"He's not worth it," Brooke said suddenly as they walked down the streets of New York at a fast pace.

Caitlin slowed at her words before she raised an eyebrow, "You seemed to think he was."

"I know now that for me, he isn't. He's not worth throwing away the friendship you and Haley have."

"It seems like that's not my decision to make," Caitlin said, her tone angry.

"Partially it is. Don't let him get between you two. Right now, he's probably back there comforting her and she's softening up to him. Don't let him do that."

Caitlin laughed suddenly, rolling her eyes, "So, what? This is some big conspriacy?"

"He's a jerk. I know this from first hand experience. When he wants something, he'll go after it," Brooke said truthfully, "He's determined."

"And, what makes you think I can stop him?"

"I don't," she said honestly, "But, you have to try."

"She won't listen to me."

"You don't know that."

Caitlin shrugged before looking down at the ground, her eyes sad, "Yeah, I think I do."

"You're her best friend," Brooke argued.

"And, he's her first and maybe, 'true' love," Caitlin said, the sarcasm obvious in her tone.

"But, you have to-"

"Look," Caitlin interuppted, "I don't know what kind of deal you and Nathan have here and honestly, I don't want to know. What's between me and Haley is between me and Haley. Don't use me to get back at him. I don't like Nathan but I don't think he's that big of a dick to push me out of the way completely just to mess with Haley."

Brooke raised an eyebrow, unconvinced, "He'll just screw with her again, I know he will. It's exactly what he did with me."

"She believes in him. I trust her. I'm going with that. Besides, I tried telling her and she didn't listen. I'm not going to argue that any further, there's no point."

Brooke bit the inside of her lip and shook her head, "I'm worried for her."

Caitlin snorted as she crossed her arms, "No, you're not." Her eyes narrowed, "You just want revenge."

Brooke paused for a moment before she sighed, "Okay, so what if I do, there's nothing wrong with that."

"The vengeance," Caitlin said as she walked a few steps closer to Brooke, "It's what keeps you going now because it's all you have left. Just don't let it consume you."

Brooke was silent for a few moments before she nodded and looked at her companion seriously, "Do you hate me now?"

"No," Caitlin replied, "It's understandable and besides, you pull anything with Haley just to get to Nathan, you can't even imagine what I'll do to you."

"You walk a fine line, Ms. Monroe."

"I'm used to it by now."

--

What was she doing?

Haley's eyes snapped open as the thought ran through her head for the millionth time that day. She always seemed to refuse to answer that question every time she asked herself. She never really gave a straight answer. It was always, 'I don't know' or 'I'm confused'. But, she couldn't lie to herself. Not completely, at least.

What was she doing?

What had happened a few minutes ago was the beginning of a breakdown to a 5 year friendship. And, why was it occuring? Because of Nathan.

Haley took a step forward, pushing his hands off of her as a shortness of breath came upon her. No, it wasn't because of Nathan. It was because of herself. She could blame Nathan or anybody else on this earth as much as she wanted but in the end, the truth would still remain. This was her own fault. She had gotten herself into this mess and she had to get herself out of it.

She wanted to help Nathan, she knew there would be repercussions and yet, when they came, she couldn't handle them. She simply pushed it aside, hoping that it would fix itself.

What was she doing?

She was losing her control and her grip on all that was important. She could feel her priorities begin to slip away as the chaos of emotions surrounded her. She didn't know what she was doing. Now the question becomes, did she ever?

Did she know what she was doing when she broke up with Nathan all those years ago? Did she know what she was doing when she went to college with a broken heart and teary eyes? Did she know what she was doing when she shut her past out and try to rebuild a new life in New York? Did she know what she was doing when she began to let Nathan back in?

No. She didn't.

She never knew. She had made so many mistakes in the past that they all dominoed and now, she was enduring the lasting effect of it all. She had to stop it.

She couldn't make another mistake because it felt like she only had one chance left. She was standing at the edge and one more mistake would push her over. She couldn't fall over.

"You're shaking."

The words brought the outside world crashing in as Haley whipped around, her body moving backwards.

"Haley?"

"I can't do this, Nathan," she whispered. "I can't help you," she shook her head incredulously, "I can't even help myself anymore."

His brow furrowed in confusion as the uncertainty clouded his eyes, "Haley, are you-?"

"I tried," she nodded vigorously, "I did and I wanted to help because I thought that if I did, it would make things better and it would help you because you were so lost but I can't, I can't." She took in a deep breath, "I want to but I can't."

"Haley," Nathan said sharply, bringing her attention to him. He took a step closer and grabbed her arms firmly but gently, "You don't have to save me. I don't expect you to."

"Then," she said quietly, "Then, what do you want from me?"

Nathan let her go quickly and leaned against the kitchen counter, letting out a heavy sigh, "I don't want anything from you."

Haley shakily pushed a strand of hair out of her face as she shook her head, "Yes, you do. Don't lie."

He looked up at her, "You know what I want."

"Do I?" She asked, her voice slightly demanding, "Hell, an hour ago you barely knew what you wanted and now you expect me to what? Read your mind?"

"Then, what kind of answer do you want from me, Haley?" He asked, his tone harsh, "It feels like my whole world is just disintergrating into nothing but I still know one thing and that's you. I know you and I want you and you know damn well, you want me too."

She shook her head, utterly confused.

"But, I can't have you. Remember?" He whispered coldly, "You said that you wouldn't walk away again but here you are, doing it again. You won't stop, Haley James. You can't. Because you will always be scared."

"Don't you dare start getting all self righteous on me! Do you remember why this ended in the first place?"

"You broke it off."

"Why Nathan?" She nearly screamed, "Why do you think I did? Because I was hurting and because I couldn't take it anymore. I didn't just stop loving you all of a sudden after I said it was over. All these years, you probably still think it was my fault and that it was all me, right?" She demanded, "Blame it all on me but you had a part of it too. A relationship isn't a one way street, Nathan, it was every bit your fault as it was mine."

"And you didn't do the same?" Nathan retorted, "Stop being such a hypocrite, Haley. You probably did the same thing, telling all your friends about your jerk of an ex boyfriend who broke your heart into a thousand little pieces."

Haley was on the verge of crying as her face scrunched up in pain, "I couldn't talk about you. Not even to Caitlin."

The admission dissipated all the anger within Nathan, leaving a hollow pain inside him. He watched as Haley fell to her knees, sitting on the kitchen floor, trying her best to hold back the sobs. This was her breakdown.

It was his fault.

It was almost funny how quickly the tables turned. Only a few hours ago, he was in her position and she in his. Now, it was his turn. As he bent down, a feeling of realization came upon him. There was no solid stance of position in who was helping who. They were both helping each other. Helping each other move on and accepting the past. Perhaps, blindly but helping nonetheless.

Nathan pushed the hair out of her face as he leaned in, letting her into his arms, whispering meaningless comforting words into her ear.

--

"So, what's your deal?"

Caitlin raised an eyebrow as she stuffed a big spoonful of ice cream into her mouth. The vanilla melted slowly and she silently savored the softness and sweetness of the flavor before she answered Brooke's question, "What do you mean?"

Brooke snorted before she took a bite out of her apple pie, "You know exactly what I mean. What's your deal, you know, your story." She shrugged, "You certainly know mine. Seems fair that I know yours too."

"You're one of those 'eye for an eye' people, aren't you?"

"Good call," Brooke said, laughing lightly as she took a sip out of her milkshake, "I'm going to get fat," she pouted and frowned momentarily, "This is your fault."

Caitlin rolled her eyes, "Yeah, okay, so you gain like what? A pound? You need it, believe me, you do."

"I'm going to take that as a compliment," Brooke smiled sweetly before she demanded, "So, story."

"I have no story," Caitlin said honestly, "I'm not like you North Carolina types. I don't have some big, elaborate, secret past filled with lies, deceit, love, and pain," she said, her voice dramatic, "I'm just me, average, simple girl from Chicago."

"So, no first love or messed up high school experience?"

"Oh, no," Caitlin laughed, "I had those. I had plenty of those but not to the point of well, Nathan and Haley. They seem to be a little on the extreme side."

"That's the understatement of the year," Brooke muttered.

"You knew about their whole deal, right?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean," Caitlin eyed her carefully and Brooke nodded unwillingly.

"Yeah," she sighed, "I did."

"So, why'd you even bother trying with Nathan?"

Brooke looked away sadly before she shrugged, "You can't control love, right?"

Caitlin remained silent for a few moments before she waved her hands about, "Okay, enough moping. This was not what we set out to do."

"Right," Brooke said, trying her best to smile widely, "I've got us invites to a party tonight."

"Score."

--

Her fingers were turning white.

She gripped hard at his chest as she tried her best to hold back the tears. God, she couldn't cry. Why was it so hard? The past was the past and it shouldn't have affected her so much. It shouldn't have hurt so much. She had already been through all of this. She should've been able to handle this.

But, she couldn't.

She couldn't handle it and she had to accept the consequences the hard way. Haley gasped loudly as she closed her eyes tightly, willing the tears away. She could feel the memories pour from her heart, flooding her entire body. Everything that she had surpressed in the last six years were coming back to her. Coming back to suffocate her.

Even the good memories seemed tainted, a mistake, wrong in some way or manner. She couldn't think of them highly, not when she was drowning in the confusion that was now. The situation she was in. What was right and what was wrong? What was she supposed to do? What could she do to fix everything?

She had no clue. She had no idea where to start. She didn't even know if there was a solution. But, she had to try. Right? She was so tired of trying. Ever since she could remember, she had been everyone else's hope. The one that never gave up. The one that kept everyone else going. And, now, she was the one that needed that hope.

Who could she expect it from? Nathan?

He was trying his best to keep his head up out of the water, to keep from drowning. She was only dragging him down. Or maybe it was the other way around.

She didn't know anymore.

The confusion began to hit her hard as the slip of reality she had been clinging onto so desperately shattered in front of her face. She could see it all falling away and there was absolutely nothing she could do to prevent it.

It was gone. Normal was officially gone.

That seemed utterly familiar, to be 'miles from normal'. She remembered when it first occured, so many years back with her and Lucas. Their integration into the 'popular' crowd and the perks of being a basketball superstar and his best friend. She remembered how she missed it when things were simple.

She also remembered how happy she was that things did change. Because, they did. And, she had to accept that. She thought she had learned to go with the flow, to accept change and to adapt to it.

Perhaps, she never did. Because, if she did, she would've handled the whole situation better. She would've adjusted to the change and the impact that Nathan had on her life by appearing again.

Change was different. The question was, was different bad or good?

Haley looked up at Nathan with teary eyes, her lips pursed in a straight line. And for the first time, she saw the difference in his face. The wrinkle lines on his forehead, the darkness under his eyes, the tenseness of his jaw and the dryness of his lips. She lifted up her hand and felt the roughness of his skin.

And, yet, he was still the most handsome man she had seen in her entire life.

The blue of his eyes darkened at her movement and she could see the confusion clouding his beautiful eyes. Letting out a deep sigh, she whispered, "How do we move on?"

Nathan paused for a moment, quiet and contemplating. 5 words. One simple question. So many answers, both complex and simple in nature. How was he supposed to answer that? It was the determining factor in how things were going to be. He couldn't mess this up. And, yet, it felt like he was on the edge, about to fall off the cliff into the depths of darkness. He couldn't fall, not again, not when he was finally starting to get back up again.

One question.

What was the right answer?

--

"Should I be scared?"

Caitlin raised an eyebrow at Brooke's question as she walked up the stairs to her and Haley's apartment. "Scared about what?"

"Well, the last and first time I went into your apartment, the tension was just a tad bit over the boiling point," Brooke cocked her head to the side and smirked, "Not that I don't like tension. It's fun but right now, I don't want to deal with Nathan and the train wreck that is him."

"We'll be brief. In and out type of deal."

Brooke scoffed, "Brief? That's believable."

"Look, I'll just grab my favorite party clothes and I'll do my makeup and hair at your hotel room."

Brooke looked down at that comment as she sighed heavily, "I really don't want to go back there."

"You live there, well, for the next few weeks at least."

"I just," she shrugged her shoulders weakly, "I want to get away from it. All of it."

"So, you just plan to not go back to your hotel room, for like, what, ever?"

"No, just for tonight. I want out."

"Denial?" Caitlin looked slightly surprised.

"Why the shock?"

"Didn't figure you for the type."

Brooke laughed at her words, "Oh, I'm the type for all of it. Betrayal, denial, deceit, envy, gluttony, vanity," She grinned, "Every bad little thing that your mother warned you about, I'm all for it."

"Naughty."

"I try."

"Okay," Caitlin said with a small smile, "You ready?" Her hand was on the doorknob, her keys in hand.

"This is pathetic," Brooke muttered before she rolled her eyes at Caitlin's expecting glance. "Yeah, yeah," she ceded, "I'm ready."

Laughing, Caitlin opened the door, stumbling slightly inside. The smile disappeared from her face when she saw Nathan and Haley. Her expression fell even further when she turned around and saw Brooke, or rather, a brown blur rushing out the door and down the hallway of the apartment building.

Caitlin looked back at the dishelveled couple and then back at the now empty doorway. "And, it all falls down."

--

It was a sign.

Nathan had decided that. After all, his karma couldn't have been that bad. He didn't screw that many people over. It wasn't possible that the one moment, the one chance he had of possibly making things better could be interrupted.

It was just a moment. And, it was gone.

Haley was out of his arms. She was standing in the hallway now, talking to Caitlin.

He didn't hear her words, it all just slurred together. He simply sat in the kitchen, his mood calm, his face blank. Just a moment.

This wasn't how it was supposed to happen. They weren't supposed to be interuppted. Haley had finally opened up to him and he was supposed to rescue her or something like that. He was supposed to make things better. He was supposed to help her and he was going to. But, then, things just stopped.

The moment was gone.

He could still smell her perfume in the air around him and he could still feel the warmth against his fingertips. Nathan stood up slowly as he leaned against the kitchen counter, watching as Haley and Caitlin discussed something or other.

It felt so surreal. So fast. Time had picked up somehow, things had fast forwarded and he was struggling so hard to catch up.

One thing remained constant. One thought.

We move on together.

--