The Lost Line
Chapter 5: Constipated Bull
From Chapter 4
Dumbledore smiled at the confused looks on Ruby's and Oz's faces. "Mail. It's carried by owls."
They nodded, still looking slightly confused.
One owl landed in front of Dumbledore, and he looked at the envelope after he removed it from the owl's leg. "Most interesting."
"What?" Ruby asked, out of reflex more than curiosity.
"It's an owl from the surviving members of the Council."
Ruby got up, and noted that Severus stood as well. "No. How-- how can they know I'm here?"
She felt panic rise inside her, and felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked at Oz, who was trying to steady her and calm her down at the same time.
"A locator spell, most likely. One through the ground, and not the air, I would imagine."
"What's the difference?"
"Well, a locator spell through the air can only work properly if the area where the person is is not filled with magic that would interfere. All the magic in the air of Hogwarts would protect you from the spell. However, all things are connected to the earth. Magic does not provide a barrier in the ground like it does in the air. Therefore, they would be able to locate you by finding the energy of the Slayer in the ground. I'm sure those that came here recognized the area."
"I hate them," Ruby muttered.
Oz looked at Dumbledore. "What does it say? Is Giles okay? How about Wesley?"
Dumbledore smiled at the young man. "Both are well. Rupert is in Sunnydale at the moment, and Wesley is in Los Angeles. Both will be arriving to deal with Ruby around Christmas, so as not to disturb the classes."
"And what will we do with her in the meantime?" Severus asked, glaring at the girl.
"You will be her Watcher for the time."
Severus' face fell. Ruby stared at Dumbledore in shock. Jacques and Remus walked over to find out what was wrong. Oz was pondering calling Giles beforehand and asking him to bring Willow with him when he came to visit. Dumbledore was contemplating giving everyone a lemon drop.
"No!! No way!! NEVER!!"
"Headmaster, can't you write them back and say 'No, thank you'?"
"What? What happened?"
Ruby glared at Remus. "Greaseball over here is my new Watcher until the Council shows up!!"
"What?" Remus looked at Severus. "Giles was right..."
Severus arched an eyebrow. "Rupert Giles? When did you talk to him?"
Remus blushed. "In my dream."
"Holy dreams, Batman!" Ruby said. "Is there anything else he mentioned?"
"Just that you wouldn't accept me as a Watcher."
"Damn right! But, he left out one part: I don't want ANY Watcher."
Severus stormed out of the Great Hall. "I will NOT stand for this!"
Ruby huffed. "You think I will?!?" She grabbed two bagels and left. "I'm leaving as soon as I can. Forget the Council. Forget Greaseball. Forget Hogwarts! Forget it all!!"
Dumbledore looked up after having just finished the rest of the letter. "No, wait--!!"
He could not even finish before Ruby and Severus came flying into each other like they had very strong magnets on them.
As all the students turned to look at what had happened, Dumbledore got up to crouch near the young Slayer and professor.
"If you two had let me finish, the Council has decided to bind you to one another. You must train at least once a day. Should either of you leave the room when the other does not, what just happened will happen once more."
Ruby and Severus sighed. Then, Ruby blushed. "Umm... what happens when one of us has to go to the bathroom?"
Dumbledore blinked. "Have a lemon drop."
.........
Oz followed Remus around the whole day, getting a general feel for Hogwarts. Remus seemed to be a very good teacher, and only the Slytherins seemed not to get along with him. A few students were afraid of him, but Remus explained it was because Severus outed him one year.
"No wonder Ruby doesn't want him to be her Watcher."
"Yeah... I wish I could be her Watcher instead, but I'm apparently not ready yet."
Oz arched an eyebrow. "How so?"
Remus sighed. He had already explained his dream-- leaving out certain parts, of course. "I'd get too emotional."
"Well, you did seem pretty emotional last night when you didn't want her to die." Oz noticed that Remus was blushing. "Do you have a crush on her?"
"No! I'm just interested in the fact that she's a Slayer. Remember, I've never met one before. Besides... I like someone else."
"Who?"
"Someone I knew in school. Very pretty girl. She works with the Council. I'm hoping she'll come here during Christmas with the other Watchers."
"I wish I could see the girl I like."
"What's she like?"
"Gay." Oz looked over at Remus' shocked face. "Long story."
..........
Dumbledore met them in the Great Hall. "Well, there's been a lot of fighting going on between Ruby and Severus. They still have not left the dungeons. I've tried to reason with them, but they refused."
Remus sighed. "Shall we try to talk to them?"
"I doubt it will do much good. But, I think we can try to stop them from killing one another," he informed them, as they made their way to the dungeons.
As they got to the door, they heard a very loud crash, followed by what sounded like a punch and an "Ow!"
A scream and a kick later, Dumbledore and Remus were faced with Severus and Ruby, both in headlocks, moving in a circle, punching one another.
"What are you two doing?!" Remus asked, aghast.
"TRAINING!" they both shouted.
Dumbledore grabbed the wide-eyed young man and closed the door.
"Headmaster, aren't you worried they'll demolish the school?"
Dumbledore smiled. "I think it's about time the school was redecorated, don't you?"
"What? But... but.. Headmaster!!"
"Oh, Remus, they're not going to kill one another. You and I both know that they're just trying to remove the binding spell."
Ruby shot out of the room, and slammed the door behind her.
"Ha ha! I'm free! I'm free!" She started to sing. "I'm free of the greaseball! I'm free of the greaseball!"
Dumbledore smiled at Remus. "See?"
..........
And so, every morning until Christmas, Ruby and Severus would punch one another until they felt the spell fade, and depending on their moods, would spend half the day annoying one another, or half the day silently threatening one another.
..........
At nights, well, that was a different story.
"Burn, baby, burn!" Ruby shouted, as the last vampire caught fire.
Severus rubbed his temples. "Must you make a pun every night?"
"They're the best part!"
"They're the tackiest part."
"Are you saying my puns suck?"
"Quite frankly, yes."
"Take that back, Greaseball!"
"Take back that 'Greaseball' comment."
"Why should I take back something that's true?"
Severus scoffed. "Well, then, why should I?"
Ruby turned bright red. "Oh, that is IT!" She leaped on top of him, grabbing him around the neck. "I'll show you who's telling the truth!"
Severus grabbed her neck in retaliation. "Likewise!"
"Hey, you two, stop it!!" Oz yelled, decapitating the forgotten demon. "You're supposed to be a team!"
They glared at one another, and reluctantly allowed Remus to pry them apart, as he had done every night.
"Any word from the Council as to what time tomorrow they're coming to get her?" Severus asked, a triumphant smirk on his face, knowing that any mention of the Council coming to get her would drive Ruby crazy. After all, if she tried to leave school grounds, even if she and Severus had beat the living daylights out of one another, the spell on them would not allow it.
They found that one out the hard way.
Ruby tried to jump him once more, but Remus held her back. "They were really very vague about it."
"Well, I hope it's early in the morning. I don't want to have to suffer another night with her."
Ruby glared at the Potions Master. "Keep this up, and I may want to stay and haunt you for the rest of my days."
"Once this stupid spell is removed, the Council can cast another spell to simply take you away using magic."
Ruby smiled sweetly, something that sent chills through all their spines, given the amount of scars on her face. "Well, I do know how to use the Ghost Roads. I could always come back for a nice little visit to Remmie-kins here, and then annoy you the rest of the day."
Severus arched an eyebrow at Remus. "Remmie-kins?"
Remus stood holding Ruby, wide-eyed, mouth open in shock.
Ruby waved her hand in front of his face. "Remus? Are you holding me back or holding me for support?"
Remus made a few nonsensical words.
Oz sighed. "Let's get him back to Hogwarts." The others nodded and made their way back to the castle.
Oz woke up the next morning, a feeling of excitement filling him. Today was the day that Giles and Wesley were coming with other Watchers to get Ruby, but it was also the day that he would get to see Willow again.
Oz dug out another robe from the pile that he had been given, and made his way to the Great Hall for breakfast. By now, he was used to Hogwarts and the portraits that giggled as he passed by.
Several times he gave a few of them winks.
Other times, Severus and Ruby would stamp past them all, one of them complaining about not
getting enough sleep during the night, blaming the other. The first midnight after the binding
spell was cast on them, they were once again bound to each other, and decided (after many
arguments and a lot of yelling) that it would be easier on both of them if they just shared a room.
Ruby would blame Severus and his research on potions or grumbles about Potter and the rest of the insolent Gryffindors, while Severus would blame Ruby's constant gossiping with the portraits.
The first morning of Christmas break, however, was a quiet one. Many people had chosen to sleep in late. The various professors had been up all night grading the last of the assignments so that they would not have to worry about them over the break, and instead focus on their lessons once classes resumed.
Oz walked into the Great Hall to find only Dumbledore there, smiling. "Ah. Oz. The House Elves have informed me that there will be pizza for lunch. Apparently, Ruby had become unnerved last night and asked Jaques to bring back a recipe for it as well as a pie. The elves became very excited and wanted to give it a try. I thought perhaps you could give them some tips. I doubt Ruby will be up to teaching elves how to cook, and will instead be trying to find a way to stay here."
Oz shrugged. "Sure I'll teach them. And Ruby does like it here. It's easy, except for Professor Snape."
"And what about you? Do you like it here?"
He shrugged once more. "I miss my friends, but I haven't seen them for years."
Dumbledore nodded knowingly. "The struggle to control the wolf."
"Yeah."
"So, do you like Hogwarts?"
"Yeah. It's a little bit like home. An extraordinary witch, future Watchers, a Slayer, werewolf, the beauty queens, the ordinary ones... The only thing missing is a vampire with a soul in love with the Slayer." Oz shrugged. "I guess Professor Snape comes close-- except, he's not in love with Ruby."
Dumbledore chuckled. "He is no vampire, but I do think underneath it all, he has a soft spot for Ruby-- puns included. And she has a soft spot for him. She's only broken his nose once."
"You think so?"
"Neither will admit it, but they need each other." Dumbledore sighed. "I want Ruby to stay here longer. Something is happening. Curiosity is growing, a power is emerging, and a fight will soon begin. I fear that some of our girls here are going to be targets."
"Why?"
"We may actually have potential Slayers at Hogwarts for the first time in centuries."
"Potential Slayers? How can you tell?"
"We can't. We can only tell where the power is."
"Well, when did the power show up?"
"Shortly after Ruby arrived. I think her presence may have awakened the potential powers in some of our girls."
"Is that how it always is? The power won't awaken until it meets the power?"
"Not always. I think that the reason Hogwarts has not had Potentials is all of the magical waves in the air. Besides, almost everyone at Hogwarts could be a Slayer. They all know how to defend against the dark arts and the creatures of darkness." With a sigh, he added, "Even if some of them give in to the darkness instead."
Oz knew that Dumbledore had been thinking of Voldemort, and he noticed the old man's gaze turning towards the Slytherin table. Apparently, many of the Slytherins were supposed to be leaving that night to receive the Dark Mark signifying their loyalty to Voldemort.
Of course, Ruby, on hearing of Voldemort, had cheerily cracked her knuckles and asked when she would get to take him on.
Snape had scoffed. "The Dark Lord is not your average evil wizard. His minions would kill you without a second thought."
Of course, Ruby had merely smiled at him. "I'm a Slayer. I'd love to see what could bring me down. And if it's this Voldemold, or whatever, then so be it."
Remus had huffed at her reaction. "Why can't you be more serious about your life?! Every fight to you is just something to see what will bring you down at the end! Is that all you ever think about?!"
Ruby had merely walked away from him, muttering something about the evil never ending.
Severus had shot Remus a glance that said he was getting too emotional before stalking after Ruby to stop her from destroying something in his dungeons and calling it "training."
"What are you going to do about the Slytherins?"
"Well, I cannot keep them here against their wishes. Their parents, all Death Eaters, would attempt to storm this school. And that is something I will not allow." Dumbledore sighed, and the heavy lines around his eyes showed just how much he had to deal with. "I wish it weren't so, but most of them were lost before I could ever attempt to save them."
Oz saw from the look in the older man's eyes that it would be nice to have a change of subject.
Just then, Remus walked up, in much of a hurry. "Professor Dumbledore, you cannot allow the Council to take Miss Fier away! We could use her in the fight against You-Know-Who, no matter what Severus has to say. We should make her a member of the Order."
"I have thought of that as well, Remus, but the Council is having problems of its own. The First is waging war against them, and its followers are killing Potentials everywhere."
Something clicked in Oz's head. "If there are Potentials here, would the Council do all they could to protect them?"
"Of course. But, they would not leave Miss Fier here just because of one or two Potentials."
"But, if there was an evil wizard after them as well?" Remus asked, his hands in tight fists.
Dumbledore shook his head sadly. "The First is not a corporeal being. Voldemort is. The Council's fight is much larger than the fight we have to face. Besides, we have our fair share of powerful wizards and witches. They have only one Slayer against the First, and one in jail. They will not leave their third with a wizarding school."
Remus slammed his fists on the table. "Well, they should!"
"Who should do what?"
They all turned to the voice. It was Ruby, with Severus, and Hermione did not seem to be too far off, her eyes filled with awe.
"The Council should leave you here."
Ruby snorted. "I think that the Council should get Schnoz off my back and let me do as I please.
Speaking of which, if I have to have a Watcher here, I'd at least like one that wouldn't shoot Unforgivables at me."
Snape huffed. "I keep telling you that it's what the Dark Lord would do, and you ducked every single one of them."
"You were really very good," Hermione said from her spot behind them.
Remus narrowed his eyes in confusion at her.
Ruby explained for him. "She's been waking up early each morning and going to the Potions room to watch us train. Honestly, don't you have some books to read, Hermione?"
"I've read them all."
Ruby rolled her eyes, and Severus muttered to her, "You should have known that."
"If I do say so, you make a very good team," the bookworm added.
Snape turned on her. "Miss Granger, if you do not sit down in the next five seconds, I will take ten points off your house."
Hermione squeaked and shuffled to her seat.
"Why couldn't you just ask her to sit down, Severus?" Remus asked, his jaw muscle twitching a bit.
"Because I've had to deal with her incessant twittering all this morning. It's bad enough I have to deal with Miss Fier"-- "Hey," Ruby, shouted at him, her mouth full of croissant and jam-- "But to deal with Miss Granger in the morning constantly asking questions is enough for me to want to throw a hex at her."
Ruby swallowed her croissant. "So, instead, I get them." She held up her slightly burned arm.
"And I get a glass thrown at my head from three feet away at full Slayer force." Severus pointed to a cut on his forehead above his left eye.
Dumbledore chuckled. "Ah, getting Poppy ready to work first thing in the morning?"
Snape scowled. "I would love nothing more than a normal morning of catching troublemakers first thing in the morning and making their day miserable."
"You need to get a life," Ruby said, dipping another croissant in jam.
"I had a life, until you came along and wrecked it!"
"Really? The way you speak of it, I think I improved it."
Severus' fists were clenching and unclenching.
"If you want to punch me," Ruby started, cockily, "Go ahead and punch me. You've done it before, you should have no trouble doing it again."
It was obvious the man was grinding his teeth in an effort to maintain some semblance of composure. Dumbledore chuckled. "Oh, please do not antagonize him, Ruby. I fear he may have a stroke before his time."
Ruby smiled up at the Potions Master. "I piss you off that much?"
The man turned around, rushed past the students, pushing several out of his way, and exited the building. But, his exit did not stop them all from hearing his shouts and the hexes he threw at the ground in his anger. When he reentered the Great Hall, he still looked like a raging bull, only less constipated, blowing some of the hair out of his face.
Going with the thought of bulls, Ruby said to him, "You know, you should really think about getting a nose ring in the middle of your nostrils. Like what the bulls have. I think it would suit you."
Of course, after all her time spent with Severus Snape, one would think that Ruby would know everything to never say to the man, but as everyone at Hogwarts now knows, Slayers get knocked in the head a lot. And that can lead to memory problems for some. And Ruby couldn't help it if the demons just loved to hit her head all the time. Just as she couldn't grab a bagel instead of a croissant when Severus ripped her out of her seat from her shirt and dragged her outside.
And, as all Watchers or Watcher stand-ins should know, never separate a Slayer from her food.
Because she'll kill you.
Or, in the case of Severus, knock you cold in two seconds flat after being released.
After he was sprawled out on the snow, Ruby spun on her heel, flicked some hair over her shoulder, and walked back into the Great Hall, all mouths open in... fear? admiration? a combination? Whatever. It didn't matter to her. The only thing that mattered to her was that poppy seed bagel. Because if there was to be a drug test, she wanted to fail it without actually having to take the drugs.
And that constipated bull should have known better, anyway.
She sat back down at the staff table, buttered her bagel, and chomped down, everyone watching her. "What?"
Oz blinked. "You just knocked him out. Wow."
Remus frowned. "He's not going to be happy when he regains consciousness."
Ruby smiled. "What's he going to do? Give me detention?"
"I wouldn't put it past him."
"Right, well Mr Constipated Bull can try to give me detention. I'll just say that I can try to chuck something more blunt and heavy at his head than a jar of whatever the hell he keeps in that spooky supply closet. Because I don't think he wants whadaycallit on his robes. Because I wouldn't even want that on the bottom of my shoes."
"Whadaycallit?"
"Yeah. That thing. In the jar. In the supply closet. Next to the other really gross thing and the thing that looks like it came from the inside of... something."
Remus' eyes were wide, and a chuckle was heard from behind them.
"Oh, I really have missed Slayer speak. Buffy's become more and more serious these days, I'm afraid."
They all turned, and Oz smiled. "Hey, Giles. Wesley."
...........................................
My God, I'm lazy.
But, I decided to make this chapter slightly more on the funny side because... I can. And I will.
And I didn't find a Metallica song to put in the chapter!! sob
Oh, well, I think I used enough Metallica songs in my English papers this year for reasons beyond me.
Oh, right. Because I could.
And don't forget to review!!
-Yoshi, the lazy