Title: Alone In Darkness

Authors: Sita/T'eyla

Rating: PG-13

AN: Thanks to Exploded Pen (well, maybe you're not grasping at straws, after all...), Gabi2305 (na, do host jetz nix verodn... ;) ), Dacker Spaniel (looking forward to your story! Are you going to tell us who the main character(s) are? It was really great to hear that we inspired someone to write a story!), skully (Malcolm! What's the guy up to? ;) ), katt (suspense!), ocean (we're not gonna give it away... just read the chapter to the end :) ), The Libran Iniquity (und hier kommt die Aktualisierung... thanks for that wonderful review and we hope you'll enjoy your vacation after all those terrible German exams... ;) ), WhtevrHpnd2Mary (lots of interestig theories... and if that last idea of yours is really about what we think it is about, then maybe you won't be surprised by what's going to happen in the very near future... and you deserve a prize if you can figure out our incoherent babblings ;) ), Daria (well, the line's certainly going to be crossed...), KaliedescopeCat (you're actually quite close to the truth...), Maraschino (bet these ANs are longer than the chapter... ;) ), Phaser Lady (well, some of the mysteries might be solved at the end of this chapter...), Aeryn Lavanthia ("better and better" - three little words all writers like to hear :) - thanks for the compliment), Spike26 (poor little Malcolm... but why is it that no one feels sorry for Trip? :) ) and Les1 (glad you like the sequel... and btw, don't worry, we don't ever say anything constructive in our ANs either, so... ;) ) for reviewing. Yes, it's way too long. Again. Oh well, on with the chapter! Review! (Please?)

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Chapter 5

Trip had lost count of how many hours had passed since they'd brought him back to the cell. Partly that was because he had no means of telling the time in this bare windowless room, but mostly because ever since he was back, confused thoughts and feelings of hurt and anger had been swirling through his mind, leaving him unable to think straight.

After Reed had contacted them, he and Malcolm had been standing there for another few minutes of terrible silence, and all the time Malcolm had been pointing that gun at him, looking at him with that non-existent expression on his face. Trip had seen neither guilt, nor shame or even regret on Reed's features, only that flat emptiness which had both angered and frightened him at the same time. Then the world had dissolved in the strange tingle of a transporter beam, and Trip had found himself back in the cell, alone. Malcolm was gone.

Trip had no idea where Reed was now, but, to tell the truth, he didn't really care. He was glad that he didn't have to face Malcolm now, for the mere thought of him made Trip feel so angry, so furious, so terribly sad and so lost at the same time that he simply couldn't bear it. He couldn't bring himself to believe that Malcolm had actually done this, that he'd actually betrayed him in this cruel lying way, but at the same time knew that it was so. And part of him even understood why Malcolm had done it, that it had nothing to do with bad intentions or selfishness, but that Reed had done so out of plain fear of what they might do to him otherwise. Simple human fear, or survival instinct, or whatever you wanted to call it, not any will to hurt his friend, to abandon him here when he needed him most.

Another part of his mind, however, speaking in a low hateful voice that was getting louder every minute, was telling him a different truth. It said that Reed had left him, that he'd done so on purpose and was now working for his captors, conspiring with them in order to keep him here, giving him no chance of ever getting away from this place again. First, Trip had tried not to listen to the terrible things the voice said, and when that hadn't worked, he'd tried to stomp down on it, shut it out of his mind, but the voice had persisted to whisper its hateful accusations, claiming that Reed had betrayed him out of pure malice. And Trip was beginning to listen to the voice. How could Reed have possibly known how to open that door, how to fly that flitter if they hadn't explained it to him first, if they hadn't revealed every single detail of their plan to him? The image of Reed sitting in the pilot seat of that flitter with them gathered around him, explaining him how to work the controls and showing him how to overload the thruster came to Trip's mind, and it hurt his very soul to think of that. And he realized he hated Reed. He hated him for what he had done, no matter what reasons he could possibly have. But at the same time he didn't want to hate his friend, and he hated Reed even more for putting him in this hopeless situation.

You have all reason to hate him, he heard the voice say as it finally came out of its hiding place at the back of his mind, growing louder and taking on substance. He's not your friend. A friend wouldn't do this to you.

Trip shook his head, trying to get rid of the treacherous voice. "He's scared," he whispered. "They frightened him into doin' this. Or maybe they gave him drugs or somethin'..."

You know that's not the truth, the voice said in an almost compassionate tone. He knew exactly what he was doing. He wanted to do this.

"No!" Trip bit his lip, hearing his voice break. What was this about anyway, why was he talking to voices in his head, was he going crazy or-

Yes, he wanted to do this, they didn't have to make him. And they couldn't possibly have made him do it, anyway. You know Reed's not a coward. He's a mean little bastard, but he's not a coward.

"He doesn't have to be a coward to be afraid of them," Trip said, speaking past the lump that was building in his throat. "They threatened him with the tests..."

The voice snickered. Says he. How can you believe that bullshit? He's been lying with every word he said.

"No," Trip whispered, but he knew he'd lost. No matter what he said, the voice came up with new arguments against it, and sensible arguments, too. Reed had betrayed him, and he had wanted to do so, but Trip just couldn't bring himself to believe it. "No, shut up."

No, I won't shut up. Someone needs to tell you this, because it's the truth. Reed did this on his own free will, no one had to force him to do it, and you-

"Shut up!" Trip yelled, feeling tears run down his cheeks. "Shut up, I don't want to listen to this, why can't you leave me alone-"

Burying his face in his arms, he tried to shut out the voice, but it wouldn't keep quiet, speaking in that same maliciously gleeful tone as it continued.

You are alone. No one will help you, and you had better not trust anyone. They'll keep trying their tricks, but you mustn't believe them ever again. You mustn't believe Reed. You mustn't believe anyone.

The voice filled his head, and as much as he despised it, in an odd twisted way he was glad for those words. They, at least, were the truth. He mustn't believe anyone if he wanted to survive in this terrible place. Not. Believe. Anyone. Ever again.

Still, there was Malcolm, and Trip felt so lost, so miserable only thinking of him. It hurt so terrible to have lost this friendship, and it hurt even more to realize that there had never been any friendship to lose. Reed didn't care a shit about him, didn't care a shit whether he lived or died, and had probably only acted his friend because Trip happened to be his CO and a friend of the Captain's. Trip couldn't believe he'd fallen for that, that he'd been stupid enough to think he'd been the one who'd managed to get close to Reed. Reed had never wanted anyone to get close to him, he didn't care about people, and certainly not about some naive blockhead who for some obscure reasons had tried to be his friend.

That's just like me, Trip thought bitterly, to fall for any stupid act someone's playing on me.

But not this time. Not ever again. He wouldn't believe anything anyone told him, and he wouldn't fall for their tricks. He wouldn't fall for Reed's tricks.

Suddenly his feelings of loss and hurt were replaced by fury. Who did that lying bastard think he was to do this to him, to make such a fool of him? Here he was, trying to find excuses for what Reed had done, crying, for God's sake, for his lost friendship, while Reed was probably sitting somewhere, laughing his head off at such stupidity.

Angrily wiping the tears off, Trip got to his feet, feeling hatred burn inside him. He wished Reed would come through this door now, face him so he could make him pay for what he'd done. Trip knew that if he were to get his hands on Reed now, he wouldn't hesitate to kill him and even though somewhere in his mind he was aware of the fact that this was crazy, this was madness, he knew he would do it anyway. Standing in the middle of the cell, Trip let his eyes wander over the walls of the room.

"Are you watchin'?" he asked, hating himself for the hoarseness of his tone. "Are you enjoyin' yourself, you bastard? This is what you wanted, isn't it, what you wanted all along. But you know what? You're not gonna play any more dirty tricks on me, I'm not gonna fall for anythin' you're doin' and - "

His voice failed, and for a moment Trip only stood there, breathing heavily. He listened to his words echo through the silence, unanswered. And he realized this wasn't just a nightmare, some temporary thing, but it was for real. It was not going to be reversed. Ever. Malcolm was gone. No, worse, the Malcolm he'd known had never even existed, and now that he'd become aware of that, he was alone. Really alone.

His knees gave way, and he crumpled to the floor, burying his face in his hands. Fresh tears rose in his eyes, and he didn't even try to hold them back.

"I hate you," he whispered, hardly able to hear his own voice which was drowned out by the pounding in his ears. "I hate you."

-###-

"Subject 2 is reacting the way we expected him to."

"He does seem to think that his companion betrayed him. I am surprised."

"What do you mean, First Assistant?"

"I cannot believe he did not notice it was a hologram that staged the escape."

"Their species is not very advanced. They are not familiar with holo technology. And moreover, the hologram was most accurately adjusted to the motion and speech patterns of Subject 1. There is no way he could have told the difference."

"But the hologram was programmed to behave in an unusual way, considering the usual behaviour patterns of Subject 1. Subject 2 could have gotten suspicious."

"It was necessary to convince him that Subject 1 was pretending he had lost his mind. Otherwise the experiment would have failed."

"Of course, Supervisor."

"What about the other subject? The real Subject 1? Did the injections take effect?"

"Most efficiently, Supervisor. The sleep deprivation is starting to show."

"Interesting. I cannot believe that a species who has to lie unconscious for several hours a day could have reached this stage of development. My evaluations showed that keeping him awake will lead to his death after a relatively short amount of time. Unfortunately we will not be able to observe him in this state any longer. We need to bring him back to the other cell soon."

"It will be interesting to observe Subject 2's reaction. Most interesting indeed."

"Second Assistant."

"Yes, Supervisor?"

"I noticed some time ago that you derive a certain pleasure from doing these researches. It is not appropriate. You know why these experiments need to be conducted. You know what is at stake. I will not tolerate this any longer."

"Yes, Supervisor."

"Now take Subject 1 back to the cell."

"Yes, sir."

"Proceed."

TBC...

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