(The afore-mentioned disclaimer applies to this act as well.)

Act One-Egg Butts and Mistakes

DRAGONFLY INN FRONT HALL

Luke walks down the stairs, with Kirk following closely behind.

Luke: Just forget about it, Kirk!

Kirk: I could raise money to have a statue erected in your honor.

Luke: No statue!

Kirk: Then a parade. We could have a parade.

Luke: No parade either!

They both are now standing at the bottom of the stairs, facing each other.

Kirk: Okay, nothing outlandish. How 'bout I send you a fruit basket?

Luke: Right, cuz nothin says 'thanks for wrestlin me to the ground' like a bunch of apples and bananas.

Just then Lorelai walks in the front door. Luke and Kirk both turn to see her.

Lorelai: Wow, bananas...so dirty...so early in the morning...Luke, I'm impressed.

Luke gives her a half smile, and Kirk steps closer to her.

Kirk: Lorelai--Did you know that Luke is my hero?

Luke: Kirk!

Kirk: I have night terrors. Last night was a doozy, but Luke here saved the day. He stopped me from jumping head first into the lake.

Lorelai: (turning toward Luke and smiling) Gee, Luke, we should pin a medal on you.

Kirk: (excitedly) A medal, yes!

Luke: (pointing at Lorelai) Don't give him any ideas. (turning to face Kirk) Look, Kirk, here's what you can do. Never mention any of this again. Act like it never happened. That's what I want.

Kirk: Well, okay. (sincerely, placing his hand on Luke's shoulder) But every third Saturday of the month, will be 'Luke Danes Day' in my heart.

Luke: (rolling his eyes) Oh, goody.

Kirk walks away, leaving Luke and Lorelai by themselves in the front hallway.

Lorelai: (smiling) So, you really saved him, huh?

Luke: (sarcastically) Yeah, it was my finest hour. (his voice changes to that of concern) So, um, you didn't come back last night.

Lorelai: (looking down) Oh, yeah, sorry. Rory had a bad night, and I decided to stay home.

Luke: Is she all right?

Lorelai: (with some uncertainty) Yeah, uh, she will be.

Luke: (shyly) So, about last night...

Suddenly, Sookie comes running into the front hallway.

Sookie: (grabbing Lorelai's arm) Thank God you're here! We have an egg emergency.

Lorelai: An egg emergency?

Sookie: Yes, we have no eggs.

Lorelai: Yes we do. Sookie, we bought enough eggs to make the world's largest omelet.

Sookie: I know, but someone cracked them all.

Lorelai: (confused) Who? Who cracked them all?

Sookie: (embarrassed) Well, me.

Lorelai: How?

Sookie: I put the egg crates on the floor, spilled some oil, must have slipped on it...and...well...landed on the eggs.

Lorelai: Do the Stooges know about you? Cuz, seriously, if you could pull off a mean eye-gauging, I think you could be the fourth one.

Sookie: (turning around) But, hey, look, at least, I didn't get any egg on my butt.

Lorelai: How bout that? (half smiling) Look, Luke, there's no egg on her butt!

Luke: (looking away very deliberately) I'm not looking at her butt!

Lorelai: You're missin out cuz, hey, 'Baby got back'!

Sookie: (giggling) Oh, stop!...(face turning serious) So, what are we gonna do about the eggs?

Lorelai: Eggs, yes, okay. Send the staff to get them.

Sookie: Michel scared six of them off, remember. I need Derek here to help me.

Luke: (holding his hands up) I'll go get the eggs.

Sookie: Oh, you're such a doll!

Lorelai: Yes, Luke, we really should have a statue made in your honor.

Luke: Again with the statue! (Lorelai and Sookie stare at each other in confusion.) I'll be back soon.

CUT TO DRAGONFLY KITCHEN

Lorelai and Sookie walk through the door.

Lorelai: Wow, who egged our kitchen floor? Because, I gotta tell ya, they totally lack originality. Eww...what a mess!

Sookie: I know...Hey, Derek, would you mind cleaning that up?

Sookie turns toward Derek, a member of the kitchen staff.

Derek: Uh, sure. No problem.

Sookie: Thanks. I owe you...(turns toward Lorelai) So, why did you disappear last night? Michel said something came up, and you had to stay home.

Lorelai: Yeah...Rory needed me. She was upset, so I decided it would be better to just stay there with her.

Sookie: (concerned) What happened? Is she okay?

Lorelai: She's all right...but, um...I really shouldn't get into all the details. (touches Sookie's arm) I'm sorry, Sook, its just kinda...

Sookie: Personal?

Lorelai: Yeah, sorry I can't share.

Sookie: (understandingly) Quite alright. Mother-daughter confidentiality. Can't betray. Top secret. Totally understand.

Lorelai: Thanks.

Sookie: Here, Derek. I'll give you a hand.

Lorelai: (walking toward the kitchen door) Well, I'd love to stay and help...oh, who am I kidding? You couldn't pay me to clean up those slimy balls of sunshine.

Sookie and Derek start to slip on the eggs.

Sookie: (starting to fall) Woah, Derek!

Derek: (losing his balance and falling) Ahh! Woah!

Lorelai: (talking loud enough so they can here, but mostly to herself) You know, this comedy inn thing could actually work for us. I'm gonna talk to Michel about wearing a red nose and squirting seltzer at the guests. (walks out of the kitchen)

CUT TO GILMORE HOUSE

There is a knock at the door.

Rory: (OS) I'll be there in a minute. (Walks toward the door and opens it.) Dean (looks at him, then looks away)

Dean: Hey, um, I'm sorry I didn't call...I just..I needed to see you.

Rory: (forcing a small smile) Okay.

Dean: Did you try to call me last night?

Rory: Yeah...uh...Lindsay answered.

Dean: Yeah...I'm sorry. I left my cell phone at home. When I got back, Lindsay said she saw your name on the caller ID.

Rory: (looking down) Oh, I'm sorry.

Dean: No, it's okay. We had a fight, and I told her I wanna get a divorce.

Rory: Wow, what did she say?

Dean: Well, she, uh...can I come in?

Rory: (avoids eye contact with him) I'm not sure that's a good idea.

Dean: (reaching toward her) Are you alright?

Rory: (pulling back from his touch) Look, Dean, I dunno...we probably shouldn't see each other until you and Lindsay aren't together anymore. I mean, unless you're gonna stay with Lindsay, then we probably shouldn't see each other at all.

Dean: I'm not gonna stay with Lindsay.

Rory: Well, okay, but I just think it would be better if we stayed away from each other for awhile.

Dean: (upset) But I wanna be with you.

Rory: (her eyes starting to get teary) I know, but...

Dean: Don't you wanna be with me? I thought...last night...you seemed like...well, I thought you felt the same way as me.

Rory: Dean, last night was a mistake.

Dean: (upset and confused) A mistake? So, it didn't mean anything to you?

Rory: (crying) No, it meant something...I wouldn't have done it, if it didn't mean something...but...you're married.

Dean: Yeah...but we're not happy.

Rory: You're married.

Dean: Rory?

Rory: (shutting the door) Sorry, bye Dean.

Dean stands there dejected.

Fade to black.