(April 10, 2004)
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or any of its characters, unfortunately. No matter how hard I try, I just can't buy that damn copyright... thingy....so they're not mine. Except Zechs. purr!!
This is the first story I've put on here, hope you like it, please review... and be gentle... puppy dog eyes
Xtine the Pirate
HAPPY HALLOWEEN (sorta kinda...)
"Five little pumpkins sitting on a gate,
The first one said 'Oh my it's getting late!'"
Heero gritted his teeth, removing the top of his pumpkin and peering inside dubiously. Duo had started singing that song the moment he had brought the huge vegetables home and hadn't shut up since.
"The second one said, 'There are witches in the air!'
The third one said, 'But we don't care!'" Duo continued singing happily, up to his elbows in orange goop and pumpkin seeds, blissfully unaware of his partner's annoyance.
"Kisama." Wufei muttered. "Maxwell, if you don't stop that song…." He trailed off meaningfully. Duo's eyes lit up, and he continued, even louder.
"THE FOURTH ONE SAID 'LET'S RUN AND RUN AND RUN!'
"THE FIFTH ONE SAID, 'I'M READY FOR SOME FUN!!'"
"KISAMA!" The Chinese pilot screamed, slamming his Super Duper Pumpkin Scooper ™ down on the table. "I can't concentrate with you singing that damn song!"
Duo smiled sweetly at him. "Come on Wu-man, get into the Halloween spirit of things!"
Wufei glared at him, hand twitching towards his katana. "I told you never to call me that, Maxwell."
Duo took a deep breath, preparing to say his favourite nickname for the other boy as many times as he possibly could before being decapitated. A sharp tug on his braid stopped him. Heero gave him a meaningful look. A look that was only a few degrees shy of the Heero Yuy Death Glare ™. Duo gulped, then, as irrepressible as ever, turned back to pulling handfuls of seeds from his pumpkin's interior. It was blissfully silent for a moment, before he started humming again.
"Pumpkin head, pumpkin eyes, pumpkin nose and chin,
Stand me in the window, light my light, and I'll give you all a pumpkin
GRRRRRIIIINNN!" He stretched out the last note, waiting for Wufei's involuntary twitch.
Quatre smiled up at Heero, catching the momentary expression of exasperated affection that flickered across the Japanese boy's face.
"Remind me again why we're doing this?" Wufei demanded, wrestling with the lid of his pumpkin, which refused to come off.
"Because we celebrated Chinese New Year with you at the beginning of the year." Trowa said quietly.
"Please, don't remind me." Wufei glared at the oblivious braided pilot. "I'll regret that for the rest of my life."
Quatre giggled. "It wasn't that bad, Wufei."
The Chinese pilot glared at him. "I had to put up with his mangled, deafening pseudo-Chinese all evening! It was humiliating! Kisama!" he yanked at the pumpkin stem, his face flushed with anger.
"Woah, Wu-buddy, don't do that, it'll--"
"Shut it Maxwell--"
SNAP
"--- break…."
Wufei looked blankly at the twisted stem in his hand, then back at his traitorous pumpkin. The lid was still on. "Kisama." He whispered, tossing the stem down on the table, and throwing himself down on the couch, upset. "This is a stupid holiday."
Heero shot a glare at Duo, who was grinning quite suspiciously. "Duo… you did tell him that you have to cut around the lid first, didn't you?"
Duo looked innocent. "Whatever do you mean, He-chan? Would I do a thing like---"?
"Duo." Heero grabbed the boy's braid, holding up a carving knife threateningly. "You know as well as I do that he's never done this before."
Duo stared at the knife, going pale. "OK, ok!" he said swiftly, knowing better than to tempt the other boy. He held up goop-covered hands in a gesture of surrender. Heero nodded in silent approval, looking meaningfully over at the sulking Chinese pilot.
Quatre grinned, ducking his head, before continuing to carve out the intricate design on his pumpkin. For never having done it before, it was turning out quite well, in his mind.
Duo gingerly perched on the edge of the couch, watching Wufei warily, in case he made a lunge for his katana. "Hey, Wu-ma…er, Wufei. D'ya want me to give you a hand? It's a lot of fun, once you get started, you know…."
He recoiled as he was shot an ebony glare. "It will be a cold day in hell before I accept help from you, Maxwell."
Duo chuckled nervously, running a hand through his hair, forgetting momentarily, the slimy goop that coated his fingers. Heero, watching them, rolled his eyes. It would take forever to brush that crap out, and he knew the American boy would be whining the whole time. Duo made a valiant stab at convincing the boy. "Hey, Wufei, man, we're supposed to be a team, ya know? C'mon, it won't kill you…."
The sullen pilot glared at him for a long moment, considering….
--- Elsewhere---
Satan double-checked the thermometer, completely nonplussed. "How the here did that happen?" he mused aloud, going to look out the window at his normally lovely view of the fiery pit.
It was snowing….
------
"So, first off, you have to cut around the rim, like that, see?" Duo instructed his friend patiently. "Make like a triangle shape on one side, so you know how it fits back on later."
"You're telling me that I'm spending this much time taking off the damn thing, just to put it back on later?" Wufei demanded.
Duo grinned. "Yep! See, and then, after you pull it off, there's lots of glop inside that you pull out and it's really fun to take it out with your hands 'cause it's really squishy and gross and it feels cool!"
Wufei blinked. "What?"
Heero stifled a smirk. It took some time to get used to Duo's manner of speaking, that is to say, forgetting grammar and inflection utterly, and going at a mile a minute.
Duo happily started to demonstrate, grabbing big handfuls of the orange stuff and happily throwing them down on the table, splattering it everywhere.
"Why would I want to do that, Maxwell?"
"If you don't want to, I will!"
Heero sighed. "Why does that not surprise me?"
--- Later ---
"Wufei, man, that's awesome!!" Duo said happily, watching the pilot as he laboriously carved the characters for Nataku. They were a little crooked, but Duo decided not to mention that.
"I thought you said you'd never done this before!" he gabbled happily, winning a small smile from the normally reserved pilot.
Heero looked at Duo over the top of his own pumpkin, raising an eyebrow. " OF course he hasn't. Can you honestly picture Treize doing something like this?" Wufei glared at him, but Heero was completely unruffled. It couldn't match the Heero Yuy Death Glare ™, after all.
Duo paused in mid rant. "Good point…."
--- Elsewhere---
Zechs sighed in frustration, cursing as the small saw cut through a piece he wanted to keep in the design. He glared at Treize, who was apparently having no difficulties whatsoever, even though he was carving a perfect model of the Tallgeese. Zechs glared back at his own pattern, taken from the Pumpkin Masters ™ booklet. The marking in the top corner identified it as being "Medium difficulty." Medium Difficulty indeed. It was impossible to tell whether the bloody thing was a cat or a spider or some unidentifiable blob anymore.
"That's it, I give up." He said to no one in particular. Treize looked up, startled, then quickly moved out of the way as Zechs fired three rounds into his ruined design.
"Temper." He chided the younger man, obviously amused, then held up his hands in submission as the gun was turned on him.
"Shut up Treize." He fired the final two bullets into the other pumpkin.
Treize sighed, watching two hours of painstaking work fall to bits. Zechs looked at him sidelong, surprised at his own fit of pique, and wondering what Treize would say.
After a moment, Treize laughed, shaking his head. "You're so cute when you're upset."
Zechs sighed in exasperation, beginning to smile despite himself. "Shut up, Treize…."
------
"So Trowa, what are you doing, huh, huh? Oh Come ON! Let me see, please? PLEASE?"
"No."
"Touchy… Hey Quatre, how about you, eh? What are you doing?"
Quatre smiled timidly, "I'd prefer to get it finished before I show you, Duo, is that ok?"
"Yeah, sure, whatever!" Duo dashed over to Wufei, who was frowning at his design. "Hey, Wufei, you know I was thinking…"
"God help us."
"Shut up, Heero. Anyways, before I was so rudely interrupted, I was thinking, you know that song I was singing earlier, hmm? Well, what pumpkin would you be? I was wondering because there's five of them, and you know, there's five of us, and---"
Heero walked around the table, grabbed the babbling pilot and kissed him firmly on the lips. "Be quiet." He whispered.
Duo grinned brightly, throwing his arms around the Japanese pilot's neck, his cobalt eyes sparkling. "You're so funny Heero! Hey, what are you carving? A…gun? Well, that's sort of Halloween-y, I guess…."
Heero frowned. "What's wrong with it?"
---Elsewhere---
Relena sighed happily, lighting the candle inside her pumpkin and stepping back, gazing at it dreamily. It was perfect she decided, extremely pleased with herself. Why, she'd even captured that dour expression in his eyes.
"Why, Miss Relena, that is wonderful!" Dorothy exclaimed as she walked over, clapping her hands. "Why it looks just like him!"
Relena smiled, feeling very smug. "Doesn't it though?"
"I mean, it takes absolutely no talent at all to do a gigantic explosion with lots of flames and death like my design, after all. This is just so, so you, Miss Relena!"
Praise indeed, especially considering who it was coming from. Relena shrugged gracefully. "Well, I try."
Just wait until your new puppy sees that you carved his picture on your pumpkin, he'll be so delighted!"
A muscle twitched in the Queen of the World's cheek.
------
"So what would it be, Wu-man?" Duo persisted doggedly. "Which pumpkin, huh, huh? C'mon you never answered my question! I'd be the one who wasn't afraid of the witches, the third one, you know?" he paused to preen for a moment. "So what about you, Wu-man ole buddy, hmm? Which one would you be?" Duo danced around the table to hover behind the other pilot, his irrepressible – and severely annoying – personality shining through.
Surprisingly, Wufei didn't so much as twitch. "I can see as the third one, actually," he agreed conversationally, "it really makes sense."
Heero dropped his Pumpkin Master's Ultimate Carving Saw ™ in shock.
Duo stopped dead in his tracks, staring wide-eyed at the back of his friend's head. No threats were forthcoming, although Duo was sure he'd said 'Wu-man' more than once. But Wufei didn't react at all, not even the vaguest tightening in his shoulders, the barest indication of a wince. He felt like pinching himself, it was too unreal to be true.
Slowly, Wufei turned to look at the bouncing braided boy, rooting him instantly to the spot in terror. Duo gulped at the flames he saw dancing in those dark eyes, belying the smile that was still affixed to the pilot's face.
"It makes sense, Maxwell," Wufei began with the same sinisterly cheerful grin, "because you'll have a lot more to fear if you EVER call me by that detestable name again!" he swung his katana off the table in one fluid motion.
"GAH!!" Duo fled around the table to duck behind the reassuringly strong form of Heero.
"Choto Matte!" Wufei cursed, cheated of his target. Heero glanced up at through his bangs, giving the irate pilot a flat stare. Any plans to try and drag the smug little American bastard out from behind his shelter instantly evaporated. Reluctantly, Wufei withdrew to his side of the table, to stare once more in exasperation at his pumpkin.
After a moment, a pair of impudent cobalt eyes reappeared from behind Heero's shoulder, glinting with new mischief. A sneaky cat-like grin followed close behind, shortly accompanied by an auburn braid that draped itself like a living scarf around the silent Japanese pilot's neck.
"Ok, I promise I won't call you…that… any more…" Duo began solemnly. "So how about Fei-Fei instead?" He swiftly skittered back under cover at the glare Wufei threw in his direction, clinging to Heero for dear life (as well as a measure personal enjoyment.)
Heero shook his head, trying to ignore the arms wrapped in a Death Grip around his waist, beginning to smirk. "Fei-Fei…" he mused aloud, impervious to the strangled noise Wufei made. "…I like the sound of that…."
--- Elsewhere ---
Spike slowly opened one eye as Faye stomped into the room, looking ready to kill someone. It was a sure sign that he had woken up to soon. He quickly re-thought his idea of having a smoke. Better not to get involved….
"That little brat!" Faye ranted, pacing around the room. "I could handle 'Faye-Faye', I mean; it was irritating, but cute, alright? But where the hell did she come up with 'Wu-man'? I ask you, what did I ever do to deserve this?" she sighed melodramatically.
"Wu-man, wu-man! Yeaah!" Ed chorused, dancing around the room with Ein prancing at her heels. "Edward likes it! Wuman!"
Spike closed his eyes again, feigning sleep. He definitely did not want to get involved in this….
------
Quatre took a step back, eyeing his pumpkin critically. "Um… I don't know, it seems a little off…" he said, measuring the proportions with his thumb at eye level.
"Ooh, what pattern did you chose, Quatre, huh, huh?" Duo was instantly around the table, dancing around behind Trowa, trying to get a proper look.
The tall pilot smiled at his blonde friend quietly, surreptitiously taking his hand. "It looks fine Quatre." He reassured him softly.
"Let ME see! Trowaaaaa, you're too tall!" Duo whined, jumping up and down to try and view the pumpkin over their shoulders.
"Well, I um, I just tried to, ah, make something up on my own, you know…." Quatre said shyly, moving aside. Duo's jaw dropped. On the pumpkin was a perfect portrait of the Arabian pilot and the silent Trowa, Quatre's head leaning on the other boy's shoulder.
There was a moment of silence in the room.
"Kisama!"
Wufei drew his katana, swinging it high in the air.
"Wufei, what are you--- Duck!!!" Duo yelled, throwing himself beneath the table, bumping heads with Heero as the Japanese pilot did the same. Duo took the tension of the moment as an excuse to throw his arms around the other pilot's neck and bury his head in his chest. A sickening thunk above their heads announced the end of Wufei's pumpkin.
"I hope he didn't miss and hit Quatre's…." Duo remarked conversationally, peeking his head out from underneath the table. He turned to Heero, beginning to smile, sidling up to his friend.
"You know," he began seriously, attempting to snuggle, "I don't think the coast is clear just yet…."
"Hn." Heero replied, disentangling Duo's arms from around his neck.
Wufei stood in the middle of the room, breathing heavily, twin spots of anger colouring his cheeks. His katana lay embedded in the center of what might have once been a pumpkin. He glared around at his silent friends, daring them to say anything. Then, with a muffled curse, he grabbed his katana and fled the room.
Duo frowned at the mangled vegetable. "Well, I thought it was good…." He said to no one in particular.
Quatre was on the edge of tears. "Was it something I did?" he asked quietly. "I know, I should have just done some design from the book, I shouldn't have tried to do something on my own…."
Trowa put one hand on the blonde boy's shoulder. "We can't be good at everything. To Wufei, that's injustice."
"Yeah well, justice boy just ruined our holiday." Duo said angrily. Everyone just looked at him. An angry Duo was a rare sight. After a moment he brightened. "Hey, at least now we can make pumpkin pie!"
--- Elsewhere ---
Noin checked her watch again, sighing and tapping her foot. He was late again. Every time they had to go on a mission for Oz together, he was punctual to a fault, but ask the guy over for dinner? No way. With a sigh, she rose to blow out the candle in the pumpkin she had carved. Zechs Noin. It was no masterpiece, but she had done it for him. There was another pumpkin in the kitchen, untouched, the one she had picked out for him, so they could carve them together.
"It's always like this," she grumbled to herself, pouring a glass of red wine. "Christmas, New Years, Valentine's Day, I mean for chrissake, what kind of guy would miss Valentine's Day?" she demanded of her apartment. "That's it, you know? I'm sick of it. When he shows up, I'm gonna--" she jumped, startled by the sound of her doorbell.
She opened the door warily, to find her errant boyfriend, offering her his best Zechs Merquise Sexy Smile ™. Noin did her best to glare at him, but it was really hard to do in the face of that…face. God was he gorgeous.
"Sorry I'm late," he said, smoothly slipping past her into the apartment, "I was called on a mission this afternoon. Gundams again."
Noin bit her lip. It was probably the truth, he looked tired and a little rumpled, unusual for him. But he was smiling, and it was hard to say no to that smile….
------
"Alright! Is everybody ready?" Duo asked cheerfully, proudly carrying his rather singed version of a pumpkin pie. Heero winced, knowing that he'd be expected to eat a piece. Trowa looked equally queasy; they had both encountered Duo's cooking before….
"Don't worry," Quatre murmured, seeing how pale his two friends had gotten. "After he set the kitchen on fire, I took advantage of the distraction to throw his pie out. I made this one beforehand, in case something like this should happen…."
The two boys relaxed instantly. Quatre's cooking was something to look forward to, especially when it replaced Duo's.
"Aww… Wu-man hasn't come down from his room yet?" Duo asked, looking crestfallen.
"He's sulking." Heero answered shortly, looking doubtfully at the pie. Well… if Quatre made it…it just seemed strange to make a pie out of a large, orange thing that they had spent all afternoon cutting up. Gingerly, he tasted it. Duo watched him with baited breath.
Heero looked up at him slowly, through the dark bangs that fell over his deep blue eyes. Duo winced, anticipating the infamous Heero Yuy Death Glare ™, but, much to his surprise, the Japanese boy smiled.
"You like it?" Duo was incredulous.
Heero nodded. Trowa hesitated, but slowly indicated his approval.
"All right!" Duo jumped in the air, beginning to do his Boogie Dance ™ "I told you guys I can cook! Hah! So there! I should be like, the official cook of the G-squad!"
Heero choked on his pie. The idea was completely unthinkable.
"G-squad?" Quatre repeated, completely appalled by the idea.
"Maxwell, there is no way I would ever let Nataku be a part of a team with that name."
"Wufei!" Duo exclaimed, halting mid-gyration.
The Chinese boy hesitated in the doorway, looking extremely uncomfortable. Finally, he closed his eyes. 'Nataku, give me the strength to apologize to this baka…'
He made a stiff, formal bow. "Duo…I'm sorry I ruined your holiday." He said awkwardly. "It's not…stupid… well, it is, and you know it as well as I do, but I should not have said so. Honour compels me to make amends. Here." He roughly thrust something at the baffled boy. It was an intricate dragon, made completely of paper.
"Whoa… Wu-man, this is…" Duo frowned. "Isn't origami Japanese?"
Heero sighed, rolling his eyes. "Here we go again…."
"I told you to NEVER call me that!"
"Yeah, whatever, Justice boy!"
" Justice---?! Kisama, Maxwell, the next thing I use my katana on will be your head!"
"Duo." Heero said softly. Somehow it had the same effect as if he'd grabbed a machine gun and started firing into the air. "Why don't you light the candles." It was not a suggestion.
Duo, as always, was completely oblivious of the imminent wrath of Heero. "Ok!" he agreed cheerfully.
One by one, the pilots filed outside, to where Duo was busy trying to light a match, shield it from the breeze, and not set his braid on fire all at the same time. With a smile, and a shake of his head, Heero went to help him. Trowa, being the tallest, attached a piece of thread to Wufei's dragon, and suspended it above the four pumpkins. It caught the light from below, swaying slightly as if it were really flying.
"Okee dokee!" Duo announced, as Heero finished lighting the candles and stepped back.
They all caught their breath at the finished product. Trowa's lion looked about to pounce, the flickering orange light dancing in its eyes. Next to it was an impressive display of Heero's knowledge of weaponry. Quatre's looked like a painting, in shimmering gold and deep black shadows. Wufei's dragon hung over all of them.
"Wait a minute…" Wufei muttered. "What did the baka do?"
Heero looked around, searching for his wayward friend. "Duo?"
"I'm coming!"
They turned to see the pilot carrying a huge pumpkin that must have weighed as much as he did himself. With a grunt, he set it down beside the others, grinning proudly at the speechless boys. He leant down and swiftly lit the candle. Stepping back to look at it critically. "Hmm… not bad if I do say so myself!"
There was silence.
Duo snapped his fingers sharply, breaking the tension. "Almost forgot the best part!" he dashed inside the house, humming loudly.
"How… how did he?" Wufei began, and then shook his head in despair.
"Hn."
"That's incredible though…"
"Who's a jerk?"
"Hn."
"He can't even eat spaghetti without covering everything in sauce! Where did he get the motor skills to even attempt…?
"Hn."
"Heero? Are you in shock or something?"
"Hn…what? No, no…what did he mean about 'the best part'?"
Quatre shook his head. I have no idea… we'd better go see."
The wind stirred the flames inside the pumpkins, setting the designs to moving. The largest of them contained a perfect moment in time; each of the pilots concentrating on their designs (reproduced in miniature), Wufei glaring with his katana embedded in a mangled pile, Duo dancing around happily. Underneath it, the sentiment 'The best Halloween ever! (except for Wufei being a jerk)'
Voices floated out from inside the house.
"Trick-or what?"
"Oh it's great! You get to dress up in costumes and go around at get candy! I'm going to go as a priest!"
"But isn't that what you always wear?"
"But nobody else knows that!"
"I think I'll go as a teenage terrorist."
"Cool! What will you wear?"
"This."
"Heero! You can't do that, it's cheating!"
"You're wearing your clothes…."
"I suppose I'll be a clown."
"I don't know what I should go as… any ideas, Trowa?"
"Well…."
"Hey Justice Boy, this would look great on you!"
Kisama, Maxwell, I am not going to wear a dress! And for the last time, don't call me Justice Boy!"
"I don't know, Wufei, it matches your eyes!"
"Yeah, I bet Treize would really like it on you, too!"
"KISAMA!"
The End...(at least until Christmas)OWARII!!!!!!!
Hee hee! Poor Wu-man!Wufei: I told you not to call me that! Damn it!
Ok, seriously tho... I know Duo's pumpkin is a wee bit far fetched, but I have seen pictures of carvings people have done with really awesome portraits. I just thought it would be funny if Duo's was the best, becuz he's such a klutzy dork, generally... So, opinions? Comments? LET ME KNOW! KISAMA!