Summary: Duo, mentally and physically tired, faces death and realizes what he has to lose in life and what he will miss when his time comes.
Rating: PG-13, I stay on the side of caution. Mild swearing, depression, blood, stuff.
Disclaimer: In this chapter you meet a good side to Will who as I had mentioned in the last chapter is an old "friend" of Duo's. Duo was skeptical but as this chappy goes on well...You'll see now wont ya?
Chapter Five- A Friend Of An Enemy
"'ey, sorry 'bou' everythin.'" Pulling into a parking lot Will stopped the car and looked at Duo expectantly. "You didn't take the pills for me did you?" He asked not moving his eyes from the window. He knew exactly where he was and what he was going to do when he was there but that didn't stop him from dreading the end of his life.
"Na, bu' I know why ya did it. Had ta do wit' Cal an' friends, righ'" Duo finally figured out what Will wanted, he wanted to talk to Duo. This was the first time that he had ever made an attempt to get to know what was in Duo's mind and for some reason he wanted to share something. "Well, that was one of the things that kinda got me started with it, but there was more"
Duo opened the door and stepped into the night air, perfect weather for him to go clubbing. Will quickly followed with a large package that Duo was smart enough not to question about. Both of them walked casually into the bar and up to the counter. At first the bartender would not give Duo a drink of even acknowledge Will until Will showed him the package. When he saw what he wanted he took Duo and Will into a back room where they continued with their talking.
"Wha' else was it? Tha' made ya...." For what seemed like the first time in the mans life he was insecure, Duo felt that there would be many firsts tonight.
"I got stressed again. From everything that has been going on lately. I mean I had quit smoking, which as you can tell I've taken up again. I had quit cutting, which is a big step ya know? I just quit everything and I wanted to recover but...I can't take it when I have people mad at me." Tears formed in his eyes as he continued. "I mean everything just happened so damn fast. I've always had a problem with over medicating myself and I just lost it. I almost kept taking them and taking them and I couldn't stop. Then I remembered the others, my other friends and I just about died there. Will I don't wanna leave them behind but I don't have a choice now. All week I've been trying to forget that I did it and I've been telling myself that I will survive this and stuff but the pessimist inside me has been telling me to give up all along."
"What can I get you guys?" A waiter interrupted the conversation.
"Ge' us some Mike's. Tha' sound good?" Will asked Duo who was now so close to tears it was almost unbearable for the man to look at.
"yeah" A one word answer was all he gave as he waited for the waiter to leave hte table so he could continue and get it all out now.
"Ok I will be back with your drinks in a moment" She smiled sweetly and left the two alone.
"Go on" Will actually wanted Duo to get this out because he knew it would help the troubled boy.
"I'm just so damn scared. This...it is something I've never been close to, death. I've never had to deal with my own death like this and it...freaks me out. Yeah we all know I've gotten myself into situations where I nearly died or something like that but this is so different. At least when I slit my wrists I knew I could heal those wounds quickly but this isn't anything I can make go away. It's something I am going to have to take on and when they aren't talking to me....Why should I? I'm so close to death with no reason to live. They don't know it but they left me alone to die in a desert with no water and no food, and the worst thing is there is no reason to try and find home because frankly there is no home without that feeling. I love them and I don't want to lose them but I don't have a choice here, I don't get to choose my destiny from here."
"Maybe they 'ad given ya a choice when they tried ta ge' ya 'elp" The waiter was coming into the room and Will stopped her from interrupting again by taking the drinks and making her go, promising that if they needed anything he would call her.
"But...That wasn't much of a choice. Infact that made me NOT want to get help. I don't like when people give me all that attention and shit, never have. I just wanted to let them know so that they wouldn't be surprised if anything happened." Opening the bottle and chugging down a good amount Duo actually was looking to Will for help in setting his life straight.
"I'm no' much o' a person at ask for 'elp wit' getting' straight'. As ya can tell from my car. Bu' 'ave ya though' tha' maybe wha' is ta come is ta come?" He asked the boy across from him.
"You mean predestination?" Duo asked picking his head up from its original position on the table.
"Yea, tha' kinda crap. I mean look a' ol' me. I'm still 'live even wit' all the drugs. Jus' remember tha' tomorrow ya could no' wake up an' take advantage of all the fun in the world. Ya love tha' fun shit, so go out tomorrow an' look a' the sun as if it were ya last day on the earth. Jus' don' go over board wit' it. Life throws ya shit an' no one can stop tha' from happenin', bu' ya can make sure the shit doesn't pull ya down into a slump. As for the friend thing, they obviously care for ya if they wen' bu' maybe they've reached their limi' wit' ya. I did wit' old Lexy, 'ence why 'e ain't 'ere an' I am. Yea I still care 'bout the old bastard bu' I jus' go' fed up wit' wha' 'e was doin' to 'imself over tha' female. There is only so long a person can watch their friend kill 'imself. Let 'em go. If they love ya 'nuff they'll know when ya need 'elp and when ya can figh' on your own. 'Less ya never let them see ya strong."
"Yeah..." Silence and drinking took over the table until Will got his fourth. He looked at the next bottle, silently stood up and then pushed the bottle across the table to Duo who just looked at him confused.
"I 'ad 'nuff fo' tonigh'" Was the only comment Will would make before he sat back down and lounged on the chair. He watched Duo drink and drink and on about the twelfth bottle of Mikes he forbade Duo to drink anymore. It wasn't the money issue because him giving the place drugs meant free alcohol for him and anyone else he wanted but it was how dreary the boy had gotten.
Pulling Duo off of a chair and out the door he stopped once to allow Duo a chance to puke, the boy had drank a bit too much. Placing Duo in the back of his car he grabbed a flashlight from the glove box and went to see the puke. All Duo could hear was a loud 'holy shit' and some footsteps jogging back in the direction of the car.
"I'm gunna die, right Will?" Duo asked once Will got back into the car cursing and starting it up.
"If ya don' ge' 'elp then yea ya are" Was the only response that the druggy was going to give him.
After that Duo didn't remember a thing besides waking up in bed with a large hangover.