My feelings...
-KizuPL
A/N: Hello. I hope you'll like my story. This is - I think this is - the thing called one-shot, but I'm not sure. And it's Kyuubi POV. And Naruto is 17 years old.
Warning: OOC, little Sakura bashing, shonen-ai but not completely.
Disclaimer: Man this thing is really irritating. Am I supposed to write this thing each time I'll make a new story? I mean I'm writing on FANFICTION.NET am I not? If I would OWN Naruto I wouldn't write it but rather draw it, wouldn't I?
Summary: Umm... I'm not sure if I should write it... Okay. It's about Kyuubi feelings. I won't write more. Read
My feelings...
I am supposed to be a monster, a demon, a devil - aren't I?
Yet I'm not.
Well, not exactly. Sure I love to kill and make people feel pain and terror, but...
I have a feelings...
Well every demon has a feelings. It's... complicated. Each demon has a feelings but they do not affect him. How to say it... Never mind. It's not so important. What is important is the fact that those feelings that have created me are bothering too much to my likes.
You see, each demon is created by humans. Yes. By humans. By their hate, despise, contempt - each evil feeling. It cumulate and a demon came in to being. I was created long ago and those feelings were making me stronger that other demons. But... It have changed. I started to feel those feelings.
And I hate it.
It was you. You have made me feel them. And the others feelings as well... It started when I started to hate you.
Yes. At first I have hated you. I have hated everything about you. The fact that you resemble your own farther - the man that have sealed me.
ME! The greatest demon among demons! The fucking king of my kind! And I was sealed by a mere human. Never mind that he was the most powerful human in this world - he still was human and nothing could change it.
I hated your appearance. Your golden locks and baby blue eyes. You didn't look like container of a powerful demon.
I hated your attitude. You didn't acted like a host of feared fox demon.
You looked too angelic.
You acted too innocent.
You were too oblivious.
Too weak.
Too nice.
Too sweet.
Too naive.
Too foolish.
Too sensitive.
And I hated it.
I hated you more than villagers have. Than anyone. I was looking through your eyes. I have seen anything you done, all your failures, all your pranks.
And then you have... interested me.
You were always alone. Always pushed away. Always despised and hated. You have never known the parentally love. You didn't have any friends and you didn't know meaning of friendship. You didn't know meaning of love. You weren't acknowledged. No one liked you. Adults have even beaten you few times and you haven't defend yourself.
You should be by long time broken, sad, hollow.
But...
You weren't.
You were acting as if you know what those feelings mean. As if you knew what friendship, love or compassion mean. As if you haven't been beaten, despised, hated. As if you had parents that love you, as if you had friends and companions, which you didn't have. You were bright, happy, unscathed mentally.
I couldn't understand it. And I have hated that too. So instead of simply hating you, laughing in deepest bottom of your mind at you failures, I started looking at you more attentively.
And I realized that you aren't who I and everyone thought.
You weren't a failure.
You weren't a fool.
You weren't naive.
You weren't so nice.
You weren't so innocent as I thought.
You weren't oblivious.
You weren't so sweet.
It took me really long to notice it. To notice that everything you were doing had it sense. That it was a mask.
It took me twelve years of living in you to notice it. You have hided yourself from me and anyone else so well, that you have impressed me.
And made me mad like no one ever had. More than your father the Fourth.
I have noticed it when that - what was his name? Mikuki? Miuki? Mizuki! - Mizuki guy told you that you are my host. I thought you won't believe him. In font of that teacher of you have cried and run away. But I have heard your thought:
Like I didn't know.
I felt as if someone have slapped me. You knew that I'm in you. You knew why people hate you. You knew all time. Rage filled me and I wanted nothing more than kill you. Yet I couldn't. At that time feelings have started to get on me.
From that time I was watching you 24/7. And then I have seen everything with clarity.
You failed three times to perfect everything. At each Jutsu you were perfect. I think you were better even that that Uchiha heir.
You've listened Mizuki to stole the Seal Scrol only to learn Kage Bunshin no Jutsu. You knew that he wanted to use you, but it went another way. It was him who were used by you.
You weren't fighting back when some villagers were beating you, so no one would take you as dangerous person. As someone who should be feared or a boy who is a danger to village..
You were fooling, so no one would take you seriously. So everyone would thought that you are no-one, zero, failure.
And you did it.
Than I have discovered that you have gathered all information's you shouldn't even know they exist. You knew who your parents were. You knew how Uchiha clan was murdered. You even knew what kind of Jutsu was used to seal me. You knew about Byakugan, Sharingan and all about bloodlines inside Konoha and some from others villages. You knew who was your teacher and how did he get Sharingan. You knew about the other demon - Shushaku in Gaara of the Sand. You even knew that you have a spy in village, although you didn't know exactly who was it.
Actually you have taught me a lot about your village and about the others.
Than I came to conclusion. I will show myself to you.
I have to admit I haven't chosen the perfect moment. It was the time you were about to fight with those Mist Chuunins on your first C-ranked mission. I have just said hello to you, yet you knew it was me.
Don't you think it's about time you show yourself?
Was your reply. It has made you froze for a moment. And that was unfortunate. If not that Uchiha brat we could be dead.
Than you said.
Did someone told you that you don't have a good timing? I mean, don't you think it would be stupid if our first talk would be our last?
I started laughing.
I have healed yours wound.
And we started talk more often. Before I even noticed I became attached to you. And I discovered that I couldn't hate you anymore.
I remember that at beginning of Chuunin exam you said that it's about time you'll show how good you really are. But after the Sound-nins showed you weren't so sure anymore. You were concentrated on Sound trio - you suspected that it was Orochimaru's village - and Kabuto - you were almost sure he was a spy.
So at first part you were fooling yourself. You had a plan that if you can't answer at the 10 question, you'll answer for one - third if I remember correctly. And you passed.
However on the second test you have showed that guy that you're strong. But he have beaten you. When you lost conscious we began to talk. I told you everything about myself and you have done the same. When we wake up we both were shocked to discover that our opponent was Orochimaru and that he gave Sasuke Cursed Seal. Then you've said that from now on you'll slowly show how strong you're. And you did.
You have beaten Kiba - dog boy. Without your full strength.
You have beaten Neji - Hyuuga prodigy. With my chakra.
You have beaten Kabuto - sound spy. With yours father Jutsu.
You have bring back Sasuke from Orochimaru - with my help. I think we were something akin to friends.
People started to see you - not me.
I started to get nightmares, and the feelings that have created me started to consume me, yet you have saved me.
And than I realized you were more to me than a friend.
Your features I hated I started to notice as nice. And than I started feeling hatred again.
No, not at you. Like I said I couldn't hate you.
I hated when you were giving your interest in that Haruno girl. I started to think that she doesn't deserve your interest. For me that bitch was an annoying whore that didn't deserve to live. And I hated the way many people were looking at you.
Then I came to another conclusion. After all you were innocent.
What if you have killed before. Seven people. All wanted to kill you. You were four at first incident and I couldn't believe. I was in you and I didn't knew about it? Then you showed me memory and I believed. You and I couldn't lie in ours memories.
What if you knew how the ANBU work? It wasn't a nice experience for you. One of your assassin were an ANBU
What if you knew the hatred? All villagers have felt it forward you.
For me you still were innocent.
You didn't know anything about sex. Well you did, but not about sex man with man. You couldn't feel that type of stares. No wrong. You did notice them, but you didn't understand them.
It was distracting you and it was making me mad.
First Kiba, then Neji, Gaara, Sasuke, his brother Itachi - okay you did notice something with him was definitely wrong - Kabuto, even that lazy bum Shikamaru and your own teacher - Kakashi.
It was driving me insane and I didn't know why.
Until I started noticing things about you in a special way.
Your blonde locks - I wanted to touch them, to smell them.
Your beautiful blue eyes - I wanted to look at them, to see all they have masked and unmasked, to drown in those deeps of true colour.
Your full lips - I wanted to kiss them, taste them, have them.
Your whiskers - you looked like a cute little fox with them and it gave me a feeling we are alike.
Your small, lithe body and tanned skin - I wanted to taste it, smell it, touch it.
I have discovered that I have... fell in love with you.
You resembled the angels I hate, yet I loved everything about you. Your character - I loved our talks. Your body. Simply you.
And yes. Angels exists. I can't remember them but... I hate them. I don't know why.
And why am I thinking so much?
Today is a special day.
Today is your 17 birthday.
I'll show you my human me I made specially to you.
And today I'll tell you this.
Uzumaki Naruto, I - a fucking demon - love you.
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I think I've got some kind of obsession about Naruto being someone else.
I hope it wasn't completely unreadable.
Reviews are appreciated.