[Part II]
Peace? What of it?
"What sticks to memory, often, are those little fragments that have no beginning and no end." -Tim O'Brien
-May 23rd 2003-
The priest had said a prayer for Vaughn, then they all watched as Sydney slowly walked toward the salty Pacific. She stood there for a moment, watching as the waves rolled through the water, everyone watched her. All except Marshall, he couldn't, he was emotional, he cried, he wasn't a coward when it came to death, he was to frigetned, but i guess that's what happens when your friends die becasue of a damned job. Sydney looked up at the gray clouds.
"I know you're somewhere up there, i know you're watching over me, over all of us. I miss you so much." She said. She started gettig teary.
"I know this wasn't an accident, i'm going to find out who did this to you, to us. They'll pay, if it takes me the rest of my life Vaughn, i swear to you...they'll pay." She said. She slowly opened the top of the urn.
"I love you, Michael, be in peace." She said. With a forward motion she sprinkled the ashes into the murky blue water. They mixed in with the salty liquid and floated away to sea. Sydney stood there for a moment. She walked up the beach and stood at Weiss's car. The rest of the men departed, heading off seperate ways. Weiss walked up to Sydeny. They just looked at eachother. Both seeing the hurt in eachother's faces. Sydney threw her arms around Weiss and he held her.
"I miss him, Eric." She cried.
"I know." Eric said with tears in his eyes.
"I miss him too." He said. He pulled away.
"But he wouldn't want us to cry. He'd want us to move on with the world." Weiss said.
"He was my world, he is my world." Sydney said.
"As despraete as it sounds. He's the only real thing i've ever had in my life." She said. Weiss hugged her again.
"We'll get through this, we'll get through it together." He said. She sobbed into the shoulder of his black suit. She now knew what it was like to be in the position of Craig's wife, standing alone in this gosh awful world with no one to face it with, no one to hold, no one to stand by. She and Vaughn had watched as his wife broke down in front of his family and friends. That day changed her, she looked over at Vaughn and knew she was blessed to have him. She would never let go. Letting go meant breaking their promise, and breaking their promise would lead to nothing good.
-Flashback-
Vaughn slowly woke up and looked at the clock. It was 9:30 and the service for Craig began at 11:00. Vaughn looked to his left to see Sydney still sleeping, the covers pulled around her and her head craddled in the soft pillows. He leaned over and planted kiss on her forehead. He slowly sat up and placed his feet on the cool carpet. He streched his arms out above his head and stood up. He walked to the bathroom and took a quick shower, after brushing his teeth and washing his face he walked out into the bedroom clad in a towel. Sydney was still sleeping peacefully. He smiled. He always loved to watch her sleep, everything about her was angelic. He went to her closet and opened the doors. She had let him keep a few extra suits in her closet so they wouldn't get all wrinklie in his drawer. He took out his black suit and set it on the end of the bed, he put on his pants and went into his drawer and took out a white dress shirt. He slipped it on and walked into the bathroom and started buttoning it. He cleaned up his clothes and walked back into the bedroom. He was surpirsed to see Sydney watching him from where she laid.
"Morning." She said. He looked at her while he buttoned the last of the buttons. He smiled.
"Morning, beautiful." He said. She smiled.
"You're up already?" She asked.
"Yeah, i have to leave by 10:15." Vaughn said. Sydney looked at the clock. It was only 9:55. Sydney sat up in bed and rubbed her eyes. Vaughn looked at her and smiled. He walked over to her and leaned down over the bed. He kissed her softly.
"Why don't you sleep some more, no work today." He said. He sat down on the edge of the bed and slipped on his black socks.
"Vaughn?" She asked.
"Yeah." he said.
"Do want me to come with you?" She asked.
"I'll be okay." He said.
"Oh, okay." She said. She was silent. He put both feet on the floor and turned to her.
"Do you want to come with?" He asked. She looked at him.
"I don't know, i just thought maybe...maybe you woulnd't want to go alone." Sydney said.
"If you want to come you can, i just...i didn't think you'd want to, i know you don't like funerals." He said.
"Who does?" She asked.
"True." He said.
"Better get ready then, we have to leave in 20 minutes." He said. She nodded. She scooted off the bed and walked into the bathroom. She closed the door slightly and jumped into the shower. 20 minutes later they were headed out the door.
-End Flashback-
It amazed her really, the way he loved her. The things he did, the things he said, and the things he didn't say. She knew for awhile that he was in love with her, maybe it was in Tapei, or when he was sick, she didn't really know. But one thing she knew for sure, that man adored her, he loved her with everything he had, he loved her when they fought, he loved her when she was wrong, he loved her when she was stubborn, he loved her when she just woke up, no make-up, hair messed up and clad in his plaid pajama pants and his kings t-shirt. He loved her silly, he loved her mad, and he just plain loved her. What else was there to say?
-Flashback-
-Funeral-
Vaughn parked the red land crusier and Sydney got out, as did Vaughn. She went around to his side and stood next to him.
"Let's go." He said. He grabbed her hand and they walked through the grass toward the the chairs that were set up by the grave. Family and Friends stood around talking. Vaughn and Sydney stood there looking around.
"Michael?" A woman's voice asked. Vaughn turned around as did sydney.
"Melissa, hi." Vaughn said. A woman about their age stood before them, blonde hair, gray eyes, skinny. The eyes Sydney would never forget those eyes, they were so sad, so lost.
"Hi, thank you for coming." She said.
"I wanted to come." Vaughn said.
"I'm so sorry." He said. Melissa nodded.
"I already miss him, Craig was such a great man." Melissa said.
"He was, he was a good friend." Vaughn said. They were silent for a moment.
"I'm sorry, Melissa, this is Sydney Bristow, my girlfriend. Syd, this is Craig's wife Melissa." Vaughn said. Sydney shoke hands with the greeving woman, she had to give the woman credit, she hid it well.
"It's nice to meet you, to bad it's not under better circumstances. I'm so sorry for your loss." Sydney said. Melissa smiled.
"Thank you, Sydney." Melissa said.
"If you'll excuse me." Melissa said.
"Sure." Vaughn said
"It was nice meeting you." Melissa said.
"You too." Syd said. Melissa walked away. About 10 mintues later the service began, there were speeches and paryers. At the end everyone stood up and was ready to leave. Vaughn was talking to a group of friends from college, Sydney watched as Melissa stood at her husbands casket, her hand resting atop the wooden box. Her father came up and hugged her, the woman broke down, she cried her heart out, Sydney felt nothing but sympathy for her. She felt a slight squezze of her hand and she turned to see Vaughn watching her.
"You okay?" He asked. She didn't notice he was done talking to his friends.
"Can we go home?" She asked. He nodded.
"Yeah, sure." He said. They walked towards the car and climbed in. The car ride was silent. Sydney just kept thinking. She never wanted to lose Vaughn, she never wanted to be alone, like Melissa now was, she was afriad, and she had a damn good reason to be.
-End Flashback-
After the funeral Sydney went away for a few weeks, to clear her head mostly. Everywhere she went she saw him, she saw them. It was starting to annoy her to some extent, not seeing him, but wondering what could have been. In July, after she had come back from "vacation", she had seen something, that both touched her, and angered her.
-July 19th, 2003-
Sydney walked into the crowded morning Starbucks downtown. She waited in line to her usual and when she finally did get it she decided it was nice enough to sit outside at the tables. She walked out into the sun that rose between the buildings. She didn't have to be at work until 9:00 so she had time. She took a seat on the green metal chair that sat on the gray pavement on the exterior of the building. She watched as people walked down the sidewalk, most of them off to another day of work. She liked watching people, wondering what they were thinking, where they were headed too. There was a man at the end of the corner, a man that served his country in 60's when Vietnam was being fought, a veteran, that because he didn't forget about the inncoent people that needed help in Vietnam, people forgot him. It was a sad really, he sat there almost everyday, sometimes he'd be on the other side of the street. He'd be out in the rain and in the sun, because he had no where else to go. He had a beat up cardboard sign he carried with him, reading, Will work for food. People didn't seem to notice him, his dual gray eyes staring at the black pavement of the street. And it makes you wonder if he's replaying the gorey images of lossing his friends in Nam, or killing a man for the first time. He had no one, just like her. And although she never spoke a word to him, she felt an eriee connection. Her eyes shifted to a man across the street, he was drinking coffee and reading the newspaper. By the way he kept glancing around he seemed nervous. He seemed to think someone was watching him, i guess he doesn't know much about the government. What scares him is mysterious. He's wearing a wedding ring and there's a list of things that makes him uneasy. Perhaps he has a mistress, or perhaps he is doing something illegal, or maybe he's just parranoid with the city surroundings, afraid of being mugged, afraid of people knowing he's there. Her eyes shift once again to a young woman, she's walking down the street in a waitress uniform, in each hand she holds her kids small hands. They look to be about 5 or 6. A boy and a girl. She doesn't look much over 21 and the way she walks says she is a single, working mother. There's confidence in her face, not saddness, why should there be? She has two angels to keep her company, that's all you need in life. She works to provide food for her family, to make sure that her children don't make the mistake she did. But what she thought was a mistake 5 years ago, is now the joy and center of her life. Her eyes shift again, this time to a couple standing against the marble wall on the side of a building. She watches the couple closley, her eyes grow sad. They are probably about 20, she guess's, and attractive. The girl stands with her back against the wall, he's standing in front of her, only a few inches away. They hold hands and look deeply into eachother's eyes. Nothing in the world seems to phase them, the sound of the the traffic and the world around them fade away. They are totally engrossed with eachother. In love obviously, the woman wraps her arms around his waist from the inside of his jacket, her head buried in his neck. The man resting his head on top of hers. He whispers something to her and Sydney wonders what it is, imagining when Vaughn used to do that. When it was in the middle of the night and they were sleeping, he used to wrap his arms around her and whisper small little things to her, sometimes they were "i love you's", sometimes he told her she was "beautiful" and "amazing". The smallest things meant the most to her, and those small things are what she missed the most. Wheather it was standing on a street corner with him trying to stay warm on a cold day, or watching him as he intently watched his favorite hockey team on tv, the passion in his face the whole time. It was hard to forget those things, becasue before you can forget you have to remember. The couple finally walked off, leaving Sydney staring at the spot they had been. She shook off her own saddness and stood up. She threw away her coffee and froze as she was about to step foot on the sidewalk. She bit her lip and walked back into Starbucks, emerging with a large coffee and two muffins. She stuffed the change in her pocket and walked down to the street corner. The veteran that no one seemed to notice was slummped againt the light pole, his head resting on the cool metal.
"Excuse me." She said. She stepped to the side of him and he looked up at her. She smiled a full dimpled smile, for some reason Vaughn always told her that her smile would make anyone happy. She leaned down and set the coffee and two muffins in front of him. He looked at the food then back up at her. There was something in his eyes, question maybe. And at the moment those gray eyes regain some color.
"Have a nice day, sir." She said. She smiled once more then walked across the street. When she got to the other end she looked back at the man, he had a slight smile on his face as he bit into the warm muffin. For the first time in months, maybe in her life, she felt good, she actually helped someone that had nothing. And it became a sort of daily ritual for her, and everyday she felt even better about herself, better than she has in a long time. Maybe the things Vaughn did for people had rubbed off on her, she wouldn't doubt it, she was in love. It was that simple and that complicated, she was in love.
That day at work she was told the investigation by the CIA forensics team concluded that the fire in Vaughn's house was started intentionally. They found bullet shells in what used to be his house and they highly believed that there was a struggle. It was officaial. Michael Vaughn was murdered, and Sydney Bristow was going to end the life of whom ever it was who took him away from her, she had no mercy for the nameless person(s). When she found them, she would get revenge, not for her, but for him, her angel deserved atleast that much. Michael Vaughn was not going to just become another star on the marble wall, he was someone, he had a face, he had a soul, he was a saint. Peace? What of it? All she thought about was revenge, there was no Peace in her mind.
Peace? What of it?
"What sticks to memory, often, are those little fragments that have no beginning and no end." -Tim O'Brien
-May 23rd 2003-
The priest had said a prayer for Vaughn, then they all watched as Sydney slowly walked toward the salty Pacific. She stood there for a moment, watching as the waves rolled through the water, everyone watched her. All except Marshall, he couldn't, he was emotional, he cried, he wasn't a coward when it came to death, he was to frigetned, but i guess that's what happens when your friends die becasue of a damned job. Sydney looked up at the gray clouds.
"I know you're somewhere up there, i know you're watching over me, over all of us. I miss you so much." She said. She started gettig teary.
"I know this wasn't an accident, i'm going to find out who did this to you, to us. They'll pay, if it takes me the rest of my life Vaughn, i swear to you...they'll pay." She said. She slowly opened the top of the urn.
"I love you, Michael, be in peace." She said. With a forward motion she sprinkled the ashes into the murky blue water. They mixed in with the salty liquid and floated away to sea. Sydney stood there for a moment. She walked up the beach and stood at Weiss's car. The rest of the men departed, heading off seperate ways. Weiss walked up to Sydeny. They just looked at eachother. Both seeing the hurt in eachother's faces. Sydney threw her arms around Weiss and he held her.
"I miss him, Eric." She cried.
"I know." Eric said with tears in his eyes.
"I miss him too." He said. He pulled away.
"But he wouldn't want us to cry. He'd want us to move on with the world." Weiss said.
"He was my world, he is my world." Sydney said.
"As despraete as it sounds. He's the only real thing i've ever had in my life." She said. Weiss hugged her again.
"We'll get through this, we'll get through it together." He said. She sobbed into the shoulder of his black suit. She now knew what it was like to be in the position of Craig's wife, standing alone in this gosh awful world with no one to face it with, no one to hold, no one to stand by. She and Vaughn had watched as his wife broke down in front of his family and friends. That day changed her, she looked over at Vaughn and knew she was blessed to have him. She would never let go. Letting go meant breaking their promise, and breaking their promise would lead to nothing good.
-Flashback-
Vaughn slowly woke up and looked at the clock. It was 9:30 and the service for Craig began at 11:00. Vaughn looked to his left to see Sydney still sleeping, the covers pulled around her and her head craddled in the soft pillows. He leaned over and planted kiss on her forehead. He slowly sat up and placed his feet on the cool carpet. He streched his arms out above his head and stood up. He walked to the bathroom and took a quick shower, after brushing his teeth and washing his face he walked out into the bedroom clad in a towel. Sydney was still sleeping peacefully. He smiled. He always loved to watch her sleep, everything about her was angelic. He went to her closet and opened the doors. She had let him keep a few extra suits in her closet so they wouldn't get all wrinklie in his drawer. He took out his black suit and set it on the end of the bed, he put on his pants and went into his drawer and took out a white dress shirt. He slipped it on and walked into the bathroom and started buttoning it. He cleaned up his clothes and walked back into the bedroom. He was surpirsed to see Sydney watching him from where she laid.
"Morning." She said. He looked at her while he buttoned the last of the buttons. He smiled.
"Morning, beautiful." He said. She smiled.
"You're up already?" She asked.
"Yeah, i have to leave by 10:15." Vaughn said. Sydney looked at the clock. It was only 9:55. Sydney sat up in bed and rubbed her eyes. Vaughn looked at her and smiled. He walked over to her and leaned down over the bed. He kissed her softly.
"Why don't you sleep some more, no work today." He said. He sat down on the edge of the bed and slipped on his black socks.
"Vaughn?" She asked.
"Yeah." he said.
"Do want me to come with you?" She asked.
"I'll be okay." He said.
"Oh, okay." She said. She was silent. He put both feet on the floor and turned to her.
"Do you want to come with?" He asked. She looked at him.
"I don't know, i just thought maybe...maybe you woulnd't want to go alone." Sydney said.
"If you want to come you can, i just...i didn't think you'd want to, i know you don't like funerals." He said.
"Who does?" She asked.
"True." He said.
"Better get ready then, we have to leave in 20 minutes." He said. She nodded. She scooted off the bed and walked into the bathroom. She closed the door slightly and jumped into the shower. 20 minutes later they were headed out the door.
-End Flashback-
It amazed her really, the way he loved her. The things he did, the things he said, and the things he didn't say. She knew for awhile that he was in love with her, maybe it was in Tapei, or when he was sick, she didn't really know. But one thing she knew for sure, that man adored her, he loved her with everything he had, he loved her when they fought, he loved her when she was wrong, he loved her when she was stubborn, he loved her when she just woke up, no make-up, hair messed up and clad in his plaid pajama pants and his kings t-shirt. He loved her silly, he loved her mad, and he just plain loved her. What else was there to say?
-Flashback-
-Funeral-
Vaughn parked the red land crusier and Sydney got out, as did Vaughn. She went around to his side and stood next to him.
"Let's go." He said. He grabbed her hand and they walked through the grass toward the the chairs that were set up by the grave. Family and Friends stood around talking. Vaughn and Sydney stood there looking around.
"Michael?" A woman's voice asked. Vaughn turned around as did sydney.
"Melissa, hi." Vaughn said. A woman about their age stood before them, blonde hair, gray eyes, skinny. The eyes Sydney would never forget those eyes, they were so sad, so lost.
"Hi, thank you for coming." She said.
"I wanted to come." Vaughn said.
"I'm so sorry." He said. Melissa nodded.
"I already miss him, Craig was such a great man." Melissa said.
"He was, he was a good friend." Vaughn said. They were silent for a moment.
"I'm sorry, Melissa, this is Sydney Bristow, my girlfriend. Syd, this is Craig's wife Melissa." Vaughn said. Sydney shoke hands with the greeving woman, she had to give the woman credit, she hid it well.
"It's nice to meet you, to bad it's not under better circumstances. I'm so sorry for your loss." Sydney said. Melissa smiled.
"Thank you, Sydney." Melissa said.
"If you'll excuse me." Melissa said.
"Sure." Vaughn said
"It was nice meeting you." Melissa said.
"You too." Syd said. Melissa walked away. About 10 mintues later the service began, there were speeches and paryers. At the end everyone stood up and was ready to leave. Vaughn was talking to a group of friends from college, Sydney watched as Melissa stood at her husbands casket, her hand resting atop the wooden box. Her father came up and hugged her, the woman broke down, she cried her heart out, Sydney felt nothing but sympathy for her. She felt a slight squezze of her hand and she turned to see Vaughn watching her.
"You okay?" He asked. She didn't notice he was done talking to his friends.
"Can we go home?" She asked. He nodded.
"Yeah, sure." He said. They walked towards the car and climbed in. The car ride was silent. Sydney just kept thinking. She never wanted to lose Vaughn, she never wanted to be alone, like Melissa now was, she was afriad, and she had a damn good reason to be.
-End Flashback-
After the funeral Sydney went away for a few weeks, to clear her head mostly. Everywhere she went she saw him, she saw them. It was starting to annoy her to some extent, not seeing him, but wondering what could have been. In July, after she had come back from "vacation", she had seen something, that both touched her, and angered her.
-July 19th, 2003-
Sydney walked into the crowded morning Starbucks downtown. She waited in line to her usual and when she finally did get it she decided it was nice enough to sit outside at the tables. She walked out into the sun that rose between the buildings. She didn't have to be at work until 9:00 so she had time. She took a seat on the green metal chair that sat on the gray pavement on the exterior of the building. She watched as people walked down the sidewalk, most of them off to another day of work. She liked watching people, wondering what they were thinking, where they were headed too. There was a man at the end of the corner, a man that served his country in 60's when Vietnam was being fought, a veteran, that because he didn't forget about the inncoent people that needed help in Vietnam, people forgot him. It was a sad really, he sat there almost everyday, sometimes he'd be on the other side of the street. He'd be out in the rain and in the sun, because he had no where else to go. He had a beat up cardboard sign he carried with him, reading, Will work for food. People didn't seem to notice him, his dual gray eyes staring at the black pavement of the street. And it makes you wonder if he's replaying the gorey images of lossing his friends in Nam, or killing a man for the first time. He had no one, just like her. And although she never spoke a word to him, she felt an eriee connection. Her eyes shifted to a man across the street, he was drinking coffee and reading the newspaper. By the way he kept glancing around he seemed nervous. He seemed to think someone was watching him, i guess he doesn't know much about the government. What scares him is mysterious. He's wearing a wedding ring and there's a list of things that makes him uneasy. Perhaps he has a mistress, or perhaps he is doing something illegal, or maybe he's just parranoid with the city surroundings, afraid of being mugged, afraid of people knowing he's there. Her eyes shift once again to a young woman, she's walking down the street in a waitress uniform, in each hand she holds her kids small hands. They look to be about 5 or 6. A boy and a girl. She doesn't look much over 21 and the way she walks says she is a single, working mother. There's confidence in her face, not saddness, why should there be? She has two angels to keep her company, that's all you need in life. She works to provide food for her family, to make sure that her children don't make the mistake she did. But what she thought was a mistake 5 years ago, is now the joy and center of her life. Her eyes shift again, this time to a couple standing against the marble wall on the side of a building. She watches the couple closley, her eyes grow sad. They are probably about 20, she guess's, and attractive. The girl stands with her back against the wall, he's standing in front of her, only a few inches away. They hold hands and look deeply into eachother's eyes. Nothing in the world seems to phase them, the sound of the the traffic and the world around them fade away. They are totally engrossed with eachother. In love obviously, the woman wraps her arms around his waist from the inside of his jacket, her head buried in his neck. The man resting his head on top of hers. He whispers something to her and Sydney wonders what it is, imagining when Vaughn used to do that. When it was in the middle of the night and they were sleeping, he used to wrap his arms around her and whisper small little things to her, sometimes they were "i love you's", sometimes he told her she was "beautiful" and "amazing". The smallest things meant the most to her, and those small things are what she missed the most. Wheather it was standing on a street corner with him trying to stay warm on a cold day, or watching him as he intently watched his favorite hockey team on tv, the passion in his face the whole time. It was hard to forget those things, becasue before you can forget you have to remember. The couple finally walked off, leaving Sydney staring at the spot they had been. She shook off her own saddness and stood up. She threw away her coffee and froze as she was about to step foot on the sidewalk. She bit her lip and walked back into Starbucks, emerging with a large coffee and two muffins. She stuffed the change in her pocket and walked down to the street corner. The veteran that no one seemed to notice was slummped againt the light pole, his head resting on the cool metal.
"Excuse me." She said. She stepped to the side of him and he looked up at her. She smiled a full dimpled smile, for some reason Vaughn always told her that her smile would make anyone happy. She leaned down and set the coffee and two muffins in front of him. He looked at the food then back up at her. There was something in his eyes, question maybe. And at the moment those gray eyes regain some color.
"Have a nice day, sir." She said. She smiled once more then walked across the street. When she got to the other end she looked back at the man, he had a slight smile on his face as he bit into the warm muffin. For the first time in months, maybe in her life, she felt good, she actually helped someone that had nothing. And it became a sort of daily ritual for her, and everyday she felt even better about herself, better than she has in a long time. Maybe the things Vaughn did for people had rubbed off on her, she wouldn't doubt it, she was in love. It was that simple and that complicated, she was in love.
That day at work she was told the investigation by the CIA forensics team concluded that the fire in Vaughn's house was started intentionally. They found bullet shells in what used to be his house and they highly believed that there was a struggle. It was officaial. Michael Vaughn was murdered, and Sydney Bristow was going to end the life of whom ever it was who took him away from her, she had no mercy for the nameless person(s). When she found them, she would get revenge, not for her, but for him, her angel deserved atleast that much. Michael Vaughn was not going to just become another star on the marble wall, he was someone, he had a face, he had a soul, he was a saint. Peace? What of it? All she thought about was revenge, there was no Peace in her mind.