"You're cuddling with him?"

Haley rolled her eyes as she crossed her arms defensively, "I wasn't cuddling! We were discussing something."

"On the kitchen floor?" Caitlin asked incredulously, "It's called a couch! A chair, a stool, even!"

"This is so not the point."

"Then what is?"

Haley looked down, not wanting to answer the question, "Why do you care so much?"

"Because you're my best friend and I don't want to see you get hurt."

"I'm not going to get hurt," Haley said slightly frustrated, "And, even if I do get hurt, so what? I make mistakes but at least they're my own. I don't need a babysitter."

Caitlin raised an eyebrow as she took a step back, "I'm just looking out for you."

"I know," Haley said, nodding, shaking her head in confusion, "I don't know what I'm saying. Just don't listen to me. Things are a mess. I'm a mess. I don't know what I'm doing. God, I'm sorry. I'm just-"

"Haley, stop," Caitlin raised a hand and touched her shoulder gently, "Just breathe."

"I can't. I can't breathe. I can't do anything. I just feel my whole world slipping away and there's nothing-" Haley stifled her outburst before she closed her eyes tightly. "I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing," Caitlin said quietly as she hugged Haley gently.

"I'm messing up, Caity," Haley murmured softly.

"We all do it," she smiled reassuringly.

"Thank you," she said softly as she nodded towards the open door, "Go after her. She needs you more then I do right now."

Caitlin sighed deeply before nodding, "What a great way to spend my weekend."

Laughing quietly, Haley watched as Caitlin ran down the stairs. With her hand gripping the door, Haley closed it gently, not wanting to turn around. For a moment, things were normal again. It was just her and Caitlin. Laughing and comforting each other, supporting each other. It was just the girls. It was comfortable and easy. It was safe.

Nathan wasn't.

Haley leaned her forehead against the cool wood of the door, breathing in deeply.

Safety. It was something she so desperately craved and wanted.

Was it what she needed?

Want. Need. The lines were all blurring together now. The past with the present. Nothing stayed still. Nothing was clear.

Clarity. Another thing she so desperately craved. Something that she had been so sure she needed.

She couldn't tell the difference anymore. Nothing was concrete. Nothing was positive. Everything was all shades of grey, the black and white had faded together.

Turning around slowly, Haley lifted her eyes cautiously to meet Nathan's. She was sure he could see the question still reflecting from her eyes.

Did he have an answer?

--

Where do we go from here?

The small phrase kept repeating itself over and over again in her head as Haley stood there in the hallway of the apartment, silent and waiting. He wasn't saying anything.

No movement. No answer.

What was she supposed to do now? It was his move, not hers. And, yet... it all felt so awkward, so forced. She needed to know. She deserved to know. What was supposed to happen now? How were they supposed to move on?

Wasn't that the whole point to all of this? To move on. To accept the pain, deal with the misery and maybe move on from it? That was how things were supposed to be. How things were supposed to go.

But, it just wasn't happening that way.

They were at a standstill yet again and this time, Haley had already made her move. It was all up to Nathan. She looked at him intently, her eyes silently urging to say the words she needed to hear. Something.

Anything.

Anything but the silence. It was deafening, cracking through the air like thunder, slowly breaking down her resolve and the confidence she managed to muster up.

She needed... something.

But, nothing came.

--

"This is cliche."

Caitlin stopped in her steps as she rested her arm against the staircase railing, her eyes affixed on the brunette a floor down from her. "Chasing after you after a big, dramatic scene?"

Brooke nodded silently and Caitlin took a hesitant step down. "You North Carolina types certainly bring some excitement into life," she said with a small laugh, taking another step down. Her heel made a distinct click with the step and Brooke immediately tensed up.

"I should've expected that?"

"What? Nathan and Haley?"

Again, Brooke was silent. That was answer enough.

"Yeah, you should've," Caitlin ceded with a sigh. "It doesn't make it hurt less."

"No, it really doesn't," Brooke answered quietly before she shrugged weakly, "I was so looking forward to pretending and getting over this drama." She paused, "Even if it was just for an hour or so."

"You just haven't had enough time to," she stopped herself, looking for the right word, "deal."

"Deal," Brooke snorted, "Is that what I'm supposed to be doing now? How about starting with the basics? Like, maybe being able to breathe without it feeling like somebody is stabbing my heart with broken glass?"

Caitlin clamped her mouth shut at those words, looking down uncomfortably, "I really don't know what to say to that."

"You don't have to say anything," Brooke said dully.

"I should though. Some advice. Some words to make you feel better."

"They're just words."

Caitlin took another hesitant step down, slightly relieved when Brooke kept her calm and ground. She took another step before Brooke's voice stopped her.

"I don't want you to comfort me. I don't want your sympathy. I don't need it."

"It's not pity."

"It's fragile and weak," Brooke spat, "I'm not like that anymore."

"You're shutting down," Caitlin observed quietly.

"Maybe I am," Brooke turned around, "It hurts less that way."

--

She had to say something. It had been too long. Wasn't there a rule of some sort? After ten seconds of silence, someone should just break the silence with a phrase, a question, anything. Just something to drive away the awkward silence.

"I'm gonna go," her mind blanked out on her mid sentence and Haley struggled for words, her hand pointing limply in any random direction, "Over there."

Haley quickly rushed past the kitchen and into the living room, about to walk into her own room when Nathan's voice stopped her.

"Together," he blurted out finally.

Haley turned around and looked at him in confusion, her brow furrowed, "What?"

"Together," he said with a sigh, "We move on together." He looked at her intensely, searching for any sign of acceptance or rejection or just.. a reaction.

The surprise was etched all over her face as Haley slowly regained the ability to speak. "Together?" she asked hesitantly.

"I know, we've both messed up and I just, I don't care about it anymore. I don't want to think about it anymore. I just, I want you." Nathan said with a frustrated sigh, "I just want you."

Haley looked at him quietly before she took a step forward. She took his hand in hers and continued to study him, her eyes soft and gentle.

He cocked his head to the side in confusion, about to open his mouth to speak when she stopped him.

She placed her fingers upon his lips and silenced him, shaking her head. A small smile crept onto her face as she held his hand in hers.

She could feel it again.

The questions, the contemplative answers. They were all coming back to her. Musings that she's thought of over the years, they were coming back to her at random. She didn't pause to think, why, exactly so many random things were drifting through her mind.

The truth was, she was trying her best to focus. Trying her best not to focus on the fact that Nathan Scott had just said the words she wanted to hear for 6 long years. She had to think about something else, something other then this. She knew that if she began to analyze, focus, and think.. it would be ruined.

That was what always happened, wasn't it?

She would over analyze, find something wrong and run away. Now, in this moment, more then ever, she wanted to stay. She did not want to find something wrong with the situation and then proceed to pick it apart, piece by piece and finally come to the conclusion that it just wasn't worth it.

The pain that is.

She had gone through so much emotional realization within the short period of time she had spent with him and while some may think that was bad, she thought of it as good. Through the realizations, she discovered herself and found who she was. Or, at least, she did. With Nathan, nothing was concrete and nothing was for sure. Everything was confusing, a blur.

It wasn't so bad.

Really. True, like anyone else, clarity was needed and appreciated but sometimes she thought she lived for the confusion. It was what kept everything exciting. It gave her something to ponder over and wonder about. It made her think. It made her who she was.

She was Haley James and Haley James had pushed away her past and problems in hopes of forgetting them. That was her way of 'moving on'. Now, Nathan was offering something different.. something she wasn't sure about. She felt like she was in high school all over again.

Nathan was offering his hand in something that was completely foreign to her. And, again, she had accepted. She didn't even pause to think about the repercussions because when he offered, she knew.

It just felt right.

Like it did when he first kissed her.

Haley paused. It was creeping up on her again, the questions, the contemplative answers that she just didn't want to think about. Because, if she did... she would change her mind.

It would ruin it.

And, she didn't want to ruin it.

--

Vulernable. That was the only word that came to mind as Caitlin watched the scene before her unfold. It was frightening, watching someone unravel like that before her. There was so much that she wanted to say, so much that she should say. To fix things. To help. That was what she always did. Help.

Now, she couldn't do anything. It wasn't even her place. They weren't close. They had barely met each other and yet, Caitlin felt the need to help her. Perhaps it was the basic humanitarian in her but then again, who could just stand there and watch someone come apart at the seams and not do anything? Who was that cold? That harsh? That numb?

Nathan.

Caitlin flinched visibly and took in a deep breath, readying herself and gathering the thoughts in her head. "No, it doesn't."

Brooke looked at her questioningly, "What?"

"It doesn't hurt less that way. It'll hurt more. Because, it might stop the pain now but when you let your guard down, just a little bit, it'll all come back to you. Harder. And, it'll hurt more," Caitlin said softly, "More then it has to."

Brooke scoffed silently before shaking her head, "So sage. Have you been through this, Caitlin? Do you know how I'm feeling?"

"No, I don't," she said honestly, "And, I won't pretend to. I'm just trying to help."

"I wish you'd stop trying to help," Brooke said suddenly, "I wish everything would just," she faltered, "stop. Just stop... stop caring."

Caitlin stood there in place, frozen, unable to speak. After a few silent moments, she asked in shock, "What?"

"Please," Brooke looked down sadly as her voice cracked, "Because if you stop caring, maybe I will too."

Without another word, Caitlin quickly moved forward, closing the space between her and Brooke as she hugged her tightly, hoping to ease the pain somehow. It wouldn't help much.. she knew. Caitlin was not what Brooke wanted. What Brooke wanted was four flights above them, in her and Haley's apartment.

She would do for now though.

She had to.

--

They simply stood there.

Holding hands, both in their own worlds, their thoughts racing through their minds. It looked so young.. so high school-ish. They were like the star couple, all over again. The couple that you wished would never break up because they were the representation of what you wanted in life, what you envied.

Yet, neither realized it.

Nathan's eyes slowly travelled down to their joined hands, briefly wondering what this meant. What it signified. Was it something big? Was all forgiven? Was all the drama finally over now? Or was it just a small step in the large, elaborate scheme that was to come?

He didn't know.

And, honestly, at that moment, he could care less. All he knew was that she accepted. He offered... and she accepted. He knew it was stupid of himself to put himself on the line. After all, his whole youth, his father taught him to never put out his own weaknesses and take advantage of other's. It seemed with Haley, all his old rules and teachings went out the window.

That bothered him at some point in his life. But, not now.

She took his hand when he offered it, and she held it. She accepted him and helped him when he needed it and he returned the favor. Give and take.

Wasn't that what a relationship was all about?

Was that what they were now? Was that what they were in again? A relationship? There were so many questions that continued to zip through his head and so few answers. And again, he could've cared less.

She was smiling at him. And, she held his hand.

That was all that mattered now.

--

Time had moved on.

Or so it seemed. It was a haze, really. All her movements, thoughts, swirling into one. Haley couldn't tell anything anymore, left from right, right from wrong. Everything just was and she felt no need for an explanation. She had stopped asking for them because they only made things more complicated. Her past had taught her that complications were one thing that she did not need nor want.

She wished it would stay that way.

Uncomplicated. But, it didn't. She managed to bring things to a stand still. A pause in time. She had stopped the pain briefly and she wanted to remain in that freeze frame for an eternity because she was happy. She was truly happy. She hadn't felt that happy since she was in high school so many years back. With Nathan.

And, here she was, with Nathan yet again. In her freeze frame that she wished would last. She had held onto his hand that day, holding on tight and now, a few days later, she watched all the events replay in her head. She pretended and let everything fade off into the background. She had taken a few days off work, spending all her time with Nathan.

She was melding into him again.

Caitlin had been spending more time with Brooke but Haley barely noticed. Everything was fading, drifting and she couldn't find the will to care anymore. She was getting so tired of caring and analyzing. Why couldn't she just let things be? Like they were now. What was the point in worrying when in the end, whatever was bound to happen would happen anyway?

She didn't understand before but she did now. Or at least, she liked to think so. She understood that things fell apart and that they could be rebuilt again. She understood that closure and moving on were possible. With Nathan by her, it felt like she understood so much more.

And, that was her mistake.

She was beginning to trust again. It would be broken.

--

"Can you believe it's come down to this?" Brooke asked as she and Caitlin walked down 5th Avenue, browsing around the stores.

"What?" Caitlin asked as she stopped and peered through a window of a store, "Shopping at these overpriced trendy boutiques?"

"No," Brooke said grinning at her words, "That within a span of a week, things would get so flip flopped."

Caitlin paused for a moment before shrugging, "No, I really didn't think it would but then again, what kind of person would?"

"I'm kinda glad things turned out this way though," Brooke admitted honestly.

Caitlin raised an eyebrow in surprise, "What?"

"Yeah, I'm having a hard time believing I said that too but it's better," she nodded with false confidence, "It is."

Caitlin sighed before shrugging, "At least you got away from Nathan." She shook her head, "Which is more then I can say for Haley."

"She's happy with him and as much as I'd like for him to be miserable for his entire life maybe she needs him now. By the way you talk about it, it seems like she could use a little happiness and confidence booster right now."

"I know what you mean," Caitlin looked down sadly, "I'm just not sure Nathan's the one that could give that to her."

"What do you mean?"

Caitlin shook her head and smiled, "Never mind. This is making this trip depressing and shopping should never be depressing."

Brooke grinned unsurely before she nodded, "Okay, if you say so."

--

"Hey stranger," Haley said with a smile as Caitlin walked in, shopping bags in both her hands. "Whatcha been up to?"

"Shopping," Caitlin said with a laugh, "An awful lot of shopping."

"With Brooke?" She asked, the smile fading slightly.

"Yup, I give that girl props for being able to walk that long in high heels."

"Yeah," Haley replied, refusing to let the sadness linger in her voice. "So, you had fun?"

"Yeah," Caitlin said, her brow furrowed. She studied Haley for a moment before asking, "You okay?"

"Yeah, yeah," she said quickly, "I'm fine. Why?"

"You look like you want to say something," Caitlin said bluntly, cocking her head to the side.

"It's just," Haley paused, "I miss you."

Caitlin smiled, "I know and I miss you too but you've got your whole," she waved towards the direction of Haley's bedroom, "Nathan thing and I've got my own," she paused, "thing and so, yeah."

"Yeah," Haley nodded furiously. "Right."

But, it wasn't right.

Their friendship was fading.

--

"Hey Haley, do you have-"

Caitlin tinkle waved as she saw Nathan walk into the living room. "Haley's out right now."

"Oh," Nathan faltered, "Where'd she go?"

"She had to pick up some dry cleaning. She'll be back any minute now."

"Oh," he repeated before turning around awkwardly.

"She's happy, isn't she?"

Nathan stopped for a moment before shrugging, "I think so."

"Because I didn't give you the best friend talk yet but if you're already making her happy then there isn't a point. And, besides, you've already done all you could to hurt her."

Nathan visibly flinched and was thankful that his back was turned towards her. Caitlin wanted to wound him. He knew that. He could name off a million reasons why and she had every right. He just never thought she would actually go through with it.

"I know."

"And, I want to make you promise me that you won't hurt her again but you can't do that, can you?" Caitlin stood up as she took a step closer.

"No, I can't," he said with a sigh, looking up at the ceiling, knowing exactly what she was speaking of.

"You didn't tell her, did you?"

"No, what's the point?" he demanded suddenly.

"The point is that you're lying to her again and if you want to base your relationship on lies then it's just going to hurt her in the end."

"She's not hurting right now," Nathan refuted.

"That's just temporary." Caitlin retorted, "And, you know it."

"What do you want me to say to her?" Nathan demanded, "That I almost kissed you because I was hurting and because I knew it would hurt her too?"

Something dropped onto the floor. Dry cleaning.