All Good Things
Part 8: Learning To Live Again
By KyiziThis part is set just before Ginny's last year and continues from part 1
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Disclaimer: These wonderful characters do not belong to me, they are the property of J.K. Rowling, I'm only playing with them for a while, the only thing that's mine is this story.
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Harry/Ginny (hints of Ron/Hermione)
Distribution: Ask and I'll likely say yes, but please do ask.
Spoilers: PS, CoS, PoA, GoF
Feedback: is a precious gift. It's nice to give ;)
E-mail: kyizihotmail.com
Notes 1: Okay, people have been asking me about this, begging me to tell them that Ginny isn't really dead. All I have to say is this. Has anyone read chapter one? ;)
Notes 2: Okay, so it's been a while, I'm sorry, but Kyizi lost her ability to write for a while there. Am back and I hope this meets those lovely expectations you all have. This is the final chapter in the actual storyline. There will, however, be an epilogue and two outtakes (The Trio's graduation and a Marauder chapter).
Also, Heliona has insisted that it be noticed that she did, in fact, correctly guess the Lord of the Rings reference in chapter six. She just happened to spot around three or four things that could have been the correct one. I apologise and bow down to her wondrous Tolkien-ness roll eyes ;)
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Ginny woke with a start; her heart pounding as she the last vestiges of her dream taunted her memory. She remembered what it felt like to be hit with the killing curse, the fact that Harry had hit her with a shielding at the same time had made her feel as though she were being crushed between two walls. The shielding had attached itself around her, but there was no known way to stop The Killing Curse. That Harry had been working on a shield for it came as no surprise to her in those last moments, but she had not expected it to work. It hadn't worked. At least, it had not worked in the way that Harry had intended it to. She had still died, the force of the shield and the curse hitting her simultaneously and causing her heart to stop.
She still remembered what it felt like to die. She knew that everyone thought she had forgotten it, or at least forgotten it to the extent that it did not bother her. They were wrong and only Harry knew that. She still remembered it all with a painful clarity. She remembered the noises as her hearing gave way to muffled noises and her eyes dimmed as her heart stopped. It hadn't been as sudden as everyone had thought, or if it had, time had slowed for her. She had watched the look on Harry's face as it blurred to infinity, hoping that he had see in her eyes the love and forgiveness.
She had always known that Harry would blame himself when she died. The fact that he had been there and had been unable to do anything was worse for him and she had known that. Even as her world was ending around her she had still known that her last breath would have to be for him. She hadn't wanted it any other way. Part of her hated that her world was so wrapped up in another person that he was the focus of everything for her, but the rest of her knew that she was lucky. In her short life, she had known more love, a deeper love than some people would ever possibly hope to understand.
She may have been only sixteen years old, but it was real and, in that respect at least, she was older than many people could hope to be because she had experienced something so real, so pure and so deep that there was nothing else more profound for her to find. But in that wondrous feeling there the cruellest torment that time could ever steal from her, it took her away from him before she had the chance to make him feel that, to make him understand what he meant to her. Harry had experienced such a small amount of love in his life and she hated time for stealing the one more chance from him.
Ginny shuddered at the thought. Luckily fate had been on her side that day and, as she had gasped for breath, the feeling of Harry's lips on hers, the feeling of his clasped hands thumping on her chest, she had thanked whatever entity had been responsible for bringing her back to him. CPR. Three little letters that had no meaning in the Wizarding world had saved her life. Harry had saved her life. Again. It was her turn now.
Harry had had to watch as his Godfather had killed his parents again, throwing them before Voldemort and using the arithmancy they had worked into the crystal to remove the strength behind Voldemort's apparent invincibility. She had always known that Lily and James had used the crystal to store the magic that they had hoped would destroy Voldemort, but no one had suspected that that very power they were feeding the stone would be the key. Arithmancy had a power all of its own, just as the workings of a spell did, and the spell that Lily and James had been working on had been ingrained into the crystal they had stored it in. They crystal was the key and Harry's final spell would end it all. Harry's magic held a marker similar to his parents, something that was passed on from parent to child. When he had cast his final spell on Voldemort, he activated the magic his parents had left behind.
Her breath hitched as she thought of Sirius. He was first adult to really treat her as a grown up, he was the first adult, that was not family, that had captured her heart in such a way that he became a part of her, a part of her life. He meant the world to Harry and, in turn, he came to mean the world to her, not just because he was a part of Harry, but because he loved her and treated her like she meant something to him. Ginny would always have a part of her heart locked away just for Sirius.
She stepped out of her bed, knowing that it was futile to attempt getting back to sleep. She was awake and there was nothing she could do that would alter that fact. She often woke from nightmares of the past, remembering Sirius as he laughed with her and smiled at her, and nothing would force him from her mind and allow her to rest.
She dressed quickly, her mind drifting to Harry. He had handled the situation badly. Everyone had thought he had recovered well and were so happy that he seemed to have adjusted. They thought that he had accepted that Sirius did what he had to do and that everything was all right, because, with Wormtail in custody, his Godfather's name had been cleared and he was buried with honour and acceptance by the world at large. Ginny, however, knew differently.
Harry had allowed it to fester inside him. Nothing that she did drew him from his delusion that he was all right, nothing until that night three months later. Is had been Sirius' birthday and she had awoken from a deep sleep, just knowing that he needed her.
Their bond through the crystal had faded, but it had not gone away. She always had him in her mind; she always knew when he was near and what he was feeling. She liked that, she liked having a part of him inside her, a part that was just for her. After the battle, it had seemed like it was the time to let everyone know that they were involved, but Harry was scared and she never pushed. He was scared that, somehow, she would still be at risk and she had not wanted to force too many things at once. Not when she had to force something more from him. She had to break him.
Harry had built a shell around his heart, letting no one in, to an extent, not even her. She had tried her hardest and eventually, on that night when she had found him in the astronomy tower, trying to force Hedwig to deliver his birthday note to his Godfather, she had lashed out. She had screamed and cried, she had yelled at him that he wasn't the only one that was hurting, had yelled that he was making Sirius' sacrifice mean nothing if he refused to live, and then she had laid the final thing before him, she had yelled that he had known what was going to happen and that he did nothing to stop it. She had spoken the words that he had been thinking since the moment he had turned from her body, the body he had just brought back to life, to see Sirius lying dead on the floor behind him. He blamed himself.
He had broken before her. He had screamed in rage, forcing all his anger at her. He blamed himself for Sirius' death, because he had not had the strength to destroy the crystal himself, he had not had the strength to let his parents die at his hand and had, instead, forced Sirius to do it for him. He may not have cast the curse that ended Sirius' life, but he blamed himself as if he had.
When he had run out of anger and all that had been left was the grief as he fell to the ground on his knees, she had gathered him up into her arms and held onto him for all she was worth. They had both grieved that night, grieved for the loss of his parents and for Sirius and for all the innocence that they would never regain. They had come out scarred, but whole once more. They had broken apart, but rebuilt each other and all that was left was the love they shared but were too scared to admit to everyone else.
"Until now." Ginny looked at herself in the mirror, replacing the brush onto her worn down dresser and smiled shakily. "Today, Harry Potter, I am going to let the world know how much I love you."
She smiled and turned away from her reflection. She had seen enough in her life, however short it may have been, to know that love was precious and, all too often, fleeting. She would no longer make the mistake of hiding hers.
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She cleared her throat, for what seemed like the tenth time in the last hour, and continued to turn her food over on her plate. She couldn't eat and she was fed up of trying to ignore the little voice in her head that seemed to be yelling, 'coward!' and laughing at her. Telling the world seemed like such a good idea in theory, but admitting it to her family was proving to be rather more difficult than she had thought.
She glanced up at Harry. He looked ill. His face seemed to be greener than it ever had been before and he, too, had not touched his breakfast. What was more was the fact that he looked like a rabbit caught in a trap. He kept glancing sidelong at her brothers and, whenever her parents asked if he was all right, he looked as though he was about to keel over.
She couldn't help it, she'd had enough. She burst out laughing. He glared at her and she laughed harder, until finally a smirk made its way onto his face and soon he was laughing along with her. It took them a few minutes to calm down. She glanced at him and he nodded.
Harry cleared his throat. "Er…well…" he trailed off and Ron snorted.
"Good start, mate."
Harry rolled his eyes at his friend and cleared his throat again. "Ginny and I have something to tell you."
"You're buying an ant farm in the Himalayas?" George asked with a grin.
"She's leaving you for Hagrid?" Fred asked, astonished.
Ron laughed. "You're running off to the Serengeti with your pet monkey, Chico?"
Ginny groaned as realisation hit. Harry just looked confused. She stifled a giggle as she turned to her father and he winked at her. Harry didn't have a clue.
"So, Harry," her father began, "what is it you wanted to say?" He sounded so serious and overbearing that she had to hide her mouth with her napkin. Ginny glanced at her mother only to see the laughter in her eyes.
"Well, Sir, I…" Harry trailed off. "That is, I mean… well… GinnyandIareinlovenadwewantedtosaythatwe'resorrywedidn'ttellyouandcanwehaveyourblessing?"
There was a moment's silence before everyone started to laugh. Harry looked shocked, but, when he saw that she was laughing along, he dropped his fork and sat back in his chair with a resigned smile on his face. After the laughter died down, her mother reached out to place one hand over his and the other over hers.
"Of course you have our blessing, Harry. You're already one of the family."
"Thank you."
Ron chuckled and they turned to face him. "Oh, you should've seen your face, mate. Hermione's going to be so upset that she missed this."
"Don't worry," George said.
"We got it all recorded right here." Fred tapped his wand and winked at them. Harry groaned and dropped his head to the table, only narrowly missing his full plate.
"I don't know about you," he said to Ginny as he sat back up, ignoring his blush and the tittering of laughter around him. "But I'm famished."
She laughed and picked up her fork, suddenly finding that she was starving.
"Just out of curiosity," she said, swallowing a mouthful of sausage. "How long have you all known?"
Fred laughed. "Oh, ages."
"Yeah," Ron said with a grin. "Hermione figured it out not long after Harry and I had a little chat."
Harry blushed. "Yeah, about that-"
"'s all right." Ron interrupted, waving his fork. "I was angry, but happy for you. Hermione had to stop me from punching you, though."
"I'll remember to thank her."
"So what gave us away?" Ginny asked, unable to curb her curiosity.
Ron snorted. "What didn't?"
"Yeah," George said with a laugh, "and that argument you two had when you made her think you'd forgot Valentine's Day?" He whistled and shook his head. "You're a brave man, Harry Potter."
"Yeah." Fred winked. "I never thought I'd see the day when someone would purposefully incur Ginny's wrath."
"It was kinda sad, mate," Ron said with mock sincerity. "You guys are always gazing into each other's eyes, sighing when you think no one's looking, smiling secretly, disappearing at the same time." His eyes darkened. "I almost set after you with a few curses the first time I realised what you were up to."
"Ron!" Ginny felt her cheeks redden as she tried not to look at her parents.
"What stopped you?" Fred asked with a laugh and Ron blushed. "Ah. Hermione."
"Shut up."
"Well, before I hear any more details that I ever wanted to about my children," Ginny's father said, standing up. "I think I'll retire to my shed."
"And I best get started with the dishes."
Ginny smiled as her mother stood up, clearing some of the plates. She glanced around at her family, smiling as the twins continued to tease Ron about his girlfriend. She looked across the table at Harry and smiled when she realised he had been staring at her. He grinned back.
"I love you," he mouthed and Ginny's heart stopped for a moment. He had said it. Not in some romantic setting, not in the middle of a heartfelt speech but there, where it meant the most; surrounded by her family, in her home.
"I love you, too," she mouthed. She didn't think she had ever seen his eyes as alive as they looked at that precise moment. He looked alive, he looked happy, and he loved her.
"Hey," Ron said, suddenly sitting up straight. "They told us at home! Neville won the pool!"
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The air was chill and Ginny wrapped her light jacket tighter around her, rubbing at her arms for warmth. The arm Harry had around her shoulder squeezed her gently and she turned to smile at him before leaning against him.
They had been walking for about five minutes, Harry clutching his broomstick in his free hand, and Ginny felt more at peace than she had for a long time. Their relationship was out in the open and Harry was by her side. She wasn't quite sure how she would be able to let it all go when she went back to Hogwarts the following week.
There was only one thing left to nag at her heart. It had been too long since her whole family had been together. Her parents, she knew, were keeping on a brave face for them all, but Ginny knew they were worried, very worried, especially about Bill. Her eldest brother had last been seen, by members of her family, on the night after the battle. He was returning to Egypt, where an uprising of Death Eaters were terrorising the local people. What he had failed to tell everyone until that night was that he was worried for someone, someone special. Bill had been hiding his relationship with a young Egyptian woman called Cari in an attempt to keep her safe from the war. The Weasleys were notorious for their standpoint against Voldemort and Bill had not wanted to endanger Cari.
Bill had continued to keep in touch weekly, until one week there was no letter. One week had turned into two and two into three. By the time the first month had been over, her parents had been terrified that something was wrong. After another painful week of worrying, Cari had written to them. She had not seen him for over a month and she was also worried. Bill and a group of his friends had been after the last known group of Death Eaters in Egypt. No one had returned and no one had known what had happened. There was nothing left to do but wait.
What Ginny had failed to mention throughout it all was that she was more worried for Charlie. Her other brother had not passed through the war unscathed. His left arm was all but useless by his side, burnt through with an unrecognisable combination of curses, and he had a slight limp that he was unable, or unwilling, to disclose the cause of. He had been missing for around the same amount of time as Bill had, but, whilst it was assumed he was on one of his dragon hunts, Ginny was not so sure. For some reason she felt sure that her brothers were together and, for some reason, she felt sure that one of them would not be returning. It was something that she just felt in her blood.
"Penny for them."
She smiled and turned to face her boyfriend, hoping that he missed the sadness in her eyes. "I'm okay."
"No, your not," Harry said, the arm that was wrapped around her reaching to wipe her tears. "You're thinking about your brothers, aren't you?"
She nodded and he leaned forward to kiss her on the tip of her nose. "Thank you."
"For what?"
She smiled. "For not telling me that they'll be fine." Harry frowned and opened his mouth to speak, but she shook her head. "Please, Harry. Don't. Don't promise me they'll be okay. It's the first time you haven't and I need you to stick to it. Someone isn't coming home. I know it."
Harry stopped walking and turned to face her. She smiled sadly and he sighed. "I love you."
"I love you, too, Harry."
He leaned in and kissed her, softly at first and then with increasing passion. It was as if he were trying to put everything he felt into the kiss, as if he wanted to make all her pain go away and, for a moment, at least, it worked.
"Ahem."
They jumped apart like naughty school children. Ginny started to laugh and ran towards the man, throwing her arms around him. "Remus," she said happily. "It's so good to see you."
The elder man chuckled and returned her hug. "Likewise, Ginny, likewise." They pulled apart and Ginny stepped back, allowing Harry to greet the last of the Marauders. It felt so final, so melodramatic to think of Remus like that, but it was true. He was the last of his friends, the only one left and, perhaps, the most tortured soul of them all, werewolf aside. He was the one that had to live.
"I thought I might bump into you two up here."
Ginny smiled and took Harry's hand as he stepped back beside her. "We wanted to come earlier, but Mum was being a pain."
Remus laughed. "I'm sure she just doesn't like the thought of the two of you sneaking off together. I doubt she's anxious for her youngest to give her a grandchild yet."
"We…I mean, we haven't-" Harry stopped talking. His face was bright red and Ginny knew hers was the same. "Does everybody know about us?"
"You weren't exactly subtle, Harry."
Ginny laughed as Harry groaned. Personally, she found the whole thing amusing. Harry turned to glare at her and she flicked her wrist, causing his broomstick to fly out of his grasp and into the air above them.
"Say sorry and you'll get it back."
"Where did you learn wandless magic?" Remus asked, his eyes wide.
She smiled and shrugged. "I just did it one day, and kept on doing it. But don't tell my mum."
"I won't, Ginny, but you should. It's a very powerful witch that does not require the use of a wand."
She sighed but nodded her head. It had been another of her secrets destined to be discovered. The first one had gone well; she wasn't so sure this one would. It was dangerous to do wandless magic, many witches and wizards had burnt out doing it.
"Ginny, promise me."
"I promise." Ginny glared at him. "When did you turn into an adult, Moony?"
The elder man laughed and shook his head at her. "Padfoot was right, she taught you well, did our Lily."
Harry snorted. "She was rather scary before she met my mum."
Ginny beamed at him. "Thank you."
They stood in silence for a few moments, turning to the gravestones. They had managed to secure Sirius' place next to Harry's parents and Ginny was glad. It was hard enough to visit their graves now that she knew had known them, but to have to visit more than one place to remember people whose lives were so intertwined would be double the grief.
"All good things must come to an end, Mr. Potter, but that does not mean that what follows cannot be better."
"What?" Ginny frowned and turned to Harry, noting that Remus had the same confused look in his eyes.
"Dumbledore. When we went to the kitchens that day we bumped into Dumbledore."
"I remember," Remus said, nodding.
"I think he knew. I think he knew that he was going to die that night; I think he knew that a lot of people I loved were going to die that night. That's what he said to me, 'all good things must come to an end, Mr. Potter, but that does not mean that what follows cannot be better'."
"He was a wise man." Remus smiled. "But personally, I always preferred Sirius' outlook. When they frowned, he smiled and replied, "All good things come to those who wait."
"I think I like them both," Ginny said. "They're both so full of hope that there's something to look forward to." She smiled at Harry and he slowly began to smile back.
"So, Harry, what are you planning on doing with yourself this year?" Remus asked. He shook his head and interrupted Harry before he could reply. "And don't try to give me this man of leisure rubbish." Harry laughed and he looked at the boy curiously. "Did you ever think about playing professional Quidditch?"
"Actually…" Harry smiled and glanced at Ginny. "I guess it wouldn't hurt to tell you a little early."
"You're going to play Quidditch?" she asked, her eyes widening.
"Not quite." He looked at her for a moment. "How would you feel about having me at Hogwarts for another year?"
"I'd love it…but how?"
"I'm going to be taking over from Madam Hooch."
Ginny looked at him wide eyed for a moment before squealing and throwing her arms around him. Her life wasn't perfect, she knew that, but she was happy. He was coming back to Hogwarts with her and she had so many hopes for the future.
She pulled back and smiled at Harry as he and Remus began talking. Turning to look behind them, her eyes widened as she saw the Harry from her dream. He was holding Jamie in one arm and Ash was clutching onto his other hand. Jamie waved at her and Harry whispered that he loved her.
Ashling, however, tilted her head to the side and smiled. "I'll see you soon, Mummy."
And they disappeared.
"You all right, Gin?"
She turned to Harry and nodded. "I think I will be. I think we all will be." She took his hand again and glanced at the space where her family had stood. She no longer felt the need to wish that they existed, because she knew they would. Soon. Her life so far had been good, but she knew that that was all over. But, as a very wise man had once said, what was to follow could be even better.
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End of Part Eight
Well, it took a while, but I hope that you enjoyed. I hope to have the epilogue done soon. Having written this chapter, am also thinking that, on top of the R/H outtake and the Marauder outtake, I might do a Bill/Charlie outtake. Let me know what you think, but wait until after the epilogue, it will answer some of the questions.