Harry's knees buckled and he fell weakly onto the floor as the five of them landed in the gloomy kitchen of Headquarters. Fred and George were still standing, but Ginny had also fallen next to Harry.
"Oh thank goodness, thank goodness!" Mrs. Weasley came bustling down the stairs into the kitchen and threw her arms around Ron and Ginny while George pulled Harry to his feet. "Oh I was so worried, thank heavens you're all—Ron, you're bleeding!"
"It's okay, Mum, just a cut. I feel fine," Ron replied tiredly.
"You are not fine," Mrs. Weasley said sternly. "Madame Pomfrey's here; she'll be able to patch you up. Ginny, you don't look very hurt but—Ginny? Ginny, what's wrong, dear?" Ginny had a very dazed look on her face and seemed to be fighting the urge to collapse.
"Lucius Malfoy hit her with the Cruciatus Curse," Harry said shakily, not quite meeting Mrs. Weasley's eyes. Mrs. Weasley gasped and held Ginny's face between her hands.
"Oh, Ginny, oh my…" she began, pulling Ginny into a tight embrace. Harry saw tears making their way down Ginny's face and was so overwhelmed with guilt he thought he might be sick. "He—oh, I swear if I ever…" Mrs. Weasley continued angrily, with the kind of indignation that only being a parent can cause.
Madame Pomfrey came downstairs and set to work healing everyone. She mended Ron's cut forehead with a wave of her wand and insisted on issuing calming draughts to everyone, particularly Ginny. Although she tried to force them all to go to bed, none of them really wanted to leave until the Order had returned.
Harry sat on a stool in the kitchen sipping a hot chocolate and trying to master his feelings. He hated being back here. Everywhere he turned he was reminded of Sirius. Sitting here now, waiting for the Order to return, reminded him of last Christmas when he had sit in this kitchen with Sirius, waiting for word about Mr. Weasley's condition. Although Harry knew he was being silly and childish, he had a desperate desire to see Sirius walk through the kitchen door and join him for a cup of hot cocoa right now, just like last year. Sirius would probably make some sarcastic remark about Kreacher, or else have a story to share with Harry about his schooldays with his father. Harry smiled reminiscently, but he also felt as if a golfball had somehow lodged in his throat and his eyes were burning. He shook his head, trying to clear the memory of Sirius, and saw Ginny watching him intently. She quickly looked away though and sipped her own mug of hot chocolate.
"Mum," Ron muttered quietly, "what's taking the Order so long?"
"Well, they're probably just trying to round up the Death Eaters. No use worrying, Ron, I'm sure they're fine," Mrs. Weasley responded in an overly-cheery voice, which convinced Harry that she was very worried.
After another ten minutes of painful waiting, the kitchen door burst open and Tonks came hurrying through. Mrs. Weasley stood up and hurried over to her.
"Tonks, what's going on, where is everyone?" she asked hurriedly.
"They're fighting the Death Eaters in Azkaban!" Tonks replied.
"What?" said Mrs. Weasley, drawing a quick breath, while her children and Harry sat with bated breath.
"There were more Death Eaters at the Manor than we thought," said Tonks, sitting down at the table. Everyone slipped off their stools and sat down with her, wanting to hear what was going on. "When we first arrived there, Arthur, Remus, and I found four of them in that small room with Harry, Ginny, and Hermione. We sent stunners at them, but I don't remember much after that because someone stunned me. All I know is that I woke up on the floor sometime later to find Dumbledore there. Apparently Arthur, Remus, and I had all been stunned. None of the kids were in sight, but Lupin told us that Harry and Ginny had escaped. He said he had been battling Dolohov and didn't remember anything after that. Dumbledore told us that more Death Eaters had been at the mansion, and they must have stunned Remus from behind when he was battling Dolohov. No one else was there when we woke up. Dumbledore reckons they woke up the stunned Death Eaters and all of them disapparated."
"To Azkaban?" Mrs. Weasley asked, dreading the answer.
"Yes," Tonks said warily. "Dumbledore believes that's where they disapparated to, so the Order went to fight them there. Kingsley and Mad-Eye joined them, and I know a lot more Order members are heading out there too. Dumbledore asked me to relate to you what was going on, but now I need to make my way out there too. We'll send you news as soon as possible," she finished, standing up with a determined air and pushing her chair in.
"Wait!" Ron exclaimed. "Where's Hermione?" Harry had been about to ask the same question, and he watched as Tonks set a sympathetic gaze upon him and Ron.
"Dolohov disapparated with her," she said very fast. Harry felt a chill run through his whole body . "We reckon they're still trying to lure Harry to them. But I need to go now…there's an intense battle out there and I need to help the Order."
"I'm coming with you," Harry said, rising from his chair.
"Me too," Ron said fiercely, also standing up.
"You'll do no such thing!" Mrs. Weasley shouted.
"I want to help you too," Ginny said, pushing her chair out of the way and staring at her brother and Harry.
"Will you three sit down!" Mrs. Weasley yelled exasperatedly. "I know that you're all very concerned about Hermione, but the Order will be better off trying to rescue her without you three interfering!"
"Dumbledore said that on no account is Harry to come out there," said Tonks, striding toward the door.
"She's my best friend!" Harry shouted furiously.
"Mine too!" said Ron, sounding desperate.
"And we're going to make sure she's alright," Tonks said resolutely. "None of us would forgive ourselves if anything happened to her. But Harry, you're just playing right into You-Know-Who's hands if you go charging out there."
"Fine, Harry doesn't have to go, but I'll come!" Ron yelled, marching around the table.
"I'm sorry, but you can't," Tonks said sincerely, staring at him. And with a small pop, she disappeared.
Ron kicked the table in frustration. Harry clenched his fists, breathing rapidly. When would they start treating him like an adult?
"Why don't we all get some more hot chocolate," Mrs. Weasley murmured, picking up a teapot with shaking hands.
Everyone stared at her. The twins, who had not said anything during the conversation with Tonks, looked like they would throw up if they had to drink anymore. Ron looked furious at the suggestion, and Ginny was crying again. Harry felt worse than he had ever felt in his whole life. He couldn't stand to be in this room anymore. Not really noticing what he was doing, he turned around and walked out of the kitchen, feeling like he would be sick at any moment. He desperately needed somewhere to go. Trying not to look at the familiar walls of Grimmauld Place, he climbed the stairs very fast. His head felt like it was spinning. He passed the bedroom he shared with Ron last summer and kept climbing the stairs; he didn't want to be found. Finally he found Sirius' old room and quickly went in. He shut the door and collapsed on the floor, shutting his eyes and trying to control his breathing. But the more he tried to even out his breathing, the more rapid it became.
Voldemort had Hermione. First he had killed Harry's parents, then his godfather, now one of his best friends? Who was next, Ron? Ginny? Lupin? Mr. and Mrs. Weasley? Harry felt his heart plummet. Ice was pulsing through his veins. He had never known this agony, not even with Sirius' death. He felt trapped, like Voldemort was chasing him and he couldn't get away. Fleetingly, he remembered the Prophecy: Neither can live while the other survives. Panic set in and Harry soon found himself succumbing to the tears. Before he knew it, he was lying on the ground sobbing. He cried for Hermione and the fear that he would lose her. He cried for Sirius. He cried for himself. On top of all that, he cried because he knew it was his fault.
Everyone suffered because of him. Had it not been for this Prophecy, his parents wouldn't have died. If it weren't for Harry, Mr. and Mrs. Diggory would still be enjoying the company of their only son. If Harry hadn't been so rash and gone to the Department of Mysteries, Sirius would still be alive. And if she had never met him, Hermione wouldn't be in the predicament she was in now. Harry forgot his pain for a moment and tried to think how Hermione must be feeling right now. Was she angry at him? Did she regret that she was his friend? Was she even alive? Once again the ice coursed through his veins.
How must Ron be feeling right now? He was suffering because of Harry. He had lost one of his best friends and probably hated his other one now. Harry grimaced at the thought. What about Ginny? Hermione had been the closest female friend she had. Harry's heart hammered as he thought about her suffering the Cruciatus Curse, all because of him. What about Mrs. Weasley? Hermione was like a daughter to her. And what about Hermione's real parents? Harry wept for all of them and felt tormented by his immense guilt. He didn't realize the door had opened.
Ginny took one look at him sobbing on the floor and then threw herself down next to him. She knew he must be suffering. She saw it in his eyes after Tonks had told him what happened. And she knew that good, noble Harry was being crushed under the massive weight of guilt that didn't even belong to him. That's why she had followed him up here.
"Harry," she whispered, kneeling next to him. He didn't respond. She patted his back and watched as sobs wracked his body, listening to his ragged breathing and feeling his pain. She allowed her own tears to fall and was soon weeping with him. This continued for several more minutes while both of them let their pain out. Ginny could hear Harry moaning in-between his ragged breathing.
"Harry," she said again, sniffling. Despite all the anguish she was feeling right now, she felt desperate to help him. "Harry," she repeated tenderly.
He raised his tear-stained face off the ground. Now that some of his crying was subsiding, he started to feel embarrassed that he had let his defenses down in front of Ginny. He felt her rubbing his back and realized it was a small comfort to him.
"I know you're feeling guilty," she said quietly. "But you shouldn't."
"This is all my fault," Harry said, staring at the floor.
"No it isn't. You need to stop blaming yourself for everything!"
Harry stood up and walked shakily around the room. All of Sirius' belongings were scattered about, untouched. He ran his hand along some photographs, including one of himself. "He'd still be here if it wasn't for me," Harry said very quietly, more to himself than Ginny. Nevertheless, she caught his words.
"You need to stop believing that. Sirius wouldn't have wanted to live if it wasn't for you. And I know he would die a thousand times more to save you." She crossed the room and stood next to him, observing the photographs on Sirius' desk.
"If
I hadn't been so stupid, nothing would have happened to him."
"Harry, it's not your fault! Bellatrix killed him, not you!"
"It is my fault! Don't you get it!? Everyone suffers because they know me! He wouldn't have gone to Azkaban in the first place if Voldemort hadn't killed my parents to get to me! And now he's dead anyway, and it's my fault for being so rash! Cedric would still be alive, probably about to start his first job, Hermione would probably be sitting happily in the library right now, you wouldn't be recovering from the Cruciatus Curse, Percy would still be a part of your family!"
"That isn't your fault! Everything you just mentioned, it's all because of Voldemort! You don't have to be so noble all the time Harry, you can just accept that he's causing all of this pain!"
"But the Prophecy…" Harry said, "it only deals with me, not everyone else. It's my fault if anyone else gets hurt." He sank onto the ground again, covering his face and muttering. Ginny did not press him any further about the Prophecy; she knelt next to him and wrapped her arms tightly around him while a fresh wave of tears swept over him.
"Shhh…" she whispered consolingly. "Shh…Harry it's all going to be okay."
Harry allowed her to hold him while he continued to weep.
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A/N: Okay, sorry for the lack of updating lately. I was too excited over the movie! Prisoner of Azkaban was brilliant, I enjoyed the midnight showing with all the other die-hard fans, and I've been to see it 4 times now! I've also been really engrossed in the fanfic "Harry Potter and the Power of Emotion" by Melindaleo. It's an excellent story and I highly recommend that everyone take a look at it. Thanks to all my excellent reviewers for waiting so patiently and giving me feedback about my story so far!
::Review unto others as you would have them review unto you::