ACT II.
Scene I: The Ship's Nightclub
The passengers of the S.S. Miserables honor Valjean for putting their boat on the map with a hymn-like rousing tap number ("Public Enemy Number One"). This infuriates Javert to no end, and he tries once again to arrest Valjean, but the passengers won't have it. Enraged, Javert storms out of the nightclub and arrests the first person he sees -Marius.
Eponine, whose affection for Marius has turned to bitter hatred as she was repeatedly ignored, witnesses the arrest and dubs Javert "her hero." She realizes she's madly in love with the inspector as the stage goes black.
Scene II: The Ship's Jail Cell
Marius is thrown into the jail cell on the ship by Javert and finds that there is someone else also serving his time - his law buddy Courfeyrac, who, needless to say, is shocked to find that Marius is here instead of in France doing the important law work that needs to be completed or their hineys are in the street. Marius sighs, and begs Courfeyrac's forgiveness. Courfeyrac responds, "Of course! That's what friends are for! We're together, Marius, through thick and thin!" The two proceed to sing a rousing tap number in honor of their great relationship ("Friendship.") They pose, and the stage goes black.
Scene III: On Deck, Later that Evening
Valjean, returning from the celebration in the nightclub with fangirls giggling behind him, informs Cosette of Marius's arrest before going off with his newfound "playmates." Cosette, convinced Marius is a dangerous criminal and they will never be able to live happily ever after, sings the heartwarming, rousing tap number "Goodbye, Little Dream." At the end of the song, she decides she doesn't care is Marius is a dangerous killer who could rape her and snap her neck like a twig and leave her for dead. She resolves to break him out of jail, and runs off to do so right away.
Immediately after she exits, Javert and Eponine drag a half naked Valjean onto the deck amidst the offstage protests of his many female admirers. Valjean, in an attempt to "strike a little deal" with Javert, flirtatiously sings a few bars of the (a)rousing tap number "Let's Misbehave." Javert cuts him off with a snide "You already have, Valjean - that's why I'm going to throw you in jail now." Eponine mimics Javert's smirk as the two drag him off in the direction of the ship's jail cell.
Scene IV: The Ship's Jail Cell
Marius and Courfeyrac are getting very, very depressed in jail. They're beginning to think they're going to be in there for the rest of their pathetic lives, and by the time Javert and Eponine deliver Valjean to the jail cell they are both in tears. "Aw, cheer up boys! Jail ain't so bad!" cries Valjean upon seeing their tear-stained faces. "And trust me, I know." He then reveals to the two his little secret to staying happy amoung the sorrow and misery of jail - singing! - in a rousing tap number ("Be Like The Bluebird".) The song, however, is not much consolation to Messieurs Marius and Courfeyrac - in fact, all it does is convince them of Valjean's insanity. At the end of the song, they burst into tears once more.
Luckily, at that precise moment, Cosette shows up to bust them out, and does so with great ease - Javert forgot to lock to cell door when he left! Ha ha! Marius and Cosette happily embrace, to the whoops and cheers of Courfeyrac and Valjean. The two then go out for a romantic moonlight stroll, and sing a nonsensical rousing tap number about their romance ("It's De-lovely".) Valjean and Courfeyrac provide the back-up vocals.
Scene V: On Deck, That Night
Eponine and Javert return from their exhausting arrest, and relax in the moonlight on the ship's deck. Eponine confesses her everlasting and undying love for Javert, who is shocked, and in turn sings about his ever-growing desire to "misbehave" in the rousing tap number "The Gypsy in Me."
After the song, the two disappear into Eponine's room as Marius and Cosette emerge from Marius's room. They sing another rousing love ballad/tap number about their affections ("All Through the Night".) Enjolras overhears the song and bursts into tears as Marius and Cosette return to their room once more. Courfeyrac enters, and upon seeing Enjolras bawling like a little child, proceeds to ask him what's wrong.
"Oh, nothing," replied Enjolras sarcastically. "My fiancé, my beautiful fiancé, the love of my life, just left for me another man, that's all!"
Some sailors who are sweeping the deck overhear this sorrowful statement, and immediately rush over to comfort this aching soul. Led by a sensitive and understanding Courfeyrac, the sailors comfortingly serenade Enjolras with the rousing tap number "They'll Always be a Lady Fair." By the end of the song, Enjolras is feeling much better and invites Courfeyrac up to his room for some "male bonding." Courfeyrac quickly accepts, and the two exits amidst whoops and cat-calls from the sailors.
Scene VI: On Deck, the Next Morning
All of the passengers are gathered on the deck for absolutely no reason whatsoever. Marius and Cosette decide that this is the perfect time to announce their engagement, and they do so to cheers and mad applause from the passengers, who really have no idea who they are but like an excuse to clap and cheer. Caught up in the moment, Javert and Eponine announce their engagement as well.
There is a stir amoung the sailors - Enjolras and Courfeyrac enter, hand in hand, smiling and giggling. One of the sailors tells them "We're all announcing our engagements now - and I think it's your turn!"
So Enjolras and Courfeyrac announce their plans to stay in England, get married, and open up a bed and breakfast. Everyone applauds and cheers again, but the crowd goes quiet as Valjean suddenly emerges from amidst the passengers.
"I have no engagement to announce, since it's illegal to marry 18 women," Valjean says slowly, "but there is something I'd like to ask someone." He gets down on one knee in front of Javert and says in a calm, collected, if slightly unsure voice, "Javert, there's something I'd like to ask you."
"Go ahead," replies Javert anxiously.
"Will you set me free?" asks Valjean.
Javert, who is so ecstatic about finally getting laid, immediately answers, Of course, Valjean! You're free to go!" The crowd bursts into more cheers and applause, and they all celebrate with the rousing tap number known only as "Finale."
THE END.