A/N: You guys are so good to me! Thank you all for the great reviews and wonderful feedback I've been getting. It really means so much to me and cleared any doubts about posting this story out of my head.
tars: Don't worry; everything will turn out okay in the end, I promise.
katherine Cunningham: You'll just have to wait and see whether or not Sam goes with Luka. ;)
NaomiP: I appreciate your reviews and feedback so much! I just wanted to let you know that when I wrote the last chapter, I did mean to put three months instead of four months, but it was late, and I somehow made a mistake of just judging it by calendar weeks instead of the LMP. As for the previous chapter where Sam fell, I wasn't hinting at a miscarriage at all. I just sort of wanted to have the fatherly instinct take over Luka there for a second and have him a little bit concerned about her fall, even though it was only minor. Thanks again for the reviews, they're always great to read.
Destiny-TwoP: *cringes* I'm sorry that Luka has to leave! But I'm glad you think my story is great! I love yours too.
dupton: I am updating again, so does this mean you have to review my next chapter? Hehe.
And a big shout out to everyone else who reviewed lately: imagine6, skktjj, Coffee Luv and MORT, hoeft, Kate, and everyone who has reviewed the previous chapters.
xo; Mari
* * * *
May 15thSam opened the door to Alex's bedroom and stuck her head in. It was amazing that she hadn't stepped on or tripped over anything now—but most of his things were packed up in three large boxes waiting to be taken over to Luka's. Alex's bed, television, playstation, spring clothes and lamp were pretty much the only things unpacked. Sam's apartment was looking pretty empty these days. Whenever she happened to get a spare minute, she packed something else or taped up a new box.
"Alex." Sam called out his name softly, and was only greeted with a sleepily grunt before Alex rolled over onto his stomach. She walked over to him and stole the pillow off of his face.
"What?" Alex asked, yawning and opening his eyes.
"Did you want to come with me to the airport?"
"What time is it?"
"A little after eight."
"No." Alex rolled back over and Sam tossed the pillow onto his head. "Hey, cut that out Mom."
"Let's try to be in a better mood before grandma gets here, okay?"
"Whatever. Is Luka going?"
"No, he's sleeping. He got home around six."
"Okay."
Sam shut his bedroom door and continued down the hall. She walked into her own bedroom and smiled. Luka was sprawled out underneath the sheets and appeared to be sleeping soundly. Sam wished that she could crawl back into bed with him, but her mother's flight was coming in around ten and she needed to get to the airport.
Slipping on her sneakers, she searched the room for Luka's car keys and found them on the side of her dresser, next to his wallet.
"Where are you going?"
Sam looked over to see Luka sitting up in her bed groggily. "Going to pick up my mother at the airport."
"Oh yeah. Right. I forgot it was Saturday. You want me to come with you?"
Sam smiled and shook her head. "It's just the airport. I think I can handle it."
"Okay. Just be careful driving."
"I will." She kneeled on the side of the bed and gave Luka a quick kiss, pulling away soon enough so they wouldn't get carried away like they usually did.
"Alex still asleep?"
"Yeah. He's a little grumpy this morning, so watch out."
Luka grinned and nodded before laying back down. "I'll get him breakfast when he gets up."
"Don't let him wake you up…" Sam felt bad. Luka had worked the night before and hadn't gotten home until almost six in the morning. He needed some sleep—not to spend the morning getting breakfast for her son. "You don't have to."
"I need to eat to."
"You need to sleep."
"I'll manage. Be careful."
Sam smiled and headed for the hall. "You said that already."
But Luka hadn't answered her, and had halfway fallen asleep again. Sam planted a gentle kiss on his forehead and headed for the front door, where she quickly made her way to the parking garage.
She hated driving around Chicago—let alone in Luka's week old brand new SUV. He had traded in his Lexus for a black SUV, the brand of which she couldn't remember right now. Maybe it was a manly thing, since most of the male doctors at County drove them, but it didn't appeal to Sam as she nervously approached it. She hadn't had a car of her own in over a year, and hadn't driven much since then.
Most of her fears were calmed once she disabled the alarm of the SUV and got into the driver's seat, and after adjusting the mirrors, everything came back to her naturally. She backed out of the parking space, and quickly sped off towards the airport.
* * * *
Sam waited at the security checkpoint and glanced at the arrivals and departures screen impatiently. According to the line up, her mother's flight had landed at O'Hare about twenty minutes ago from Newark. She wasn't nervous—Sam just strongly disliked airports. She was a terrible flier, ever since she was a child, and anything and everything made her a little leery.
Okay, so who was she kidding exactly? She was nervous. Sam hadn't seen her mother in almost two years, and wasn't entirely sure what to expect. They hadn't really left on good terms the last time. They had gotten into a huge argument over her mother's current boyfriend, Bruce, at Alex's seventh birthday party. Sam didn't like the sixty year old advertising executive from the start, just because she believed he was an arrogant asshole by the way he had taken to snubbing everyone, including Sam, just because he had found out that Sam had given birth to Alex at sixteen. From there, things had just gotten out of hand, and Alex's birthday party had almost been ruined because of it. A year went by, and Sam had received an invitation to her mother and Bruce's wedding, but Sam declined to attend because she was in the process of moving from New York City to Memphis.
Sam sighed and crossed her arms over her chest. Just thinking about her mother now brought back a lot of bad memories from her past—some things that she just didn't want to relive right now. Her mother's second marriage only reminded Sam of her father, Michael, who had divorced her mother when Sam was only eight years old. He had moved to Seattle and remarried when she was ten, but Sam hadn't heard much from him over the years. He had only seen Alex once, and that was at her high school graduation. Alex had been only ten months old. Shortly after her twentieth birthday, Michael Taggart died of a heart attack.
"Sammy!"
Sam spun around and waved. A tall, slim woman of forty-eight, Lynne Brampton smiled and waved at her only daughter, tucking a strand of her medium length blonde hair behind her ear. She adjusted the single carry on bag over her shoulder and passed through the crowd of people, embracing Sam in a tight hug.
"You look great!" she exclaimed. "How are you?"
Sam smiled. "I'm good. How was the flight?"
"Decent. Crowded, even in first class. I have a few drinks in me, so I think it's safe to say I'm up for anything right now." Lynne squeezed her daughter's hand as they passed through the airport and headed straight for the parking deck. There was no need to make a trip to baggage claim, seeing as Lynne had packed most of her things in the duffel bag she was carrying with her. "I can't get over how great you look honey."
"Thanks."
"Did you drive here? I thought you didn't have a car?"
"I don't. I borrowed my boyfr—Luka's."
Lynne eyed Sam curiously. "Luka? As in your boyfriend, Luka? Alex said something to me on the phone about a Luka."
"Oh. Yeah."
"That's wonderful! So who is this Luka? Tell me all about him? How long have you been together? Is he good looking? What does he do? Do you two live together?"
Sam laughed. "Calm down, Mom. Let's just get to the car first."
They reached Luka's SUV within minutes, and Sam unlocked the doors, much to Lynne's amusement. "So this Luka then, I'm assuming he's pretty well off from the looks of his car. What does he do?"
Sam started the engine and backed out of the parking spot. "He's a doctor. Actually, he's an attending at County General, which is where I work. He works in the ER, and that's pretty much how we met. Alex actually was friends with him before I was," she laughed.
"That sounds like my grandson. Still looking out for his Mom and trying to set her up on dates."
"Please, he's only be doing it since he was like six years old."
"So tell me more about him," Lynne insisted as they drove along. "How old is he?"
"He'll be thirty-seven in September."
"Thirty-seven?" Lynne laughed. "Sam, he's almost twelve years older than you!"
"So what? He makes me happy, and he loves Alex. You should see them together. They get along great."
Lynne sighed and stared out the window. "I still think that's a little too old for you. How long have you been together?"
"We've been on and off for awhile. And don't lecture me on how my boyfriend's too old for me, when your own husband is twelve years older than you," Sam replied through gritted teeth. It hadn't even been a full twenty minutes since her mother had gotten off the plane, and already she was starting to become annoying.
"Never mind about your step father. Has Luka been married before?"
"No, he hasn't," Sam told her. "Why are you making this such a big deal?"
"I'm not, sweetheart. I just, I want to know more about this man who you finally have decided to settle down with. It's not every day I get to meet a boyfriend of yours. Luka, that sounds like a foreign name. Where is he from?"
"He's Croatian."
"Really? That's somewhere near Romania, right?"
"Try right next door to Hungary, Mom."
"Oh, your grandmother would love that! You know, it was just the other day she was asking about you…"
Sam sighed, only half listening. Her mother would rattle on for the rest of the drive, and Sam had no choice but to listen to her. Somehow, as horrible as it sounded, she was glad that Lynne was only staying for three days—in a hotel.
* * * *
Sam unlocked her apartment door. "Hopefully Alex and Luka still aren't sleeping."
"So you two have been sleeping together?"
"Mom!" Sam rolled her eyes and placed Luka's car keys on the table. "God."
"I'm just worried about you, honey," Lynne laughed.
There were footsteps through the kitchen, and then Alex appeared in the living room. "Grandma! Hey!" He ran towards Lynne and she hugged him tightly.
"You've gotten so big! You make me feel old."
"You're not old, Grandma." Alex rolled his eyes and grinned at Sam, who smiled back.
"Hey Alex, where's Luka?"
"He got paged by the ER. There was a huge accident, or something. Something that started with an M."
"MVA?" Sam corrected him. She let out a long sigh and sat down on the couch. The truth was, she was disappointed. She had wanted Luka to be here, to meet her mother, to have lunch.
"Hey Mom, I'm hungry. What's for lunch?"
"I'll take care of it, sweetie. I'm sure your Mom has some deli meat lying around here somewhere."
"Cool." Alex took off for the kitchen, but Lynne held Sam back from following.
"I wanted to give this to you. It's sort of an early birthday present. Come over here and open it."
Sam took the wrapped cardboard box from Lynne's hands and opened it carefully, piling the paper onto the couch cushion next to her. "Do I get a hint or something?"
"Just open it," Lynne encouraged.
"Okay." Sam pulled a large sized photo album out of the box. The red satin cover had her full name, Samantha Marie Taggart, scripted onto it in black calligraphy. Sam opened it, and thumbed through the pages. It was a memory book of sorts—ranging from the day Sam had been born, through her early childhood, and teenage years. There were pictures of her and Steve before she had gotten pregnant, and then pictures of Sam when she was pregnant with Alex. It chronicled almost every year of Sam's life—and later on, Alex's. The last page held the most recent pictures of Sam and Alex that Lynne could get her hands on.
"It took me almost six months to put that whole thing together. What do you think?"
"I don't—wow. I don't know what to say. Thanks," Sam replied. "I'm sure Alex will appreciate it too."
"But what do you really think of it?"
Sam sighed. She didn't know how to tell her mother what she was about to without insulting her. "It's just that there were a lot of not so great memories over those years, Mom."
"I know, sweetheart. That's why I tried to put together all the good memories for you to hold onto and cherish. I thought that you'd appreciate that."
"I do appreciate it. Thank you." Sam nodded and set the album on the coffee table. "So um, I think Alex is getting hungry in there."
"Oh. Right," Lynne agreed. "Well, I don't want to keep him waiting. How does soup and sandwiches sound?"
"Sounds great," Sam agreed.
The photo album still remained behind on the coffee table, and before heading into the kitchen, Sam stole a final glance back at it. She was afraid that if she opened it one more time, her past would hurl itself at her full force and suffocate her. At least, that's what it felt like at the current moment.
"Sam, what kind of sandwich do you want?"
* * * *
8:30 PM
Sam didn't think she had ever cried so hard since god, she couldn't even remember. And it was all because of some stupid little memory book filled with pictures and sentences that her mother had written in, reminding Sam of things she had long wanted to forget. Things that she had convinced herself she had gotten over a long time ago.
It had started storming around seven—wind just at first, then a little bit of rain and some hail. Then it had started thundering around eight, and Sam stretched out on her bed motionless, just listening to the rain pelt her apartment noisily and the wind whip at the screens of her windows. Her hand rested softly on her abdomen in the dim bedroom, almost as if she was planning on protecting her and Luka's baby from any of the pain she was going through at the current moment.
Sam had dropped Lynne off at her hotel room around four thirty. Lynne promised to phone ahead and take them all—Luka included, out to dinner tomorrow night, as she was planning on seeing Sam's great aunt Agnes earlier in the day. It was fine with Sam, and she could tell how eager her mother was to meet Luka. It didn't bother her. She'd have to meet him sooner or later.
Luka had called Sam around five and left a message on her machine, apologizing for just taking off and saying that he had gotten tied up in the ER; that Kerry wouldn't let him go home until Chen and Carter came on for their shifts. He had left a second message around six, wondering where she was and if she was okay. By that time, Sam was lying on the couch, staring at the album. She didn't pick up. The third message was left at seven thirty. He wanted to know if again, she was okay, and if the power had gone out at her apartment because of the storm. He also told her that he'd be leaving County around eight. Sam had moved into her bedroom once she checked on Alex, who was playing video games.
Sam didn't know what was going on with her. She didn't think seeing pictures of supposedly happy times would upset her so much, but again—she was tired, stressed out, and her hormones were crazy right now. In reality, it had been a long time she since she faced up to her past, and to put it in terms Alex would use, it sucked.
The album had long been shut and pushed to the side of her double bed, but the tissues remained scattered around her, including the one Sam was still clutching in her hand. She was feeling insecure and doubting herself, her relationship with Luka, the baby, and more importantly, her parenting skills towards Alex.
She wiped at her eyes and half sat up, making an attempt to collect the tissues and toss them in the trash.
"Mom?"
Sam glanced over at the doorway and saw Alex's concerned face staring back at her. "Hey buddy. What's up?"
"What's wrong?" He walked in and closed her bedroom door behind him as a loud thunderclap shook the building and dimmed the one small lamp she had on. They were quickly plunged into darkness, and Sam saw Alex jump a little bit.
She patted the space next to her and Alex crawled onto the bed, stretching out onto his stomach and stealing one of the pillows to rest his chin on. "I'm just thinking."
"That's crap. You're crying. Normal people don't cry when they think," Alex pointed out like a true smart ass.
"Hey, in case you haven't noticed, I'm not the most normal mother around here," Sam laughed, holding back a sniffle.
"I think you're a great mom."
Sam smiled and ruffled Alex's dirty blonde hair. "Really? Thanks."
"Yeah. You're the coolest mom around. All my friends say so. I get away with everything with you."
"Not everything," she pointed out. "But close enough."
"But seriously, Mikey's mom doesn't play Tony Hawk with him like you do. She won't pick him up from school if he's faking sick and take him to work with her like you took me to the ER that day. That was so cool. You're cool, Mom."
Sam smiled and gave Alex a wet kiss on the cheek, which he quickly wiped away, laughing.
"Yuck Mom, save that for Luka!"
"Hey!" Sam giggled. She rolled over onto her stomach and stretched out next to him.
"Jake's mom told him that you should have waited longer to have me, and that you should have been married."
"Just because I had you when I was sixteen, doesn't mean I don't love you or can't take care of you just like Jake's mom can. Plus, I think she needs to mind her own business and lay off the McDonald's before summer rolls around if she wants to get those perfect tan lines that she brags about."
This had Alex rolling in laughter. "That's a good one."
"Yeah, I guess it was. Hey, I uhm, I have something I've been meaning to tell you. It's kind of a big deal, so don't say anything to grandma yet, okay?"
"Deal." Alex rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling. "Spill."
Luka paused, his hand on Sam's bedroom door. He had just literally run in the door, soaking wet, with his clothes and hair plastered to his forehead. He had been about to go in and say hello and let them know he was back finally, but Luka had a feeling that whatever Sam was about to tell Alex, it involved their baby. Even though he felt a little uneasy about eavesdropping, it was better than breaking up the moment that Sam and Alex were about to share.
"Well uh, I don't really know how to tell you this…but in about eight months you're going to be a big brother."
Alex sat up and stared at her. "You're having a baby?"
Sam nodded. "Yeah."
"So is that why we're moving in with Luka?"
"No, that's not the whole reason. I'm moving in with Luka…because—" Sam hesitated to get the right words out. "Because I love him, too."
Luka smiled at this, resting his head against the doorway.
Alex made a face. "That's mushy."
"What, I thought you liked details about people's personal lives?" she laughed.
"I do. But you and Luka—Mom, I don't even want to think about that!"
"Okay, I get it. So what, are you happy, sad, okay with this?"
"I think it's kind of…weird."
"What do you mean?"
"Like for so long it was just me and you. Always, all the time. Dad tried to come back a few times, but he never stayed. And then Luka came, and now there's gonna be a baby. I dunno. It's weird."
"Okay, I get what you're saying," Sam answered. "But just because there's going to be a new baby doesn't mean I won't have time for you anymore, got it? I'll always have Alex time, no matter what time it is."
"And that's separate from Luka time and the new baby time?"
"Always. And then there will be times when we'll all hang out together," she added. "So that would be…Sam, Alex, Luka, and the baby time."
By now Luka was trying not to laugh and give away his position outside the door, but he was finding the conversation they were having sweet and funny in a way.
"So…like family time?"
"Yeah," Sam nodded. "Exactly."
"Cool." Alex yawned and slowly crawled off the bed. "I think I'm gonna go to bed."
"Okay." Sam gave Alex a hug and smiled at him. "Night. You want me to come and tuck you in?"
"Nah. I've got it. Don't cry anymore Mom. I love you."
"I love you too."
Luka quickly ran back down the hall and into the living room before Alex came out of Sam's room. Why had Sam been crying? Had it been because of him—because he had run off to work? Or was she upset about his upcoming return to Africa?
When he was sure he had heard Alex's bedroom door close, Luka walked back down the hall and slowly opened Sam's bedroom door. She was now lying on her side with her arm draped over side.
"Hey," he greeted her softly. "I'm sorry I'm so late."
"It's okay." She smiled and sat up. "I missed you though."
"I missed you too." Luka sat down on the bed and wrapped his arms around Sam protectively, kissing her softly. "Everything go okay with your mom?"
"Yeah, I guess. She gave me that, which had me crying for the past two hours, and she's planning on taking us out to dinner or something tomorrow. I told her about you."
"And?"
"She was a little weird about the age difference."
"Oh." Luka's face fell and Sam shrugged.
"It's okay. I don't care. I'm happy with you, I love you, that's all that matters."
"That's good," Luka laughed. He glanced over at the photo album. "A lot of memories in there?"
"Yeah. It just brought some things back that I didn't really want to deal with."
"I know the feeling." He kicked off his shoes and quickly stripped off his shirt. "It's warm in here. How long has the power been out?"
"I don't know. I guess about fifteen or twenty minutes." Sam kissed Luka's bare shoulder. They then stretched out next to each other, and Sam rested up against him. "I told Alex about the baby."
"Yeah? How'd he take it?"
"Pretty well. I think he's excited."
"That's good." Luka grinned at her in the dark and rested his forehead against hers. "I uh, do you remember when I said…ah—" He stopped and Sam glanced up at him, bringing their fingers together. "When I said that I wanted to have a talk with you, about everything, about my past?"
"Yeah," Sam nodded in agreement.
"That's what the photo album reminded me of. I can't have you living with me, and us planning for this baby, and us maybe eventually settling down together, without telling you."
"Telling me what?"
"Sam, you have to promise that you'll listen. Listen until I've finished."
She nodded, nuzzling her cheek against Luka some more. "Okay."
"I don't want to put it off anymore. Like I said before, I've spent too much time wasting time. I want you to know."
Sam nodded her head for what seemed like the hundredth time that day and pulled the comforter over herself, snuggling up against Luka while his arm wrapped around her. His other hand was resting underneath the comforter, against her stomach, where her tee shirt had ridden up slightly.
"A long time ago, close to fourteen years ago now, I was once married and had two children."
At that moment, Sam's power came back on, and although the lamp remained off, her television turned on, the low volume of the news broadcast passing through the room.
"It seems as if this system of storms will be out of the surrounding area by midnight tonight, and tomorrow we're well on our way with clear skies and sunshine across Chicago…"
* * * *
Reviews are my motivation. =]
Just another slight A/N: You'll find out about Sam's cloudy past in the upcoming chapters, and remember, up until this point, Luka hadn't told her about his past. And yes, Luka will meet Sam's mother, Lynne, in the next chapter.