Poker Face
Snape Stormed around his office, slamming books on shelves and ruffling papers on his desk. He was not use to his students standing up to him. Maybe I'm getting too soft... He thought to himself. Finally sitting down at his desk, he looked to the notebook. It was muggle style, black and white speckled. Curiosity getting the better of him, he started to flip through it, finding that page after page was filled with words. Some sort of journal... But journaling is a muggle thing! Only a very few witches/wizards wrote in journals. With caution (remembering the Tom Riddle disaster) he turned back to the front few pages and started to read to himself
10:27pm Friday, December 16
Today has been very hard. It all started in transfiguration. Hermione G. (the smart mouth who hangs around Potter) of course finished just a few moment before I did, but of course McGonagall either pretended not to see me, or really just didn't. Some times it is a blessing to be able to blend in so well, but sometimes it's just hurtful. I spent the rest of the hour working on a new poem I thought of yesterday in DADA. We were covering counter-curses (AGAIN!) so I didn't think I needed to pay that close of attention, after all: I've seen more then my share of the dark arts, I think I know how to handle them more then anyone in that room!
Lunch, and then Double Potions- and I was actually looking forward to it. Believe it or not, I think Snape is one of the best teachers here at Hogwarts. Unfortunately, as I was walking down to the Great Hall, I saw Hannah Abbot bawling her eyes out in a corner, almost out of sight. I quickly ushered her into my private quarters, which luckily, weren't far away. After sitting her down with a cup of tea, I gently asked her how her family was. I knew from past visits that she and her mother were like oil and water, and Hannah felt terrible because of it. After about 10-15 minutes of talking, I found out that all crying was only about not getting an owl from her boyfriend, who goes to another school. Usually I have more patience, but I was already on a short lease from transfiguration. I almost yelled at her!! How am I going to face the Dark Side with that temper? I MUST get better control of myself. Sometimes I wish I had been placed in Slytherin, it would have been easier to learn to lie and such, but then again...1 Peter 2:19-23
It is a gracious thing, when, mindful of God
One endures sorrows,
While suffering unjustly-
For what credit is it if,
When you sin and are beaten for it,
You endure?
But if when you do good and suffer for it you endure,
This is a gracious thing in the sight of God.
I found that passage last night while praying. Another reason I am grateful for my private rooms. It is hard to be a Christian in this world. The other witches don't believe in Christ, and the Christians think wizardry is sinful. Why can't everyone see that magic may just be another form of the Holy Spirit? This is an argument that will never end, so I will stop writing about it.
Anyway- I sent Hannah away to lunch lit some candles to south my nerves. I didn't bother to eat lunch- I weighed myself just yesterday: a whole 112 pounds. I MUST get back down to a hundred. I'm such a slob!
After lunch, I headed down to the dungeons, my mood lifting. I've always really like potions, although I like all my subjects. I don't think others noticed, but since the war ended, I have been able to tell a difference in Snape. He is still the "overgrown bat" that the others call him, but he seems more at ease, if it's possible. Maybe I have been seeing things. We were working on a really complicated potion, and I actually made it right! YAY for me, of course, no one ever noticed. Oh well- nothing I shouldn't expect, right?
I've been looking for a potion that removes scars. Its terribly hot in the castle with all the fires lit, and the long-sleeved robes are really heavy. I'll research more after winter holiday, which happens to be in a couple days...darn. I don't want to leave Hogwarts!
Well- this entry has been long enough!
Snape thought about what he read, slightly troubled. Did Jasmine have an eating disorder? No- who could have an EDO with the food the house elves cook? He turned a couple pages, seeing that she did not write over the winter break. He started reading the next entry, glancing at the clock to make sure he still had time before she came for her detention.
3:12am Sunday, January 3
I am so glad to be back at Hogwarts. Just a few days with my family can remind me of everything I hate about them. Mother forgot to take her "happy pills" and was slapping me every other minute for something or other- I'm sure my face is swollen. Lucky for me, Father was not there- he got arrested for DWI the day before Christmas, and mother let him stay in jail. When he got out for New Years, I stayed over at Aunt Sara's; she knows what he is like. On the first, knowing that he would be pasted out beyond any awakening, I went back and finished packing up all my stuff (there wasn't much). Aunt Sara is trying to get custody of me, but the courts won't let her. That doesn't mean that I can't live at her house, does it?
I finally reached my weight goal-100. YAY for me!!!
As much as I love Hogwarts, I miss my youth group so much! I went to the Christmas service and said hey to all my old friends...gosh I miss them.
An abusive family? What is going on in this girl's life? Snape look again to the clock- the detention wasn't for half an hour still. He read entry after entry, some times skipping around, reading the various poems that were spread throughout the notebook. The further he read, the more concerned he became. She keeps writing about facing the Dark Side- is she working with the Death Eaters? What made him more troubled were the poems. They hinted at self-harm, and even some of them were close to suicide notes. Almost every entry she wrote about helping some poor student past some affliction. Snape, partially disgusted at what her peers get upset over, debated at which was the best way to confront Jasmine about her family....
Jasmine, leaving the potion classroom, ran up to her quarters. After making sure that the portrait was shut all the way- she let out a piercing scream, then suddenly stopped. Not because she was worried that someone might hear her- she had a silencing charm so people wouldn't try to eavesdrop on other students, but because she realized that she was not in control of her self. ERG! I CANNOT LET HIM GET TO ME!! I CANNOT LET ANYONE GET TO ME LIKE THAT!!! Jasmine- you MUST get control of yourself! This had been a hard week for Jasmine- Her homework was piling up, and more and more kids were coming in with problems that were just childish. She checked her watch- 5:00. Everyone was at dinner. She placed another privacy charm on her quarters, just to make sure no one disturbed her. Feeling full of anxiety, and extremely depressed, she lit some candles, trying to get her nerves under control. What was upsetting her was more then just her peers and Snape: it was more then that. A few months ago, she discovered she had new powers. One day, while reading a book, she realized that she couldn't find her bookmark. On a whim, she willed a napkin to transfigure into one....and when it did, well, she was certainly surprised. Over the last few weeks, she had taught herself to do some simple spells and charms without her wand. What really scared her was that sometimes she did things, without meaning to. A day before, she had almost been found out. In Professor Trelawney's class, she had levitated a crystal ball across the room. Lucky for her no one saw, but if they had....
She sat down at her desk, and pulled out a piece of paper and pencil. She didn't have to wait long for the words to start spilling out of her....
No Big Deal
A little cut
It's no big deal
All I want to do
Is feel.
The sharp cold blade
The line of red
I know I've felt
When I have bled
It's no big deal
It doesn't hurt
Tomorrow I'll just wear
A long sleeved shirt.
She paused after the last line. With her eyes closed, she took several deep breaths. When she opened her eyes again, she saw that she had accidentally transfigured the pencil into a blade. Immediately she dropped it, pushing back her chair so hard she ended up falling over. She, in a hysterical sobs, crawled over to the rug, where she just sat a cried. Jasmine- get a hold of yourself! You are stronger then this! You cannot let yourself fall in to that cycle again! Cutting doesn't solve any problems! She tried to calm herself, and with some struggle, lifted herself off the floor and into the bathroom. She washed off her face and cast a charm on herself to tidy up her robes. With a quick peek at her watch, rushed off to the Great Hall to grab a bit before heading to the dungeons.
As she approached the classroom door, she slowed her pace and made her face blank. She wasn't going to let Snape win this battle....
Snape Stormed around his office, slamming books on shelves and ruffling papers on his desk. He was not use to his students standing up to him. Maybe I'm getting too soft... He thought to himself. Finally sitting down at his desk, he looked to the notebook. It was muggle style, black and white speckled. Curiosity getting the better of him, he started to flip through it, finding that page after page was filled with words. Some sort of journal... But journaling is a muggle thing! Only a very few witches/wizards wrote in journals. With caution (remembering the Tom Riddle disaster) he turned back to the front few pages and started to read to himself
10:27pm Friday, December 16
Today has been very hard. It all started in transfiguration. Hermione G. (the smart mouth who hangs around Potter) of course finished just a few moment before I did, but of course McGonagall either pretended not to see me, or really just didn't. Some times it is a blessing to be able to blend in so well, but sometimes it's just hurtful. I spent the rest of the hour working on a new poem I thought of yesterday in DADA. We were covering counter-curses (AGAIN!) so I didn't think I needed to pay that close of attention, after all: I've seen more then my share of the dark arts, I think I know how to handle them more then anyone in that room!
Lunch, and then Double Potions- and I was actually looking forward to it. Believe it or not, I think Snape is one of the best teachers here at Hogwarts. Unfortunately, as I was walking down to the Great Hall, I saw Hannah Abbot bawling her eyes out in a corner, almost out of sight. I quickly ushered her into my private quarters, which luckily, weren't far away. After sitting her down with a cup of tea, I gently asked her how her family was. I knew from past visits that she and her mother were like oil and water, and Hannah felt terrible because of it. After about 10-15 minutes of talking, I found out that all crying was only about not getting an owl from her boyfriend, who goes to another school. Usually I have more patience, but I was already on a short lease from transfiguration. I almost yelled at her!! How am I going to face the Dark Side with that temper? I MUST get better control of myself. Sometimes I wish I had been placed in Slytherin, it would have been easier to learn to lie and such, but then again...1 Peter 2:19-23
It is a gracious thing, when, mindful of God
One endures sorrows,
While suffering unjustly-
For what credit is it if,
When you sin and are beaten for it,
You endure?
But if when you do good and suffer for it you endure,
This is a gracious thing in the sight of God.
I found that passage last night while praying. Another reason I am grateful for my private rooms. It is hard to be a Christian in this world. The other witches don't believe in Christ, and the Christians think wizardry is sinful. Why can't everyone see that magic may just be another form of the Holy Spirit? This is an argument that will never end, so I will stop writing about it.
Anyway- I sent Hannah away to lunch lit some candles to south my nerves. I didn't bother to eat lunch- I weighed myself just yesterday: a whole 112 pounds. I MUST get back down to a hundred. I'm such a slob!
After lunch, I headed down to the dungeons, my mood lifting. I've always really like potions, although I like all my subjects. I don't think others noticed, but since the war ended, I have been able to tell a difference in Snape. He is still the "overgrown bat" that the others call him, but he seems more at ease, if it's possible. Maybe I have been seeing things. We were working on a really complicated potion, and I actually made it right! YAY for me, of course, no one ever noticed. Oh well- nothing I shouldn't expect, right?
I've been looking for a potion that removes scars. Its terribly hot in the castle with all the fires lit, and the long-sleeved robes are really heavy. I'll research more after winter holiday, which happens to be in a couple days...darn. I don't want to leave Hogwarts!
Well- this entry has been long enough!
Snape thought about what he read, slightly troubled. Did Jasmine have an eating disorder? No- who could have an EDO with the food the house elves cook? He turned a couple pages, seeing that she did not write over the winter break. He started reading the next entry, glancing at the clock to make sure he still had time before she came for her detention.
3:12am Sunday, January 3
I am so glad to be back at Hogwarts. Just a few days with my family can remind me of everything I hate about them. Mother forgot to take her "happy pills" and was slapping me every other minute for something or other- I'm sure my face is swollen. Lucky for me, Father was not there- he got arrested for DWI the day before Christmas, and mother let him stay in jail. When he got out for New Years, I stayed over at Aunt Sara's; she knows what he is like. On the first, knowing that he would be pasted out beyond any awakening, I went back and finished packing up all my stuff (there wasn't much). Aunt Sara is trying to get custody of me, but the courts won't let her. That doesn't mean that I can't live at her house, does it?
I finally reached my weight goal-100. YAY for me!!!
As much as I love Hogwarts, I miss my youth group so much! I went to the Christmas service and said hey to all my old friends...gosh I miss them.
An abusive family? What is going on in this girl's life? Snape look again to the clock- the detention wasn't for half an hour still. He read entry after entry, some times skipping around, reading the various poems that were spread throughout the notebook. The further he read, the more concerned he became. She keeps writing about facing the Dark Side- is she working with the Death Eaters? What made him more troubled were the poems. They hinted at self-harm, and even some of them were close to suicide notes. Almost every entry she wrote about helping some poor student past some affliction. Snape, partially disgusted at what her peers get upset over, debated at which was the best way to confront Jasmine about her family....
Jasmine, leaving the potion classroom, ran up to her quarters. After making sure that the portrait was shut all the way- she let out a piercing scream, then suddenly stopped. Not because she was worried that someone might hear her- she had a silencing charm so people wouldn't try to eavesdrop on other students, but because she realized that she was not in control of her self. ERG! I CANNOT LET HIM GET TO ME!! I CANNOT LET ANYONE GET TO ME LIKE THAT!!! Jasmine- you MUST get control of yourself! This had been a hard week for Jasmine- Her homework was piling up, and more and more kids were coming in with problems that were just childish. She checked her watch- 5:00. Everyone was at dinner. She placed another privacy charm on her quarters, just to make sure no one disturbed her. Feeling full of anxiety, and extremely depressed, she lit some candles, trying to get her nerves under control. What was upsetting her was more then just her peers and Snape: it was more then that. A few months ago, she discovered she had new powers. One day, while reading a book, she realized that she couldn't find her bookmark. On a whim, she willed a napkin to transfigure into one....and when it did, well, she was certainly surprised. Over the last few weeks, she had taught herself to do some simple spells and charms without her wand. What really scared her was that sometimes she did things, without meaning to. A day before, she had almost been found out. In Professor Trelawney's class, she had levitated a crystal ball across the room. Lucky for her no one saw, but if they had....
She sat down at her desk, and pulled out a piece of paper and pencil. She didn't have to wait long for the words to start spilling out of her....
No Big Deal
A little cut
It's no big deal
All I want to do
Is feel.
The sharp cold blade
The line of red
I know I've felt
When I have bled
It's no big deal
It doesn't hurt
Tomorrow I'll just wear
A long sleeved shirt.
She paused after the last line. With her eyes closed, she took several deep breaths. When she opened her eyes again, she saw that she had accidentally transfigured the pencil into a blade. Immediately she dropped it, pushing back her chair so hard she ended up falling over. She, in a hysterical sobs, crawled over to the rug, where she just sat a cried. Jasmine- get a hold of yourself! You are stronger then this! You cannot let yourself fall in to that cycle again! Cutting doesn't solve any problems! She tried to calm herself, and with some struggle, lifted herself off the floor and into the bathroom. She washed off her face and cast a charm on herself to tidy up her robes. With a quick peek at her watch, rushed off to the Great Hall to grab a bit before heading to the dungeons.
As she approached the classroom door, she slowed her pace and made her face blank. She wasn't going to let Snape win this battle....