asked, leaning back on the couch.
"Like what? Yale?" She rolled her eyes in sarcasm. "I'm not as smart as you think I am, Gordo." She reached for another envelope.
"Hey, want to go get an ice cream later?"
She shook her head. "I have to be at the elementary school today, remember? I'm helping Miranda out with Wonderful Weekdays for the kids. And besides, I'm flat-broke."
"Well, so am I, but-"
"Oh, my god!" Lizzie exclaimed suddenly. "This letter isn't for me, it's for you! It's from... Harvard."
I smiled. "I know. I brought it here. I was thinking we could open it together?"
Her eyes lit up. "Okay."
I picked up the envelope and gulped. I didn't know what to wish for. If I got admission, I'd have to leave Lizzie. And if I didn't... then everything I had ever worked for wouldn't have paid off. It was a lose-lose situation. I grumbled. Nothing was fair in life.
I ripped it open slowly, Lizzie peering closely. I slipped out the piece of paper and started reading.
"Dear Mr. Gordon... blah, blah, blah... we are thrilled to announce that you have been accepted to attend our college. We are impressed by your academic results and want to interview you for a full scholarship-"
Lizzie's jaw dropped open. "You made it!" She exclaimed. "YOU MADE IT!" I smiled shyly. "Yeah."
"YOU'RE GOING TO HARVARD!" She screamed enthusiastically. "OH MY GOD! You have any idea how lucky you are?"
"Well, it's not luck..."
She sprinted to the nearest telephone and dialed Miranda's number. "GORDO GOT INTO HARVARD!" She yelled, then slammed the phone down. "This calls for a celebration."
I shrugged. Yeah, I was excited and all, but what was the big deal? And she shouldn't even be happy. If I got into Harvard, I had to leave her.
"Lizzie." I said calmly. "I might not even go."
Her eyes bulged, and she put her hands on her hips. "WHAT?" She exclaimed. "NOT GO!? Gordo, this is the best thing ever! A full scholarship to the best college in the world? I mean, are you crazy?"
"I can't leave you." I whispered.
Her hand flew to her mouth. "Oh my god... if you go..." She sat down next to me slowly, shocked.
I nodded slowly. "I'll have to leave you."
***
Lizzie's POV
It was a week later, and Gordo still hadn't made up his mind. I had just given in to Hillridge University. College started in less than a month, and everyone was pressuring Gordo to make a decision.
I didn't. I wanted him to stay, I mean, of *course*. But I couldn't be the reason he didn't go to Harvard, one of the best colleges in the world. That was plain stupid. I had told him to pick whichever college he wanted. I knew he wanted to go to Harvard, but he refused to let it show. But I could tell.
"Gordo!" I exclaimed one day on a hamburger-date we were on. "You're spacing out again!"
He blinked. "Huh?" He said, looking back at me.
I rolled my eyes. "What were we talking about?" I asked him, knowing he would give me the wrong answer.
"Um... stuff..."
I smiled. "Dreaming about Harvard again?" I said knowingly.
He raised his eyebrows. "I don't want to go." He crossed his arms matter-of- factly. "Therefore, why would I want to go?"
"You're not a very good liar, Gordo."
He sighed. "Okay... so I want to go. But I can't." He said. "Simple as that."
"Am I the reason why you can't?" I asked softly, although I knew the answer.
"Don't blame this on yourself."
I made a face.
How could I *not* blame it on myself? It was all my fault. Gordo would be able to go to a top-notch college without any regret if it weren't for me. But no, he just had to be so humble and kind enough as to give up all his hopes and dreams to spend his college years alongside me. How could I not feel guilty?
Ever since Gordo had been in the ninth grade, he had jabbered his life plan to me endlessly. First, he would get a law degree from some wonderful college, then he would find another college that specialized in filmmaking, and then he would work his way to Hollywood, and become a director. And then I had to come along and squash it all. Why couldn't have I been smart as Gordo? Then maybe I would've gotten into Harvard, too.
I sighed. "Gordo, you're going."
This was the most unselfish thing I had done in years. I really cared for Gordo, and I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. But if you really, truly cared for someone, you'd do anything to make them happy, and all the selfishness God included in your personality magically disappears. It's all about them now.
But it wasn't helping. I was thinking about what's best for him, while he was thinking about what was best for me. I knew Gordo had an urge to take care of me, be around me all the time, and I loved it. But I think I could live without him, as long as we called and emailed and all that. As long as he was happy.
"Oh no I'm not!" He said.
"It's practically all free!" I exclaimed. "A full scholarship to Harvard! I mean, seriously. Anyone with half a mind knows that. Why on Earth would you want to stay here? To take care of me? Well, listen, Gordo, I can do fine on my own. And we can still keep in touch-"
He looked puzzled. "Does that mean you *want* to suffer from the effects of a long-distance relationship?"
"I'm willing to give up having you here in Hillridge, if only you'd go." I said. "Don't you think we're strong enough to handle a long-distance relationship? I mean, Gordo, I've known you since birth. I've been dating you since the ninth grade. And still you don't believe our relationship is tough enough to go through long-distance?"
"Well, Lizzie, it's not that easy giving you up." He said, taking a bite of his sandwich. "Anyway, there's got to be an easier way to solve this."
I shrugged, and we munched on our food in silence until Gordo's eyes lit up.
"I have the greatest idea!" He exclaimed, his hair bouncing up and down.
I raised my eyebrows.
"No, really." He grinned. "Okay, meet me at Sunny's Point tomorrow at 5pm sharp. Be there. Okay?"
I nodded, but was a little hesitant.
What was going on here?
***
Gordo's POV
I was pacing back an forth at Sunny's Point the next day at 5:01 pm. Should I really do this? Was it entirely necessary? Why was Lizzie late? One minute and twenty-six seconds, no, twenty-seven...
I sat down on a large rock, leaned back, and closed my eyes.
Man, oh man, this was going to be hard. But just to think of Lizzie again, her blonde hair flowing down her shoulders, her smile, her giggle... it made me drown. I just had to think of her, just for a split second, and all my worries vanished. Just one touch of her hand and felt paralyzed, and my tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth, and my knees started knocking. And kissing her, well, that was a different story. I didn't feel scared. I felt free. No worries, no cares, just me and her in an unforgettable trance.
" I love you." I whispered lightly.
"I love you too, Gordo." I heard giggling. "So why am I here?"
My eyes flew open. It was Lizzie.
"Oh, uh... nothing." I said, scooting over on the rock so she could sit next to me. "I just wanted to... chill."
She raised her left eyebrow. "Oh, come on. I think I know you well enough to know that it's never nothing, and you don't just invite places to 'chill', so to speak."
How does she always know?
"Well..." I started. "It's like this.... You know how I don't want to go to Harvard because I don't want to live without you, and *other* reasons, right?" I said stressing the world 'other'.
She nodded, motioning for me to go on.
"And we thought there was no cure for this, except that I could go to HU, which I seriously considered."
"Consider*ed*?" She asked. "As in, past tense?"
"Well, I figured that I really don't want to go to HU, especially when I'm getting a full scholarship to Harvard. My parents strongly recommend I go to Harvard, but they're letting me make my own choice. But if I go, then I have to leave you behind. But then I thought, 'What if Lizzie got into Harvard?'"
Before she could stutter, I went on.
"And you're thinking, 'but I got turned down to Harvard. How can I go?' But there is a way out. And after a lot of thinking and a lot of planning and a lot of more thinking..." I got down on my knee and held out a diamond ring.
"Lizzie, will you marry me?"
***
Lizzie's POV
My eyes bulged.
I didn't think. I ran. I ran down the hill and ran to my car and got in my car and drove away. Away and away, the away-est I could get from Gordo. There was no time for thinking, no time for tears. I just ran and got away.
And when I was one fourth of the way home, I started to think. I started to cry.
*Marry* him?
For God' s sake, we had just recently graduated from high school. That wasn't a time to get married. We needed to go to college, pick our careers... there was so much to do before marriage.
And Gordo was supposed to be the responsible one. The reasonable one. The one that made all the right decisions. And this? This was just plain stupid. I mean, he wanted to marry me? This early? Just so we didn't have to go through long-distance? How much dumber could you possibly get?
Anyone could ask a girl to marry him. But it takes a real man with a real brain to ask at the right time. And all my life, I thought Gordo was a real man with a real brain... but how could he do something as foolish as this? Did he actually think I was going to say yes?
This wouldn't solve any problems. It would create them.
I wiped my tears away.
I wondered if his parents knew about this. I wondered if Miranda knew about this. I wondered if he knew how stupid he was being, how many people he was letting down. He was supposed to go to Harvard. He was supposed to be smart. But no, to him I was only a little nobody, a nobody who no one cared about, or even considered to think about. I was just Lizzie nobody, blonde hair, hazel eyes, and an upside-down smile.
I parked my car in the parking lot of the park and ran to a picnic table near the fountain Lucy Carmichael has kissed Gordo. It was where I did all my best thinking. I was as far away from that egocentric, foolish, stupid idiot as I could possibly get. I sat down and started to sob.
Marriage seemed so distant, from when I was just merely five or six, and even now. Marriage seemed like something that would happen in the future. And since it was in the future, I had always been excited. How magical it would be the first time I got asked to be married! It was more like a fairy tale. And after this... after this it didn't seem all that magical anymore. He had shattered every girl's dream.
I shivered although it was nowhere near cold, and whimpered as I closed my eyes and rested my head on the table.
No one's perfect.
I just had thought Gordo was.
***
Gordo's POV
I knocked noisily on the door of the McGuire's, but Lizzie wasn't there.
Oh, why did I have to go and ask her to marry me today? Why not wait a year or two... a dozen? Why had I done this?
'Because of Harvard.' A little voice in my head replied. 'You were a selfish maniac who wanted both your girlfriend and the best college in the world, so you found the easy way out.'
I shook my head as I slowly head back down the driveway. I*had* been self- centered. I hadn't cared about Lizzie at all, and that's not what a good boyfriend did. But forget good boyfriend. I had permanently wrecked our relationship. Or to say the least, done temporary damage.
Where could she be? I had checked the Digital Bean, our childhood playground, her house, Miranda's house, the ice cream place, and still no Lizzie. Where else could-
Then it clicked.
The new park.
It didn't take me long to get there... I think that for the first time in my life, I actually speeded. I had to catch her before she was gone, but knowing my instincts, she was still there, sobbing away, when I arrived.
"I'm sorry, Lizzie." I said, sitting down next to her. "I didn't mean that."
"Then was it some type of joke?" She asked nastily, scooting further away and not even stealing a glance of me. "Because I didn't find it the least bit funny."
"No!" I exclaimed. "That was a real ring." I reached into my pocket and showed her the five diamond gold band once again.
"And what about the feelings, Gordo? Were the feelings real?" She poked her finger into a hole in the wood of the picnic table, still refusing to look at me.
"No.. yes... no." I stumbled, trying to find the right words. "No."
She raised her eyebrows. "Oh, so you thought it was funny."
"No, I thought it was the only solution to this problem."
"Is it?"
I frowned. "No... there are millions of other ways... but it doesn't matter. I've decided that I'm not going."
Her eyes bulged. "And you're doing this because..."
"...of you." I paused to think a minute. "No, wait. That came out wrong. Lizzie, just hear me out, okay? Don't think you're guilty. It's not your fault I'm not going to Harvard. It's just that when it comes down to making a choice, I chose you. You have nothing to do with it. It was strictly my choice."
"But Gordo, you have to go." Lizzie whispered. "I don't care if we break up; I just want you to have the best life possible."
I looked down at my shoes. That always seemed like a perfect place to look when you had to avoid someone's eyes. "Do you remember when I went to the ninth grade before you and Miranda did?"
She smiled, recalling the memory. "Yeah."
"Did you like it when I was gone?"
"No."
"Neither did I."
"I know."
"Then what makes you think I'll be able to live without you, and vice versa?" I asked. "If we couldn't handle different grades, how are we going to handle different states?"
"We're older now, Gordo. We're more mature. I know we can handle it. It's nothing." She bit her lip and put her head on my shoulder. "You're going, no matter what, one hundred percent."
I smiled and stroked her hair. "You think that's a good idea?"
"I know it is."
"So I'm going?"
She grinned. "If you aren't, then I'm going to kill you."
A/N: You like? Dislike? Please... I feel like long reviews at the moment. Please submit a long one, please! This chapter was long, and it took a while to write... but the next chapter is going to be short. Sorry, but it is. And it'll be pretty mopey, too. But anyway... keep checking back for the new chappie!
A/N: I absolutely LOVE this chapter! I hope you guys do too. I've been waiting forever to write this! I'm so excited!! ^_^ OMG I got so many reviews for the last chapter! I think this is probably my most famous story, or maybe Romeo and Juliet is. But whatever... keep the reviews coming! I love the suggestions and help every now and then!
Ahhh, I'm so excited! My birthday is in one and a half weeks... February 19th. I'm finally, finally going to be twelve! Yes! ^_~
Oh, and from now on, the chapters aren't going to be yearly. The next chapter is over a lapse of time, kind of flashbacky, then after that is, like, three years later, then after that is like... four years, then six months, then like twenty years... yup... I'll tell you how would they are or whatever, though. Gosh, there are only 5 more chapters left, not including this one. I didn't think I'd write this fast! ^_^
Btw, in class, we're doing our autobiographies. It's really hard, but it's due in May. But if anyone has done this project before, please give me suggestions on how to get started because I am so confused. We have to write a chapter on every year of our life... hey, that's a lot like this story!! ~_~
***
Gordo's POV
After Lizzie and I got together again, it was time for our relationship to take a test.
Long-distance.
We knew for a fact that we couldn't possibly go to the same college, but we kind of wished we could. I mean, I applied to the big colleges, Harvard, Oxford, Stanford... basically all the Ivy League schools and other high rated ones. And Lizzie... she was trying as hard as she could to get into Hillridge University. We had to make a big choice, well, it's more like *I* had to make a big choice. It was either one of those schools, or just go to HU with Lizzie.
I knew she wanted me to stay. I wanted me to stay. But these schools were impossible to get into, and I was getting a full scholarship! I had no idea what to do, because I was almost sure that Lizzie and I would drift apart if we went to different colleges. But I couldn't pass this up. I didn't know what to do.
So I jumped for the easiest solution- marriage.
***
"Ugh!" Lizzie groaned. "University of California turned me down."
I smiled at her. "It's okay. You don't want to go there, trust me."
"Why, have you heard something?"
"No." I shrugged. "I just don't want you to go."
She looked at me sternly. "Ha-ha. That's not even funny, you know."
I chuckled. "How come you've gotten all your rejections and acceptions to all these colleges, and I've only gotten one?"
"Because I don't apply for ones halfway across the world."
I grinned at her.
Ever since Lizzie and I had gotten back together, we had a real relationship. Before, we thought the whole point of dating was making out. But it's not. You have to care about the other person, sympathize them, help them, treat them like you would treat the most important person in the world. It was funny how everyone else figured this out before us, but I guess a relationship can't always be perfect.
Before, kissing Lizzie was second nature. But now, we rarely ever kissed, and when we did, it felt like our first kiss all over. It was like eating chocolate all the time. You start to get sick of it, but if you have it occasionally, it somehow tastes better. And our relationship wasn't just, you know, two teens dating, but different. Like a husband-wife deal... without the wedding. We understood each other. We fought, but always got together.
My life was beginning to restore itself to perfect again.
Too bad I only could enjoy it for a few months.
"I hope Oxford turns you down." Lizzie said, tearing open another envelope. "And all those other big-shot colleges."
I looked at her. "*Lizzie*."
"Kidding." She giggled. "And anyway, if you were to get into an Ivy League school, there would be no way to stop you from going." She read the letter inside and grinned. "Ooh, I can go to HU!"
"HU...? Don't you think you can get into something better?" I asked, leaning back on the couch.
"Like what? Yale?" She rolled her eyes in sarcasm. "I'm not as smart as you think I am, Gordo." She reached for another envelope.
"Hey, want to go get an ice cream later?"
She shook her head. "I have to be at the elementary school today, remember? I'm helping Miranda out with Wonderful Weekdays for the kids. And besides, I'm flat-broke."
"Well, so am I, but-"
"Oh, my god!" Lizzie exclaimed suddenly. "This letter isn't for me, it's for you! It's from... Harvard."
I smiled. "I know. I brought it here. I was thinking we could open it together?"
Her eyes lit up. "Okay."
I picked up the envelope and gulped. I didn't know what to wish for. If I got admission, I'd have to leave Lizzie. And if I didn't... then everything I had ever worked for wouldn't have paid off. It was a lose-lose situation. I grumbled. Nothing was fair in life.
I ripped it open slowly, Lizzie peering closely. I slipped out the piece of paper and started reading.
"Dear Mr. Gordon... blah, blah, blah... we are thrilled to announce that you have been accepted to attend our college. We are impressed by your academic results and want to interview you for a full scholarship-"
Lizzie's jaw dropped open. "You made it!" She exclaimed. "YOU MADE IT!" I smiled shyly. "Yeah."
"YOU'RE GOING TO HARVARD!" She screamed enthusiastically. "OH MY GOD! You have any idea how lucky you are?"
"Well, it's not luck..."
She sprinted to the nearest telephone and dialed Miranda's number. "GORDO GOT INTO HARVARD!" She yelled, then slammed the phone down. "This calls for a celebration."
I shrugged. Yeah, I was excited and all, but what was the big deal? And she shouldn't even be happy. If I got into Harvard, I had to leave her.
"Lizzie." I said calmly. "I might not even go."
Her eyes bulged, and she put her hands on her hips. "WHAT?" She exclaimed. "NOT GO!? Gordo, this is the best thing ever! A full scholarship to the best college in the world? I mean, are you crazy?"
"I can't leave you." I whispered.
Her hand flew to her mouth. "Oh my god... if you go..." She sat down next to me slowly, shocked.
I nodded slowly. "I'll have to leave you."
***
Lizzie's POV
It was a week later, and Gordo still hadn't made up his mind. I had just given in to Hillridge University. College started in less than a month, and everyone was pressuring Gordo to make a decision.
I didn't. I wanted him to stay, I mean, of *course*. But I couldn't be the reason he didn't go to Harvard, one of the best colleges in the world. That was plain stupid. I had told him to pick whichever college he wanted. I knew he wanted to go to Harvard, but he refused to let it show. But I could tell.
"Gordo!" I exclaimed one day on a hamburger-date we were on. "You're spacing out again!"
He blinked. "Huh?" He said, looking back at me.
I rolled my eyes. "What were we talking about?" I asked him, knowing he would give me the wrong answer.
"Um... stuff..."
I smiled. "Dreaming about Harvard again?" I said knowingly.
He raised his eyebrows. "I don't want to go." He crossed his arms matter-of- factly. "Therefore, why would I want to go?"
"You're not a very good liar, Gordo."
He sighed. "Okay... so I want to go. But I can't." He said. "Simple as that."
"Am I the reason why you can't?" I asked softly, although I knew the answer.
"Don't blame this on yourself."
I made a face.
How could I *not* blame it on myself? It was all my fault. Gordo would be able to go to a top-notch college without any regret if it weren't for me. But no, he just had to be so humble and kind enough as to give up all his hopes and dreams to spend his college years alongside me. How could I not feel guilty?
Ever since Gordo had been in the ninth grade, he had jabbered his life plan to me endlessly. First, he would get a law degree from some wonderful college, then he would find another college that specialized in filmmaking, and then he would work his way to Hollywood, and become a director. And then I had to come along and squash it all. Why couldn't have I been smart as Gordo? Then maybe I would've gotten into Harvard, too.
I sighed. "Gordo, you're going."
This was the most unselfish thing I had done in years. I really cared for Gordo, and I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. But if you really, truly cared for someone, you'd do anything to make them happy, and all the selfishness God included in your personality magically disappears. It's all about them now.
But it wasn't helping. I was thinking about what's best for him, while he was thinking about what was best for me. I knew Gordo had an urge to take care of me, be around me all the time, and I loved it. But I think I could live without him, as long as we called and emailed and all that. As long as he was happy.
"Oh no I'm not!" He said.
"It's practically all free!" I exclaimed. "A full scholarship to Harvard! I mean, seriously. Anyone with half a mind knows that. Why on Earth would you want to stay here? To take care of me? Well, listen, Gordo, I can do fine on my own. And we can still keep in touch-"
He looked puzzled. "Does that mean you *want* to suffer from the effects of a long-distance relationship?"
"I'm willing to give up having you here in Hillridge, if only you'd go." I said. "Don't you think we're strong enough to handle a long-distance relationship? I mean, Gordo, I've known you since birth. I've been dating you since the ninth grade. And still you don't believe our relationship is tough enough to go through long-distance?"
"Well, Lizzie, it's not that easy giving you up." He said, taking a bite of his sandwich. "Anyway, there's got to be an easier way to solve this."
I shrugged, and we munched on our food in silence until Gordo's eyes lit up.
"I have the greatest idea!" He exclaimed, his hair bouncing up and down.
I raised my eyebrows.
"No, really." He grinned. "Okay, meet me at Sunny's Point tomorrow at 5pm sharp. Be there. Okay?"
I nodded, but was a little hesitant.
What was going on here?
***
Gordo's POV
I was pacing back an forth at Sunny's Point the next day at 5:01 pm. Should I really do this? Was it entirely necessary? Why was Lizzie late? One minute and twenty-six seconds, no, twenty-seven...
I sat down on a large rock, leaned back, and closed my eyes.
Man, oh man, this was going to be hard. But just to think of Lizzie again, her blonde hair flowing down her shoulders, her smile, her giggle... it made me drown. I just had to think of her, just for a split second, and all my worries vanished. Just one touch of her hand and felt paralyzed, and my tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth, and my knees started knocking. And kissing her, well, that was a different story. I didn't feel scared. I felt free. No worries, no cares, just me and her in an unforgettable trance.
" I love you." I whispered lightly.
"I love you too, Gordo." I heard giggling. "So why am I here?"
My eyes flew open. It was Lizzie.
"Oh, uh... nothing." I said, scooting over on the rock so she could sit next to me. "I just wanted to... chill."
She raised her left eyebrow. "Oh, come on. I think I know you well enough to know that it's never nothing, and you don't just invite places to 'chill', so to speak."
How does she always know?
"Well..." I started. "It's like this.... You know how I don't want to go to Harvard because I don't want to live without you, and *other* reasons, right?" I said stressing the world 'other'.
She nodded, motioning for me to go on.
"And we thought there was no cure for this, except that I could go to HU, which I seriously considered."
"Consider*ed*?" She asked. "As in, past tense?"
"Well, I figured that I really don't want to go to HU, especially when I'm getting a full scholarship to Harvard. My parents strongly recommend I go to Harvard, but they're letting me make my own choice. But if I go, then I have to leave you behind. But then I thought, 'What if Lizzie got into Harvard?'"
Before she could stutter, I went on.
"And you're thinking, 'but I got turned down to Harvard. How can I go?' But there is a way out. And after a lot of thinking and a lot of planning and a lot of more thinking..." I got down on my knee and held out a diamond ring.
"Lizzie, will you marry me?"
***
Lizzie's POV
My eyes bulged.
I didn't think. I ran. I ran down the hill and ran to my car and got in my car and drove away. Away and away, the away-est I could get from Gordo. There was no time for thinking, no time for tears. I just ran and got away.
And when I was one fourth of the way home, I started to think. I started to cry.
*Marry* him?
For God' s sake, we had just recently graduated from high school. That wasn't a time to get married. We needed to go to college, pick our careers... there was so much to do before marriage.
And Gordo was supposed to be the responsible one. The reasonable one. The one that made all the right decisions. And this? This was just plain stupid. I mean, he wanted to marry me? This early? Just so we didn't have to go through long-distance? How much dumber could you possibly get?
Anyone could ask a girl to marry him. But it takes a real man with a real brain to ask at the right time. And all my life, I thought Gordo was a real man with a real brain... but how could he do something as foolish as this? Did he actually think I was going to say yes?
This wouldn't solve any problems. It would create them.
I wiped my tears away.
I wondered if his parents knew about this. I wondered if Miranda knew about this. I wondered if he knew how stupid he was being, how many people he was letting down. He was supposed to go to Harvard. He was supposed to be smart. But no, to him I was only a little nobody, a nobody who no one cared about, or even considered to think about. I was just Lizzie nobody, blonde hair, hazel eyes, and an upside-down smile.
I parked my car in the parking lot of the park and ran to a picnic table near the fountain Lucy Carmichael has kissed Gordo. It was where I did all my best thinking. I was as far away from that egocentric, foolish, stupid idiot as I could possibly get. I sat down and started to sob.
Marriage seemed so distant, from when I was just merely five or six, and even now. Marriage seemed like something that would happen in the future. And since it was in the future, I had always been excited. How magical it would be the first time I got asked to be married! It was more like a fairy tale. And after this... after this it didn't seem all that magical anymore. He had shattered every girl's dream.
I shivered although it was nowhere near cold, and whimpered as I closed my eyes and rested my head on the table.
No one's perfect.
I just had thought Gordo was.
***
Gordo's POV
I knocked noisily on the door of the McGuire's, but Lizzie wasn't there.
Oh, why did I have to go and ask her to marry me today? Why not wait a year or two... a dozen? Why had I done this?
'Because of Harvard.' A little voice in my head replied. 'You were a selfish maniac who wanted both your girlfriend and the best college in the world, so you found the easy way out.'
I shook my head as I slowly head back down the driveway. I*had* been self- centered. I hadn't cared about Lizzie at all, and that's not what a good boyfriend did. But forget good boyfriend. I had permanently wrecked our relationship. Or to say the least, done temporary damage.
Where could she be? I had checked the Digital Bean, our childhood playground, her house, Miranda's house, the ice cream place, and still no Lizzie. Where else could-
Then it clicked.
The new park.
It didn't take me long to get there... I think that for the first time in my life, I actually speeded. I had to catch her before she was gone, but knowing my instincts, she was still there, sobbing away, when I arrived.
"I'm sorry, Lizzie." I said, sitting down next to her. "I didn't mean that."
"Then was it some type of joke?" She asked nastily, scooting further away and not even stealing a glance of me. "Because I didn't find it the least bit funny."
"No!" I exclaimed. "That was a real ring." I reached into my pocket and showed her the five diamond gold band once again.
"And what about the feelings, Gordo? Were the feelings real?" She poked her finger into a hole in the wood of the picnic table, still refusing to look at me.
"No.. yes... no." I stumbled, trying to find the right words. "No."
She raised her eyebrows. "Oh, so you thought it was funny."
"No, I thought it was the only solution to this problem."
"Is it?"
I frowned. "No... there are millions of other ways... but it doesn't matter. I've decided that I'm not going."
Her eyes bulged. "And you're doing this because..."
"...of you." I paused to think a minute. "No, wait. That came out wrong. Lizzie, just hear me out, okay? Don't think you're guilty. It's not your fault I'm not going to Harvard. It's just that when it comes down to making a choice, I chose you. You have nothing to do with it. It was strictly my choice."
"But Gordo, you have to go." Lizzie whispered. "I don't care if we break up; I just want you to have the best life possible."
I looked down at my shoes. That always seemed like a perfect place to look when you had to avoid someone's eyes. "Do you remember when I went to the ninth grade before you and Miranda did?"
She smiled, recalling the memory. "Yeah."
"Did you like it when I was gone?"
"No."
"Neither did I."
"I know."
"Then what makes you think I'll be able to live without you, and vice versa?" I asked. "If we couldn't handle different grades, how are we going to handle different states?"
"We're older now, Gordo. We're more mature. I know we can handle it. It's nothing." She bit her lip and put her head on my shoulder. "You're going, no matter what, one hundred percent."
I smiled and stroked her hair. "You think that's a good idea?"
"I know it is."
"So I'm going?"
She grinned. "If you aren't, then I'm going to kill you."
A/N: You like? Dislike? Please... I feel like long reviews at the moment. Please submit a long one, please! This chapter was long, and it took a while to write... but the next chapter is going to be short. Sorry, but it is. And it'll be pretty mopey, too. But anyway... keep checking back for the new chappie!