Ana's Eyes

By Dani Fleming

Author's note: This is the companion story to 'A Trick of the Light'. Please enjoy.

All the usual disclaimers apply.

I stand on the pier, watching her go. There goes my future, my love. I close my eyes, raising the gun to my temple. It feels so heavy, and I think that it might be because my body is starting to feel the effects of the bite.

I realize that I have to finish this before the poison overtakes me, and I suddenly have a rather odd thought: I'm not scared. I should be, considering everything that's happened. The boat is getting farther and farther away, and I really should have this empty feeling of loss. But I don't.

I think it might be because I can see, can still see, her eyes.

Ana's eyes.

They are the color of hope, of life. The very expression they possess can tell me what she's thinking, what she feels, before she says a word. I remember all of the times we talked, especially when it was just the two of us awake, the mall silent and strangely peaceful. Sometimes there were no words between us at all, just quiet understanding at all we were going through, and thankfulness for the moments when there was no battle to be fought, no lives (even undead) to take. There was never any discussion about the people we had lost prior to meeting, but that too was understood.

The ones we'd never see again, except in dreams. The one that I knew meant a lot to her, knew when she was thinking about him, by the almost imperceptible shift in color and the tears.

The same look she held when I had to let go.

I think back to last night, the last night I still had hope for us. It seems so damn foolish now, but I even allowed myself to dream that we might start new lives, together. I thought about our wedding day, and the dress she would wear, and our newfound family, the blue of the sky and the sure and steady sound of our voices as we pledged "I do." All of it so clear and so vivid in my mind, even now.

But not as clear as her eyes.

I wish I had said more to her, that I had let her know how much she meant to me.

I wish I had told her I love her.

The best I can do now is to give her this, this last gift. They have to survive, these remainders of humanity. Ana, you have to survive. If only you knew, if only you could feel how much I'll miss you.

I'm not sure of the time, but the sun is beating down, right down on me, and I'm shivering. It's time to do this before I forget what it is I'm supposed to do.

Before I lose myself.

I stand on the pier. My eyes are closed tight, but I need to see, I have to see her one last time.

The boat is quickly becoming a speck in the ocean, but my eyes can still find her. She will survive, not because I wish it more than anything on this world, but because that is who she is.

I cock the pistol.

I love you, Ana.