Truth Keeper

A/N – OK, so here's the deal: time has passed. And things have happened. Why? Because it must before anything happens. But instead of filling it in during the story (which would be a long, painful, boring process) I'm going to summarize the most important points. I'm sure you can find a number of fics that fill in the time between where the last chapter left off and where I've picked it back up, and if not use your imagination. So here are the main points for what has happened since the last two chapters:

1) Tara was not killed. But she was shot, in the back yard talking to Buffy. Buffy was not shot. Willow saved Tara like she saved Buffy in cannon, but still went psycho and is currently at the retreat in England with Tara at her side.

2) As you'll recall, Anya and Xander did get married in this fic. She did not become a demon, and they are together.

3) Cordelia has gone up to the higher realms, just like in Angel cannon

4) Angel did not get sent to the bottom of the ocean in a box. Connor did not blame him for Holtz's death, because he learned what a vampire bite actually looked like before he saw Justine with Holtz's body. (Just for the hell of it, let's just say he kicked her ass for what she tried to pull)

Those are the important things you need to know for the fic, if anything else occurs to me, I will be sure to somehow incorporate it into the story or throw it in during an author's note.

Nit-picky note for this chapter (you really don't have to read this): As a finance student, I thought it would be fun to say just how much money the debt Ari bought from Spike would be worth today, assuming a 10% compound interest rate and that she fiddled with the numbers to maximize their value. I didn't want to deal with the mass amount of effort 100% accurate calculations would have taken, so the number I give you here is a very rough estimate that the wonders of the internet (specifically Economic History Resources, ) and Microsoft Excel (instead of using a calculator and doing by hand over one hundred calculations) helped me to find. Basically, from my estimates the value would be around US$22 million to US$23 million today (I may be completely off and should consider changing my major). Anyways, this is just a note for anyone that is interested in how I came up with that number, and to let you know that because this is just a fanfic, I didn't stress my brain too much in figuring out the calculations (i.e. pulling a random interest rate that is very easy to use out of my ass). If anyone's interested in how I calculated the final value and where I got my numbers, please feel free to email me about this subject. (I am now looking back at this little note and realizing just how big a finance geek I have become – I blame it on university brain washing and procrastination tactics gone too far)

Oh, and by the way, thank you for the wonderful reviews and remember: I am completely willing to grovel for more.

Chapter 20 – Waking Up

July 2002

Buffy rolled over in her bed, her arm reaching out to her side as if it went to grasp something. When it found nothing but the mattress beside her, she frowned and blindly grabbed one of her pillows, wrapping her arms around it. After a few minutes of shifting unsuccessfully, she let out a loud grown and flopped onto her back, her eyes snapping awake. Glancing to the side, she looked at the glowing numbers on her alarm clock.

4:27

Groaning again, Buffy got out of bed and pulled on some sweatpants and a hoody. She quietly went down stairs, stopping only to write a letter to Dawn.

Dawnie,

Don't forget breakfast – meet me at the studio at 10

Buffy

Buffy was starting to get really annoyed by the turn her sleeping habits had been taking in the last month. She was starting to find it almost completely impossible to get a good night's sleep without having Spike beside her. It had worked perfectly in the first few months they were together – with the winter-time sunrise hours, Spike was able to stay until at least six most mornings, and she was usually up by then for work anyways, so they had settled into a routine. He would walk her to the corner of Revello, give her a long kiss and then she would head home. After the small talk and usual evening activities with Dawn, Willow, and Tara she would head up to her room and about half an hour later there would be a tapping at her window from one bleached-blond vampire. It was the perfect routine, and she loved it.

When the sun had started to rise earlier and earlier, they had changed the routine. And if she was really honest with herself, she liked it even more. Any morning she had work, which meant four or five nights a week, they would follow the usual routine of kiss, home, bed, but then Buffy would slip out her window and head over to Spike's at around 3 am.

It was exactly what she was doing now. As she reached the tall building, she nodded at the evening doorman, who automatically opened the door for her and smiled warmly. He was fond of the young woman and her boyfriend – night owls like himself it seemed. He was also very happy with the fact that he saw the young woman walking down Main Street once in a while on sunny afternoons and wearing a cross around her neck every so often. It meant that they were just night owls and not something else.

Buffy got into the elevator and hit the button for the tenth floor. Impatiently, she watched the numbers indicating the elevator's slow decent up, unable to hide a smile as the door slid open indicating she was almost at her destination – Spike's.

She wasn't afraid to admit that Spike's apartment had quickly become one of her favourite places. And it wasn't just because it happened to be where Spike lived. She just loved what he had done to the place. The apartment was well sized and in a very good building. At first she had been surprised at the location and quality of the apartment, but finally Spike had reluctantly explained where his sudden financing had come from. When he had first said Arabella's name, Buffy had cringed. In typical Buffy-fashion she had jumped to the conclusion that she was playing "sugar-mommy" for Spike, but after a bit of ranting, pacing, and general freaking-out, Spike had calmed Buffy down enough to explain the actual arrangement. When Spike first said that Ari had purchased the £11 debt Spike was owed from Dracula, Buffy had scoffed. But then Spike had explained, at first verbally, and then with diagrams and evidence when Buffy didn't believe what he was telling her. The debt was from around the turn of the last century – 1898 – and after applying inflation, compound interest, and exchange rates at the right times (the mathematics of which made Buffy's brain hurt), the value of the debt was mind-boggling. Spike had just gone on about how much he loved exponential curves and inflation. Buffy was still afraid to say the number that was in Spike's brand-new bank account(s) out loud.

Nonetheless, Buffy loved Spike's apartment. There weren't very many rooms – a kitchen, living room, and two bedrooms (one that had been made into Spike's Room of Randomness and Weapons, as Buffy called it) – but they were all extremely spacious with high ceilings. There were big windows and Buffy figured that there would be great natural lighting if Spike wanted it, although, obviously, he didn't, and a large fireplace in the living room that Buffy adored. Spike had decorated the apartment in a mix of traditional Victorian style and modern edge. Buffy still wasn't sure how he had managed to combine the two, but one afternoon when she had nothing better to do than ponder her vampire's decorating tastes, that was what she had come up with. What she loved most was the constant game she played in finding the little things scattered around the apartment that were just so Spike. There were obvious things – like the framed, vintage, signed posters that Spike of the Sex Pistols, the Doors, and the Who displayed along one wall of the bedroom, or the fact that when you opened the cupboards in the kitchen you could always be sure to find a large stock of Wheatabix, hot chocolate mix, Glenfiddich, and mini-marshmallows – but it was the little things that Buffy loved to find. The black nail polish that sat on his bedside table, the pieces of paper that had complex doodles all over them that he made when he was bored, or her personal favourite, finding the old novels and poetry books he tried to hide from her. She even laughed when she found the child-like picture of Angel on the punching bag in the Room of Randomness and Weapons after she had mentioned him one evening while they were discussing a demon she had seen in high school.

But what she most loved about the apartment was that she felt so at home there. Sometimes, more at home there than at the house on Revello. On one level, this fact bothered her, on another, she loved how at ease she had become with Spike. And this was the level that she realised made her the happiest. Buffy still had her panic moments about what her relationship with Spike meant. But for the past few months, since they had learned about Dawn, the panic moments were becoming far and few between, and when they did occur she mentally stopped herself before she acted on them. More and more often, her internal freak outs had more to do with missing Spike than anything else. She hated it when she was unable to see him during the day or night at some point, and although their relationship wasn't public knowledge yet, she found almost all the decisions made being determined by how they would impact the both of them, not just her.

The last few weeks had been the most difficult. Tara had gone to join Willow in England while she recovered from her "magical loss of control" (the PC term Buffy had started using for Willow's foray into bringing on the apocalypse), so Buffy had been alone in the house with Dawn. She had grown used to the fact that if she wanted to, there was someone in the house to watch out for her sister, and she had been able to spend late evenings "slaying," or sneaking over to Spike's apartment. However much independence Buffy had given Dawn in the last few months, she still did not feel comfortable leaving her in the house alone at night, for reasons that were both demon and every-day-life related. Buffy hadn't spent a night away from the house for over four weeks. Spike would kiss her goodbye a block away from her house, and she would head home, not to be met later in her bedroom. Buffy knew it was too risky with only her and Dawn in the house – any strange sounds could be automatically traced to Buffy. All of the extra alone time had given Buffy the opportunity to think. This was the reason she had was about to enter Spike's apartment at 5 a.m. in the morning and leave Dawn alone, even if it was only for an hour more than unusual. She had made a decision as she tossed and turned in her bed, and she needed to let him know.

As Buffy used her key to enter the apartment, she could help but smile at the sight before her. Spike was asleep on the couch, one of the infamous books that were his dirty little secret resting open on his chest, old half-glasses perching precariously on the tip of his nose.

As soon as she shut the door, he shot up in complete defensive mode. Both the book and pair of glasses clattered to the floor, Spike casually pushing them under the couch as soon as he realized that it was just his Slayer. Buffy couldn't help laugh as she walked over to the vampire and put her arms around his neck. Spike automatically brought his own arms around her waist and leaned in to give her a brief kiss hello.

 "This is unexpected. Very nice, but also very unexpected." Spike casually leaned back into the couch, bringing Buffy with him. She cuddled up into his side and sighed happily.

 "I needed to see you. I thought I'd stop in before I headed to work." That was the other thing – about two weeks after the news about Dawn (everything seemed to be defined by that one week), Buffy had noticed an advertisement in the newspaper offering aerobics instructor certification at a gym in downtown Sunnydale. Buffy had signed up after literally everyone told her it would be the perfect job for her. It turned out the instructor certifying thought so too, and hired her as the new intensive aerobics instructor at her fitness studio as soon as she had got her certification. Buffy taught three classes in the morning, and did personal workouts for about three hours midday. Not only did the job work around Buffy's slaying schedule, but she really enjoyed it and the tips that her private sessions with the wealthier Sunnydale denizens were a very nice perk.

 "What about the 'Bit?"

 "I figured that one hour at Dawn wouldn't be too bad. And I have something very important I want to tell you." With that, Buffy pulled herself out of Spike's arms, and turned to face him, picking up his hands as she did so. "I've made a decision."

The look of resolve on Buffy's face made Spike nervous. Every time he was with her, he had to remind himself that he wasn't dreaming and that his arms around her were a reality. Most of the time he was waiting for the other shoe to drop, and for her to realize just how much better she could do. Even though as she said the words she was rubbing the palm of one of his hands' with her thumb affectionately, he half-expected her to tell him that she no longer wanted to waste her time with a vampire.

 "This whole thing is driving me mad. I'm sick of pretending to not feel anything for you in front of my friends and I hate lying to Dawn. I can't do it anymore."

 "Oh." The other shoe had finally dropped. He knew that it would come sooner or later. The only thing that confused him was why Buffy was still playing with his hands.

 "That's all you have to say? 'Oh?'"

 "Well I'm not exactly sure how you expected me to react, but that's all I can really muster at the moment."

Buffy pulled her hands away from Spike's and slugged him in the shoulder. "God, I tell you that I want to finally tell the Scoobies about us and you can't muster a reaction. I was kind of expected overjoyed and a lot of smoochies."

 "Oh. Oh, oh, oh." Spike was suddenly feeling exactly how Buffy was hoping he would feel. And seeing her sitting on his couch with the pout and crinkled brow she was now sporting, he definitely wanted to kiss her. "I thought... Well, I thought you meant… Oh, sod the talking." Spike leaned over and kissed Buffy intensely, pulling her into his lap as he did so. When they finally came up so Buffy could get some air, they both had stupid grins on their faces. "Sorry about that love, for a moment I thought you were dumping me."

 "Idiot." And to show that she meant it, Buffy leaned in to continue with the much-desired smoochies.

Before things could progress further, Spike sat up straight and looked at Buffy pensively. "How are you going to tell them?"

Buffy rolled her eyes. "Glad to see that that's what you're thinking about while kissing me. I figured I would talk, while they listened of course, and words about me and you and love came out of my mouth."

 "Love? Bloody hell, I thought we were both in this for the shag." Spike smirked and laughed as the obligatory punch to his shoulder made contact. "No, seriously, are you just saying this because the Wicca's are away so you can't tell them, and the Bit's running off with a bunch of girls to a cabin in the middle of nowhere for two weeks?"

 "I'm just saying this because I became a hundred percent sure it was time about an hour ago, and thought you might want to know. It's not my fault that the reason I'm hundred percent sure is because Willow and Tara are gone, and that means less Spike-time, which makes me really miss you. And the fact that I'm not upset about Dawn going on vacation with Janice and her family – which it really should be, and still I can't believe you talked me into agreeing, by the way – because all I can think about is how excited I am about the idea of waking up beside you two whole weeks in a row. So maybe it is the worst time for me to get my resolve, but I don't want to have to miss you anymore and I don't want to have to look forward to waking up beside you because it's so rare."

 "I miss you too, Buffy. Especially when I'm asleep without you there."

Buffy smiled and slid her arms tightly around Spike's neck, resting her head on his shoulder with a contented sigh. "So we tell everyone as soon as possible?"

Spike just smiled and buried his head into Buffy's neck, not fully able to believe that the woman in his arms was actually there and wanting to stay there.