Dawn spent the next several days moping and breaking into tears at random moments. She cried when se saw a funeral home commercial, a guy smoking outside her house, even when she heard a song by the Sex Pistols. She hated the Sex Pistols! She was miserable indeed..she felt as if her life were over. As if there was no point in doing anything. Everything reminded her of Spike. And she wanted to die.
Every moment she felt a dull aching nausea; it hurt to breathe, hurt to think. Thoughts of him made her want to weep, and thoughts of a future without him made her want to end everything. She wanted to scream, she wanted to sob, she wanted to lash out in blind rage. Everything was bleak, blank, harsh, too real, and she wanted to hurt the one who had ruined everything. Buffy.
But something, the same something that had intervened that night, wouldn't let her. She didn't know what it was, or rather, didn't want to know, but inside, she did…deep down. Down past the white hot pain, the choking, grasping, all encompassing rage, she knew. It was there. Love. It was hard to believe something so simple was holding her back, but it was.
She was Buffy, and Buffy was her; and as much as she wanted to sever that connection with her sister, it was there. She couldn't describe it, but she felt it. Didn't understand why she felt it, but she did. Her sister was a part of her, in her. When Buffy had died, her world had crumbled. She needed her sister.
Love was the dam that held back her vengeance. She contained all the pain, loss, and despair because she couldn't hurt Buffy. Wouldn't hurt Buffy. And so she couldn't be with Spike.
All of this wordlessly surged inside of her, only serving to fuel her anger to greater heights. The emotions churned within her, a tide swirling at the walls of containment, and she couldn't stop them. Love held her back, but for how long? Because there was another love. A deeper love, mixed in with the fury. And that one pushed her forward…
* * *
Janice and Lindsay walked excitedly down the streets, still euphoric because of a certain encounter with the exceedingly masculine presence of a bleached blonde vampire. It had been two days, but since both girls had been busy with family, they hadn't discussed it. Apparently, their high spirits still hadn't subsided.
"Oh, man," Janice exclaimed giddily. "He was hot."
"I didn't know dead guys could look like that! I thought they'd be pasty and…ugh."
"Girl, I have never seen anything farther from 'pasty and ugh'!"
"No kidding."
The girls, so deep in reveling over their brief meeting with the sexy vamp, didn't notice the figure stealthily trailing behind them. By the time they did, it was too late, and Janice screamed as something knocked Lindsay aside and lunged for her throat.
She tried to fend it off with her hands, but she might as well have been standing still for all the difference it made. Panic rushed through her as she continued to struggle. Finally, the thing pinned her arms to her sides and jerked her head roughly, exposing her neck. She screeched with terror.
Just as she felt two needle-like pricks rip into her throat, the thing was pulled off her. She opened her eyes and saw Lindsay on the cement, propped up on her hands, and then saw a flash of blonde hair as someone ducked, whirled, and punched at the thing that had attacked her.
She tried to edge away from the fight, but the pain and lightheadedness from the assault left her weak, and she remained still. Finally, the girl threw it against a dumpster and pulled out a…stick? and plunged it into the thing's chest. The creature immediately crumbled into dust.
Janice clutched at her throat and gaped at the young blonde who had saved her life, recognizing her as Dawn's sister. Buffy. So it was true; Buffy, vampires, the Slayer…She looked down at Lindsay and their eyes met, the small lingering doubt that had remained in their minds now gone completely. Everything Dawn had said was true.
"Hey," Buffy commented casually, dusting her hands on her pants as if nothing had happened. "Don't I know you from somewhere?" She paused. "Janice, right? Dawn's friend? And Lindsay?" she noted, reaching down to pull the other girl to her feet.
She reached over and removed Janice's hand from her neck. "It isn't deep." She looked sympathetic. "Just put some pressure...you'll be fine."
Janice breathed deep, then pulled away, suddenly angry. "Yeah, ok, thanks." She narrowed her eyes for a moment before turning to walk away. Lindsay followed, pausing once to turn and glare at their rescuer.
What was that about? wondered Buffy. She began to walk away when she heard one girl –Janice? - ask the other, "Why am I always the one to get bitten by the vampire?"
She froze and turned to look at them, but the girls were gone.
* * *
A quick sniff of the air told him that the Slayer was out. Good. He somewhat apprehensively ascended the porch steps and rapped on the front door. C'mon, baby... he thought urgently. He waited.
He was about to turn and go around to look in her window when the door opened. Relieved he turned to face it, casting a quick glance to the sidewalk to make sure the Slayer wasn't back yet. "Dawn, I-"
Oh, hell, he thought, when, instead of Dawn, an angry Willow glared out at him.
"Hey, Red," he said, immediately affecting his 'Big Bad' pose and staring at her through hooded eyes. "Just…stopped by to see Dawn...y' know…tell her a story…she here?"
Willow's eyes narrowed and she said, "Get out of here, Spike. Buffy told me everything. Stay away from Dawn." She moved to slam the door in his face and paused. "And if you ever try to hurt her again, I'll kill you myself."
The door closed and Spike paused, confused. He slammed his fists against the wooden barrier, wishing he could break down the other, more magical one, then sighed and rested his forehead between his clenched hands.
Try to hurt her? What was the witch going on about? Probably some cock and bull nonsense Buffy the Bitch came with, no doubt… He straightened up, slammed his fist into the door once more for good measure, and turned, angrily storming down the sidewalk.
* * *
Willow walked back to the living room where Tara was sitting, watching 'The Craft'. "Who was that?" she asked.
"Oh, just Spike," Willow said, rolling her eyes which flashed with anger when she continued, "I can't believe he tried to do that to Dawn. Then he has the nerve to come try and see her! It just proves he hasn't changed one bit. He's still the same guy who threatened me with 'bottle in face' a couple years ago! Did I tell you how he hit on me then? There was major flirtage...talking about the having of me and stuff…
"I should've killed him, right now," she resolved. "not sent him away. Why didn't I kill him?"
" 'Cause you're not like that, sweetie..." Tara said soothingly. "it's not like he was actually threatening you, and you wouldn't do that." Tara gently placed her hand on Willow's arm.
"Mmm," Willow grudgingly admitted. "You're right…" She snuggled against Tara's shoulder and turned her attention back to the movie. "Ya know, that evil, floaty witch is pretty cool…"
* * *
Meanwhile, upstairs, Dawn's hopeless anger and been replaced by rigid determination. She paced back and forth, feeling like a trapped animal... Her palms were sweaty, he breathing haggard; she felt as if the walls were closing in on her and a scream of hurt and frustration threatened to tear from her throat. She slammed her palms down on the dresser and stared into the mirror, gripping the edges so of the furniture so hard she wouldn'tve been surprised if they'd snapped off.
She needed to get out. Needed to see Spike. Make sure he was…oh god, when had she gotten like this? She felt empty inside, like part of her was missing, and it hurt beyond imagining. Fuck this... she thought. Fuck Buffy. I'm going.
She brushed the thick black strands out of her eyes and pulled on corduroy jacket. Opening the window, she crawled out and hurriedly made her way to the ground. As she slipped around the house, edging towards the street, she stifled a scream.
Before her was something.. a demon.. huge; it was roughly seven feet, eight? She wasn't sure...she just knew that it towered over her. It was large and beefy with no neck, slimy, and its eyes looked as though they were sunken into its large, round head. She looked at its hands; big, meaty hammers that could rip her apart in a second…oh, god…
She tried to clear her head, couldn't lose it. Oh, god... She bounced on the balls of her feet, looking around wildly, subduing the instincts that told her to run. I can take it, she thought, though another voice in her head told her otherwise. What do you think you've been doing? she argued back. All the witchy power and stuff? For fun? Go for it!
With that, the negative voice was quiet and she began to concentrate. She couldn't do it as thoughtlessly as Willow, but it was there, and she felt the magick building within her, waiting to be let out.
The beast struck her, but as she fell to the ground, crying out in pain, she didn't let her concentration waver. She took a deep breath and chanted…slowly…the beast stopped coming at her…and faster…it began to howl in pain and clutch at it's chest…she yelled out the final words and it let out an agonized scream and fell to the ground, silent.
Shakily, she climbed to her feet and gingerly touched her arm where the demon had hit her. She winced in pain and limped towards the house, exhausted, her plans of escape forgotten.
* * *
Buffy gaped, staring at her sister from the sidewalk. Her mind told her to go help her, but her body was frozen in shock. Dawn. She'd just seen Dawn take down a demon. A big one, one that would've given her a good fight. Dawn had...killed it. With magic...or something.
All she knew was that she'd been heading home after patrol and had seen something hit Dawn. She'd run towards the house only to see the demon drop dead before she had reached them. Dawn had…power? Real power? This was...wow. So that's what she meant by, 'I can handle myself.' She had told her. And Buffy hadn't believed...
But Dawn letting- Dawn and Spike? Never. She thought that Dawn had been afraid, covering up for Spike. Dawn wouldn't…but then she recalled last year, when Dawn had told Buffy, 'Spike's in love with you,' and her sheepish smile when she had said, 'I don't think Spike's icky…'
Dawn and Spike. But why would Spike want Dawn? To hurt her? But he couldn't; the chip was working...Will had checked. He couldn't care for her...he was what? 111 years deader than her?
'Angel was-'
'This has nothing to do with Angel!' her other voice interrupted. Spike was always devious and stupid…and horny. The possibility that Spike wanted Dawn was, well, after what she'd seen, probable, and, she hated to say it, but it was obvious now, that Dawn wanted Spike, too.
But it wasn't more than that, and she couldn't let him use her sister like that. That was all he wanted…it was… wasn't it??
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
Sorry, guys, I know I planned more frequent updates if you reviewed, but that was before the unexpected taking away of my computer…I promise though, now that its back, if the review keep coming, so will the story.
So please review, Review, REVIEW!!