Ryan slept until Sandy woke him up for dinner. It was great to be able to
eat dinner at the table with everyone. His family. And dinner was just the
way it had always been, with Seth dominating the conversation. This time
it was all about going to the grocery store with Sandy; only Seth could
make a trip to the grocery store funny. As Seth and Sandy debated the
merits of thumping a cantaloupe to test for freshness, Ryan realized just
how happy he was to be home. Yes, he messed up by taking off to Chino with
Teresa, and really messed up when he didn't call any of them. But they
still wanted him home. They still wanted him. It was funny, back in
Chino, with his mother, he would get his ass kicked just for smoking her
last cigarette, but he could royally mess up with the Cohens, and he was
'grounded' for two weeks. And after that, all would be forgiven. Maybe
not forgotten, but definitely forgiven.
Ryan wanted to call Marissa as soon as dinner was over, but Sandy suggested he wait and call her in the morning. Seth and Sandy had stopped at the video store after the grocery store, and it was Cohen Family Movie Night.
Ryan tried not to sound annoyed or ungrateful when he told Sandy, "I thought you said it was okay if I called Marissa."
"You can call her tomorrow. Tonight's movie night. Come on, Seth picked up the entire Terminator series. A night of Swartzenegger. Even Kirsten's excited." Sandy told him.
But Ryan suspected there was something more to why he couldn't call other then it was Cohen Family Movie Night, featuring Governor Swartzenegger.
"Why can't I call her tonight?" Ryan asked.
No one answered, not right away. They all just looked at each other, before Seth finally said, "Ry, she's not home. She's at Holly's. For, you know, one of Holly's things."
One of Holly's things. Ryan knew what that meant. A wild drunken drug filled party. And Marissa was going to it. He knew he had no right to get mad or upset, but he was. Marissa didn't have to answer to him. Not the guy who left her for another girl. A pregnant girl, no less.
"How do you know?" Ryan asked, "She call here? Did she come by?"
"No," Seth told him, "Summer told me. Summer and Marissa haven't been hanging out as much as they used to, so Marrisa's been hanging out with Holly. Going to a lot of Holly's things."
"But Summer will be at the party tonight? I mean, you guys can't go out so she'll be going, too, right?" Ryan asked, hopeful that Summer would be there to watch over Marissa. There was no way he could go to the party, and he knew Seth would not be allowed to go, either. And even though Ryan knew Summer could party with the best of them, as Seth's girlfriend, she no longer partied as much or as hard. So at least Summer could be there and could call them if Marissa needed them. But Seth shook his head and told them all,
"Summer said she had a date with her father instead. She's only gone to a couple of Holly's things this summer and said they were a little too wild for her. Worse then last year, if that's possible."
That did not make Ryan feel any better. He knew what Sandy and Kirsten had said, that Marissa had been out of control this summer. They all assumed that meant just drinking, but Ryan knew it could be more. If she was hanging out with Holly and was still really upset about him leaving, then she could also be into drugs. He needed to go and see for himself.
"You know," he tried to explain, "I could just go over and see if she needs anything. If she's okay, I mean. I won't stay. Just make sure she's not in trouble."
He knew what the answer was going to be even before he said anything.
"No." was Sandy's one word response. It was the answer Ryan had expected.
"Look," Ryan again tried to explain, "I won't stay. I won't even drive. You can drive me over. I'll just go in and make sure she's okay, and then we'll leave."
But Sandy again said, "No."
"Sandy..." Ryan again started. He really wanted to check on Marissa. He just didn't know how he was going to convince Sandy to let him go. He wasn't. There was no way Sandy was going to let him and told him so,
"Ryan. The answer is no. You can't go over there. Marissa can take care of herself, and even if she can't, it's not your responsibility. She has parents. That's their job, just like it's our job to make sure you take care of yourself. So your choices for tonight are simple. Either you watch movies with us, or you go to bed. That's it. No going over to check on Marissa, no trying to call her on the phone. Nothing. Movies or bed. The choice is yours."
"Some choice." Ryan just mumbled as he settled down on the couch to watch Seth's Terminator marathon.
Cohen Family Movie Night turned out not to be as much fun as everyone first thought. They all watched as Ryan slouched down on the couch, his popcorn bowl untouched, arms folded in front of him, staring blankly at the television. It was obvious he wasn't watching the movie, but brooding about Marissa.
Half way through the first movie, Sandy had had enough.
"Ryan," Sandy started, with that tone that told everyone Sandy was about to lecture. Yes, it was probably a well deserved lecture, but Kirsten figured it was a lecture that could wait until the morning,
"Why don't I help you up to bed, Ryan." she interrupted. "It's been a long day for you, and you should probably just go to bed. You can watch the rest of the movies tomorrow."
"Fine. Night." Ryan again mumbled as he got up off the couch and headed out of the den.
"Wait. I'll help." Kirsten told him, "Let me just get your antibiotic and your percocet."
"Just the antibiotic. I don't need the percocet. I'm fine." Ryan said.
But Kirsten shook her head, "No, I think you should take the percocet, too. I can see you're walking a little slow, and you've had a busy day. It's the first day you've been out as well as downstairs. Besides, it will help you sleep better."
Ryan looked at Kirsten. Her tone was friendly enough, but still told Ryan not to argue. He then looked at Sandy. The look on his face told Ryan that he was already pushing his luck and shouldn't attempt any more arguing. "Fine." he said and waited until Kirsten came back from the kitchen.
Neither one of them said anything until they got to Ryan's room. Ryan said a quiet "thanks" after Kirsten handed him the two pills and got him a glass of water from the bathroom. She then stood there and waited until he took both pills.
Ryan assumed that since he took them both, Kirsten would leave when he went into the bathroom. But when he came out, she was still there, waiting for him.
"Good night, Kirsten." he said, hoping she would take the hint, and leave.
Kirsten stared at him for a minute. She had gotten him out of the den to keep Sandy from starting another lecture, and yet all she wanted to do was lecture him herself.
"Did you really think we would have let you go over to Holly's to see Marissa?" she asked him.
"No." Ryan sighed. Not again, he thought. He didn't want another talk. The only talking he wanted to do was with Marissa. "Good night." he added, hoping that would end the talk. But it didn't.
"Then why ask?" Kirsten wanted to know.
Ryan didn't answer. He didn't want to answer. "I thought you wanted me to get some sleep?" he asked instead.
"Then why ask?" Kirsten said again, changing the tone of her voice, to one that expected him to answer.
Ryan sat on the bed and looked away. He didn't know why he asked. He knew the answer would be no, and yet he asked, twice. Ryan was still looking down at his carpet when he heard Sandy say, "Ryan, I think Kirsten asked you a question."
Great, Ryan thought. Tag team parenting. Just what I needed. Like there hasn't been enough talking the past couple of days.
"I'm worried about Marissa." he finally said, "She can get a little... out of control. And I wanted to make sure she was okay. You guys can understand that, can't you? I mean, Kirsten, technically, she is your step sister, I figured you'd be worried too."
"Ryan," Sandy answered, "We are worried about her. But not as worried as we are about you. You are our responsibility, our concern. We're worried about you. Marissa has her own parents to worry about her. I told you before, be there for Marissa, but don't try to save her. She has to decide for herself what's best. And if she can't, then her parents will. And if you can't decide what's best for you, then we will. So I think you should get some sleep and then call Marissa in the morning."
"You don't understand." Ryan mumbled.
"What don't you think we understand, Ryan?" Kirsten asked, "That Marissa is drinking, that she may be doing drugs. We know that. We've been here all summer. I've talked to my father, to Julie, to Jimmy. I know how they feel, too. And I know how you feel, whether you believe that or not. Marissa's behavior is not your fault. You can't blame yourself for her. She made her own choice. Seth left, but Summer didn't start drinking, maybe doing drugs. She was just as miserable. It is not your job, your responsibility to save everyone. You've spent the past two months killing yourself, thinking you needed to rescue Teresa, and now that you're home, you're all set to do the same for Marissa. And we're here to tell you no, Ryan. You can talk to her, let her know you're there for her, but if we think you've set out to save her, we will stop you."
"Fine. Good Night." Ryan quietly said, before he climbed into bed, and rolled on his side, turning his back on the both of them. He wasn't arguing with them. It wouldn't get him anywhere, so he wasn't going to bother.
They both waited for a minute, wondering if there was something more they should say. Sandy finally just sighed and said, "Good night, Ryan. We'll see you in the morning," and Kirsten just stroked the back of his head.
Ryan waited about ten minutes, until he was sure they were gone before he got out of bed to get his cell phone. He dialed Marissa's cell phone number, not sure if she would answer, or if she did, what condition she would be in. She must have had it turned off, so her parents couldn't get in touch with her, since he immediately got her voice mail.
"Hey, it's me. Ryan." he said, "Just wanted to say hi. See how you were doing. Maybe see if you wanted to talk tomorrow. I'll be here. Home. Bye."
Ryan hung up and started to put the phone away when he realized something. If Marissa got his message that night, she might try to call him back, and she would call the home phone. He knew that wouldn't be good. Definitely not good. He picked his phone up and dialed her number again.
"Hey, it's me again," he said, "listen, if you get this message tonight, call my cell phone. Don't try to call me at home. Call my cell phone number. Ok?"
After he hung up for the second time, he realized that calling her probably wasn't such a smart idea. She was at Holly's for a 'thing', which Ryan knew meant she was getting drunk. If she decided to call him, but forgot to call his cell phone, then he'd have to explain again why he didn't listen to them. He'd end up having yet another talk with Sandy and Kirsten. And he knew he'd end up spending even more time in the house.
Ryan lay in bed staring at the ceiling, one hand wrapped around his cell phone. All he wanted to do was talk to Marissa. He didn't want to save her, or anything like that. He just wanted to talk to her. Tell her he was sorry. Tell her he still loved her. Tell her to stop drinking. Stop hurting herself. Just stop what she was doing. He was back. She could talk to him. He could help her with her problems. She didn't need the alcohol, the drugs. He just hoped she would listen, that she wanted him back. That she still loved him, too. He hoped it wasn't too late.
Because of the percocet, Ryan wasn't able to stay awake thinking about it too much longer. He drifted off to sleep and never heard his cell phone ringing. Or the house phone ring ten minutes later. And luckily, he didn't hear Sandy come in right after that and take his cell phone away from him.
Ryan wanted to call Marissa as soon as dinner was over, but Sandy suggested he wait and call her in the morning. Seth and Sandy had stopped at the video store after the grocery store, and it was Cohen Family Movie Night.
Ryan tried not to sound annoyed or ungrateful when he told Sandy, "I thought you said it was okay if I called Marissa."
"You can call her tomorrow. Tonight's movie night. Come on, Seth picked up the entire Terminator series. A night of Swartzenegger. Even Kirsten's excited." Sandy told him.
But Ryan suspected there was something more to why he couldn't call other then it was Cohen Family Movie Night, featuring Governor Swartzenegger.
"Why can't I call her tonight?" Ryan asked.
No one answered, not right away. They all just looked at each other, before Seth finally said, "Ry, she's not home. She's at Holly's. For, you know, one of Holly's things."
One of Holly's things. Ryan knew what that meant. A wild drunken drug filled party. And Marissa was going to it. He knew he had no right to get mad or upset, but he was. Marissa didn't have to answer to him. Not the guy who left her for another girl. A pregnant girl, no less.
"How do you know?" Ryan asked, "She call here? Did she come by?"
"No," Seth told him, "Summer told me. Summer and Marissa haven't been hanging out as much as they used to, so Marrisa's been hanging out with Holly. Going to a lot of Holly's things."
"But Summer will be at the party tonight? I mean, you guys can't go out so she'll be going, too, right?" Ryan asked, hopeful that Summer would be there to watch over Marissa. There was no way he could go to the party, and he knew Seth would not be allowed to go, either. And even though Ryan knew Summer could party with the best of them, as Seth's girlfriend, she no longer partied as much or as hard. So at least Summer could be there and could call them if Marissa needed them. But Seth shook his head and told them all,
"Summer said she had a date with her father instead. She's only gone to a couple of Holly's things this summer and said they were a little too wild for her. Worse then last year, if that's possible."
That did not make Ryan feel any better. He knew what Sandy and Kirsten had said, that Marissa had been out of control this summer. They all assumed that meant just drinking, but Ryan knew it could be more. If she was hanging out with Holly and was still really upset about him leaving, then she could also be into drugs. He needed to go and see for himself.
"You know," he tried to explain, "I could just go over and see if she needs anything. If she's okay, I mean. I won't stay. Just make sure she's not in trouble."
He knew what the answer was going to be even before he said anything.
"No." was Sandy's one word response. It was the answer Ryan had expected.
"Look," Ryan again tried to explain, "I won't stay. I won't even drive. You can drive me over. I'll just go in and make sure she's okay, and then we'll leave."
But Sandy again said, "No."
"Sandy..." Ryan again started. He really wanted to check on Marissa. He just didn't know how he was going to convince Sandy to let him go. He wasn't. There was no way Sandy was going to let him and told him so,
"Ryan. The answer is no. You can't go over there. Marissa can take care of herself, and even if she can't, it's not your responsibility. She has parents. That's their job, just like it's our job to make sure you take care of yourself. So your choices for tonight are simple. Either you watch movies with us, or you go to bed. That's it. No going over to check on Marissa, no trying to call her on the phone. Nothing. Movies or bed. The choice is yours."
"Some choice." Ryan just mumbled as he settled down on the couch to watch Seth's Terminator marathon.
Cohen Family Movie Night turned out not to be as much fun as everyone first thought. They all watched as Ryan slouched down on the couch, his popcorn bowl untouched, arms folded in front of him, staring blankly at the television. It was obvious he wasn't watching the movie, but brooding about Marissa.
Half way through the first movie, Sandy had had enough.
"Ryan," Sandy started, with that tone that told everyone Sandy was about to lecture. Yes, it was probably a well deserved lecture, but Kirsten figured it was a lecture that could wait until the morning,
"Why don't I help you up to bed, Ryan." she interrupted. "It's been a long day for you, and you should probably just go to bed. You can watch the rest of the movies tomorrow."
"Fine. Night." Ryan again mumbled as he got up off the couch and headed out of the den.
"Wait. I'll help." Kirsten told him, "Let me just get your antibiotic and your percocet."
"Just the antibiotic. I don't need the percocet. I'm fine." Ryan said.
But Kirsten shook her head, "No, I think you should take the percocet, too. I can see you're walking a little slow, and you've had a busy day. It's the first day you've been out as well as downstairs. Besides, it will help you sleep better."
Ryan looked at Kirsten. Her tone was friendly enough, but still told Ryan not to argue. He then looked at Sandy. The look on his face told Ryan that he was already pushing his luck and shouldn't attempt any more arguing. "Fine." he said and waited until Kirsten came back from the kitchen.
Neither one of them said anything until they got to Ryan's room. Ryan said a quiet "thanks" after Kirsten handed him the two pills and got him a glass of water from the bathroom. She then stood there and waited until he took both pills.
Ryan assumed that since he took them both, Kirsten would leave when he went into the bathroom. But when he came out, she was still there, waiting for him.
"Good night, Kirsten." he said, hoping she would take the hint, and leave.
Kirsten stared at him for a minute. She had gotten him out of the den to keep Sandy from starting another lecture, and yet all she wanted to do was lecture him herself.
"Did you really think we would have let you go over to Holly's to see Marissa?" she asked him.
"No." Ryan sighed. Not again, he thought. He didn't want another talk. The only talking he wanted to do was with Marissa. "Good night." he added, hoping that would end the talk. But it didn't.
"Then why ask?" Kirsten wanted to know.
Ryan didn't answer. He didn't want to answer. "I thought you wanted me to get some sleep?" he asked instead.
"Then why ask?" Kirsten said again, changing the tone of her voice, to one that expected him to answer.
Ryan sat on the bed and looked away. He didn't know why he asked. He knew the answer would be no, and yet he asked, twice. Ryan was still looking down at his carpet when he heard Sandy say, "Ryan, I think Kirsten asked you a question."
Great, Ryan thought. Tag team parenting. Just what I needed. Like there hasn't been enough talking the past couple of days.
"I'm worried about Marissa." he finally said, "She can get a little... out of control. And I wanted to make sure she was okay. You guys can understand that, can't you? I mean, Kirsten, technically, she is your step sister, I figured you'd be worried too."
"Ryan," Sandy answered, "We are worried about her. But not as worried as we are about you. You are our responsibility, our concern. We're worried about you. Marissa has her own parents to worry about her. I told you before, be there for Marissa, but don't try to save her. She has to decide for herself what's best. And if she can't, then her parents will. And if you can't decide what's best for you, then we will. So I think you should get some sleep and then call Marissa in the morning."
"You don't understand." Ryan mumbled.
"What don't you think we understand, Ryan?" Kirsten asked, "That Marissa is drinking, that she may be doing drugs. We know that. We've been here all summer. I've talked to my father, to Julie, to Jimmy. I know how they feel, too. And I know how you feel, whether you believe that or not. Marissa's behavior is not your fault. You can't blame yourself for her. She made her own choice. Seth left, but Summer didn't start drinking, maybe doing drugs. She was just as miserable. It is not your job, your responsibility to save everyone. You've spent the past two months killing yourself, thinking you needed to rescue Teresa, and now that you're home, you're all set to do the same for Marissa. And we're here to tell you no, Ryan. You can talk to her, let her know you're there for her, but if we think you've set out to save her, we will stop you."
"Fine. Good Night." Ryan quietly said, before he climbed into bed, and rolled on his side, turning his back on the both of them. He wasn't arguing with them. It wouldn't get him anywhere, so he wasn't going to bother.
They both waited for a minute, wondering if there was something more they should say. Sandy finally just sighed and said, "Good night, Ryan. We'll see you in the morning," and Kirsten just stroked the back of his head.
Ryan waited about ten minutes, until he was sure they were gone before he got out of bed to get his cell phone. He dialed Marissa's cell phone number, not sure if she would answer, or if she did, what condition she would be in. She must have had it turned off, so her parents couldn't get in touch with her, since he immediately got her voice mail.
"Hey, it's me. Ryan." he said, "Just wanted to say hi. See how you were doing. Maybe see if you wanted to talk tomorrow. I'll be here. Home. Bye."
Ryan hung up and started to put the phone away when he realized something. If Marissa got his message that night, she might try to call him back, and she would call the home phone. He knew that wouldn't be good. Definitely not good. He picked his phone up and dialed her number again.
"Hey, it's me again," he said, "listen, if you get this message tonight, call my cell phone. Don't try to call me at home. Call my cell phone number. Ok?"
After he hung up for the second time, he realized that calling her probably wasn't such a smart idea. She was at Holly's for a 'thing', which Ryan knew meant she was getting drunk. If she decided to call him, but forgot to call his cell phone, then he'd have to explain again why he didn't listen to them. He'd end up having yet another talk with Sandy and Kirsten. And he knew he'd end up spending even more time in the house.
Ryan lay in bed staring at the ceiling, one hand wrapped around his cell phone. All he wanted to do was talk to Marissa. He didn't want to save her, or anything like that. He just wanted to talk to her. Tell her he was sorry. Tell her he still loved her. Tell her to stop drinking. Stop hurting herself. Just stop what she was doing. He was back. She could talk to him. He could help her with her problems. She didn't need the alcohol, the drugs. He just hoped she would listen, that she wanted him back. That she still loved him, too. He hoped it wasn't too late.
Because of the percocet, Ryan wasn't able to stay awake thinking about it too much longer. He drifted off to sleep and never heard his cell phone ringing. Or the house phone ring ten minutes later. And luckily, he didn't hear Sandy come in right after that and take his cell phone away from him.