"I'm so bored," Brooke said to her ceiling as she leaned back on her couch, blowing the hair out of her face. Nathan had told her he needed to go to his uncle's office to work again and of course, this left her alone... at the hotel, with absolutely nothing to do.
Needless to say, she wasn't pleased.
She didn't want to go shopping. She didn't want to watch TV. She didn't want to eat. She didn't want to go to the movies. She didn't want to do anything.
At least, not alone.
And, it seemed all she seemed to be doing these days was being alone and talking to herself. It was getting borderline depressing.
She was Brooke Davis. She wasn't supposed to feel like this. She wasn't supposed to want to be with her verbally abusive more and more. But, she did. Just being in close proximity with him satisfied her needs. She just wanted him.
But, he had been so cold towards her lately, even more so then he usually was. And, it hurt.
She tried to not let it get to her. But, she was human. She had feelings and emotions, despite what some people have said.
She truly cared about Nathan and at some point in their relationship, she thought it was reciprocated.
Now, she wasn't so sure anymore and she really hated that uncertainty. She wasn't supposed to feel like that. She was supposed to be confident.
Nowadays she was just... the girlfriend. The one who stayed at home, alone, wondering where the hell her boyfriend was. Brooke sighed sadly. It had gotten down to this, where she was practically having a conversation with herself. She really needed to get out. She was in New York, why was she indoors?
Because, she was hoping Nathan would call and tell her that he changed his mind. That he didn't want to spend a day in a stuffy office and wanted to see New York with her.
Yesterday, the call never came. She ended up calling him. Today, she had a feeling it wouldn't either.
And, it hurt. It hurt more then it should've.
Brooke had always made it a rule for herself to never love a guy more then he loved her because the person that loved more was the person who got hurt more and who had to work harder to keep the relationship together. She broke the rule once before.
And, now she was breaking it again.
Sighing, her eyes strayed over to the night stand by the bed. A few random things were strewn about and her eyes landed on a business card. It was the business card from the night before.
A twinkle entered Brooke's eyes as an idea came to mind. Picking up the phone, she dialed a few numbers, "Hey, Tracy? Yeah, I need you to find a number for a 'Caitlin Monroe' and I need it, like pronto. Hmm, k," she waited for a few moments before she smiled, "Oooh, that was quick. Thanks, Tracy. Bye."
Hanging up the phone, she dialed the number Tracy, her assistant, gave her and waited for someone to pick up, "Umm, hi. I'm looking for Caitlin Monroe."
"Just a moment, ma'm."
Brooke waited patiently before she was finally patched through.
"Sales department, this is Caitlin, how may I help you?"
"Hi Caitlin," Brooke said with a grin, "This is Brooke."
"Brooke who?" Caitlin asked, confused.
"Davis."
"The model?"
"Yeah."
"Oh," she said surprised, "How the hell did you get this number?"
"My assistant found it for me."
"How?"
"With some nifty programs."
"Oh," Caitlin said after a few moments, "That's umm.. kinda creepy but okay, what can I do for you?"
"I'm bored," Brooke said, sighing heavily.
"Oh, I'm sorry?" She shrugged, "You're in New York. You'll find something to do."
"I don't know anything or anyone though, except you."
Caitlin raised an eyebrow, "Before you even ask what I know you'll ask, let me just tell you the answer is no. I've got work. And, I don't get paid millions like you so I gotta stay here and well, work."
"Oh, come on, please?"
"No," Caitlin said, laughing, "Hell, I don't even know you!"
"That doesn't matter," Brooke said, uncaring, "Come on, I'll pay you a day's worth of pay if you just take off now. Say you need to go take care of your sick grandmother."
"Which would be a lie since you are neither sick nor anything like my granny."
"I'll pay you $300 to take me around town."
Caitlin laughed, "Now, you see, any repsectable person would deny that but hey, I've gotta pay rent and as long as you don't go all kinky on me. We're good."
"I'm taking that as a yes?"
"Yeah, just tell me where to meet you."
"I'm at the Ritz."
"Of course," Caitlin said, slightly sarcastic.
"Shut up and meet me in front in a half hour."
"Sure, thing, granny."
--
"So, as much umm, fun as that was," Haley said as she walked out of the chocolate store, "I'd prefer to do something a little less..." She paused, looking for the right word.
"Personal?" Nathan provided, looking into her eyes.
She felt her breath catch in her throat and silent cursed herself, "Yeah," she said softly. "You wanna go CD shopping?"
Nathan raised an eyebrow, "CD shopping? You couldn't get a little more creative."
"Hey, now," Haley said, laughing, "I'm trying. If you're so great, you think of something."
"You're getting paid to take me around town."
Raising an eyebrow, Haley said, "You make it sound dirty."
Nathan was about to comment before Haley held up her hand.
"Oh, no you don't, no perverted comments from you, thank you very much. Okay, I don't care, we're going CD shopping and we'll find you some decent music."
"I like my music."
Haley scoffed, "Last time I checked, you just lliked listening to pounding which had no rhythm whatsoever."
"Hey, don't diss my music," Nathan said, his tone light.
"Not dissing if I'm telling the truth," Haley pointed out before she hailed a taxi.
"So, tell me, Ms. I Know All About The Best Music, what is considered up to your standards?" Nathan asked, his eyes playful as they walked through the aisles of Virgin Records.
"Well, depends what you like. Alternative, Rap, R&B, Rock, Metal or god forbid," she cringed, "Bubblegum Pop."
"I'm not gay," Nathan said with a raised eyebrow.
"Just checking," Haley said, laughing lightly, "Kidding. Chill. Okay, so what's your flavor?"
"Anything really. I've already got a few R&B and hip-hop CDs, so show me something alternative."
"Are you into the harder stuff or lighter stuff?"
"What's the difference?"
Haley grinned, "Like, do you like lighter stuff like Simple Plan, Good Charlotte, NFG or into the harder stuff like Staind, A Perfect Circle, Finger Eleven."
Nathan looked confused.
"Please tell me you've heard of these bands," Haley said, crossing her arms as she stopped in the middle of the aisle.
"I don't really listen to the radio."
"And, do you not turn on your TV either?"
"What?"
"Okay, obviously you've been living under a rock for the past few years so I'm just gonna pick something out for you." She scanned the aisles for a few moments before she found the CD she was looking for, "Okay, here, Fall Out Boy. They're a little in between. If you like Alternative, you'll like them."
Nathan examined the CD for a few moments before saying, "They better be good."
"They are," Haley said, grinning, "Okay, now, I have to go buy some of my own CDs." She scanned the aisles and picked up a few random CDs .
"So, umm, what songs are good on this?" Nathan asked, holding up the CD.
"Tracks 3, 7, and 11 are good."
"You have a thing for odd numbered tracks?"
Haley laughed, "No, they're just the best songs on that CD. I mean, they're all good but those are the ones that stuck in my head the most."
"I'm still not convinced this is a good CD."
"Geez, skeptic much?" Haley raised an eyebrow, "Here, let's go find one of those earphone thingies so you can preview it." She grabbed the CD from his hand and walked towards a preview machine. When she scanned the CD, it came up unavailible.
"Hmm, should I be worried that Virgin Records doesn't want me to preview this CD?"
She huffed before rolling her eyes, "Just take my word for it, okay? It's good."
"Prove it," Nathan said, smirking.
"How the heck am I supposed to prove it?"
"Sing something."
She scoffed, "Nathan, I'm not going to just sing something right in the middle of the damn record store."
"Scared?"
She raised an eyebrow. She knew what he was doing. He was taunting her and making her rise up to the challenge. If she didn't do this, he would hold it over her head and be satisfied because she let him get the better of him.
"No."
She wouldn't let him win.
What she didn't realize was that, either way, he won.
Taking a deep breath, she sang softly at first, "I'm holding on and holding out to every letter and every grudge." She looked down and paused before continuing, "I pulled myself out of the day we ever had to meet." She swallowed hard before continuing, "Are you through with me?" Looking into his eyes, she sang the next part a little louder, feeling slightly more confident and because, the words held deeper meaning then they both wanted to admit. "And, when it all goes to hell, will you be able to tell me 'I'm sorry' with a straight face?"
He took a small step back, the words to the song hitting him in the heart as he saw the raw pain in her eyes before she tried to cover it up by smiling. It never quite reached her eyes.
"So, that's track 11, convinced it's good yet?"
"Yeah," Nathan said quietly after a few moments, "It's good."
"Right, we should go now."
Neither of them moved.
--
"What are you wearing or better question, what are you not wearing?" Caitlin exclaimed as she watched Brooke descend down the stairs into the main lobby.
"What?" Brooke looked down at her outfit, "What's wrong with it?"
"It's 40 some degrees outside, plus the wind shield. What would convince you to wear a halter top in this weather? You're in New York, not the Bahamas."
"It's not a halter," Brooke defended before turning around, "It's a racerback tank and I've got a jacket," she held out the piece of clothing as proof.
"Right," Caitlin said, unconvinced, "When we get out there, no complaining if you're cold."
Fifteen minutes later, Brooke could no longer keep her mouth shut as she whined with a pout, "I'm so cold!"
Caitlin smirked before shrugging, "Told you. This is what you get for not listening to me. Hello, I've lived here for 5 years. I think I know what I'm talking about."
"Stop gloating," Brooke said annoyed, "Let's go into a store."
"We're not anywhere near the stores you want to go to."
"Whatever, I'll go into any store right now," Brooke said, frowning, "I don't understand why we couldn't have gone by taxi."
"Because, in order to get the feel of New York, you need to enjoy it with a first hand experience, or by walking. Not by watching it all pass away in a car."
Brooke looked at her incredulously, "You're insane."
"I'm the insane girl that's saving your skinny butt from pneumonia," Caitlin said as she dragged Brooke into the store.
"Where are we?"
"Virgin Records. Let's go shopping."
Brooke looked around the store and sighed, "So, this is where you've decided to take me? A CD store. I thought," she mocked, "We were in New York. Nothing's boring here."
Caitlin rolled her eyes, "Or you can go back outside in that piece of material you call a jacket and your halter top."
"It's a racerback tank," Brooke retorted lamely.
"Whatever," Caitlin shook her head, "Come on, let's go check out some of the new DVDs."
"If I had known that this is what we would be doing. I don't think I would've agreed to this...."
Caitlin chose to tune Brooke out as she walked further into the store, her eyes scanning the crowd. She was about to focus her attentions on Brooke when something caught her eye. She could've sworn she just saw that Nathan guy that she met at the club yesterday. Frowning, she squinted and saw that it really was him. What was he doing here and why wasn't Brooke with him?
Turning back to Brooke, she asked, "Hey, if you hate hanging out with me so much why aren't you with your boyfriend?"
Brooke sighed in annoyance, "He's working. Stupid jerk." She looked at Caitlin and smiled, "I don't hate hanging out with you. It's just... picking out movies and CDs is not my idea of fun."
Caitlin turned back in the direction of Nathan and frowned when she saw that he was gone. Had she just imagined him? Maybe...
Damn, she needed more sleep.
"Okay, okay, I'm gonna buy a birthday gift real quick and then we'll leave, alright?"
"Can we ride in a taxi?" Brooke asked. giving Caitlin her best smile.
Caitlin shook her head, "Okay, whatever. But, you're paying for it." She walked further into the DVD aisle as she searched for the movie while Brooke stood by a display, checking out a few new CDs. Finding the movie, Caitlin grabbed it as her eyes wandered the store.
She paused. Wait, did she just see Haley? Frowning, her eyes squinted as she saw her roomate standing in the middle of a CD aisle, staring straight into Nathan's eyes, neither of them moving. Rubbing her eyes, she blinked a few times and saw that, yes, they really were there.
What the heck was going on?
She thought Nathan was working and Haley would be too. Unless, Haley was told to lead Nathan around town again. But, that couldn't be possible since Nathan was supposed to be working... or at least, that's what he told Brooke.
Realization hit Caitlin hard as her eyes strayed over to the model who was unaware of anything around her. She felt a slight pang of sympathy in her heart, knowing from just their actions and how she spoke, how much Brooke cared for Nathan.
But, if he lied to her and was spending the day with Haley, his ex girlfriend, things couldn't be good. Or right.
This was messy.
Walking up to Brooke, Caitlin tapped her on the shoulder and waved the DVD in the air, "Okay, got it," she nodded towards the registers, "We can leave now."
"Oh, thank god. Finally."
Giving her a small smile, Caitlin followed Brooke as they walked towards the check out line. She glanced back once again at Haley and Nathan, a few questions forming in her mind.
--
"So, where are we going now?" Nathan asked as they walked out of the record store.
Haley looked down at her watch, surprised at the time, "Wow, it's already 3:00."
"Already?" Nathan said, surprised, "Well, so what? We've still got time to blow."
"I've gotta get back to the office."
"But, I th-"
"I know, day off. Well, Mr. Scott doesn't just give me copying work to do. I've got a few files to run over and reports to finish up before tomorrow. I didn't expect it to be so late."
Nathan nodded in understanding, "So, you're leaving," he paused, "Again."
Frowning, Haley looked at him in confusion, refusing to let the deeper meaning sink in, "I guess. I'll umm, see you around. This was fun."
She didn't mean it. The last thing she wanted at the moment was to see Nathan again. It wasn't so much that she hated him or was getting sick of him. It was the lack of those emotions that scared her. Being in his presense brought back so many memories and feelings of what they had. Feelings of something deep.
She hadn't experienced anything like that since him.
And, that scared her before. And, it still scared her now. She felt so much when she was around him. She felt... alive.
But, their relationship was in the past. This was the present. She couldn't let the two collide and entangle in one another.
As much as she wanted to.
"Wait," Nathan said suddenly, "Will you have dinner with me tomorrow night?"
Haley looked at him uncertain, "Nathan, I don't think that such a good idea."
"Why not? Just a friendly dinner. We'll get reacquainted. All of us. I'll bring Brooke and we could just," he sighed, reaching desperately for something to convince her, "talk?"
Haley laughed and shook her head, "I don't-"
"Please, Haley," Nathan said quietly.
Nathan rarely ever said please. And he almost never begged. It was because of that fact that when he finally did do these things, it reached deeper into her heart. He truly wanted this, she could tell by the look in his eyes and the sincerity in his words.
To any other girl, a man as handsome as Nathan Scott being so intensely sincere should've been faint-inducing. But, to Haley, it only scared her and pushed her away further.
She couldn't do this again. She promised herself she wouldn't let him get to her or fall for his charms.
It was so hard though.
"I can't," Haley apologized, "I'm sorry."
He straightened, replacing his face with a stoney composure, "Don't."
"I'll see you-"
"Whatever, " Nathan said coldly as he turned away, walking down the street away from her. She had rejected him again. He should've been used to it by now.
But, he wasn't. And, this time, the pain seemed to go deeper and penetrate through the entire body.
Haley stood in the middle of the street, her arms hanging limply by her side as she whispered, "Goodbye."
--
"Rough day?" Caitlin asked, not looking up from her magazine as she heard Haley come in.
"That obvious?" Haley muttered as she dropped her bags on the floor, "I got the pleasure of leading Nathan around the city again."
"Uh huh," Caitlin said with a raised eyebrow, "Virgin Records?"
"Yeah," Haley said, surprised and confused, "How'd you-" She paused, "You were there?"
"Brooke called." She began to explain, "Found my work number somehow and asked me to take her around the hot spots. I wanted to teach her a little lesson so, I let her walk outside in her thin ass jacket and she got cold so we went into Virgin. I needed to buy a gift anyway. And, well, I saw him and then I saw you. And, then I saw him and you," Caitlin raised an eyebrow, "Something you wanna tell me?"
"Tell you what?" Haley asked, trying to sound innocent.
"Why there was that whole intense 'I can't take my eyes off of you cuz you're the love of my life' stare?"
She swallowed hard and shrugged, "I don't know what you're talking about."
"Haley James, you are a lot of things. A good liar, you are not," Caitlin said as she raised an eyebrow.
Haley shook her head, "Fine, maybe you're right but I just," she sighed heavily, "I don't want to talk about it."
"I'm not here to interrogate, okay?" Caitlin said gently, "I just worry. He's not exactly the most honest of people."
"What do you mean?" Haley asked, confused.
"I think he lied to Brooke about where he was. She thought he'd been working the past two days when he was really-"
"Going around town with me," Haley finished, "Oh, god, that'll sound so bad if she finds out." Her eyes widened, "You didn't-"
"Oh, no. I'm not that dumb," Caitlin said with a laugh. She paused and examined Haley, "Why the sad look?"
"It seems everytime we part, we leave each other on bad terms."
"What happened now?"
"Well," Haley sat down on the couch tiredly, "He asked me to dinner with him and Brooke and god, could that get more awkward? I don't know but I think he was really stretching it with that one. I mean, he wanted to get together to 'talk'," she did air quotes with her fingers. "I mean, really, "talk"?" She rolled her eyes, "I can already picture how that conversation will turn out."
Caitlin grinned, "Since when did you get so pessimistic?"
"I've always been this pessimistic," Haley said, sighing.
"You're such a liar. You're usually all, 'oh, yes, this could work.' or 'don't give up now' and well, now, you're all," Caitlin paused, looking for the right word, "Icky."
"Have I ever told you you're wonderful for my ego?" Haley asked sarcastically.
"Hey, no need to get all cynical here," Caitlin said, raising her hands in defeat, "I think you should go."
"You're insane," Haley said simply.
"Hey, that's the second time someone's said that to me today."
"That should tell you something."
"Hey, no comments are needed from the peanut gallery," Caitlin said grinning, "Seriously, though. I mean, you can't ignore them forever."
"Yes, I damn well can."
"Haley," Caitlin said, giving her a serious look, "You can hide all you want but you'll always be thinking of it and if not intentionally, then I will remind you every damn day."
"You're insane," Haley repeated.
"Why, thanks, I love you too," Caitlin said, slightly sarcastic.
"Hey, being cynical is my job."
"Well, it's infectious," Caitlin said with a pout, "See, now I'm all icky too. Damn, this is all your fault. Okay, you owe me so let's go to dinner with them. I'll just tag along."
"I'm not sure if that's such a good idea."
"What is this, Rugrats?" Caitlin asked, "Oh, come on, you know Rugrats! Don't make me start singing."
Haley raised an eyebrow, "How old are you?"
"Not 50, unlike you," Cailtin commented with a raised eyebrow, "And, if it's really that bad then okay, we'll bail. I'll be there for you."
"This is such a bad idea," Haley said unsurely.
"That's a yes then?"
"Yeah, I guess," Haley said quietly before asking, "How am I supposed to reach him?"
"See, nowadays we have a thing called a phone," Caitlin started.
"Thank you," Haley gave her a menacing look, "I don't know his number and he probably hates me." She paused, "And what if he-"
"Okay, that's it," Caitlin said, pointing a finger at Haley, "The words, probably and what if are banned from your vocabulary. It's called 411, the internet, and a little thing called a girly apologetic voice."
"I'm not groveling or apologzing," Haley said determined.
"Stubborn much?" Caitlin rolled her eyes, "Okay, if you won't do it for the sake of your own sanity and mine, will you do it for the free food?"
Haley laughed lightly, "Fine. Fine." She pointed an acccusing finger at Caitlin, "If this doesn't work, it's all your fault."
"Fine, fine, blame it all on the innocent bystander then."
Haley grinned and picked up the phone, "Hello? 411, yes, I'm looking for a number for the," she paused, "Wait, what hotel?"
"Ritz," Caitlin whispered back.
"The Ritz Carlton hotel. Hmm. Okay. Yeah, thanks." A few minutes and transfers later, the phone line was ringing and Haley latched onto her phone nervously, waiting for someone to pick up.
And, someone did.
"Hello?"
He sounded mad. Wasn't it a bad sign that even though she didn't even say anything yet, he already sounded mad? Surpressing her childish fears, she said calmly, "Nathan?"
"Haley?" He sounded surprised before the tone disappeared, "What is it?"
"I just umm," Haley sighed, "Okay, screw it. I just wanted to say, I'm sorry for this afternoon and I'd really like to get a bite to eat with you and Brooke."
The phone line remained quiet as Haley latched onto the phone even tighter, not understanding why he wasn't saying anything.
"Nathan?" She asked after a few moments.
"Uhh, yeah," his voice was slightly dazed, "Is tomorrow okay with you?"
Haley laughed lightly, "Tomorrow's Friday, Nathan. How do you plan to make reservations this late?"
She could practically hear his smirk over the phone as he answered, "Oh, I always find a way."
"Okay, so, where are we going then?"
"I don't know yet," Nathan paused, "How about we meet for lunch and well, talk about it?"
Her urges to say 'no' struck her mind but she surpressed them, remembering Caitlin's earlier words. She had to be strong. She could handle Nathan. She had to prove to herself that she had moved on from the past. The only way to do that is to face Nathan. Caitlin was right, she couldn't ignore him. She may not see him physically.
But, he would still always be there. In the back of her mind, just like he had been for the past 6 years.
So, that was all this was, a chance to forget him and move on, once and for all.
Haley smiled to herself reassuringly, "Sure. I'll meet you in front of your hotel at noon."
"Okay," Nathan said, still surprised, "I'll see you soon."
"Bye."
She hung up the phone, a small smile on her face.
--
"Who was that?" Brooke asked, walking out of the bathroom, her hair wet from the shower.
"Nobody," Nathan said quietly as he sat on the edge of the bed, leaning his elbows on his knees.
He felt Brooke crawl on top of him and wrapped her arms around his neck and then moved them down his chest towards his belt buckle. She leaned in and kissed his ear, all the way down to his neck.
While his body felt stimulated, his heart wasn't in the right place. This just didn't feel right. Nothing with Brooke felt right anymore. They haven't felt right in awhile, if ever.
This was just... wrong.
Pushing her away gently, Nathan said, "Not now, Brooke."
She ignored him and continued kissing him, "Oh, come on, baby. I missed you today."
His mind was elsewhere though and he was barely even paying attention to what Brooke was babbling into his ear. His mind.. was on her. Haley. His mind was on the way she laughed. The way she talked. The way she sang. The way her lips moved as she grinned. The curve of her mouth as she sang with an open heart. He couldn't get her off of his mind and somehow, what was happening with Brooke right now.. just felt like betrayal.
But, he wasn't betraying Haley. They weren't together and they haven't been for 6 years. A part of him still felt like he belonged to her though and vice versa. He didn't want that feeling to go away, even though it should've.
Sighing, he pushed Brooke off of him as he stood up, "I need a drink." Walking out of the hotel room and down to the bar, he never looked back as he closed the door.
Brooke sat back on the bed, surprised at what had just happened. She felt the tears sting her eyes as she covered herself up with her robe, feeling nothing more then a rejected and cheap whore.
Why did she let him do this to her?