Endless days of walking. They are only good for one thing, thinking. Vash considered every event of his life that led up to this exact moment in time, evaluating the choices he made along the road of life. So many fleeting opportunities to stop Knives, yet he never did. Why? Knives had used him as an implement, a weapon, for as far back as he could recall. Even before Project Seeds had reached this world Knives used Vash's emotional strife to pierce Rem's iron will and to hurt her. It was as if Vash was a well orchestrated extension of Knives' malice, blinded by emotions and misunderstood ideals.
However, it wasn't his hatred or loathing of humans that motivated him, as Vash knew too well, but fear. Fear of the unknown. Unknown origins, purposes, logics and philosophies. Knives presumed the people of this planet would despise and rise up against him, harm him, so in preemptive retaliation he slaughtered them in the windrows and justified it as purification of the universe. Exterminating the spiders to save the butterflies, he called it.
Vash, of course, was not without sin nor flaw. Yet it was his efforts to survive and to help others survive that pardoned his faults and gave him leverage to exercise untainted justice. Violence was not his means of accomplishing objectives, but the criminally insane rarely forfeit their efforts and admit they were in the wrong. On the one hand, violence solves nothing, but on the other to take no action and allow the insane to rampage would be more destructive than to incapacitate or fell the element of danger. It was on this concept that Vash fell short as an enforcer; he wished to live in a perfect world where no one died and all of life was happiness. A perfect world, an impossible goal disqualified simply by the fact that each individual has different desires, and the instant any of these desires contradict each other it is no longer a world of perfection.
Any ideal can be taken to fanatic extremes. Wolfwood understood the price of freedom, constant awareness and constant willingness to fight back, yet he let this be his excuse to kill rather than reason. Vash understood that it was love and peace that made the world worth living in, but he enforced it to the point of refusing to accept the facts of life. Knives understood that there is destruction in this universe, but he did not account for the fact that nothing is constant, all must decay, and that for every action there is a degree of rightness and wrongness attached. A moderation of each of these ideals and logics would be most suitable, yet each man was preoccupied with asserting his rightness against opposition and was therefore blinded from the other faces of the spectrum.
Vash pondered on this as his feet shifted stiffly beneath him, carrying him with a will of their own. At times he would look down at his legs and wonder briefly, instantaneously, whose legs they were. I'm going crazy out here all alone, Vash considered as he drifted along the dim trail scarred by wind and unsteady footsteps. It was almost three o'clock in the afternoon just two days after Vash had hauled Knives into town. The two suns were beginning their slow arc beneath the horizon, while one of the moons had eagerly peeked into the sky in the east. I wonder where these tracks are leading. Wouldn't he have gone to get the Angel Arms back?
The retrodden path Vash straggled along moved in large waves, swaying from side to side, traveling in a general circle toward someplace familiar. Many of the rolling dunes echoed back faint voices of winds long past. Odors of an old and familiar quality traced through the air and permeated the ambiance of Vash's hunt. Scarred faces of rocks gazed on as the devil in the red coat floated by; back then he had donned brown burlap that ruffled and crackled in strong winds. Slivers of his memory pooled together, making a whole image again.
Cognizant of his surroundings by a lingering melancholy rather than nostalgia, Vash realized where Knives had been trekking to. Not more than one and one half ile away was the drop ship Knives had spawned the Angel Arms within. He must be going back to make another one! Turning to the sky, Vash despaired at the last setting sun. Nighttime was a perfect opportunity to exterminate a small town, but Knives might also be exhausted and opt to sleep. Either way, a decision had to be made- continue tracking Knives in bad light and chance losing the trail, or rest and chance allowing Knives to end more innocent lives. Rest appeared the most logical.
Vash shuffled over to a craggy rock leaning out of a dune obliquely and lay beneath the gentle slope that would provide cover from unexpected rains. His ragged breathing filled his consciousness for a brief moment, ending with an abrupt onrush of fretful sleep. From deep within the ephemeral eternity of sleep a softly lit figure came to Vash, slipping out from the veils of darkness into view. Gray eyes smiled from a pale face surrounded by lush black hair, sparkling with a light of both joy and sorrow.
Forcing tears back, stifling sobs, the two looked on at each other and considered what to say. Meryl was the first to speak, though she faltered, "Vash, I- I don't want you to be angry. It was my careless behavior that made Knives--"
"No. Nothing you could have done would be reason for Knives to...." Vash fell silent, afraid to offend Meryl. Strange as the situation was, speaking to a dream, he felt she deserved more respect than to be told the harsh truth. There are greater forms of communication in times such as this, one being tactile. Meaningless as it was, Vash wrapped his wispy arms around her quivering figure and rocked her on her heels. In exchange she hummed that old, familiar lullaby Rem would comfort him with.
As she sang her voice began to crack, tears wetting the neck of Vash's coat. Meryl bunched up his coat in her hands and pushed him back arm's length, still on the verge of crying uncontrollably. "You have always been right, Vash. This world is filled with love and peace, so please, Mr. Vash, help Knives see that." The dam of numbed emotions broke, releasing a turgid flood of wailing and sobs, yet she continued, "Please don't kill him because you are angry with him! I-"
Vash tilted her head up and looked into her eyes, crying as well. "But he took so much from you! How can you forgive him?"
"If we don't stop this circle of hate, it will continue to grow until every person on this planet will hate each other. You have to show them that love is stronger than violence." More footsteps echoed from the darkness behind Meryl, advancing out of the black mists. Millie towered solemnly, seeing Vash over Meryl's head with ease. Her usual cheer also waned, replaced by a grim smile.
Seeing Vash troubled at the sight of her, she forced a smile and a laugh and managed to say in a perky voice, "My dad always told me that no matter how bad you feel, if you force yourself to smile you'll stop frowning! I know it sounds pretty obvious, but it's worked for me for many years." She got caught on her last statement, realizing the bitter irony that it would no longer work as there would be nothing in the world powerful enough to make her smile again. She turned quickly on her heels to hide her face, apologizing over her heaving shoulders.
Gray beams of light began seeping through the black threads of mist, obscuring Vash's view of the girls as they disseminated with the dim clouds. Vash realized that he was awaking, and that he had limited time to confess his sentiments to Meryl. As he parted his lips to speak, Meryl placed her finger across his mouth to silence him. Sapped of energy Vash collapsed to the floor, unable to stand, as Meryl lay down beside him. Almost all had turned to white, soft phosphorescence filling the entire space. Meryl leaned against Vash, sighed, and hugged him tightly.
At that instant the light faded to black, taking her with it, and left him feeling sore and parched. He was awake. In his state of waking he felt lonely, but realized he was not alone.
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Well, that took a lot of effort out of me. I sure hope this chapter was better, not that I'm the type who would say so myself. Just make sure to review it no matter what else happens, okay?
