[Part III]
"The Past and the Present"
When she got home that same night, she started to think about that days events, she still felt good about what she did for the homeless man, she helped a man that couldn't help himself. A memory from a few months after her and Vaughn were together suddenly unburried itself. It was something she'd never seen, well, maybe, in the movies, but her life was far from the movies. Some of the saddest movie endings were nothing compaired to her life, it was true, she'd lost three men she loved. One she told the truth too, the other was an assassian that just suddenly reappered in her life, and her most recent was just taken from her, becasue...well she didn't why. But when she thought that Vaughn couldn't amaze her anymore, he did. It was a small situation, nothing dangerous about it. It showed her that there were still people that cared, still people that paid attention to the rest of the world and not just themselves. They were walking in the mall on a saturday morning, minding their own business, just walking and talking about the movie they were going to see that night, they were interupted by a short chinesse woman, cute really, maybe 40 or 50. She was in a panic, she told them her son had gotten away from her while she was standing in line and she couldn't find him. She pulled out a picture and asked them if they had seen her boy. Sydney looked at Vaughn as he studied it. He had told her no. She thanked them and started walking off, then Vaughn asked what his name was. The woman stopped and turned around, telling him Christopher. Vaughn offered to help, and when he had volunterred, Sydney had just stared at him. Could the man be any more compassionate? Seriously. She was starting to think Vaughn wasn't human, since she met him, she can't remember one time that he acted selfish, not once. She wondered if he ever even thought about himself. It puzzled her. So much so, that she had watched him sleep that night, just watching him for hours. She didn't understand, and maybe she never would.
Sydney sat on her couch, a beer bottle sitting in front of her, half-full and half-empty. With her legs pulled up to her chest she thought, she thought hard, remembering all the times that he had done little things to help her. Vaughn would take a bullet for her, no doubt, he's the one that said it in the first place. He'd die for her, he'd live for her, and he'd always love her. What they shared was beyond the physical attraction, it was pure emotional, they knew what eachother was going to say before they said it, well most of the time. She wasn't exaclty expecting him to say "I love you" when he did, not that it was a bad thing. That's the one surpirse she didn't hate. What made her feel guilty is that she didn't say it back to him right away. It was actually a few days later, she knew that he knew, but it just feels better saying it, making sure that the other person really does know what you're feeling. They were lying in bed at night, completely in the dark, she didn't know if he was asleep or not, but she said it anyway.
-Flashback-
"I love you." Sydney said through the dark air around them. She heard his breathing stop for a second. Then she heard him move and then the lamp on the nightstand radiated light. He turned over and looked at her.
"What?" He asked.
-End Flashback-
He had heard her, he was just surprised, she had surpirsed him just as he did her, and the look on his face was priceless, the look on his face was perminetly etteched into her mind, her memory, and her heart forever. Then again, for them, forever isn't long enough.
-November 27th, 2003-
After having Thanksgiving dinner with her father and her two best friends Sydney had retreated to her room for a bit while her father and Will awkwardly watched the football game together, and it was awkward, both men sitting on the couch silent, she didn't think Will was really sure of what to say, so he just kept quite, which was a good choice. She went to her dresser drawer and opened the third compartment. She took out Vaughn's black long-sleeved shirt that she had bought him one day while shopping, it was a very domestic experiance for her, one she had missed. She carried it over to the bed and sat down. If someone walked in on her they might have thought she was crazy. Crazy because she kept her dead boyfriends clothes 7 months after he died. Crazy because some nights when she missed him she would take a shirt of his and breath in his scent, as if afraid to forget it. Crazy, people may think she is, but they don't know half of it. Why doesn't someone take away the person they love the most and see how they deal. Then they'd know what it was like. The lonliness and the darkness that comsumes you. It's in every aspect of your life, you can't erase it. Sydney slipped on the shirt over her blouse and smooted it down. The sleeves were too long but she liked it that way, it added to the comfort. She slipped on her sandles and picked up her keys. She walked out in the living room to see Will and her father still watching the game. Will tried to make conversation, but failed miserabley. Sydney looked into the kitchen at Francie, who was washing dishes. Francie looked at her.
"Hey girl, where you going?" Francie asked as she scrubbed the pot.
"Just for a drive." She said. Francie nodded, she knew her friend better than that. Sydney started to walk away. Then in a soft voice, one that only Sydney could have heard, she said,
"Tell him i said happy birthday." Francie said. Sydney froze for a second. Tears immeidiatley springing to her eyes, but she willed them away.
"I'll be back." Sydney said. She didn't turn around, not once. She just walked out the door, no more words spoken. She jumped in her car, she didn't even know where she was going, but she ended up at the beach, the same one where she stood 7 months ago with the six other men beside her, not including the preist. At first she just watched the waves through her windsheild but she finally got enough strength in her to get out of the car, throwing her sandles on the passenger seat, she closed the door and walked barefoot into the soft brown sand. She went to the exact spot that she had stood the day of his funeral, and she looked out over the salty Pacific water. The sun was setting, the sky was illuminated with warm colors including purple, pink, orange and yellow, they all seemed to mix together to create the perfect sky before sunset. The only thing heard was the waves crahsing onto the the rocks. The ocean brezze pushing her hair out of her face. She sat down and began to talk.
"Hi." She said softly.
"Just got done eating Thanksgiving dinner, i thought i'd drop by. It's your birthday today." She said. She smiled slighty for a minute. But the smile soon turned into a frown as she tried to hold her tears back, she sobbed.
"Vaughn, i miss you so much." She said.
"Please come back to me, i can't live like this anymore." She said. She pulled her knees up to her chest.
"Everything...everything is so hard now, i feel so empty, i'm so tired, i'm so lonley" She said.
"Come back to me." She whispered, she barley heard herself. As she sat there, she couldn't help imagining what it would be like if he did hear her pleas, if, out of no where, he walked up to her on the beach and held her and told her he was there, and he was never leaving her alone again. That was a dream, and dreams are for fools, atleast that's what someone once told her. Maybe she was a fool, maybe she expected everything to work out for her. Was she niave to think that? She didn't know, but now a days she didn't know what she was, or who she was, or where she was. She was stuck in between the past and the present. Between two sepreate lives.
"The Past and the Present"
When she got home that same night, she started to think about that days events, she still felt good about what she did for the homeless man, she helped a man that couldn't help himself. A memory from a few months after her and Vaughn were together suddenly unburried itself. It was something she'd never seen, well, maybe, in the movies, but her life was far from the movies. Some of the saddest movie endings were nothing compaired to her life, it was true, she'd lost three men she loved. One she told the truth too, the other was an assassian that just suddenly reappered in her life, and her most recent was just taken from her, becasue...well she didn't why. But when she thought that Vaughn couldn't amaze her anymore, he did. It was a small situation, nothing dangerous about it. It showed her that there were still people that cared, still people that paid attention to the rest of the world and not just themselves. They were walking in the mall on a saturday morning, minding their own business, just walking and talking about the movie they were going to see that night, they were interupted by a short chinesse woman, cute really, maybe 40 or 50. She was in a panic, she told them her son had gotten away from her while she was standing in line and she couldn't find him. She pulled out a picture and asked them if they had seen her boy. Sydney looked at Vaughn as he studied it. He had told her no. She thanked them and started walking off, then Vaughn asked what his name was. The woman stopped and turned around, telling him Christopher. Vaughn offered to help, and when he had volunterred, Sydney had just stared at him. Could the man be any more compassionate? Seriously. She was starting to think Vaughn wasn't human, since she met him, she can't remember one time that he acted selfish, not once. She wondered if he ever even thought about himself. It puzzled her. So much so, that she had watched him sleep that night, just watching him for hours. She didn't understand, and maybe she never would.
Sydney sat on her couch, a beer bottle sitting in front of her, half-full and half-empty. With her legs pulled up to her chest she thought, she thought hard, remembering all the times that he had done little things to help her. Vaughn would take a bullet for her, no doubt, he's the one that said it in the first place. He'd die for her, he'd live for her, and he'd always love her. What they shared was beyond the physical attraction, it was pure emotional, they knew what eachother was going to say before they said it, well most of the time. She wasn't exaclty expecting him to say "I love you" when he did, not that it was a bad thing. That's the one surpirse she didn't hate. What made her feel guilty is that she didn't say it back to him right away. It was actually a few days later, she knew that he knew, but it just feels better saying it, making sure that the other person really does know what you're feeling. They were lying in bed at night, completely in the dark, she didn't know if he was asleep or not, but she said it anyway.
-Flashback-
"I love you." Sydney said through the dark air around them. She heard his breathing stop for a second. Then she heard him move and then the lamp on the nightstand radiated light. He turned over and looked at her.
"What?" He asked.
-End Flashback-
He had heard her, he was just surprised, she had surpirsed him just as he did her, and the look on his face was priceless, the look on his face was perminetly etteched into her mind, her memory, and her heart forever. Then again, for them, forever isn't long enough.
-November 27th, 2003-
After having Thanksgiving dinner with her father and her two best friends Sydney had retreated to her room for a bit while her father and Will awkwardly watched the football game together, and it was awkward, both men sitting on the couch silent, she didn't think Will was really sure of what to say, so he just kept quite, which was a good choice. She went to her dresser drawer and opened the third compartment. She took out Vaughn's black long-sleeved shirt that she had bought him one day while shopping, it was a very domestic experiance for her, one she had missed. She carried it over to the bed and sat down. If someone walked in on her they might have thought she was crazy. Crazy because she kept her dead boyfriends clothes 7 months after he died. Crazy because some nights when she missed him she would take a shirt of his and breath in his scent, as if afraid to forget it. Crazy, people may think she is, but they don't know half of it. Why doesn't someone take away the person they love the most and see how they deal. Then they'd know what it was like. The lonliness and the darkness that comsumes you. It's in every aspect of your life, you can't erase it. Sydney slipped on the shirt over her blouse and smooted it down. The sleeves were too long but she liked it that way, it added to the comfort. She slipped on her sandles and picked up her keys. She walked out in the living room to see Will and her father still watching the game. Will tried to make conversation, but failed miserabley. Sydney looked into the kitchen at Francie, who was washing dishes. Francie looked at her.
"Hey girl, where you going?" Francie asked as she scrubbed the pot.
"Just for a drive." She said. Francie nodded, she knew her friend better than that. Sydney started to walk away. Then in a soft voice, one that only Sydney could have heard, she said,
"Tell him i said happy birthday." Francie said. Sydney froze for a second. Tears immeidiatley springing to her eyes, but she willed them away.
"I'll be back." Sydney said. She didn't turn around, not once. She just walked out the door, no more words spoken. She jumped in her car, she didn't even know where she was going, but she ended up at the beach, the same one where she stood 7 months ago with the six other men beside her, not including the preist. At first she just watched the waves through her windsheild but she finally got enough strength in her to get out of the car, throwing her sandles on the passenger seat, she closed the door and walked barefoot into the soft brown sand. She went to the exact spot that she had stood the day of his funeral, and she looked out over the salty Pacific water. The sun was setting, the sky was illuminated with warm colors including purple, pink, orange and yellow, they all seemed to mix together to create the perfect sky before sunset. The only thing heard was the waves crahsing onto the the rocks. The ocean brezze pushing her hair out of her face. She sat down and began to talk.
"Hi." She said softly.
"Just got done eating Thanksgiving dinner, i thought i'd drop by. It's your birthday today." She said. She smiled slighty for a minute. But the smile soon turned into a frown as she tried to hold her tears back, she sobbed.
"Vaughn, i miss you so much." She said.
"Please come back to me, i can't live like this anymore." She said. She pulled her knees up to her chest.
"Everything...everything is so hard now, i feel so empty, i'm so tired, i'm so lonley" She said.
"Come back to me." She whispered, she barley heard herself. As she sat there, she couldn't help imagining what it would be like if he did hear her pleas, if, out of no where, he walked up to her on the beach and held her and told her he was there, and he was never leaving her alone again. That was a dream, and dreams are for fools, atleast that's what someone once told her. Maybe she was a fool, maybe she expected everything to work out for her. Was she niave to think that? She didn't know, but now a days she didn't know what she was, or who she was, or where she was. She was stuck in between the past and the present. Between two sepreate lives.