Summary: When Spike has finally had enough of Buffy's games, an important force in Spike's past shows up in Sunnydale determined to show Buffy a few home truths.
Timeline: post – 'As You Were' (anything up to there is game for spoilers)
Pairing: Spike/Buffy.
Disclaimer: Buffy, Spike and Sunnydale, et al, are property of Mutant Enemy and 20th Century Fox Film Corporation. Joss is All Powerful. I merely use his creations to entertain myself and hopefully others.
Author's Note: Okay, I know that I've focused on the character I've made up a bit too much so far, but I had to explain who she was before I could go on with the story. She does have an important purpose to the plot, but this is a Spike/Buffy fic, and they will be the primary focus from here on out. Please give me reviews and let me know what you think, both nice and not-so-nice ones make me want to write more and work out the kinks in the story. J
Chapter 4 – BustedSpike leaned against the railing, taking a long drag of his cigarette. He was face away from the packed crowd below, which filled the Bronze every Friday night. He took another swig of his beer, emptying the bottle. Placing it on the ground beside him, he tried to remember how many the total for the evening was. Realising trying to remember the count at this point was futile, he went back to his thoughts.
He wasn't sure about how smart a move it was earlier saying what he said to Buffy, but he felt a large weight lifted from him finally speaking up about his feelings. Maybe she would even think about her own feelings for once, and stop denying there was something there. Or it will just give her another reason to push me away. Spike gave an unneeded sigh and headed down the steps to go to the bar for another drink, hoping this one would distract him from the events that had transpired that day.
Sitting down at the bar, he winced as he thought about the words that had hurt him more than anything that she, or anyone, had ever said to him.
"I'm using you…I can't love you. I'm just being weak and selfish…and it's killing me…I'm sorry, William."
Often Spike wondered why he ever bothered with Buffy, usually after her insults and fleeing that had become part of their usual pattern. But then he'd see her again. A small smile, or a laugh was all it made for his blood to start screaming for her. Hell, even a scowl reminded him why he loved her so much. Every night he was plagued with dreams, good dreams until he woke up and had to face reality, that he was the one making her smile and laugh. The one she looked at with affection and love in her eyes.
"I can't love you."
Did she even know what those words did to him? Spike could actually feel not only his heart, but his entire being shattering at those words. He couldn't do it anymore. He couldn't handle her doing it again, saying those words again. So he shut himself off when he saw her in the graveyard. He never thought it would come to the point where he couldn't put up with the abuse he took from Buffy just to be near her. And it wasn't one too many punches, or harsh words after hours spent in his crypt together.
"I'm sorry, William."
And now he was left sitting alone, trying to numb the pain he was feeling with beer and cigarettes. Neither of which were helping in the least. He figured that at the least he could be drunk and miserable though, so as he turned around to survey the crowd, he took the final gulp of the beer he had been nursing and signalled the bar tender for another.
As he watched all the happy people dancing bitterly, wishing that he and Buffy could be like the couples he saw on the dance floor. Suddenly, he heard a loud, familiar laugh coming from the other end of the bar. Nibblet. He smiled, thinking that his second favourite Summers was just what he needed to lessen the ache his favourite Summers had left him with. As he turned to the direction he heard the laugh coming from the smile on his face quickly turned to a look of shock then anger.
Dawn was standing with the same friend from Halloween talking with some boys that looked to be a little bit older than them. This was not the problem. The problem was the tight, short skirt and tiny, revealing top she was wearing. Another problem was the fact that the drink in her hand looked very similar to the one in his, as did the cigarette she was casually bringing up to her lips as she smiled at something one of the boys had just whispered in her ear.
Jumping from his seat, bottle forgotten as it dropped to the floor, Spike strode over to where she was standing, he place a hand on her shoulder and said with a venom in his voice he hadn't had since his first year in Sunnydale, "Dawn, come with me, now."
Shocked by his sudden appearance, she allowed herself to be dragged out of the Bronze by the vampire leaving two very confused boys and Janice with a sympathetic expression on her face, tinged with relief that the man Dawn had only told her about was not her 'over-protective brother figure.'
By the time they had reached the alley outside the Bronze, Dawn had gathered her bearings and angrily spun around to face Spike. "What was that?" she demanded, going to place her hands on her hips in a similar gesture to Buffy only to realize she still had the bottle in one and a cigarette in the other. Quickly, she placed her hands behind her back.
"What was that? What was that!" Spike spat at her. "I turn around expecting to see my favourite 15 year old girl to find her smoking, drinking and dressed like a tramp! What the bloody hell are you thinking?" Spike started to pace in front of her, trying to reign in his anger enough to not reach out and smack her.
"Geez, harsh much?" Dawn said as she tried to butt out the cigarette with the heel of her boot discretely. "What's the big deal? I was just having some fun. I don't know why you're so angry."
Spike immediately stopped his pacing and spun around to face her. An unreadable expression coming over the anger that was there a moment before, "Why am I so angry? Do you have any idea what you were doing? Have you not learned anything from Halloween or Buffy's birthday? What has gotten into you? Do you even realise how much trouble you are getting yourself into?"
Dawn looked down at the bottle and started to pick the label. "I was perfectly fine. I'm not a little girl anymore," she pouted.
This set Spike off again. Before she could even blink he had ripped the bottle from her hands and thrown it against the wall. "Yes you are. You are fifteen, a child. You are not an adult and by acting this way you are only proving that fact. You know how many demons and vamps there are out there that would love to get a bite out of you, and you know you can't handle yourself however much you like to say that you can. Why can't you get it into your thick head that your sis is so protective of you for a reason?"
Dawn looked up, tears starting to spill down her face, streaking her cheeks with the heavy mascara she was wearing. "Are you going to tell Buffy?" She whispered, praying that he would allow this to be another one of their secrets.
Spike paused and looked at the girl in front of him. Part of him wanted to envelop up her in a hug when the tears started, but the anger and shame he felt at that moment was winning out. He thought about her question carefully. The last thing he wanted to do tonight was see Buffy again, but the mature part of him that rarely showed itself to the world was actually winning and he knew that he had to tell Buffy about Dawn, and tell her now. Like everyone else, he thought Dawn had learned her lesson at Buffy's party. Obviously they were all wrong and Dawn was much worse off than they thought.
Spike ran his hands through his hair and let out a long sigh. "No, I'm not telling the Slayer." Dawn let a small smile appear on her face. "You are going to tell Buffy. In about fifteen minutes when we get to your house." The tears had started to flow again as Dawn watched Spike start down the dark alley towards Revello Drive. He stopped and turned back to her, "Nibblet, now!" She scrambled to catch up, afraid to get herself in any more trouble than she knew she was already in.
As they walked down the street, Dawn remained silent and looking at her feet as Spike continued his rant about how disappointed he was in her.
"And I don't even want to know where you got that outfit!" Dawn looked down ashamed, knowing he would come to the conclusion that she dreaded, however true it was. Just as she expected, Spike halted suddenly and turned to her. "You stole it didn't you?" She mumbled a yes and continued walking listening to even angrier ranting at this revelation.
When the two figures got in front of the Summer's house, Spike stopped once again and looked down at Dawn. Speaking more softly this time, he said, "Look, Lil' Bit, I can understand that you're just being a teenager. Bloody hell, I don't even really have a right to lecture you, seeing as I'm probably the example you've based your juvenile delinquency on. But this has to stop. Now I know you probably hate me for ratting out to big sis, but if you keep going this way you're going to get in more trouble than you can handle. And I don't just mean the demon kind. Now come on, it's time to face the music." With a small smile that Dawn didn't return, Spike guided her to the front door and into the house.
Buffy was sitting alone in the kitchen having a drink and trying to sort out the events of the evening before she went to sleep. She was trying to stay focused on the strange woman sleeping in her sister's bed, but her thoughts kept on drifting to the two conversations she had with Spike.
When she had told him that morning that things were over, the look of defeat and pain on his face had almost caused her to turn around and run into his arms. But she had kept her resolve and walked out of the crypt and into the sunny morning light. The rest of the day had been spent, for some reason or another, rationalizing and justifying her decision. Almost as if her brain was still trying to convince itself that it had done the right thing. She knew she had.
Her and Spike just couldn't work. No matter how much he tried to convince her they could, she knew it would never happen. Her friends and sister would never understand or accept that she could have feelings for a soulless creature that she was meant to defend the world against. She couldn't even understand. It was just so wrong.
She found herself thinking about what Tara had asked her when she had confessed what had been going on between her and Spike.
"Do you love him?"
"God, what a loaded question," Buffy mumbled to herself while she stared into the now cold cup of hot cocoa. She knew that the answer to that question should be simple. An automatic 'No!', but it wasn't. She couldn't get herself to say that word even to herself, her only response to that question being I can't love him. And she couldn't. It would destroy the small world around her; tear apart her small family if any of them found out. She knew that Tara had to be only pretending to be supportive to whatever Buffy decided concerning the bottle-blond vampire. She was sure that deep down, Tara was disgusted that Buffy could even think about getting herself involved with a vampire. It was just so wrong.
Buffy absently rubbed at her eyes, realizing that they were tearing up. She shook her head and got up to rinse out her mug when she heard the distinct sound of the front door and muffled voices. Heading into the hallway to investigate, the first thing she saw was the distinct leather coat and bleached hair that she had just been thinking about.
Buffy's automatic reaction was anger that he would dare coming into her home after his speech from earlier, and she instantly had him pinned against the now closed door with her hand around his throat. "What the hell do you think you're doing coming into my home?"
Spike squirmed out of her grasp as he said, "Don't worry, this is the last place I want to be right now Slayer. I just thought you might fancy having a word with the Bit." He nodded to a corner of the hall where Dawn was trying to make herself blend in with the woodwork.
As Buffy took in the girl standing before her, and her brain registered that the scantily clad girl was indeed her sister, a look of anger that Spike had never seen her give to even the worst of demons came over her face…