"Sometimes I wonder why we even bother."
The black car sped down the highway at amazing speeds, giving the occupants little chance to observe the scenery as they moved through the desert night. There were only two passengers inside. One was a middle aged white male who was balding slightly and was also driving. The other was a younger black man around his early thirties with much shorter hair and an earring. Both wore black three piece suits.
"Why's that slick?" the white man asked.
"K, I thought we were past you calling me slick, or sport, or tiger, or son here. I swear man, sometimes I wish you were still sorting mail and were potentially going to go up on a bell tower somewhere and blow somebody's head off." The black man sighed and then looked at the radio, "And why do you still listen to Elvis? Why can't we listen to something else? I mean something not fifty years old."
"Elvis is timeless and is pretty big among the Kree." Agent K said.
"Really?" his partner, Agent J asked somewhat surprised.
"No. Not really. I'd be surprised if they actually had music. They're really uptight. All work. No personality. You ever meet someone like that?" K asked.
"No. Never." J said looking directly at K.
"Now you were saying something, sport?"
"I just wonder why we even bother sometimes. I mean hell man, everybody and their grandma knows that guys like Superman or the Silver Surfer are aliens. Yet we still pull this cover-up conspiracy bullshit." J explained.
"No, everyone does NOT know that they are aliens. Not everyone would believe such a thing. We still have people on this planet who think the earth is flat. They're so closed minded that they think they're the only life in the universe and that Galactus was just a mutant with an overdeveloped pituitary gland. And God bless every one of them. It makes our job a lot easier. So what if a few high-profile metas claim to be aliens? Thor claims to be a god." K elaborated.
"Thor is a god though."
"Yeah, we both know that. But they don't. So God bless those few close minded morons out there that keep people who believe second guessing themselves and prevent the world from plunging into utter chaos when everyone and their sweet, little, old, grandma find out that aliens suddenly realizes that aliens have been visiting earth since before the pyramids were built."
"So aliens did build the pyramids…"
"No. The Egyptians built the pyramids."
J smirked, "It's good to have you back, man."
"Good to be back, slugger." K replied.
"So, why don't you go through "why the hell I get dragged all the way out west here where any minute I'm sure I'm going to see the Lone Ranger ride up beside us on Silver?'" J stated.
"A couple of nights ago Wekyaaah and Bob picked up a signal from the Watchtower. Our good friend J'onn was sending us his usual reports from his monitor duties. Seems an unauthorized ship entered the system and hung back around Uranus and do not laugh."
"About what? Uranus? Please." J said turning away and putting a hand over his mouth, "So what kind of ship was it?"
"J'onn wasn't sure so he went through our archives and he found it pretty quickly. It's a Predator." K explained.
"A Predator?" J asked.
"Not the species' real name of course. Human tongues have a hard time pronouncing the real name, so we just call them Predators. You know like we call Bugs….Bugs."
"And let me guess, it preys on humans? Eat us like a hotdog at Madison Square Garden?" J asked again.
"No, they do not eat humans. They hunt us. Or anything else that resembles and challenge. These guys are heavy into hunting, battle, and honor. They make Klingons look like hippies." K went on.
"So, what happened then?"
"Small shuttlecraft exited the larger ship and set a course for earth. The only problem was it had a cloak and disappeared off our screen which is why we're just now getting a bead on it. Lucky for us, it had a leaky proton exhaust system which is how we traced it."
"It'd still seem like a needle in a haystack to me. I mean how do you pick out one exhaust system like that on the whole planet?" J said.
"Because no one else on earth uses a proton exhaust system." K replied.
"Oh. So where we going? Texas?" J asked.
"California actually. More specifically a little 'burg about a hundred and twenty miles north of L.A. called Sunnydale. You ever hear of a Hellmouth?" K asked.
"Nope."
"Me either. That's just what the locals call it. We call it a Revolving Door: a place where Ley-line energies converge and the dimensional fabric of the area is slightly weaker allowing for aliens from other dimensions to visit earth."
"Aliens from other dimensions?"
"Or demons, whatever you want to call them. The point's moot. This place is the ideal hunting ground for a Predator because not only does it get to hunt humans but also "demons" and whatever else it can find." K went on.
"Okay, so we go and stop this Predator or Predators and tell them to get the hell off earth." J ran through his head.
"That is exactly right. Earth has been restricted territory from these hunts since we started the Men in Black in the nineteen sixties because we proved just intelligent enough to get a voice out there. But every now and then you'll hear about one of these things popping up in Central America, Gotham, or L.A. We're prime hunting grounds, slick, and the fact that metahumans and mutants started popping up more in the last twenty years just made their decision to come to earth a lot more one-sided." K said.
"Intergalactic poaching. Man this job just gets better and better. And then of course there's the fact that this guy might kill the wrong alien slash demon and start an inter-dimensional war." J said smugly.
"That too. You're getting better." K smirked.
"Well I had a good teacher." J smirked back.
"I'm going to cut you off right there before you say that Zed taught you everything you know." K said, looking over to his partner.
"How'd you know that was coming?"
"Just seemed like something you'd say, junior."
The Predator watched with fascination as the beings fought in the cemetery near his perch atop the tomb. It was hard to fathom at first. He had only picked up two heat signatures at first and had to switch his helmet screens several times over in order to get a better look at what was going on. Finally it made sense, the two heat signatures; both females and a male that had no signature were fighting three other creatures without signatures. It was probably just a glitch in his helmet's system. What was most puzzling is that the male and the two females seemed to be fighting their own kind. Perhaps their fellows that they fought had done something unforgivable that warranted their extermination? Perhaps they had saved their lives in battle?
"Got one coming at you Slayer!" the male said as he swung the one he fought to one of the females.
The female wielded some sort of weapon and struck the creature in the chest with it, making it disintegrate. Perhaps some sort of primitive tactile based disruptor? Yes, that was probably it.
"Got…one…cuh-ming at you…Slay-Er." The Predator mimicked the male creature's voice as it watched the one called….Slay-Er…fight another of the creatures.
She struck with ferocity and lots of speed. The Predator mused that from the way she fought and the regard that the other had given her, that she must be their chieftain. The creature she fought growled loudly and fought back, hammering her with punches and kicks that she only occasionally blocked. Then Slay-Er dropped and did a sweep kick on the creature knocking it to the ground. She tried to use her tactile disruptor again, but the creature moved and kicked her before leaping up.
The Predator leapt from its perch and ran forward a bit, all but invisible to them. The Predator watched as the other female seemed to channel some sort of energy into the creature in front of them making it likewise disintegrate. She had produced fire! Perhaps she wielded some sort of molecular manipulation device…or was one of the super-animals he had heard that lived on this backwater little world. The Predator cocked his head and stood a few feet from her watching. She seemed to look right at him. Her jaw dropped a little bit.
"Buffy….there's something else here!" she said.
The Predator didn't understand her words, but he could feel their meaning. Somehow she had spotted him. It wasn't unheard of, of course. The cloak wasn't perfect, but at night it was practically impossible to spot. Still, no sense in taking chances. The female flew back and crashed to the ground with authority when the plasma bolt hit her. A large hole had been burned through her chest. She was eliminated.
"Tara!" Slay-Er shouted, allowing the creature she fought to take advantage of the situation.
The male ran to the fallen female's side. Was she his mate?
"Glinda, can you hear me?" the male said.
That's when things got interesting. The female was not dead. She had a hole in her, yet she still lived. She was unable to reply due to…well her lungs were gone, but nonetheless the male looked around as if she had just told him something. A mind warper!
"Yeah. I just caught its scent. I'm having a hard time getting a bead on it. Wind's starting to shift. Point it out to me." The male said, looking about.
The Predator prepared to fire again when suddenly a small terran bird flew into its face, pecking and clawing. It missed its shot and wound up hitting one of the death markers in the burial ground, making it explode. The Predator couldn't understand why such unworthy prey would attack it like this. Still, it didn't care. It was after all, unworthy. A simple backhand sent the pathetic bird to the ground. That's when the male leapt upon him.
The male creature was strong, not doubt. It knocked the Predator to the ground, but then went flying as the Predator flipped it. After all, it had not reckoned with a foe with knowledge of the Sha'Khari fighting style. The male was up just as quickly as the Predator though and was looking around for his opponent. The Predator took this time to take proper aim and fire his plasma bolt.
The target moved to the side at the last instant. The Predator fired again and again, and each time the creature moved out of the way, sometimes seemingly praying to it's god by shouting, "Bluh-Dee H'el". The male creature apparently possessed reflexes enough to see the bolt as it began coming for him and speed enough to avoid it. He was worthy. The Predator powered down the plasma cannon on its shoulder and simply walked forward.
The male flew back as the sound of the Predator's fist made the dull thud of someone punching a slab of beef. He rose and was battered again, flying another few feet away. The invisible Predator strode forth and struck again. However, this time its hand was caught. It cocked its head in puzzlement as the creature's face inexplicably changed, ridges bulging out, teeth growing, the eyes changing…perhaps in color?
The Predator then felt pain as the creature bit into his arm hard. That was the last straw. The hand the creature bit into was the Predator's left hand. The right held a deadly surprise. From his wrist gauntlet, twin blades sprung out with a clanking sound. The blades then entered the male's stomach hard. His bite was broken as he was lifted into the air, writhing on the blades. The Predator was about to throw him off of them when he was struck from behind with a hard force. Stumbling forward, it dropped the male and turned to come face to face with Slay-Er. Well, technically face to chest as she was much shorter than he.
"Spike, are you alright?" Slay-Er said.
"I think I might be disemboweled." The male behind the Predator said.
The Predator sneered. Slay-Er had saved the life of the male and taken his honor. He was worthless. Slay-Er seemed bold however. The Predator swung at her and amazingly she managed to duck the swing and then bring a hard fist into the Predator's chest. The Predator wasn't badly hurt. He had had much worse in his time. Still the blow was fierce, so the Predator returned in kind with his left hand scoring a glancing blow on Slay-Er's head as she tried to avoid it.
"I hate fighting invisible people." Slay-Er mouthed as she went to her knees, feeling where she had been hit for blood. She found it.
The Predator began to strike at her with his right bladed hand before he was sent flying back by an unseen force. As he scanned the area, he saw the other female sitting up with the bird in her lap! She was healing at a remarkable rate and seemed to have her eyes fixed on the Predator.
"Thespia, let us glean upon this thing that cannot be seen." She choked out.
Warnings popped up on the Predator's screen inside his helmet. His cloak was losing power. He was becoming visible. Slay-Er's jaw dropped when she saw the true form of the Predator come into sight, but he knew she wasn't afraid. She didn't smell afraid. The Predator warbled his cicada cry in challenge. He wanted Slay-Er alone.
The male was unable to fight at the moment, but at the rate the other female was healing she would be up and around to aid Slay-Er soon. The Predator quickly threw a razor disk at her. She had no time to prepare as the disk turned vertical in the air, shearing through the top of the female's head leaving her skull cut upon from her forehead to the back of her cranium. She fell back incapacitated as the razor disk returned to its master.
Slay-Er attacked enraged at that and traded blows with the Predator. She was strong. Given the proper time and training, perhaps as strong as a Predator. But perhaps not. The Predator grabbed her wrists when she sent blows at him and kneed her in the mid-section violently. Slay-Er was actually carried off the ground by the impact, spun, and thrown a dozen feet easy.
The Predator ran forth and threw a kick. Slay-Er spun out of the way and swept him to the ground while he was off balance with a foot in the air. She then brought hands into a double axe handle and hit the Predator in the throat. The Predator sat up clutching its throat. Slay-Er wrapped her arms around his neck attempting to break it. The Predator stood with her still clinging to his back. Her grip around his neck was tight, but he slowly, methodically broke it and violently pulled her up over his shoulder. The Predator gripped her by the neck with one hand and by the leg with another. He then surveyed the area and took off with a full head of steam and slammed Slay-Er into the wall of a tomb, making an indention in the concrete wall.
"Yeah! Kick her ass!" the creature she had been fighting before shouted.
Was it challenging the Predator? Perhaps, but the Predator had the one it wanted.
It backed up and slammed Slay-Er into the wall again. The Predator did this again and again and again, each time eliciting a scream of pain from Slay-Er. Backing up one last time it lifted Slay-Er over its head in a gorilla slam position and chucked her into the side of the tomb. Despite the crippling pain, she must have been in she managed to sit up, if just barely. Time to end this.
The Predator strode forward the claws on its right arm fully extended. Taking a moment to imagine how the head of Slay-Er would look on his trophy case, the Predator smiled under its helmet. Then it struck forth. But he did not take her head.
Still, the broken mess that was Slay-Er fought. Her small hands wrapped about the blades of the Predator holding the arm back, albeit shakily. The Predator pushed forward, hard, as blood flowed off the hands of Slay-Er. She resisted going into death and for that the Predator respected her immensely. Still he would kill her all the same. Harder he pushed, inching closer and closer to Slay-Er's head and neck…closer…closer…almost there.
The Predator quickly recoiled the blades and spun on instinct as he felt the presence of another behind him. His blades took the head of the creature that had shouted mere moments before and it crumbled to dust as it was decapitated.
This was wrong. Something was wrong here. The Predator had just disintegrated something by merely taking the head. That did not happen on a regular basis. Perhaps, when the others had been killed earlier, it was because they were genetically programmed to do so at death. That would mean if Slay-Er was like them, she would simply crumble to dust as well when he took her head. That meant no trophy. That meant no honor. But wait, Slay-Er had used a simple stabbing weapon that he had thought was a disruptor to kill her opponent. He had been stabbing and blasting away at these others all through the battle, yet they remained intact. There was much to consider now. Much that needed to be learned. Though he ached to take her head now, he would not unless he was absolutely sure he would have a trophy and not just dust.
The Predator looked down at Slay-Er and saw her weapon in the front pocket of the garment she wore on her legs. He took it and examined it. Perhaps it would lead to answers? Perhaps there was a secret to the weapon? Perhaps if he learned more about it, he would learn more about his foe? The Predator looked to Slay-Er lying on the ground and cocked its head before walking off into the night, ignoring the pleas from behind him.
"Hey! That's my stake! That's my Mr. Pointy! Hey! Bring that back!" Buffy screamed as she watched the Predator walk away.
"Shut up woman!" Spike said, as he crawled over to her slowly, "You get that big oaf to come back, you'll most likely get us all killed!"
"Yeah, you're probably right." Buffy groaned and wheezed as she struggled to speak, "How bad are you?"
"I've had worse, but it still hurts like hell. Blighter's blood tastes like shit too." Spike said wiping his mouth with his sleeve and looking at it, "In addition to glowing in the dark."
"Oh God, Tara!" Buffy said, trying to position herself to crawl to their comrade. Buffy didn't get far.
"Stay put. I'll do it." Spike said crawling to Tara.
Poe was standing beside her cawing wildly, flapping his wings and obviously favoring one of them.
Spike shooed the bird and listened, "Her chest is almost all healed. She's breathing at least. She's alive but she's out cold. Head's split open badly. It's healing but she might have brain damage from all this."
Spike then turned and looked at Buffy, "We need to get out of here. Place'll be crawling with vampires once they smell Slayer blood in the air. Not to mention Ghouls to scavenge on us. Tara was linked up to Red right?"
"Yeah, but…ah…they way they explained it was….that they weren't entirely linked up. Just could contact each other if they needed it. If she got a hold of Willow, she'd be here by now." Buffy grimaced in pain, "I don't think I can walk right now."
"Your cell phone?" Spike asked.
Buffy reached into her jacket pocket and produced a heavily damaged piece of equipment, "Smashed."
"Bloody peachy." Spike said, trying to stand, "We might have to take a big risk here."
"What's that?" Buffy asked, trying to crawl forward again.
"I seem to be in the best shape of the three of us. My car isn't far from here. I can try to get to it and come back and get you two."
Poe cawed.
"Three. But I don't like leaving you here vulnerable like this." Spike said, managing to get to his feet.
"I know, but you're going to have to." Buffy said, finally crawling to Tara's side, "We'll be fine. Go and get the car."
"Are you sure?" Spike asked.
"I trust you. Do it." Buffy said as she draped an arm over Tara protectively.
"I love you." Spike said as he bent his knees.
"No bending down. You might not get back up. Go get the car. Kiss me once you get us home safe." Buffy said.
"Right then." Spike said, limping off in search of his Desoto.
"Spike?" Buffy said.
"Yeah?"
"I love you too." Buffy said, before groaning in pain.
Spike limped off with a smirk on his face, leaving his friend and lover behind to fend for themselves at the moment. Buffy lay her head down and held Tara tight. Tara had gotten it worse than anyone and Buffy was very afraid that she would die again. Buffy managed to sit up and pulled Tara's head into her lap and watched her head wound continue to heal.
"It'll be alright Tara. Spike will be right back. You hold on. We all need you, especially Willow. Plus you're not a pain like Kennedy." Buffy said, almost crying.
Poe cawed to Buffy excitedly. Buffy reached down and pet the bird.
"She'll be okay. I promise." Buffy said, trying to calm him.
Poe pulled away and cawed loudly again. Buffy didn't quite understand, but then she felt that familiar tingle in her skull that screamed "vampire". Buffy turned her head and instantly swallowed.
It was Bacchus.