Title: Notice Me
Author: Saifai
Pairing: Spike/Buffy
Summary: Spike and Buffy each reflect on their relationship, past and
present.
AN: Takes place during Season 6. There are no real spoilers to speak of
unless you haven't seen the show that far. This isn't beta'd, so any
bastardizations of the English language are exclusively mine. In addition,
it's my first gasp Het story, and it's a Spuffy to boot. To make things
worse, the lyrics are from Britney Spears "Everytime". Just kill me now.
hangs head in shame
AN2: The POV switches between Buffy and Spike, but I think y'all can follow
it.
Notice me
I can see your pain. I can see your struggle with yourself each day. I can help you take that pain away. I can make your forget, you know I can. Why don't you come to me?
Take my hand
I'm right here, but you look past me. You have a willing slave, if you'd only let me. Let me love you.
Why are we strangers
I've never understood why you can't just admit it to even yourself. When we're alone, I'd like think that's what matters. It never does though. You can't even bring yourself to open up to me even at our most intimate moments.
When our love is strong
We've been so much to each other. I loved you when it mattered most, didn't I? I've always come when you called. I do your bidding. So why must it be so difficult?
Why carry on without me?
Why do you even try? You know you can't do this. You need me, just as I love you. I'm in your blood now. You can run, but you won't get far.
---
Everytime I try to fly
I fall without my wings
I collapsed today. All I wanted was to run to you and fall into your arms, but I know I can't. I wouldn't be right. I need to do this on my own. I need to feel like I'm my own person.
I feel so small
I guess I need you baby
I failed miserably. I could be with you right now. You would wrap me up, caring for me as something so precious. Instead I'm here- cold and alone.
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, it's haunting me
You're still with me, in a way. I close my eyes and I'm with you. But you're in the light with me. Ironic really, don't you think? I spend my waking hours in the dark with you, and my dreams are in the light.
I guess I need you baby
I can't do this alone. I need you. I know you need me.
I make believe that you are here
Sometimes I pretend. When it gets to be too much for me, I close my eyes and envision you. We're past this life then.
It's the only way
That would never happen for us. You and I both know it. You think I'm the one in denial, but it's really you. Why can't you see that?
I see clear
I know what I have to do, for the both of us really. One of us needs to be the strong one here. I already know that it can't be you.
--
What have I done
Oh God, why? That's not me! It is, but not anymore. You must know that? I can't do this anymore, I just can't. I never thought it would be me. I never thought I'd leave you.
You seem to move on easy
I can't believe that you could do it with such ease. I know I have no right to feel this way, especially after what I've done. But I can't help but wonder how you walk away without looking back. How did you do it?
And everytime I try to fly
I fall without my wings
The thought of a life without you terrifies me, but I have no other choice.
I feel so small I guess I need you baby
I'm nothing without you. I know that now. But I could say the same for you. I need to find a way. I don't know how or when just yet. When I do, I'll be back for you.
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, you're haunting me
Even in my dreams, you're there. Your shining beauty is there before my, offering up your sins for me to take upon myself. There's no escape for me.
Notice me
I can see your pain. I can see your struggle with yourself each day. I can help you take that pain away. I can make your forget, you know I can. Why don't you come to me?
Take my hand
I'm right here, but you look past me. You have a willing slave, if you'd only let me. Let me love you.
Why are we strangers
I've never understood why you can't just admit it to even yourself. When we're alone, I'd like think that's what matters. It never does though. You can't even bring yourself to open up to me even at our most intimate moments.
When our love is strong
We've been so much to each other. I loved you when it mattered most, didn't I? I've always come when you called. I do your bidding. So why must it be so difficult?
Why carry on without me?
Why do you even try? You know you can't do this. You need me, just as I love you. I'm in your blood now. You can run, but you won't get far.
---
Everytime I try to fly
I fall without my wings
I collapsed today. All I wanted was to run to you and fall into your arms, but I know I can't. I wouldn't be right. I need to do this on my own. I need to feel like I'm my own person.
I feel so small
I guess I need you baby
I failed miserably. I could be with you right now. You would wrap me up, caring for me as something so precious. Instead I'm here- cold and alone.
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, it's haunting me
You're still with me, in a way. I close my eyes and I'm with you. But you're in the light with me. Ironic really, don't you think? I spend my waking hours in the dark with you, and my dreams are in the light.
I guess I need you baby
I can't do this alone. I need you. I know you need me.
I make believe that you are here
Sometimes I pretend. When it gets to be too much for me, I close my eyes and envision you. We're past this life then.
It's the only way
That would never happen for us. You and I both know it. You think I'm the one in denial, but it's really you. Why can't you see that?
I see clear
I know what I have to do, for the both of us really. One of us needs to be the strong one here. I already know that it can't be you.
--
What have I done
Oh God, why? That's not me! It is, but not anymore. You must know that? I can't do this anymore, I just can't. I never thought it would be me. I never thought I'd leave you.
You seem to move on easy
I can't believe that you could do it with such ease. I know I have no right to feel this way, especially after what I've done. But I can't help but wonder how you walk away without looking back. How did you do it?
And everytime I try to fly
I fall without my wings
The thought of a life without you terrifies me, but I have no other choice.
I feel so small I guess I need you baby
I'm nothing without you. I know that now. But I could say the same for you. I need to find a way. I don't know how or when just yet. When I do, I'll be back for you.
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, you're haunting me
Even in my dreams, you're there. Your shining beauty is there before my, offering up your sins for me to take upon myself. There's no escape for me.